The L Word

No. No, no, no. Come on. I got her parents, I got her friends, and I got my parents here. We're working on the party, I pulled a ton of distraction!

He watched as Lydia went toward the door. Privacy. Outside. I am screwed. She's gonna want someone else, not her best friend. Why did I wait so long to get my parents? He follower her outside. "You wanted to talk?"

"We kind of have to," Lydia said. "You are my best friend, BJ. You've helped me so much, risked so much, and-"

"So then don't leave!" he yelled her. "You're the bestest ever, it's boring without you, you make the afterlife worth afterliving. It's going to be so completely boring if you choose Prince Vince. I can handle anything, if you just stay." Just. Stay.

"I don't have to wrap you into my business anymore," Lydia said to him, "but if I do pick someone else, you're right. I won't be able to stay with you. But? I really don't know if my presence is worth all of this."

"Yeah it is." Of course it was. "I kind of risked hell for you, Babe, why would this be a thing?"

"You risked it for my eternity of being a dead shadow," she corrected. "Not just to keep me as a roommate."

Same diff. "Prince Vince isn't going to make you happy. Don't do this." Don't do this, please don't do this. Don't do this!

There it is again. He should be miserable in some way with the thought of ending up with her, but he was only miserable when they had to talk about it. Maybe? Maybe it is. "Could you put the wedding dress back on me?" He looked confused but granted her wish. She touched the dress. "Do you think it's nice?"

"Of course it's nice," Beetlejuice said. "I juiced it up, didn't I?"

That's not what I asked. "Is it nice, on me?" Yeah. He still looked confused. "I used to live in the living world, and we saw each other every day after school. So, I really think it'll be okay. You could even hang out at the castle I bet."

"Why are doing this, Lydia?" He was using her first real name.

It made her feel worse, although she shouldn't. "I'm so confused." She walked around in the dress. "I know Prince Vince had some attraction to me, and it's better if there is mutual attraction for marriage."

"Oh." Beetlejuice looked like his whole world was falling apart. "Recent dead people kind of change with the way they feel in like the first two years so maybe something might change? Maybe this isn't such a good idea?"

You've never once whooped or drooled over my presence. Recently dead change, but you aren't recently dead. You are the best friend in the world, but that's all you can be. What kind of friend am I to make you take on all this? You've done enough for me. More than enough. She wiped away a tear. "I'm sorry."

"Nah." Beetlejuice looked terrible. Of course he did, he probably felt in second place again.

"I promise, I can take a couple of hours a day just to come see you, just like I always did. I'll get it put in the marriage," she agreed. "Everyday. Different home, but same friend."

Beetlejuice stuck his hands in his pant pockets. "I did a lot for you. I bet you've got that goody two shoe feeling of guilt for me doing all that. So, dragging me down by making me of all ghosts raise a kid, sweet Lydia just can't do that. Add in your dad that is repulsed by me, your mom that is way too jazzed about you being royalty, and . . . I'm just not an option, huh?"

"Beej'."

"Shower?" he asked. "I'll . . . I used to when I lived with my parents. I could. I could brush my teeth. Fix my hair?"

No, no, now he was feeling belittled. "No, BJ, don't ever change a thing about you. I've always liked you for you."

"You like me for me, but you don't love me for me!" he yelled at her. "And it sucks! And you're new to death attraction, and I think this is all a really bad idea. I should just knock off the last Jennings so you don't do this."

"No!" No. "You'd go to hell, I don't want that." She ran straight toward him. "Don't do that, please."

"Boy. You know, I lived a long time in the afterlife," Beetlejuice said oddly. "A real long time, but really, it was just one day. One day with one agreement. One day of agreeing to help Prince Vince get you! If he didn't know you then, he wouldn't be an option now. I knew it." He started to walk backwards. "I knew it the day I made that mistake it'd haunt me again, and it did." He pushed her away gently. "You'd rather be Princess Lydia in a nice, clean, expensive castle with someone who's got a good reputation instead of this green scum filled pile before you."

What? "No, I don't! It's just-" She watched him disappear. Not like he usually does, it didn't feel right at all. There was also a ring of fire and the smell of burning from where he was at. "Beetlejuice?" No, it couldn't be. He never went back again! It couldn't be. Oh no. Miss Second Chance said Mayor Maynot wanted to use my feelings against him, but there's no way this was enough! "Beetlejuice!"

