Chapter 6 - The Abyss

Und wenn du lange in einen Abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in dich hinein.

6 Duskar 499 CE

Dear diary

Today I did something regretful.

I could not sleep soundly last night. I had only closed my eyes, but my mind was still in unease. I overheard both of the men's conversation while they were on watch. Though I had lost the details of the discussion, I understood the gist of it. Magna and Lody swore to be allies even if Magna was not truthful about his origins. Magna spoke of his visions, about his origins, but from the tone of Lody's voice, he picked up on Magna's half-truths. However, what shocks me most, is that Lody dreamt the same dream as me. Mytros on fire, and his home in ruins. It almost jolted me up to wakefulness, but as usual, I feigned my own body language. Again I told lies to all of them.

Not long after that conversation, they both went to sleep, but not before waking Fauna up. Fauna 'woke' me up, but I was up before she could touch me. She seems to enjoy reading, despite being one of the forestfolk. I had the surface assumption that they could not read, or at least, did not enjoy reading. The book was title "Observations" by Mumei. Huh, that name again. I inquired about her age, perhaps she is wiser than I think. She says she's old, but not as old as to have existed before the First War. Perhaps I could learn a thing or two from her.

I leaned closer and inquired further about the book. My expectations were too high it seemed. I assumed a book with such short title would contain something more than just random trivia and information about the world. It's nothing more than a scrapbook if we only look at the content. However, the handwriting is most elegant. More elegant than mine, and I thought I was the best in the academy. How could someone of this stature be not known? How have I not seen this Mumei in the academy, hell, in the whole city? I had my doubts, but the chance of her being her, is nonzero.

Fauna asked about how humans could survive without the blessings of nature. Naturally, with logic of course. We survived through will and intelligence. Using whatever we could to survive and recreate throughout the ages. When the first man washed up ashore, his and his compatriots' lives were miserable, but they managed, and even thrived. Until they thrived a little too much, and the natives got jealous. Thus the First War was declared.

I asked about what Fauna thinks of the war. She thinks that it is pointless and stupid. And that coexistence is a real possibility through her friendship with a humanoid, Mumei. That if we could just not fight, all will be well. How naive.

Whilst I agree with her to the fullest extent, that is not objective reality. That is now what we saw back at the Sour Vintage. We did not see centaurs and dryads in jovial atmosphere drinking with their fellow mortals, the humans. We saw blood and corpses. Heads and limbs. She does not realize what she's capable of. What we are all capable of. I told her the reality of things, that when push comes to shove, even heroes will kill. When Aetala is on knifepoint, choked by a forestfolk, Magna will not hesitate. When Lody see that his hometown destroyed by the gigantomachia, he will call the rage of the Five to smite and annihilate. When Fauna saw that a human threatens the life of her beloved Mumei, the wrath of nature will descend upon that human. Realistically we'll all kill and destroy, if it means just the barest of chance we could protect what we hold dear. It's an ironic reality.

And that's why I told her my secret. I told of her that I was the heir to the throne of Mytros. That I was the last of the bloodline of the dragonlords. That my name is not really Victoria Reiss. That my birthname was Cora Nikandrea Mytrenai Metaxas. I told her if this peace thing does not work out, and that we must choose a side, I will not hesitate to ride atop my dragon and descend and rain fire upon her forest. And I told her to not hesitate to destroy the place I call home. That we will harbor no feelings of hatred upon one another. It's just war.

She did not take kindly upon those words. That I dare have even the thought to burn those dear to her. She did not spare a thought that she would do the same, she were in my place. She would burn civilization to the ground if mother nature wills it. So, is it not the same? How is that not hypocrisy? I thought of her too highly, wisdom does not come with age, it seems. She has much to learn about the nature of sentient beings. About our tendencies to hatred and violence. About the reality of intelligence, the double edged sword.

She sulked in the corner, perhaps she thought all humans are the same as her precious Mumei. That we're all just curious and playful, joyous and adventurous, docile and harmless. She has much to learn about our capabilities to destroy each other in extremely efficient manners.

She has much to suffer.