It Takes A Working Family Guy

Beetlejuice rested his head on his parents table. His mom wanted his dad to give him some kind of tips to help. He didn't really see what his dad could offer, but he had tried for a whole month. And now? Lyds was cut off, for good, until he killed one of them.

"I just don't know what to say," his father said to him. "I'm sorry about your friend. It feels wrong to kill the living, and I saw Donny after helping last time. Even you? You look a little different. This changes people."

"I'm not asking you to make the kill," he said again, "I'm just wasting my time asking for any advice!"

"Beetlejuice, if I change like you, then I won't work. Then who's going to provide for the family?" he asked.

"Oh, good point," his mom agreed. "We should figure that out."

Money. Working. Time was sliding by so fast, and if he didn't figure out how to kill one of them, Lyds would have to go through murdering her parents again.

"I just don't see how you can go through with this, Son. Making someone be afraid who isn't afraid? Who doesn't have any easy fears to prey on? This is harder than work, and you hate work. I don't see you getting through this any time soon."

"Great, just great! You know, a little bit of believing in me would go a long way!" he scolded him. "Yeah, it's harder than work. I don't care, I'm going to get this done and save Lydia."

"If you hardly ever work, then it's hard to work when you have to," his father said. "You can't expect miracles."

"Not an ounce of faith." Beetlejuice held up an ounce cup with the word faith in it. He poured it out. He looked at his mom. She didn't even care, she was reading something. "Your son is over here pouring his faith out, and you're just reading?" He grabbed her book abruptly.

What? He looked away from the page and at the title of the book. "Raising Clean Grand Ghost Kids, Edition 379?"

"I believe," she said as she reached back for her book. "I'm preparing."

Raising Clean Grand Ghost Kids? "Something I don't know about Donny?"

She just shook her head. "Now, head up from the table, Beetlejuice, you are getting it all dirty. You need a bath too. Try looking a little better for when you get this done." She gestured to the book. "Brush your teeth, get out most of the beetle parts. No one likes to kiss with food in the mouth."

Beetlejuice just gave his mom a small . . . smirk. He poured the faith back in and lifted his head. His mom didn't just believe that he could get this done. She believed that- "Wait? Whoah. I never told you I like Lyds."

"Pretty obvious, Dear," his mom said. "Fate had you visiting her while she was alive, so she'd have a chance to get to know the one person who can get her out of being a dead shadow. It's just like cleaning a very stubborn stain, you can't just throw it together, you need several things and extra time to pull it off."

"Yuh huh. Leave it to you to take hell, eternity and shadows and make a point with cleaning stains." Like he should have expected anything else?

"Now, I've been waiting awhile. I really want a ghostboy and a ghostgirl for grandkids, but I don't know if she could handle two from our genes."

Well? Death was weird. Beetlejuice couldn't say yes or no to that thinking. "Wait, wait, wait! Even if Lyds is freed, who said anything about grand ghost kids?"

"Grand ghost kids with Lydia?" his father said surprised. "Lydia is finally going to give us some grandkids?"

Boy, they were both in their own daydreams. "I need to save her first," he reminded his dad.

"Well, if I'm saving my future Daughter-in-Law, then I will help." His father stood up. "Come on, let's go to that living world together. I don't know how to scare someone to death, but I bet if I watch long enough, I can hit him where it hurts. What have you tried so far to ruin him?"

Oh. Oh boy, did he have a list for him.

————————————————

Living World

"Hey, Carter, we need you to come back in again. Everything's messing up again."

Carter looked at the time. "I'm already on overtime."

"If we don't get this fixed, no one has a job. The only other one who knows how to do it is sick."

He was practically sick. "Do you have any idea how much sleep I've gotten?"

"You are the only one that seems to fix the machines."

"I don't know why they work when I use them and it doesn't work for anyone else," he said. "I'm not fixing them, I'm just using them."

"Come in. Now."

Damn. Carter pulled himself away from his home and to his car. He needed to get it taken in, it took at least three starts before it turned over now. He headed to work and went over to the company machines. They worked just fine. "See?"

