Silent Night

I truly never liked Christmas.

It was always a gathering of people who never really liked each other but were will to pretend.

Pretend like there's something other than themselves they want to defend. Unwilling to admit to the fallacies in their "truths". But quick to pretend we are the ones who truly uncouth.

Uncouth because we don't want to live a life that isn't true. We don't want to live a life dyed in a single color hue. We want to experience the vibrance of life unworried about the reaping of deaths scythe, but the world we live in provides nothing but strife.

Aggression and depression maxing out. Suicidal Tendencies rising with my doubt. As the snow falls it drowns shout. Cries of pain looking for a release only to be trapped back inside and seeped out through gritted teeth.

The memories fly by me as time is always fleeting, but the pain and scars seem fresh as if I had just gotten a beating. Looking at myself I wonder where I lost my passion. Looking at myself I wonder what it is I'm trying to ration.

The cold touched me in ways my family never could. Frigidness and the desire to wind was my hood. Blowing my way through anyone and anything I thought I would never fail, until I realized that the one behind me could always furl my sails.

The waves crash on a new land but the cold front is still encroaching. And despite the new land the same emotions are still approaching.

No longer do the words sing to me as they one did. I wish I could rediscover that spark I had as a kid.