beginning to my end (prologue)

There is still that moment lingering in my memories as fresh as new, there it is appearing even now on my knees, contemplating the darkness of the sky, shrouded by the cold of the night and with dripping fingers stained with the blood of my wrist.

°How beautiful death is° - I couldn't help but think.

And just like that, I began to remember.

It was a shimmering morning in my chambers, getting up from a busy night of whatever I used to do instead of sleeping.

First thing I spot on mi sight after opening my eyes was that damned odd black dress from my older sister, and first thing that I heard when waking up my mind yet to be cleared from dreaming was;

"Naftis, you´re going to collegue"

And so, that day passed almost as fleeing of time leaving only the confusion and some bitterness of an unavoidable outcome steering the path of my life, but surprisingly so, deep within I was more exited than regretful of the choice taken by my parents.

Like sailing ships on the ocean, this time quite literal, I crossed the sea, briefly giving wordless farewells to my family and acquaintances, but accompanied by my only friend on this trip to the capital of the empire.

And so, who would have imagined this situation? 

Bordering a death performed by my own I reminded my self of my efforts wasted on study, the hard reality of my lacking talent, the stinging pain of loving someone and loving art way much more, and of course, the cruelty of how only by death I found the beauty of the orchestated joke my life actually was.

This collegue of arts and of the talented will persist as the beginning of my end, but not as the start of mi demise. I´m rather greatful for this sublime farewell brought by the life in such a eye opening way.

°I´m even seeing the angel of death right now° - I foolishly thought in a greatful way.

However, the angel in front of me was as real as my diying body.

He was beutiful, with a white long hair covered in feathers, two pair of wings emerging from its back, one fully white, the other pair blending in the darkness instead as a shadow. 

- I´m touched by your eforts sailor, keep on navegating. - The angel said.

His dark sleepy eyes stared through mine and his hand gently caressed my cheek.

- This is only a beginning. - we both said syncrhonized.

That´s how I tried to die, but instead recieved the blessing of a god, a god I realized was a god of life and breakups although of what others claimed him to be.

°This is a god of love° - I thought to myself.

And I was right. That was a god of love, dreams, life and... death.