A BOUT OF EMO

Would it be terribly silly of me if I admitted that I was currently trapped in my own room because Wolfgang and Fluffy were outside. To make matters worse, it seemed like Ben was back too. And Harvey... I could sense my betas just on the other side of my room.

It's a Saturday afternoon and the beginning of the Spring Term Break. BUT if I left my room, it would be the beginning of a lesson on ancient Lycan script (Wolfgang and Fluffy), some kind of Alpha admin work or decision (Harvey), or... Actually, I had no idea why Ben came back.

I dropped back to my window and gazed out at the fine blue spring sky. I used to do this as a child, just building cloud castles in my mind wishing to be out on some kind of grand adventure instead of grounded in my room.

I had my share of grounding in my life, not more than Ben, that would be a hard record to break, but my parents were the old fashioned kind who would ground their pup on a weekend to make a point. The severity of the point would correspond to the length of the grounding, where I would always be grounded just long enough for me to forget what the point was.

Like I would remember that I had been grounded, like I remember I was grounded for three days this year. But if anyone asked, "What were you in for?"

I forgot.

I only remembered the exhilaration of being free! The heady feeling of, "Oh my gosh, I just got out and I'm sure this is going to ground me all over again."

I can't say I ever really learned my lesson. If I did, shouldn't I at least have thought, "This is gonna get me grounded for at least 3 days - better schedule it on a Monday." At least that way, I would still be free on the weekends to play outside, but no. It had never occured to me to schedule my mischief.

It had also just occured to me that all that grounding never made me actually stop myself from getting into trouble. Most of the time, it wouldn't even occur to me until the aftermath.

And even if it did occur to me, in the rare moments I thought before I leapt, it wouldn't so much as deter me than cause me to think, "This better be worth it."

I'd always make it worth it. I wasn't stupid.

So I'm sorry parents, all these years of grounding me, and I was still running into trouble. Just that it was more serious trouble now. Like sending River into the warlock forest... the warlock forest had not been my best friend.

Maybe the goddess knew that just the tropical jungle was punishment enough. For all the trouble I had gotten into this year, I was only grounded once.

I honestly can't remember why. Like I was sure i should've been grounded for punching Jude when we first met, or planning to smuggle River and the ring into the warlock forest... But I was praised for my successful war mission, and Jude was now public enemy #1 so no love lost there.

Could it be? I did something worse than fast forwarding the warlock's doom and our pack's war?

Advertised now as the hastening of our era of peace, but you and I know that things could've played out quite differently. I was just winging it. I was just lucky. I was just running with amazing wolves who pretty much tide us all over.

I mean, take potbellied Gamma Harry for example, he might not also show well at stuffy meetings, and he didn't pounce into the scene that TADA, but he was the one who really led the warriors and cleaned up the scene at the Asphalt Moon Pack. That guy could clean up rogues like he did his sandwiches! Two bites. That was all he needed.

Could it be that I hadn't changed at all? I mean, I was sure I had changed completely, but here I was looking out of the window, pseudo-grounded... I realized at this moment that my windows were really glass sliding doors and let myself out.

The spring air was quite lovely. Spring was my favorite time of the year. Okay, I probably said this about every season when it starts. But I liked all the seasons for different reasons. Spring was the fresh smells, the new greens, my birthday coming round the corner. Mum would attempt to inspire/nag/force Savy and me to spring clean our bedrooms, and the warriors start training in earnest. They had 6 solid months to the Warrior Ranking Competitions.

Hank had said this was the comfortable runway to get himself to peak condition for the Ranking and Hank would know what he was talking about. He had been ranked #1 for the last 3 consecutive years - maybe 4, I had never counted seriously.

Spring was the season of waking up and dusting off the sleeping dreams and trying again.

Spring was about the time I find my New Year's resolution, abandoned diary, and realized that I had forgotten all about them. Usually, it was also around this time I received my Term 1 results. The combined failure would make me decide to wipe the slate clean and start over.

I did really badly in Middle School career. Not just for Term 1, but also for Term 2 to graduation. It was bad enough that Dad had to buy assessment books and sit me down on the evenings he was home to practice for the high school entry exams.

