SIR SPARKLALOT'S FIRST MEETING WAS EMBARESSING

We made it to the conference room without passing a single other person, which was quite a feat. Usually, there would be office staff, or Deltas coming in with admin, but I guess it was after office hours. We had also increased the security, but I guess they wouldn't be patrolling low risk areas that frequently. Beta Lucas' office light was still on. I guess he was working late. Gamma Harry's office light was off. But he wasn't in the conference room either.

Ben and Harvey were though. They stood up the moment I entered. Killion who had held the door announced, "Alpha is here."

The other two bowed.

I almost turned around thinking Dad was there. Except I knew he wasn't. I would have sensed Dad if he were there.

Harvey pulled out a chair for me.

"So show us where the ring is." Ben cut right down to the chase.

For some reason, neither of the guys seem to register the pink fluffy unicorn sticking out of the crook of Killion's arm. At least not until Killion triumphantly plopped Sir Sparklalot on the table.

Harvey's features registered surprise and then returned to his usual calm. He simply looked resigned.

Ben was more expressive, "How is this not embaressing to carry around?"

And then he sniggered, "I bet even Sam wouldn't be caught carrying that in public."

Which was exactly why Killion had it.

Killion picked up the unicorn and stuck it under his arm, he posed with it, "The trick is to carry it confidently and indifferently. This way, it looks like you're just carrying it for someone."

Oh! Right! When Killion did it, it looked exactly like that.

"Lemme try." Ben got up and tried the unicorn on for size. Yeah, Killion was right. I would have assumed he was carrying it for Lizzy. Except no, Lizzy would not own such a pink and fluffy thing either.

Ben was squeezing Sir Sparklalot. I guess he was trying to get to the ring. He felt it and satisfied, threw the soft toy at Harvey.

Harvey caught it with a hand. He looked terribly amused, "This looks like something Haylee would like."

Really? Haylee struck me as a more goth type of girl, but how would I know?

Harvey proceeded to feel for the ring too. Squeezing poor Sir Sparklalot into unthinkable shapes, but I just watched without expression. I'm grown up after all. Grown ups had very little empathy for inanimate objects.

{Beta approaching}

{Gammas approaching}

The heavy door was thrown open by Gamma Harry with a resounding crash. He ushered Beta Gerald, Gamma Endo, Nix, and Jonah into the conference room.

Harvey let go of Sir Sparklalot.

The men looked surprised to see us.

"Sorry, did we interupt your meeting?" Gamma Harry asked.

I wondered which part of me and my three betas surrounding a table with nothing but a pink fluffy unicorn would be considered a meeting.

"Not at all." Killion smiled and answered on my behalf, "Please come in."

"What's with the the pink pony?" Nix smirked as he pulled a chair out for himself.

"Yeah, who brought the pony?" Jonah asked as he sat down.

It's a unicorn! And why was everyone looking at me? Did that look like my pony? I swear, I've never seen it before.

"It's Ki's" Ben said. He smirked.

Harvey had his usual wry smile so that I knew he was finding this amusing.

Ki picked it up and tucked it in the crook of his arm proudly, "He's a unicorn and his name is Sir Apollo Sparklalot."

I think Ki had meant to cover for me, or prove his theory about using confidence and his innate coolness to overshadow Sir Sparklalot but the name spoken aloud was ridiculous, and coming out of Ki's mouth with pink furry limbs swinging from the crook of his arm, it just sounded like a joke.

So the guys naturally laughed, even the elders, which made it all the more embarrassing for me. Suddenly Sir Apollo Sparklalot sounded like the most stupid name ever bestowed. It sounded too silly even for a pink fluffy pony.

I felt the heat go to my face and my hair flare up. Yes, for the crucial point where it would be best to crawl into a hole and hide, my hair throws itself up in the air and waves.

I could drop my head on the table and hide my overheated face.

I could run out of the room crying.

I could hide behind someone who would defend me.

I could say something sacarstic and snarky back. (Although I would have to think of one first.)

I could have, maybe I even should have. That's the problem with writing diaries, in hindsight, there were so many other options.

