IF YOU CAN'T FIGHT IT, RIDE IT

"I can't believe that worked!" I said as I stepped into his cell.

Rebel caught the door before it shut behind me and locked us both in, "Why are you so stupid?"

Seriously? I came all the way here in a dream, and this was the first thing I hear him say?

But seeing him holding the door from locking us both in did make me feel a bit dumb.

I blamed it on him. His stupidity must have rubbed off on me. I crossed my arms over my chest. I don't know why I was so happy to see him just now.

Rebel grabbed the handwritten note and frowned at it as if trying to decipher it.

I watched him frown for a while and then got bored and decided to explore his cell.

"Nice crib." I joked.

"I just woke up here a couple of days back." He told me.

"What's this?" I found a bowl of dried pellets and a bottle of water, "They feed you dog food?"

"It's not much different." Rebel growled. He balled the note in his fist and threw it hard against the wall. It bounced off with a thwacking sound.

I went to fetch the paper, "They'd need this tomorrow, you know."

I tried to smoothen out the worst of the wrinkles. The little tape that was used to stick it up was now folded and stuck to itself. I sighed, how would we put it back?

Rebel seemed to have a lot on his mind. He was frowning again, "Where are they shipping me to?"

Oh, he didn't know?

"I think you're scheduled for a cage fight tour that would end you up in the Central Covens." I told him.

"How did you know that?" Rebel raised a brow at me.

"Why are you even here?" The more he asked, the madder he got.

I took out the folded magazine page to show him.

"Who the hell is Marcus?" He was almost yelling now.

What? Oh, I pulled off the post it and stuck it back in my pocket, "My friend from school."

"Did he give you the information?" Rebel was snarling now. Maybe he spent too much time in fight cages and had regressed to a rage filled beast.

"No, I got this from another friend." I told him, I unfolded it and showed it to him.

He looked at it, and looked at it... He kept looking at it.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

The planes of his face was hard, "Where did you get this?"

"I told you, my friend." I don't know why it's so hard to talk to him.

I think it might be best if we never met. All this while, I thought the prophecy was about him rejecting me as a Luna. Now I'm thinking there could be another possibility.

You know what goddess? I want to wake up from this dream. Every time I saw him, he just growled and snarled and upsetted me. I wanted to go home, this wasn't fun at all.

I guess it's never fun for him though. I sighed. I went over to inspect his food. They were round dry balls and looked a bit like cheese balls, except they were reddish brown. It looked like dog food. I bet if I could smell in my dream, they would smell like dog food too.

"Where.did.you.get.this.princess?" He minced out each word.

Why.am.I.being.interogated?

"Uh huh. A vampire." I said, "She's a girl in my class." I added so he didn't get mad again.

Why was I afraid he would get mad?

Why did I have to defend myself?

Stupid stupid mate.

Why did his anger hurt me? I didn't even think I was the one he's angry at.

And why did I cower?

I never cowered.

Part of me hated myself for being this way. For seeming stupid, for upsetting my mate all the time, for feeling like I'm just getting in his way or slowing him down, and then for being so weak in the face of his anger.

I want to go home but I can't. The dream wasn't letting me wake up. I'm upset and hurt, pacing his cell, because I am upset. I'm just really upset right now.

What the hell, I don't get upset. I get even!

But the realization only upsetted me more.

Okay, let's try this again.

I sat myself down on the thin mat next to his food bowl. I popped one in my mouth. It's crunchy. "Tastes like meat flavored cereal." I told him.

"Don't eat that!" He growled at me.

I pocketed some in response. It didn't taste good, but it was novelty.

"It's got steroids in it and goddess knows what else they put." Rebel stormed over and kicked the bowl to the other side of the room. The bowl flipped and it's contents rolled over the floor of his cell like marbles.

"I see, it's specially formulated for you?" I asked.

He growled, "I don't eat it. I am fed cooked meals three times daily."