"Good. We close in two hours, just take over for two hours," they insisted. "We'll get someone to look at it tomorrow."

"You said that yesterday," he complained but they had already left. Damn. Stuck at work for two hours. He swore that coworker was just kidding around with him to make him keep coming in. The company was going to hate giving him all this overtime just because of his prank.

All of the machines worked fine. He fixed the drinks just fine. He gave out the drinks just fine.

"This doesn't taste right."

"This is not vanilla."

"The milk isn't separated."

"I can tell you didn't make this right."

Except the customers were biting his head off today. Usually he gets all the orders just right. "It's a 20 oz macchiato with light ice and two espresso shots with caramel."

"It's not, it tastes like there's six espresso shots in there!" his customer complained. "Remake it."

Remake. Remake. Remake. Every customer he tried to help, ended up leaving with an unhappy smile. Most of them told him he needed to learn how long to press buttons, or maybe check the machine for the right amount of coffee. They even complained for something as simple as a cold brew being the wrong flavor.

Every order was absolutely wrong, and it didn't take long before his boss found out. He was on the phone with him, while trying to take the next orders. "Sir, I'm doing everything normally as I usually do. I know my flavors. Yes. I'm not adding anything extra. No. Yes, I know I'm not supposed to be working but there were complaints about the machines not working." He tried to make the next drink and give it out between the conversation.

"Oh, this is disgusting, what is that?" they complained. "That is not chocolate in that mocha, it tastes like shit. I want a refund."

"I'm making them right!" Carter was getting frustrated. Being yelled at by customers and by his boss. He heard the dinging of the toaster oven too for the little breakfast sandwiches the chain also produced. Still on the phone, he took it out with one hand and tried to put it together. He sacked it and gave it to the customer.

The customer took it out. "You forgot the egg and cheese. On a sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich."

Damn. He took it back and made another one. Meanwhile, the line was somehow getting even longer than usual. They mostly complained and yelled that he wasn't moving fast enough, the ones upfront stuck around because he was getting their orders wrong, and his boss was chewing him out on the phone.

And when you get frustrated, busy, and stop paying attention to things?

"Mother fucker!" he yelled as he cut himself with the knife he split another sandwich with.

"Hey, I didn't pay for blood on my sandwich!" he heard from behind him.

They couldn't even be nice enough to give him two seconds to stop the bleeding and grab a bandage? He ran his hands beneath the water but heard a ton of complaints from the customers, along with complaints from his boss. "This isn't stopping." The blood was still running. "Sir, I think I need to go to the hospital."

"On your time off," his boss said on the phone. "After your shift in two hours, you can go."

"Sir, I am bleeding. I can't stay, it won't stop. The customers are going to get bloody drinks."

"Then remake the drinks. Put fresh gloves on each time."

Was he in hell? "No, I'm going to the hospital!"

"Leave and you are fired!"

"You can't fire me, I quit!" He hung up the phone and walked past everyone, holding his poor hand. He needed a hospital right away.

Betty Juice looked onward, along with 'her' dad. "Leave it to you to know how to make a worker lose it." His dad's work stunts threw him so off balance that throwing voices was working again.

"Some work days are hell, Son," his dad said to him. "You'll know that one day." He watched as the next worker came in that the boss had actually promised would replace Carter immediately so he could go to the hospital. Something Carter didn't hear through the thrown voices.

The replacement had everything fixed, the customers happy, and the place cleaned up in a few minutes. "I hate when that happens. All the credit will go to them."

"Yeah, but Carter quit now." Betty Juice still needed to make him end himself, but their best vehicle to frustrate him to get it done was gone. He wasn't going to get scared to death, but a kill was a kill, and they lost the way to do that.

"He's going to the hospital. We just need to follow. It won't take much for this next part. I know how to take him out from here."

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Hospital

Carter couldn't believe the fee he had to come up with to get his hand fixed. "Take it in payments then."

"Do you have a job?"

"I have another good paycheck," Carter tried to convince him. "My boss fired me for coming in to stop the bleeding."

"I doubt that," the doctor said. "If so, they could probably be sued. Your finger is nearly off."