I pretty much aced Winderhill's entrance exam because of that. I didn't take any other entrance exam. Dad had chosen Winderhill High. Just Winderhill High. It was do or die. Not that the bar was set too high.

Honestly, I wanted to go to New Leaf, I was upset about Dad's decision, but it's not like I ever fought for my right to take the entrance exam. At the back of my mind, I was worried about failing it.

I mean, what would everyone say? That Alpha Kingsley's daughter failed to get into the school he founded? The school that all the other pups in the pack attended?

But in my defense, my friends didn't have to take an entrance exam. They got a place because it was a through train school from K up. I started at New Leaf Kindergarten too. Why couldn't I have stayed?

I never understood my Dad's mind. I returned to the lemon-scented warmth of my room.

I picked up my result slip in its clear file with the rest of the documents. Well, it would be a long time before I'll ever bring home a result slip as perfect as this one.

I put it back down on my dresser. Might as well enjoy it for a day because it looked like I was about to start all over again in a week's time.

In one week, I would be exactly where I was at the start of my diary. (May I just congratulate myself for my longest diary writing streak! Go me!)

In one week, I would be putting on a new uniform and looking forward to starting highschool… all over again.

I heard a sigh escape my lips as I thought about it. I didn't really want to start all over again. I was doing good here - more than good.

Was it wrong of me to wonder what would have happened if I had stayed at Winderhill? Would I really get to be one of the school's official host? Eventually, the captain of the Archery Team? Maybe the Vice-Captain like Priya?

Would I get cooler by my senior year? Would I be part of the student council? Of course, I was imagining it with Henry and Marcus still around too. In reality, they had moved on too. River and Keanu wouldn't be at Archery Club. Jules, Matt, and Bra were graduating this year. I would be sitting the train home alone - not that I could sit the train home again, not if I didn't want my location reported across social media channels continent wide. My last attempt proved that.

Even Madam Principal was to be replaced. Who else would magically appear to ease the tension at the first sign of a fight breaking out? Who else would be able to handle old vampire sires or old fussy alphas? Who else would be able to use their personal connections to secure additional security around the school?

Vampires, hunters, underground rogue gangs... Winderhill was a hot mess about to overboil, and Winderhill High was right in the middle of it. I mean, I should've been clued in from our first day when we were briefed during our orientation to always wear our uniforms when coming to or leaving the school for our own safety.

Winderhill High School was a very special school. Our uniforms had the power to repel danger - not so much because of any magic, but it was a kind of real world magic - the unseen power of political agreements, carefully manipulated in the manicured hands of Madam Principal.

I wondered what Madam Principal ever saw in Winderhill High. It was more than a century old, and it looked it too, not entirely in a good way.

But I will miss walking my vampire friend down the corridors that looked just like our new detention facilities in the Packhouse basement, only more scuffed and pockmarked with traces of old tape, blue tack, and the stubborn shadow of graffiti.

I would miss the dense grease in the cafeteria air that would cling on clothes and hair, marking every student who entered.

I might even miss the paparazzi camp outside the gate... No, not really.

But I was missing Winderhill High more than I'd like to admit.

It would seem that once again, my slate will be wiped clean. Although I kind of wished it did this time, I would have to start high school all over again.

I'd be joining the Lorent Girls School mid term - fancy private schools like the Lorent Girls' School didn't follow the calendar year like the rest of the modern mortal world.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. My first and last encounter with a bunch of Lorent princesses on 16th Street didn't go great. Unless I had Ki attached to my hip, I doubt I'd survive school if all the girls were as huffy as Oprah's friends...

Well, I wasn't going to lose to them! I will be even more Lorent than they were!

So what if they were fancy princesses? I was the ALPHA PRINCESS! That made me the top dog right?

Why was I even moping in my room? Where's my new uniform? I had to make sure the skirt was right! Where was Ki?

Outside. Right. This was about the time I realized while I was emo-ing over my report slip and pep-talking myself to take on the Lorent Girls' School, outside on my bedroom landing, there seemed to be gathered an increasing number of wolves. All mine, and all just on the third-floor landing.

I stopped just before flinging the door open to demand a dress fitting for my new high school (see how I could be so Lorent too?).

And then I turned the knob and more carefully pushed the door open.

"What's going on?" I asked the crowd outside.