She watched as Miss Second Chance appeared before her. "Beetlejuice has been sentenced."

"But Beetlejuice didn't do anything!"

"Something just pushed him past the last of the thin edge he had."

"No!" Lydia leaned over into the burnt pile. He couldn't just leave to hell, he couldn't! She dug into the dirt. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" She said it over and over. The dirt stung her eyes along with her tears, but she kept digging anyhow.

"He's in his eternity. You don't have nearly the juice he did. It's over, Lydia Deetz."

"I don't care. He reached me, and I'm going to reach him." She had to reach him. Beetlejuice! I have to reach you. "I have to reach him, I have to tell him that I wasn't choosing Prince Vince because I liked him or anything. I just, I didn't want to ruin his afterlife, and he never treated me the way he did the other women he wanted!" She dug at the ground again. "Beetlejuice! I won't marry him, I promise!" She clawed at the hard ground. She dug so deep it was more like concrete to peel away. "Beetlejuice!"

"Honey, come over."

Lydia didn't move as everyone from inside gathered around her. She didn't care and she wasn't moving. As it started to bruise her fingers, she dealt with the pain but looked to her side at Bea Juice.

"Hm." For some reason, she didn't look as concerned. "Always getting taken to that other place, didn't get much time to develop much magic didja Honey?" She came over closer. "Calm down. Remember what I told you before. You two were way too close, for way too long, in opposite states."

What she said before . . .

///"You were. You were alive. You weren't from the same world, too young, different plans. Life and afterlife, it can't blend in that way." Bea held her finger up to her. "It's okay. Don't admit it out loud, it might make it harder. But, you should remember how that made you feel. Because the hardest turns are yet to be turned, but Beetlejuice is going to need you to stay strong. You can't fully rely on his power to get through it, or you'll sink both of you before you ever get a chance to be happy.///

Can't fully rely on his power. Yeah, Lydia remembered her saying that.

///How's it feel when you sink through the ground with or without him? Feel it." Bea stretched out her hand, using her magic she pulled Lydia out from the table, letting her stumble across the ground, until it became like water///

Toppling in, all the time. Lydia didn't know much magic, but she knew that feeling. The way it felt. She stood up and closed her eyes. Falling. She couldn't ever stop that feeling before, but this time, she had to create that feeling. Falling. She made herself lean backwards.

She fell, and she didn't stop. Every time she fell, someone had caught her. If it didn't work, then she would just keep falling. Please work. You always caught me before. Even when you were with your dad, you sensed me. You always sense me. I know that you can never stop trying to catch me. Try to stop helping me. My friend 'til past the end.

She felt a familiar grip around her hand. "Upwards, Beetlejuice." She felt it but she couldn't see him. "Up!" The grip she felt was slipping. "I'm sorry about the words, I'll never marry Prince Vince! You're right, I was being a goody two shoes, and I wanted to protect you." It was still slipping. "It's not you, it was never you, it's me. I'm not someone you'll ever think of more than as a friend!"

She knew she would lose the grip, but she couldn't hide it anymore. To get him back, she'd have to be honest. He had to understand that no part of her hated him. In fact, it loved him too much. There was no telling how their friendship would be after she said the truth, but he went because he didn't think she cared. To bring him back, he had to know she did care. She cared more than she should. "If it was just a ceremony, I could maybe do that, but, I was going to interrupt your entire life with a kid, just to prove love. I selfishly . . . didn't say anything before, I was just- I'm not tall, repulsive and disgusting! You've never looked at me the way you did the others you really liked. And. I get it. Even if I did, you'd never be happy with me."

"Babes."

She couldn't even look at him, though his full presence was probably. "I still want to be friends, I don't care. So, don't leave?"

"It's two years, minimum, to feel any attraction for the Neitherworld afterlifers. If I'da known you were actually attracted, we could have ignored this whole mess!"

Huh? When she looked toward him, he was already on her. It took a moment to adjust to his not quite clean mouth, but, it was . . .

He let go of her mouth, but she looked around and saw he had passionately tipped her over in a kiss in mid-air. She just stared at his deliriously happy smile back. "Beej?"