Nearly off? Carter looked at it close. "Oh, it's barely hanging on?" It felt surreal. He almost sliced his finger off. With just a simple cutting knife?

"Yeah, you are going to need surgery to reattach that. We'll get you scheduled for it. Come with me."

He was circled around to different offices while he kept a wet rag around his finger. Later he was in an isolated room, coming to terms with what happened. "I quit my job?" He quit it right before this happened. He was going to need help to get these bills paid.

He called up his parents. "Hey, I need some help."

"You aren't the only one. Carter, we have some bad news. Nana passed away."

Nana? "Grandma didn't make it?"

"No. The surgery was risky, even if we had the money at the time."

"Did she have the surgery?"

"Yes, she died after it."

Damn. No. "I'm sorry. I loved Nana." He closed his eyes.

"The money you lent us is gone too, Carter."

What? "I gave you a lot of money to get through everything."

"Your mother went to drop it off and someone attacked her at the ATM."

"I gave you the money a long time ago."

"I know. We didn't want to tell you, we didn't want you to get upset, but we needed to tell you again. Your mom isn't doing so well now. Do you have anything extra we can borrow for a little while?"

Money? "Dad. I called because I needed money."

"Could you get a loan for everyone? I'm afraid we are just too low to qualify for anything anymore."

A loan? "I don't even have a job, I just quit today."

"Carter, what?! Why did you quit?"

"My boss wouldn't let me go to the hospital to take care of my hand."

"He probably didn't understand the seriousness. Call him back right away. You're really the family's last hope, we need your help."

Damn! "Okay." He hung up and tried to call his boss. He wasn't answering at first. When he did, he wasn't happy. "I'm sorry I left, Sir, it was an emergency."

"You chose it," his boss said. "There was no reason to choose that, but you chose it. Get your hand fixed and I wish you well in the future."

Damn! "Sir, I'm sorry, it was an emergency! Sir!" He hung up. Ugh! He probably could sue him, if he had some kind of money to sue for this. Crap. He called his dad back when the doctors came in and injected him with something.

——————————————

When Carter woke up, his legs felt weird.

"It was a success, Mister Adler. It was touch and go but the growth stopped."

Growth? "What do you mean?" he asked.

"The gangrene in your leg," the doctor or nurse said.

Gangrene?! "I didn't have any gangrene!"

"Sir, your leg was full of gangrene. We had to amputate very high."

Amputate? "I don't have a leg?"

"Just relax now. That's the most important thing," the doctor said before they left.

Carter looked at his thumb. It was patched up too now, but his leg? His leg? How was he going to afford this?

"So much worse than it was before, huh?"

Carter looked toward the door. Betty Juice was just standing there. She waved at him. "You murdered Duncan and Brady."

"You murdered the Deetzes," she said back. "Did you think murdering someone to help others was okay?" She glared at him.

"I just helped support the bodies upstairs," he said to her. "I didn't murder anyone."

"You knew what they were doing, you didn't say a word, you are guilty!" She pointed straight at him.

"I'm less guilty than Mister Jennings!" He watched as some nurse went right past the hologram of Betty Juice to give him another injection. "Don't you see her? The hologram of her? The girl by the door?"

The nurse looked toward the door. "There's no one there, Sir."

"It's a hologram!" Carter insisted. "You can walk through her because she's a hologram, but you must see Betty Juice."

"Sir, there is no one there. Just relax, the medication affects everyone differently."

"Yeah, Carter," Betty Juice said. "It's just your medication. Only your imagination. I'm not even real, am I? Never found anything about me in your little look ins at Pleasant Pines, did you?"

"Who are you?!" he yelled at her.

"Already dead, and I'm helping the memory and justice of a friend you hurt. Don't mess with the dead, Carter. They have no problems with torturing the living. Now, sit back." She smiled. "Sorry about the gangrene. The job. The calls. Getting mugged before the ATM. Grandma dying. You get nothing from Lydia's death. The rest of your life will be this way too. You'll lose every limb, every job, and every family member before I ever let you go."

