WHAT HAVE I DONE?

6 FEBRUARY, SATURDAY, IN CONTINUATION

Harvey informed me seriously, "You can rest assured it would not happen again."

"Okay, but... How did you know about it?" I asked.

"Ki reported the breech in conduct." Harvey said.

Oh.

"I'm sorry for the slip up." Harvey said.

Eh?

"You weren't even there, Harvey. It's hardly your fault." I said, "And Ben's always been kind of rebellious anyway."

"Even so, you entrusted Ki and Ben's training to me." Harvey said, "So I am partly to blame."

Oh.

I grinned, "Yeah, but you're also partly to thank for all the stuff they did good too right? Thanks for the hard work."

Harvey blinked owishly as if surprised. It was quite a funny expression on my usually cool beta. Hahahaha.

Then he smiled his usual calm descending, "Thank you, Princess for your compliment. I'll keep working hard."

And then he showed me the papers which were mostly land deeds and where to put my name. Dad was gifting the land for the Princess Town to me. At first, he had meant to gift it as an inauguration gift, but they've decided to just get the paperwork done up first so that the construction work could commence.

"Can I see the plans for the Princess Town?" I asked.

"Certainly, princess. I'll just be a moment." Harvey left my office.

Okay...

He returned with a few plastic scrolls and a laptop. Docking the laptop at my desk, he projected it to the larger screens, "This is the 3D rendering. The blue prints are here."

He opened up the papers to show me the road works and zone allocation, there was even a sewage and cable plan. It looked like it was all planned out.

"We have yet to finalize the plans. There is some concern about affecting the landscape and exposing the town too much for security reasons by building too high, and also about taking out too much forest if we expanded outwards in the future." Harvey said.

"Is this the park?" I asked.

There was a large green square where the stream used to run.

"Yes." Harvey answered.

"What about the stream?" I asked.

"The stream?" Harvey asked. He frowned and then he checked the other plans, "They will be damming it higher up."

Oh.

I stared at the map silently.

"Do you have any concerns regarding the stream?" Harvey asked.

"The red trees too." I said. I feel my lips pout on their own.

"The red trees?" Harvey asked. He didn't look like he knew what I meant. Did he never see the red trees in spring? This was the only mountain that they grew on.

"In spring, this hill is a prettiest hill in the Green Packlands." I told Harvey, "The trees on it would be covered in red flowers, and pink flowers, and yellow flowers. But at least half the trees would be red. And you'd just be able to see the stream, like a magic silver thread weaved into the trees."

If we build the Princess Town over it, then we would lose our prettiest hill, wouldn't we?

But that seemed childish to say out loud now. I mean, all the plans were made. And from what I've heard at the meeting, the plans and survey costs sounded super expensive.

And it was my idea in the first place, all that town building. And I had been super happy about getting that hill. It was my favourite one because it was so special.

Wasn't it ironic that I was about to destroy it?

"Perhaps Ki might be able to address your concerns, Princess." Harvey suggested after a moment.

I think he had given up trying to decipher what I was saying. I had to admit, I wasn't making any sense to me either.

I got up, "I'm going to go downstairs for a bit. Thanks for showing me the plans, Harvey."

"Understood, Alpha." Harvey stood up and with a quick bow, opened the door for me.

The moment I stepped out of my office, Ben was ready to join me. He followed me to the lift, getting the door and pressing the lift door.

"Where's Sam going?" Zara asked from behind the closed door.

Harvey answered smoothly, "I believe she is needed downstairs for a while."

"That girl, she's always running off and disappearing." Zara scolded.

"Looks like she does that at home too." Marcus added with a chuckle.

"Well, she's busy. It can't be helped." Henry shrugged. He looked at the girls' blank faces, "What? She is the future alpha you know."

"What do alphas do anyway?" Zara asked.

"How do I explain it in human terms?" Henry thought aloud, "Well, it's like the Alpha is the king of a land. He has to rule it and lead it so that it would be properous and safe. It's long stressful hours of meetings, studying reports, and making important decisions that would affect not just the lives of his pack, but many times the surrounding communities and more often than not, the future generations to come."

"That's Sam?" Asked Abigail.

"No, that'll be Sam's dad." Henry explained.

"Duh, that makes Sam the Princess" Krystal said, "How is that hard work?"

"I think being a princess could be pretty stressful too." Jasmine said.

"Sam's more like the crown prince here." Henry said, "Like me. We have to study and train everyday. When we come of age we need to prove ourselves the strongest fighter in the pack and the most worthy to succeed the crown and lead the pack."

"But Sam's a girl!" Leia protested, "You can't make a girl fight!"

"She might die or worse, get disfigured!" Zara protested.

And then the lift door opened and closed, and I had no idea what happened after that.

But Henry's words were still playing in my head. I wasn't training and studying everyday... at least I don't remember my life like that. Was I not doing enough? I didn't feel I dared to make life changing decisions for anyone, much less the future generations.

I pressed the button for the third floor, and then headed straight to my Dad's office.

Ben knocked on the door for me. I pushed it open without waiting.

"Alpha Sam is here." Ben announced, "Pardon for the intrusion."

Ben was on good beta mode. I guess Harvey's lecture was taking effect.

Dad and Beta Lucas looked up from Dad's desk.

