Chapter Twenty-Two

Are you on your knees, little girl?

Alice scoffed into the air as the words ran through her mind again. She tucked her legs under herself on the sofa and flipped the stack of papers in her hand over. She took one signature and added it to the stack by attaching it with a needle and thread. There were about five signatures by then and she decided it would be the last. She wasn't too fond of thick notebooks, and she found thin ones easier to manage.

Why would Keanu say something like that? She couldn't even remember what happened that night, and somehow, it set something in him off. She could still remember his expression - amusement with a mask of unreadable emotions brewing under the surface. He seemed to relish the moment, but the features on his face faded as soon as they appeared.

What was he feeling? What did he truly think about the way she acted that night? Was it something that he thought was a nuisance but didn't want her to know because he cared about her, or did it excite him?

Who cared? Not her.

She shook her head, laughing to herself as she poked the thread into another hole at the binding before she brought it to the stack of signatures. The papers were white in colour and she preferred that to cream, because inks performed better on the pale paper. It was also blank, which meant that she had free rein with how she wanted to use it.

Are you on your knees, little girl?

It wasn't as if it affected her all that much. She didn't care about what happened that night. Other than some embarrassment, she had already put it all behind her. She knew everyone would chalk it up to her being drunk and they would leave it at that. Who had never embarrassed themselves after drinking a tad too much?

No, it didn't affect her. She had already moved on, and so had Keanu. What mattered now was the book she was binding. It was turning out to be better than she had anticipated since she was taking her time with it, and she knew she would be using it for a while.

The signature was attached firmly to the stack of papers. Smiling with satisfaction, she picked up the thick cardboard on the table which was wrapped in decorative paper that had blue roses all over it. She positioned it directly on top of the stack, and aligned the holes on top with the holes of the signature. Once it was done, the journal would be a hardcover that laid flat. It would also be able to fold on itself and that was how she liked it.

Are you on your knees, little girl.

She rolled her eyes dramatically. So what if he actually said those words? If he had, then obviously he wanted to exert control over her. Maybe he knew about the way she had been thinking about him. He must've known from the way her body responded to his and as a man who'd had so many years of experience dating, unlike her, he obviously knew when a woman found him attractive.

If he did, then he must've been toying with her sexual feelings. He liked the power it gave him, that was certain. Alice pursed her lips as she bound the cover to the signatures. She would not hand the power over to him anymore, she vowed to herself. Let him experience what it was like to be her.

What did it matter anyway? She could ask him all her burning questions but it wasn't as if things were going to go anywhere. What were his burning questions? Would he ask her if she was interested in him?

No, honestly speaking, Keanu, I see you as a friend only. If you weren't my boyfriend's father or my dad's best friend, our paths would have never crossed. And if it did, we wouldn't stay friends for long. We have very different interests and there would be no reason for us to continue interacting with each other. But the matter of the fact is that you have close relationships to my loved ones, and I'd rather die than ruin the relationships with the people who mean so much to me. Not that I don't mind ruining our relationship, but what we have doesn't matter as much to me, you know?

She scoffed, then looked down at her hands. The journal was finally done and as she tested the binding, folding the papers back in various angles, a proud smile broke out on her face. It was rigid and tight, just the way machine-produced notebooks were. Over time, she discovered that she had always bound her notebooks too loosely but now, she was glad that issue was solved.

Are you on your knees, little girl!

She gritted her teeth as her body shook silently. Her muscles tensed up and her nails dug into the cover of her newly made journal. When she released her hand from it, there was a mark firmly pressed into the cardboard. Picking up a blue pen from a pen holder nearby, she turned to the first page of the journal and held it over the paper.

She wasn't interested in Keanu! He was boring, too strait-laced, too honest about everything, and too controlling. He was also too kind, and she hated that! She hated him! He was boring! Boring!

Opening her eyes after shutting it tightly, she loosened her grip on the pen and made several light strokes across the paper. The lines formed on it softly and she used her pinky occasionally to smear the ballpoint ink as quickly as she could before it dried up and the drawing appeared gradually. The curves and sharp lines were clearly defined against the white, and it didn't take her long before she was engrossed in the drawing of the naked man.