"Don't you see her? Don't you see her?!" Carter yelled, pointing to the door.

"Just relax, Sir," The nurse gave him another injection. "There is nothing there."

"Right, Carter. Nothing there. I'm nobody. Don't get fond of any of your body parts, I bet something will be gone again when you wake up."

"No!" He yanked his IV out to stop the medication. He was bleeding out, pushed the nurse away and tried to get away on his one leg. He reached for the door.

——————————————

Beetlejuice and his father, dressed as Betty Juice, watched the ending of the little weasel's life. Beetlejuice wasn't supposed to make direct contact with them as himself in a threatening manner, but his father never signed the contract. A little bit of voice throwing and changing the old man to look like Betty Juice, and they had it solid.

The leg was probably the part that got him. He'd been so convinced he lost his leg, he couldn't feel it when he was ready to flee. Beetlejuice never thought it would be the most disbelieving one that would be scared to death. Now? Lydia could come back and avoid the painful night. "Thanks, Dad."

"The old human ticker can only take so much," his dad said. "I feel a little weird now."

"It'll go away in about two weeks," he told his dad. He just couldn't involve him anymore. Everyone seemed to get one by themselves with just some side effects.

One more. He just had one more.

Finley Jennings.

"You are going to get a two-hour date with her tonight," her father reminded him as they watched doctors trying to save Carter with a defibrillator. "Make it special." His father waved his hand in front of him. "Beetlejuice? You okay?"

The light seemed gone. Most of what he saw was black or shaded in greys. Finley. Finley. "Finley Jennings and Mister Jennings." Mister Jennings. "They never would have pulled that stunt if it wasn't for that art collector."

"Uh?" His father looked confused like some idiot. "Beetlejuice? You're only required to kill Finley Jennings, then Lydia will be given back."

"No she won't," he corrected him. "It's a theory. Something nice to believe in." But when did anything nice happen to him? "This is revenge, plain and simple. Revenge for what they did."

"I don't feel so good," he told Beetlejuice. "You're definitely not very good either. We should go home."

——————————————

Roadhouse.

"Well, it's a home," his father said.

"I'm going to kill Finley." It was time. "Both Finleys."

"No, Beetlejuice, that's not part of the deal," his father tried to stop him. "Beetlejuice. Listen? You've been involved in three revenge deaths. You've shared the burden of two, but you're still taking damage as well. This is too far. Just, relax. There's no need to go after anyone else for a little while. You have a date to keep. With your lovely friend."

He was going to kill them.

"If you mess up, you will lose her," he reminded him. "You are already showing signs you want to mess up. You can't let her become a dead shadow for eternity. You don't even want to leave her in there when it gets really bad," he tried to convince him.

He was going to kill them. His dad left somewhere else, he didn't know where. Didn't care. It was time to take care of this.

—————————————-

Lydia's Eternity

Lydia had her eyes closed. She couldn't cry, but she wanted to. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. I need you. She could feel a hard disconnect when she had fallen ten minutes early. He would have ranted and raved, and taken some of the other visitation time they earned to make sure she was okay.

None of that happened. They were locked away from each other. She heard someone coming in for her. She felt the gag being put in her mouth. She found herself actually going down the stairs this time.

There was only one person there, but she heard someone head away in the back. She could look at her parents, already at the balcony. She could hear her father trying to comfort her.

Beetlejuice definitely would have gotten her by now if he could. She raised the gun, and lowered the gun, and raised the gun again. Please! I don't want to see this, I don't want to see this, someone! She couldn't close her eyes. There was nothing she could do.

———————————

Neitherworld

"Beetlejuice!" She reached for him, seeing him right in front of her. While she felt so much relief, it was starting to leave just as fast. BJ didn't look like himself. He'd already been less funny, and less pranky, a little different before. But now?

His eyes were almost nothing but black, barely any white at all. He had no real emotion on his face.

She moved backward. He felt so strange. Had he gone too far? This is my fault. I never said not to do anything, I just wanted revenge too. But now, I'm losing him. "BJ?" Nothing. "Beej?"