"Well, you did know me more than two years, and we were living together, and well, you've always been pretty amazing, Lyd," Beetlejuice answered. "When'd you figure it out?"

Oh. He. "When you took me to see your mom again. Something happened, and I just knew."

"Heh. Mom to the rescue," he responded. He brought her back up. "There, now no trading up. No kid needed either." He spun her around upward in a floating position and then the gravity changed. He brought her back down to the dirt, only to hold her in another kiss. They were back home. "That kid thing was just supposed to be proof. We got oodles of it now."

Lydia found herself dancing alongside him and then he spun her out. "You may have found a way to love me, but those senses are going to have to get some exercise to get anywhere near the repulsive acts we're gonna wanna do." He winked at her. "Know what I mean?"

Yeah, she did. His breath and his mouth were a little hard to handle. He was a little tough some days to handle. But, she'd learn.

"Should have told me after you figured it out," he said. "Aren't you the honest type that doesn't ever lie?"

"I was nervous. Like I said, you don't ever treat me like you did the others you liked."

Pfft. Your my friend too, I can't just holler at you that I'm madly in love with you."

The L word. "You said the L word. You never say that. You never get mushy."

"Yeah. Burp's been right all these years, you have strange taste," he teased her. "I can too get mushy. I can move around like runny mashed potatoes." He pulled her in close. "That should probably be for a second honeymoon." He just smiled with his very not sensual teeth.

"Can we not talk about this right in front of us!"

Oh, her dad! Everyone was still up there. Bea Juice was even starting to knit some booties.

"Yep, second." Beetlejuice didn't care. "So? Your parents, my parents, Burp, Prune, dweebs around the Roadhouse and wedding party in a can still?"

Yes. "Yes."

-----------------------

"Great! Hey, Mister Deetz!" Beetlejuice moved right around him. "Great news, there's no worrying about grandkids with me and Lyds yet." He looked so relieved. Good. "Yeah, 'cause I'll work it out naturally with her, but she's going to need time to get used to me. The deeper the magic level, or unhygienic level, the more practice it takes." Yeah, he didn't look so well now. "Yeah, your daughter is madly in love with me. Over a prince too." He couldn't help a small snort.

Lydia walked slowly over to everyone. "Sorry to worry everyone. It's okay again."

"Oh dear, this is not okay. It's so much worse," Mister Deetz said. "Lydia."

"It's fine now." She hugged Beetlejuice. This was where she wanted to be.

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"So we shopped over at Bridezilla a bit." Beetlejuice juiced all the decorations over to the middle of the room. "Anyone want to help decorate they can, just watch the directions. Especially the living guests. Babes and I are going to have some lessons now."

"What kind of lessons?" Mister Deetz said with an extreme whine.

"Charles, don't bother them. They've been through quite enough, and I'm sure she'll need several lessons to stand her new husband."

"Oh, I was hoping she'd upgrade to a polite one." He sighed. "Ugh. I knew Mister Beetleman was trouble from the start." He looked at some of the decorations.

"We'll help too." Prudence took some of the decorations and handed them to Bertha. "We'll have it all done before they come out. Probably."

"I don't know. Depends on how deep whatever lessons Lydia is taking take to get done," Bertha said.

"Let's not talk about that. Let's just decorate." Still, he couldn't hide a groan.

"She's happy, Charles," Delia said next to him. "Try and be happy for her."

"I know." He would try. She'd gone through so much. Through death. Through eternity. Through hell. Through everything. "I can't choose her future." Still. "It would have been nice if he'd at least try and brush his teeth before the ceremony."

"Yes, it would," Beetlejuice's mother agreed as she was actually starting to clean the area up for the wedding. "I don't mind, as long as they get started on grandchildren soon."

"Well, I do mind," Charles said. "She was still fairly young. 18 going on college."

"Age doesn't play much of a role anymore, Charles," Delia reminded him. "Let's get along with our daughters new in-laws soon."

"The confetti machine isn't fixed right. I'll fix it," Beetlejuice's father insisted.

"Are you a real handy man?" Charles had to ask him.

"I test bolts, but I also know stuff around the house," he answered.

Hm. Well, if he is anything like his parents, there must be some good traits Charles was missing about Beetlejuice.

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