Chapter 1 ; Light's regret

Thought

" Talking "

" Talking in a wrong voice/ tone "

Thinking negatively

....

As the life faded from his eyes , he realized that all he sacrificed was for nothing.

That as soon as he goes to whatever hell his soul deserved the world will go back to normal .

That he paralyzed his little sister , killed his own father ...

He killed the only person he considers a friend.

Crime rates would rise again and people will slowly forget kira .

All those lives he took was for naught .

It never mattered .

Why ?

Why did he do all of that while knowing deep down that he'll die one day , and as soon as he dies he will be forgotten and all his hard work will be erased from history.

Seeing the Gods of Death laughing at him made him feel even worse .

" You really thought you were a god huh ?! "

The taunting and laughter was only silenced when the King , the leader of the death god's arrived and silenced them.

" Yagami Raito, you were a human worse than anything I've seen .

But somehow you were also the only human who managed to break someone out of the Death note' s control .

It honestly doesn't surprise me since your father has broke out of the Death note's control . "

It's voice was making his ears bleed.

It was truly horrifying.

" As punishment for your crimes will be in order and we have one for you .

For every soul you've taken you shall suffer the same fate as them , until their souls are at peace . "

Light was in shock at the severity of his punishment but he had no strength to talk , or even look up .

And then he felt hell .

....

Light woke up in pure horror and pain .

He was clutching his shirt tightly as tears escaped his eyes.

He covered his mouth and almost puked on his bed.

Wait ... My bed ?!

Light looked at his bed in shock , the pain was still there so he knew it wasn't a dream , or any sort of nightmare.

He knew that he was kira and got killed by Ryuk .

And he got to experience ... that .

He felt his heart slowly beating and started to cry.

Why did I ever do that ?!

Light never noticed the pain he sent on others.

He thought he was saving them but all he did was prevent them from suffering for their crimes , letting the victims in pain.

God of the new World my ass .

He thought as he slowly got up from the bed .

This is my bed from when I was 17... Did.. Did the Death gods sent me back in time?

He carefully checked himself in the mirror , his hair was a mess and he couldn't recognize himself .

He then saw his old self...

The tidy hair he groomed every morning , the brown suit he died in .

The wicked smile he had when killing others ...

Was I ... addicted ?

Did I enjoy killing .. Did I enjoy being a murderer ?

He looked at his reflection in horror.

" You are now back onto the starting point .. all you have to do is to obtain the Death note and we'll be the gods of the new World."

" No... "

The voice was disgusting , dirty and filled with rage .

" What ?"

" No.

I can never be the murderer I was... "

" Murderer ? !

We were saviors !

Saints who protected the weak "

" No.

We were disgusting murderers ... serial killers .. I was a murderer "

" What are you saying ?!

Have you forgotten how people loved us?!

Loved Kira !? "

" I'm not kira , I will never be kira again... I hurt thousands for a useless goal .. "

" Useless !?

Crime rates dropped all across the globe !"

" No it didn't !

I am not kira , I will not be kira... I will never be kira !!"

With rage and grief Light started to destroy kira ...

Destroy that monster who wore his face ...

Shards of glass flew across the room .

He heard mumbled screaming, but he couldn't listen at all .

Kira was laughing at him.

Taunting him with the promise of returning .

He had to stop kira from hurting them .

He had to destroy kira for good .

That was till he felt someone hold his hand.

" Light !"

Light looked at his now destroyed mirror , his hands all bloody and hurt.

" Light ! "

Kira is no more .

Kira is dead , he has died long ago .

....

It was 4 in the morning when she heard yelling from Light's room .

She couldn't hear on what it was , but it was a yell she never heard from Light before .

Then a loud crash , and then another and another.

Panicked she ran to her son's room and saw his boy punching the mirror into shards , his eyes were hazy and it was as if he had been crying all night .

" Light !!"

She ran to her son , trying to get a hold of him , but it was as if Light was in a trance .

His hands were bloody and cut .

" Light !!"

She finally managed to hold her son's hand .

It was injured as hell .

She looked at her son in worry .

What could've triggered his son like this ??

" He's gone ...

He's finally gone .."

Light was out of it , not moving at all , only looking at the shards of glass on the floor .

Light , what happened to you ?

She grabbed her first aid kit and started to bandage her son's hands.

Sayu was then running into Light's room .

" Mom are you-

Light !!"

She was in grief and shock .

Why ?

Why can't she protect her babies ?

Her children that could do no wrong .

Did she put too much pressure on her son ?

Was I a bad mother ??

Right now wasn't the time to think of that, she needed to be there for her children .

" Light it's okay .. You're okay... "

She gently pat his head and Light slowly regained his composure.

" Mom ? What... oh... "

Light hugged Sayu tightly , and Sayu hugged back.

And she didn't believe what she heard.

In the first time in years, she heard her son cry.

" I'm so sorry I was such a bad brother !"

And it broke her heart