The Passion Needed to Break Through

Beulus' POV:

"How do I feel about Quis? Well, that's easy. I hate his guts."

Ok, well, at least I confirmed it. I think I understand what's happening here. For her, Quis is someone she hates, and because of that hatred, she became attached to him. It was like how in a revenge plot the main character of the novel gets their revenge but realizes it was the person they got revenge on that gave them meaning in the first place. That type of basic trope was simple to understand, this should be easy to deal with then. She would be much easier to help than Quis.

"So... if I'm piecing this together correctly, you hated Quis and wanted to beat him up because of it, but now that he's gone you find yourself without motivation any longer?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "Pretty much. It's pathetic, isn't it? To decide that someone is your mortal enemy, but then you figure out that this same mortal enemy was actually important to you when they are gone."

I thought about it more. I've never had someone I could consider an enemy, so I don't know what she's going through whatsoever. And this isn't just some dumb teenage rivalry, Quis was deeply involved with the death of her friend, so she has reason to truly hate him. So to suddenly realize that this bitter hatred actually became something more like rivalry... I bet she's filled with spite at both him and herself.

I was about to say something, something to try and cheer her up, or maybe change her view on the matter, but then I stopped myself. How was this different than the time I tried beating Quis up verbally? Back then I was only trying to help him, but I only pushed my philosophy down his throat. Everyone has different walks of life, so how is it fair for me to judge her when I know nothing about her past?

I opened my mouth again, and this time words spilled out, "Iusus, I have another question for you. I honestly don't just want to berate you with empty words, so please, could you tell me anything in your past that you would consider traumatic?" Right as I said that, I knew I made a mistake. God, I'm such an oaf with words. Did I really just ask someone who was already going through a rough time to relive their traumas? If she throws that beer into my face, I will only be able to accept it.

Her pupils suddenly shrunk and she had that look that said she was visiting abhorrent memories. She suddenly left that state of mind and ground her teeth and me, but surprisingly she calmed down, took a deep breath, and answered my idiotic question, "Well, if it helps me get out of here sooner, I'll just say it. I was around 9 years old when that Wild Beast tide hit our sect, you know, the Shadow Lions? Well, it just so happens that my house was closer to the edge of the jungle than others, and our house was one of the first attacked, by the Iron Class lion too. My dad, mom, and I were able to escape, but my brother wasn't as lucky."

She took a sip of her beer and then ran her fingertip over the circular rim of the glass as she continued.

"But, as if to rub salt in those wounds, it wasn't even a year later that my dad was accused of being a devil and executed. From then on it was only my mom and I, and my mom doesn't like me too much. So I was only able to find refuge with Pulchra, the only other person who really understood me. And well, you already know what happened with that. And then the only goal I had, that being beating the shit out of Quis, went up in smoke just a year ago."

She got up from her seat suddenly, I could tell that her anger was growing with every passing second, and with clenched teeth said, "Can I go now? I've answered your questions."

I got up from my seat and put my hand and her shoulder to stop her from leaving suddenly, "Wait, I'm sorry for asking such an insensitive question, but I really do want to help you-"

She swiped my hand off of her shoulder, turned around, and gnarled at me, "This is the problem with people. They always try and shove their noses into other people's business for no reason. I don't know you, and you don't know me. So just let me figure out my stuff on my own."

Ah, I'm such a mess. Maybe she's right. Maybe I should just let this go. The last time I did this I was only able to verbally abuse Quis. Instead of helping him as I wanted to, I only ended up confirming his beliefs. I mean, what was wrong with his thoughts? He thought like how he did because of the way life treated him, so why was I always so self-righteous, always acting like what I knew was best? I'm a middle-aged man who never had an ounce of success or trauma in his entire life. I had no reason or means to try and convince others of what I think.

I determined myself as I watched Iusus walk away with anger under her feet. I had no reason to do this in the first place. Whenever I try to help others feel better, it only ends badly, so I'll just let her it figure out herself.

I watched her as she stopped stomping on each step, instead walking more normally. And then this normal walk turned into sort of a dejected walk. I suddenly opened my mouth, wanting to say something, but then I shut it promptly. There was no reason Beulus. Keep your mouth shut and just let things figure themself out.

But still... as I watched her slowly open the doors to exit the bar... I couldn't help but have an incredible sinking feeling in my gut. Like something terrible would happen if I didn't act.

She took one step outside, and just as she was about to take the next, I yelled, "WAIT!!!"

As my voice reverberated through the empty bar, she stopped moving and turned to me, with a stern look on her face. I was currently beating myself up, mentally of course. I just did the dumbest thing I could've... but, I don't regret it. Maybe it will just end up like it did when I tried to help Quis, but that doesn't mean there is a chance that it won't. I just need to choose my words carefully, and more importantly, I need to make sure the ones I choose come from the depth of my heart with complete honesty behind them.

And it wasn't like I could back out now, so I walked up to the frozen Iusus and said, "Iusus. You don't have to let the past drag you down. You don't have to let something as stupid as a "purpose" drive you."

She stomped her foot down as I said this and yelled, "What do you know?! Has your friend been killed? Has your dad been the victim of a political scheme?! Have you watched your brother be torn apart by a Wild Beast?!"

I took a deep breath and came to a realization. I haven't changed at all. It's the same as when I tried to reason with Quis. Yes, Iusus is a different person, and I understand different people react to different types of chat, but that wasn't the point here. The way of thinking and talking with logic and reason was pure stupidity for something like this. This was something different. I had to show her. I had to show her what I truly want. Only then will she listen to reason.

I calmed myself down and said with a straight face, "No. I haven't. I haven't had a single horrible thing happen to me in my entire life."