"I just needed to use your window." I said going over to his bay window.

Dad frowned, "Did you have another argument with your mum?"

I shook my head.

"Fight in school? Failed a project? Messed up a presentation?" Now Dad was just rattling off all my life's greatest failures.

"Ah, is Martha cleaning the house?" Then Dad frowned, "But it's a Saturday..."

"Sam... Your friends from school are visiting now. Could something have happened with your friends?" Beta Lucas guessed.

Dad nodded gravely, "Sam, whatever it is, I'm sure you can work it out something with them in a peaceful way."

I'm not sure why Dad thought the last part was important to stress.

"Had you ever thought you were doing something really great and then after that you realised the great thing you're doing was going to sacrifice something else that was great?" I blurted out.

And now I knew why my Dad and Beta Lucas made those guesses. This was not the first time I came to Dad's office and sat by the bay window because I was troubled or confused. I don't know, Dad just always knew the zen thing to say.

But I hadn't meant to ask for zen advice today. I had just wanted to look out the window. From Dad's window, you could see just the top of my hill (since I've just signed the papers for them) popping out from behind the forest with its friends. The prettiest hill, although you couldn't see it that now because it's winter. All the hills looked the same in winter.

I just wanted to look at it again before I killed it, or worse, disfigured it.

I don't think I was ready to make decisions that would affect my pack, the communities around us, and our future generation, who would no longer have a prettiest hill.

I used to sit here and watch the prettiest hill in spring. It seemed unfair that it's got all the good trees, but I didn't care because I decided I loved it the most.

"Sometimes..." My Dad finally answered, "really great things require really great sacrifices."

"No!" I flared up at that, "No one is allowed to cut down the red trees!"

"What?" Dad looked confused.

"I won't build Princess Town on top of the red trees." I said.

Dad took a while but he figured out what I was referring to, "Those trees cover half the hill, cutting down some wouldn't destroy them all."

"No! I protest!" I objected, "And we can't dam the stream either! The rest of the trees will die!"

"Sam, you're protesting against the construction of the town you founded?" Ben looked unnecessarily amused.

His dad looked far less amused, "This is serious, Sam. We're already beginning construction of the roadworks towards the new town."

Grrrr....

"I see." Dad looked gravely out of the window, "But you know, one day you'd be here looking out of this same window, and you would see not just the red top of the hill, but just a bit of the town that you've built peeking out from it. And you would be able to know that it is the home for hundreds of wolves who had found a second chance to live a free pack life again. Wouldn't that be worth it?"

I looked. I couldn't even see the frozen stream now. I remembered seeing Gate City, and the silver of the train as it ran across the bridge. Princess Town would be just as far away, about 30 minutes drive out.

"Sam, there is a cost to everything." Dad told me, "Nothing in life is free. If it were, you can be sure that something or someone had paid for it in your place."

Like the trees, and the streams, and all the creatures in it. It's just trees and some common woodland creatures, right? We weren't killing all of them, just what we needed. I mean, we were already spending more to build the town upwards to reduce the impact on the forest.

And if I remembered Ki's house tour right, the prefabricated building parts were all made from sustainably obtained material, just like our home. In fact, I was quite sure, our Alpha house was the test bed for all the eco friendly features planned for the Princess Town.

So it's okay, right? If that's okay, then why don't I feel happy about it at all?

"Don't mind me. I'm just going to go sulk in my clamshell now." I informed Dad. I got up and left, Ben quickly opening the door and bowing himself out.

Beta Lucas opened his mouth to say something but Dad lifted his hand, effectively silencing him, "Let her go. It's something she will figure out on her own."

Dad's zenness mystified and baffled me all the time, and every now and then it annoyed me too.

I had no idea what Dad was eluding to, I hadn't even known there was something I needed to figure out here. I was really just going to sulk in my room, maybe take a shower and wash it off.

I mean, Dad was right. We weren't killing all the trees. The princess town was a beautiful town. And it would be a home for so many wolves. I thought of Seven's pack that was forced to live underground for so long, all the fightdogs, and well, I didn't know that many slave Lycans personally, but I'm sure a new home, a fresh start, a chance to live in freedom, to love, to laugh, to run in a pack... All these things I've often taken for granted were the things I really needed.

Shouldn't all wolves have the same chance to live safely and freely too?

This Princess Town... I can't stop it's construction just for some personal sentiment about trees right?

Grrr...

Actually, I still want the Princess Town. But I also want the trees and stream. I don't want to sacrifice one thing for another. I want it all.

Ben left me in my room, but not before reminding me about dinner with my family and friends and the party straight after.

Okay.

Now alone I climbed up on the lemon tinted sheets of my golden clamshell. I looked at the outfit I needed to change into.

But I didn't feel like partying. Henry's words still troubled me. Was it that hard to be an Alpha? Was I not working hard enough? Everyone was working on the Princess Town while I worried about the trees.

And was I ready to make life changing decisions on behalf of the pack? No. No way ever.

Why was I the crowned prince? Where was Mate? Wait, did that make Bell my princess?

Hahahahaha.

Bell was not the sweet and kind princess in Disney movies. Actually, there was nothing princessy about Bell at all. He wasn't Prince Charming either... even if he looked like it.

He was Prince Grouchy Dumbbell.