But since I'm already writing this, you'd know it was too late to tell me what I could have done.

What was done, was done.

Because at that moment when everyone laughed and my hair flared up and the shame burnt on my face, I did what any Alpha would naturally do...

I punched the thing closest to me, which was the conference table. There was a cracking sound very similar to when we collided into the tree as wolves just now. But it wasn't the table top.

The table leg closest to me broke, just like the tree trunks earlier today, it just splintered and broke. The table top came crashing down. They sure didn't make tables like they used to.

Then I snatched Sir Sparklalot from Ki and growled, "Nobody is allowed to laugh at Sir Sparklalot."

Everyone looked stunned.

The hole that didn't swallow me up just now should swallow me now.

Please make me disappear!

Please make me disappear!

Please make me disappear!

But I didn't disappear. Instead my dad and Beta Lucas entered.

"Alpha is here." Beta Lucas announced.

Everyone who wasn't already standing, stood up.

Dad looked at the broken conference table. The second one this year. And then he looked at me.

By now, I was pretty much close to tears. I don't know why I was so upset, if I could do it all over again, I should have just laughed it off from the beginning. What the hell was wrong with me?

But words (and stupid actions) are like arrows, once loosed cannot be called back.

I was embaressed, I was embaressed about being embaressed and over-reacting, and I was embaressed about being caught being embaressed and over-reacting. It's complicated, I know. But let me just say, I had never been so embaressed.

I mean, it was one thing to have your parent say embarrassing things to your mate or beta, or be reminded about something embarrassing you did in the distant past when you didn't know better.

But the humiliation of embaressing myself in front of all my betas and gammas and elders.... Grrr....

"What did you do now, Sam?" Dad asked tiredly.

I hugged Sir Sparklalot to my face and didn't answer for fear I would cry and embaress myself further. So much for being the cool grown up alpha...

I was ready to kill anyone who dared make any kind of comment at this point. Grrr...

Dad sighed and looked at my betas.

"We made fun of her pony." Ben said finally.

Wait no! I mean, essentially yes, BUT

Firstly, Sir Sparklalot was a unicorn (what's wrong with these boys?)

Secondly, didn't that make me sound like a brat?

"Not again, Ben." Beta Lucas muttered.

"Remember when you used permanent marker and drew tattoos on her bear?" Jonah laughed then, "Or when you called her rabbit fat?"

Ben started chuckling, "It was a fight bear."

"Honey isn't a fight bear!" My mouth spoke before my brain thought.

"Oh yeah, then how did Honey break Ben's arm?" Jonah asked.

"Ben fell off the bed on his own." I sulked, hugging Sir Sparklalot to myself.

The guys laughed.

"You get so scary, it's funny." Ben said.

I'll show them scary! How dare they push my buttons on purpose!

"Most Betas avoid triggering their Alpha, you three..." Beta Lucas shook his head

And then Dad decided to start the meeting like nothing happened. Of course there was no longer a functioning table, but Dad sat down and everyone followed suit around the broken one.

"Next time," Dad said, "Please refrain from playing in the conference room."

"The table is still under warranty." Beta Lucas informed him.

"If you don't mind sending me the contact, I'll arrange for the table to be repaired." Killion offered contritely.

Dad nodded and that was it.

It was at this moment that I realized I was still hugging Sir Sparklalot. I lowered the pink furry bundle onto my lap.

Dad was saying something about reviewing the alpha duties program so far. He wanted to know if it had been beneficial and how to make it more effective.

But the thing that struck me was how everyone had known I was a brat all this while and nobody gave a damn. Well, most of them watched me grow up. If I attacked Ben for drawing on my stuffed bear last year, logically seeing me with a pink pony this year wouldn't have been a big deal. It made me feel pretty stupid about trying to act all grown up, but in a nice way.

I mean, I might wish I were more grown up and cooler and smarter and a whole lot of other things, but the me I was right now was okay for now. It was okay to be just Sam.

But I will never take Sir Sparklalot out with me again.

And I still felt embaressed recalling the incident, so let's just forget it! Arughhhhh.... Erase this incident from my mind forever!

Let's just never speak of this again.