She was seething with anger at this point and didn't hold back her shouts, "So then why do you continue to butt into mine?!-"

I breathed in, and I breathed out. I put my hand on her head, and smiled from the bottom of my heart, "Because Iusus. Because I can't have you become that horrible thing. I may have not even spoken to you before today, but... that doesn't mean I can't care about how you feel. I want you to live life happily. I want you to grow up filled with contentment and surrounded by people you love. I want you to view the world positively. "Why do I", you ask? Just because..." I raised my hand off of her head and brought it over my heart, "Because that is what I want."

She looked up at me, stunned beyond belief. I was half expecting her to just turn around and leave, but instead, she only lowered her head. She then said, not looking up at me at all, "You... you are a very dumb person."

I couldn't help but laugh as I heard her say this, "Hahaha! You know, you wouldn't be the first person to say that... but I find that I would rather be dumb and help others and be smart and only look for benefits."

She rubbed her face with her arm, and then looked up at me, her eyes shining with a wonder that she didn't enter this bar with, and mumbled "So, you must have quite the idea then. Go ahead. Tell me."

___________________________________________________________________________

I rested my head on the bar counter that I rarely found myself seated at as I stared off into the distance. My glass of beer was empty and my face was flushed.

I was smashed.

"What's up Beulus. I heard you had a little run-in with one of my problem children."

Against my better judgment, I brought my head up and turned it to take a look at who had sat to my right. It was Hasrem, the only teacher I knew that would get blackout drunk when she had work the next morning. What did she say again, something about a problem child? Oh yeah, Iusus, I almost forgot about that whole thing. It was the reason I was so drunk in the first place.

"Yea, hiccup! I, I had a little, hiccup! Chat with her."

She pushed my head which had gotten too close to hers and said playfully, "She must've done a number on you for you to get this drunk this early. So, tell me, what happened?"

Does she think I can actually remember that right now? I mean I can, but she shouldn't expect a drunk man to be able to recall anything. I sighed and answered her regardless of my inner complaints, "Well, Spiravit told me that she, hiccup! Was going to attack her, hiccup! So I went ahead and tried to intervene, hiccup! But, something went wrong and we got, hiccup! Into an argument. But things luckily, hiccup! Worked out, and I was able, hiccup! To change her mind on something important. But that is the good, hiccup! News. The bad news is that she, hiccup! Has decided that I was going to be her practice, hiccup! Dummy for sneak attacks since she doesn't want to give up that skill."

Hasrem put her cheek onto her hand that flew in the air because of her elbow that rested on the table and replied, "Well, I'm happy that it worked out well. Things were rough for her ever since Quis up and disappeared. Same thing with Capcis, though I think she has taken an even harder hit. I just don't know what to do to get through to her. It's sad to see someone so young so depressed."

"You have a point there, Hasrem."

I turned to the new voice and was very surprised to see the old teacher sitting to my left. I've not seen him in the bar once in my entire life, so this was something new. Hasrem seemed equally surprised and was in the right mental space to ask him, "What brings you here old man? I didn't think you knew that other building besides the school existed?"

"Oho, one for jokes are we? Well, I actually used to come here often in my youth. But then I found a passion in the Magic Arts, and I pursued that so heavily that I did not make time for alcohol. But this time is different. I feel as though I need some good whiskey to take the edge off. Quis going missing has thrown me for quite the loop."

Him too huh? I guess Quis had more connections than I thought. It was Quis though, so I can understand. It was pretty saddening to see such a promising young man suddenly go missing for over a month. Makes you wonder if he's actually dead or something. But, knowing him, I doubt it.

Hasrem responded to the old man's in a similar sentiment, "Yeah, you're right about that. I really liked that guy too. I do hope he hasn't gotten himself killed. Though, knowing him, I seriously doubt that." She shared my thoughts a little too closely.

The old man raised the shot of whiskey he just ordered and shoved it down his throat before replying, "I hear you. He was a damn smart one. In both intellect and wisdom. Sometimes I feel like he's older than me even though he's still only 16."

He was right about that. Quis was both smart and wise. I wonder what he's doing right now? Maybe he's taming a Wild Beast. He could also be killing one. Or maybe he's applying to a new sect, like the Jungle Lotus. He could also be sneaking his way out of imprisonment. But whatever he's doing, I'm sure he's doing something productive.

___________________________________________________________________________

Quis' POV:

I gulped as the large double doors in front of me were opened by one of Medisma's servants, or assistants as they called themselves. The door opened and inside the room waiting for me was Medisma sitting on a one-person, armed couch. The room was more furnished than the rest of the house boating paintings, bookshelves, pottery, and more trinkets of all manors; the only thing in common being their absolute pricy cost.

Medisma pointed to the couch that faced hers, gesturing for me to take a seat on it. I sat down on the couch that matched hers, and murmured to her, "I'm guessing you've gotten the news..."

She smiled wickedly, a smile I hadn't seen on her face since I've been here, and her true colors were revealed as she answered, "Oh, I know all about it. So it's time to start the grueling process of getting you into shape. I hope you're ready to hold up your end of the bargain Quis. As a liberty for your success at the task given, I'm going to provide you with a detailed report on each of the selected Elders."

She placed all but one folder in her hand on the glass coffee table that separated our two chairs and then waved the final folder in her hand with that same wayward smile, "This one, as I'm sure you've guessed, isn't a file on an Elder. This file contains the details of the ceremony that we will be partaking in so you can match up to Coal Class Cultivators. I will have you warned though; this process will be painful and the end result will not be convenient. So I am giving this to you in the hopes that you can prepare yourself. We begin tonight."

She got up, threw the file on top of the five others, and began to walk away. She closed the door behind her, leaving me alone in the room. Only me and the files containing the wave that my life would be following for a while longer were present. I picked one up at random and opened it, pulling out the papers inside.

"I suppose I might as well get to reading."