Then, his eyes seemed to focus on her again. "Lydia?" He blinked and then seemed better again. "Hey, hey! You know I wouldn't leave you hanging if I could help it," he told her as he hugged her.

"How?" she asked, still very worried. "You were having such problems."

"My dad helped," he admitted. "He took all of the things I tried on him and made them all hit at the same time. It turns out a working family guy is pretty good at killing another working family guy."

Working family guy? "Did he have kids?"

"Obsessed with helping his parents and grandparents. Too obsessed," BJ answered. "Sorry, that was longer than last time. I think?" He looked really confused. "Contracts suck."

Lydia looked around herself. They weren't in a restaurant this time. "We're in the Roadhouse?"

"Yeah?" He was just as surprised. "Must have come back. I know dad took off. Uh? Well, let's try something different for a date then," he answered. He snapped his fingers and dressed in his favorite black and white suit.

Beetlejuice. That was so much better.

When he juiced her, she found herself in her most beautiful outfit he had made when she first came down there as a Neitherworlder. "The spider webs are still just as cool-looking." She looked back toward him and noticed he had something else in his hands.

"Only rule is I spend money, right? So, uh, I figured we might try this." He showed off what he was hiding in his hands. "Meant to give it at some point."

Oh. She reached for it from his hands. It was a beautiful black and white beetle lapel pin. "Deadly vu!" She pinned it on and watched his juice actually create three black and white beetles crawl on her. "It's beautiful, thanks Beej." She pulled one of the beetles off and held it out to him.

"Uh? Not right now. I'm holding off on food," he said oddly.

She watched as confetti started to fall from the ceiling while she found a party horn in her mouth while he was blowing on his. He grabbed her and spun her around. He had even juiced on some music.

Some familiar music they used to dance to together.

———————————

Miss Second Chance watched from some bugs, spying bugs, in Beetlejuice's roadhouse. This was getting bad. She knew from the beginning how it would end. She tried to help people increase their chances with help or hope, but this was too many.

Though Beetlejuice had more juice than most ghosts, he would still succumb to the curse of Lex Talionis as well. One or two, perhaps he could have pulled through. She had known this, but tried to help anyway. She even tried a lover angle with Ginger the Spider to increase the chances of keeping a connection to keep the evil away.

There were still too many to take revenge against, and the Neitherworld even kept one in their pocket: the father of Finley Jennings. Just to increase the chances he would fall if Finley himself weren't enough.

She could tell from Beetlejuice's report he was not an easy ghost to get along with for the higher ups, so as hard as Lex Talionis had been? It was ten times as hard when everyone was cheering for him to lose.

She had no vested interest, only to complete her job to full satisfaction. She would rise up in ranks the better she had done with her clients. But, seeing this?

These two. It was easy to see how Beetlejuice and Lydia had broken the barriers between. Even if she hadn't known their history, their silly dancing with their silly music. The looks in their eyes. The fact that Beetlejuice's change to evil had been brushed away like it was nothing while confetti rained down on them while they danced.

Miss Second Chance would be rewarded and seen as accomplishing her duty well no matter what happened. At this rate, the smiling Lydia would be screaming inside and forced to stay a dead shadow for eternity, while Beetlejuice would be entering hell once he took the last life. Probably within three days or so, this cute little scene would never happen again.

But? They broke into a connection of eternity. Something few have ever done before. The chances this would work. The chances this would even help the clear catastrophic destination for these two? It was so slim.

Sorry, but this dance must end. She was going to steal the rest of Lydia's visiting time.

They deserved that slim chance.

———————————————

Burnt shadow in the middle of the Roadhouse? "Aaaah Damn it! What the hell?" He earned that, he earned her! He had a whole two hours he was supposed to get.

Playing with his emotions. Fine. That's all that mattered to them. He was tired of letting the higher ups of Neitherworld jerk around Lydia just so they could win against him. "Fine, forget it! I am going to take out Finley, and then I'm getting Lydia back!"

He'd stay strong. He'd remember Lydia was on the line. He wouldn't go dark. Just, one more time. That's it.

Just one more time.