Then he shook his head as if just remembering that he was supposed to be interrogating me, "Didn't I tell you to just wait for me? Why are you going around doing dangerous things?" He waved the folded magazine page at me like it was some kind of proof against me.

"I didn't do anything dangerous. My classmate gave it to me." I told him.

"You expect me to believe that a vampire attends school in the Green Packlands and simply gave this to you?" He was growling out all the words now, sometimes snarling them too.

His voice was deep and intense, like the kind of thunder that made it sound like the storm was approaching and it was all out to get you.

"No, I go to school at Winderhill, and I have a vampire friend, she gave it to me." I told him.

"There is no such thing as a vampire friend. Vampires are all cold blooded and sick in the head." Rebel snarled.

"Maybe the ones you meet are." I snarled back, "but my friend isn't like that. She even drinks her blood from lab produced bags."

"I told you to just stay at home and wait for me." Rebel was still not ready to move on.

"What's your problem?" I snapped back at him.

He must be the most stubborn wolf in the world. All my life, I thought my dad was bad, but Goddess, you've proved me wrong. I repent. I will never complain to you how inflexible my dad was again. From now on, you will only hear complaints about my mate.

"My problem is that there is a f****** prophecy looming over my head condemning me to end my family line and be at enmity with my own parents and pack."

"My problem is I have a pretty little princess mate who keeps popping up in my dreams when I want to be left alone."

"My problem is that there is no future, not for me, not for us, so just stay the hell away from me."

He was shouting, his breath heaving, his arms gesturing aggressively, but it was the understanding of his words that stabbed me in the guts, "You never meant to come back for me, did you?"

Something wet on my face. What was it? Rain was falling out of my eyes?

He was growling lowly. His body tensed.

Stupid stupid mate.

Actually, I don't know what the hell's wrong with us. Every time we dream, I wake up angry and after that regretful.

I would think to myself, I will handle it better next time.

Now I wonder if this was the last time I would see him.

The tears would not stop.

Stupid stupid mate.

He punched the wall. I think it was made of reinforced steel because of the sound, and also the sound of his knuckles busting on impact.

Why did I still care that his hand is hurting?

"I was at home waiting." I whispered between my knees, I was now sitting on his mat, curled up with my knees to my chin, "I wasn't purposely looking for you. I was helping Alpha James and Luna Edith find their lost son. I only realized today that you were the same person."

He didn't say anything. I could hear his ragged breaths.

"Your parents, they want you home safe. Even if you bring an army against them, they have been worrying about you. Luna Edith's eyes won't stay dry."

I paused. Rebel was standing on the other side of the cell, his forehead leaning against the wall. There was a patch of red where he had punched next to him. I knew he could hear me, and he might just get even madder if I said anymore, but I won't give up.

"I know about the prophecy, but I'm not going to let it take you away. I will be Alpha soon. And even if you can't take a Luna, I can."

I froze, waiting for him to make those ugly snarling sounds.

"Who are you and why do you care?" He spoke quietly to the wall. his voice sounded hollow and echoey.

Was he crying? Oh goddess.

I made a grown man cry. Specifically, I made my mate cry. And my heart felt squeezed.

I didn't know how to answer him. Why did I care? He was right, it was none of my business.

"You're right. It was none of my business... I... I just...When I saw your parents' tears, I couldn't leave them alone." I told him finally.

"My old man?" He made a short bitter laugh, "He has no tears."

"Your dad is looking for you." I told Rebel, "We were discussing plans to rescue you just yesterday." (I only got the the meeting at the end of it though.)

He was silent for a long time.

"How do you know this?" He asked me. Why? Rebel seemed to always be questioning me. Was I so untrustworthy to him?

"You're fighting against the wrong people." I told him at last. "You are called Rebel, but can't you choose what to rebel against? Why does the prophecy have to control you?"

"Do you think it's so easy to break my curse, princess?" Rebel turned to me again, his eyes bloodshot, but he was wearing his angry face again.

Stupid mate. I hate it when he showed me that face. Fine! Just stay here in your fight cages. Stupid stupid stupid.

"I'm working at it. I told you, I will be Alpha. You will be my Luna. We'll work the rest out as we come it it." I looked him straight in the eye, "I don't think it's so easy. I work hard at it every single day. I was still working when I fell asleep. It's hard. Everyday is hard."

"I'd rather die than be a Luna." Mate muttered to himself.

Was that a rejection?

And then he knelt down in front of me, "Don't cry princess."

Eh, was I crying? Again? Sigh, I must be more susceptible to tears when I'm dreaming.

"Don't cry and don't do anything stupid. Just wait for me." He told me.

"Don't lie." I growled back.

"I promise." He said, his large warm hand on my head. I really am a child to be so quickly comforted by him, "I'll come back for you."

Why did I believe him so easily when he had to clarify everything I say?

"And tell my parents not to bother. I don't need their help." Rebel was back as the bossy stupid dumbbell again.

"I'm not going to be a Luna." He told me, "I'm the Alpha."

"Maybe we can both be Alphas?" I asked.

"Don't be stupid." He made an impatient sound, "Just wait for me, I'll take care of everything."

"Oh right, like now you want to take care of everything?" I grumbled.

"Well now I have a reason to fight." He told me. He used the back of one finger to wipe a stray tear from my cheek.

"Stupid." I said. Oh wait, I covered my mouth with both hands, did I just ruin a romantic moment?

Arugh! I'm so bad at this kind of thing.

Actually, looking at Rebel, he didn't look entirely comfortable with this kind of thing either. He didn't even seem to noticed I just called him stupid.

We both looked on the ground for what felt like a long time.

"There is going to be a war in our packland." I told him, changing the topic to what I was more comfortable with.

"Maybe you can go bring your army back and help us." I suggested, "Turn the prophecy around on its head."

"Why not?" Rebel shrugged, "It's about time I get pay back..."and then he narrowed his eyes at me suddenly, "How do you know about the army?"

Sigh. My mate was... how should I put this? I think my mate had trust issues.

Actually, my mate had a lot of issues.

But given what he had probably been through, he actually turned out pretty well.

(He's definitely not bad to look at - but I didn't just say that).

I looked down and studied the hem of my t-shirt.

"Princess..." He growled his warning.

"I think the goddess accidentally showed me your dream." I admitted, "I saw the army... They even had your emblem painted on the banners..."

His mouth fell open, then he growled, "That's not my emblem, it's a damned marketing gimmick!"

"Well, if the vamps paid good money for designers to make that for you, no need to look the gift horse in the mouth." I argued.

And then I told him, "We don't have to fight every tide. Sometimes they can give us a free ride."

"It's when you say these things that I worry someone will have an easy time kidnapping you." Rebel grumbled.

And then he said quietly, "I'm told the goddess doesn't make mistakes."

"Well, then she's got a lot of explaining to do." I didn't miss a beat.

He laughed then. Softly, it rumbled, almost as if by accident. The sound like a wave crashing on a faraway cliff. I could sit and listen to it forever. But it was over the moment I heard it.

Stingy.

For no reason whatsoever, my heart would pick up all these little nuances about my mate and store it like treasure... Or actually, more like a rabid squirrel storing it's acorns.

"So princess..." Rebel was flipping the piece of magazine paper front to back to front again, "What do I do about this?"

"If you can't fight it, ride it!" I decided.

"Yeah? So I should ride this out?" He looked like he was actually considering it.

"I don't know, I was talking about me." I said tongue in cheek, "That's how I'm going to deal with you."

Rebel blinked, and then emitted a low growl which he quickly stopped.

Then he shook his head despairing, "What am I going to do with you, Princess?"

If I got a penny every time someone told me that... I would have many pennies. Actually even if I've been told that a hundred times, I would only get a dollar. I should be charging a dollar at least. If I got a dollar every time someone told me that... I would have some good shopping money.