Chapter 9

Jane

I love quiet days, the ones of still telephones and silent clocks. The sounds that came sailing in the breeze.

Sebastian drove us to the beach. I am not fond of the beach, but it was fine because he was there with me. Sebastian made everything fun.

He held my hand as we walked over to a palm tree. The sun was sprawled beneath the clear blue sky. There was a few persons at the beach basking under the sun. I could feel the warm sun penetrating my body, I could taste the water in the air, but most importantly I could feel the hand that was holding mine and the way his dark eyes stared into mine.

I felt as if we were on a separate universe, somewhere where no pain existed. Somewhere where happiness lived.

He spread the towel on the sand and pulled me down with him. He was lying on his side facing me and I was on my side but looking out into the sea. He reached for my chin and turned my face towards him.

"What's wrong, Jane?"

I realized I had been staring at the beach for a while lost in my thoughts.

"Tell me what you're thinking" he said His thumb gently brushing against my cheek.

I wanted him to know me but I was scared to tell him the ugly parts of my life, afraid he would look at me different. But there was something about him that made me feel safe, made me feel like he would still love me for who I am.

He Removed a strand of hair from my eyes and started to penetrate me with his affectionate dark eyes. Then he said "Let me know you, I want to know you"

I stared away and sat up and was playing with my fingers, I felt my hand tingle. I took a deep breath and then I finally told him about Chris.

Chris and I was together for years, my first love, my only love. I remember one point where he was so loving, treated me as if I mattered. Then he changed drastically, he became a monster, someone I didn't recognized.

He blamed me for every bad thing that happened to him. Over and over again. He...

I trailed off and took a deep breath.

He worm away at my self esteem, called me names. I can still hear his voice sometimes. He made me feel unworthy, like I wasn't beautiful like no one could ever love me. For a long time I believed him then I met you.

Turning my gaze towards him, I shook my head, trying to erase the memories that were forcing its way back into my head. He held my hand and I felt his grip tightened.

"He couldn't have been more wrong" He said

It's okay, I don't want to discuss him anymore.

"Did he hurt you?" He ask

I lowered my gaze and then turned from him.

"Jane?"

I looked at him but didn't say anything.

"If that son of a...." he paused and looked at me as if he understood that I wasn't ready to talk about it and that's why I was this way.

Guarded.

He had that look in his eyes like he wanted to know more, I could sense he wanted to protect me. So I started to tell him more.

He sat up and face me.

" I cooked dinner one night, and I remember making his favorite , Pot beef chili, and how excited I was doing so"

I tried to turn my face away again but this time he stopped me, his eyes pleading silently to continue and to keep looking at him.

I relented.

"He came home and I told him his food was in the oven, he started to say some horrible things about the food and threw it on the ground and told me to clean it up and even called me a fat bitch, I then open my mouth to..."

I trailed off again placing my hand on my cheek rubbing the area where Chris had slapped me.

He wrapped his arms around me "It's okay" I melted into him. I wasn't going to cry. He started to rub my back and he let out a sigh. It felt good, really good.

"I promise to love you unconditionally, even when we get married and have kids" he said

I stared at him in horror, my eyes showing shock. If he was trying to distract me from my memories he was succeeding.

He grinned at me, placed his finger on my chin and pulled my face close to him. He used his thumb and trace the seam of my top lip. "I love you" he sputtered "everything will be fine"

I didn't know how to respond. He loves me

He really loves me?

Realizing that I went silent he said " you don't have to say it back, I'll wait"

I started to get up, but he grabbed me and wrapped his arms around me "You're not going anywhere"

I blinked. My stomach swirling with butterflies, He chuckled.

I promise to be the best husband to you.

Was he joking?

He was definitely joking. There's no way he was serious about this.

I did not take him seriously.

He kissed my forehead and then he got up to go take a swim.

The beach stretched out alongside the water. I sat on the sand my eyes moving from sand to stone, from rock pools to breaking waves to Sebastian. He looked so handsome swimming in the briny aroma, as if the rays from the sun brought a frison of energy to his finger tips. I walked closer to the water. I sat down, with my legs curled under, dusted with sand like flour on a bread, I sat close to the lapping wave. My fingers wiggle in the water, scooping the sand that runs like cold lava through my star fish fingers and onto the dry beach. My eyes were still on Sebastian. Just the sight of him stunned me a little, his hair wet and combed back, water dripping from his body. The sun illuminating his granite skin showcasing his gorgeousness.

"He walked towards me"

He stopped midstride, his head tilted and a naughty smile on his face as he stared intently on me. At that moment it was just me.

"How was your swim?" I asked

"It was good, would've been better if you were in there with me"

I smiled. I wanted him to come up to me but he stayed where he was and stared at me intensely.

Hungry I asked

I saw his Adam's apple bobbed up and down.

"Yes" he whispered.

We arrived home late in the evening.

I took a shower, put on one of his shirt, no bra and a dark close fitted tights that shows off my ample curves. My hair was let down lying simultaneously on my back.

I went to prepare dinner for both of us.

"Food is almost ready" I said. "Smells wonderful in here" he commented. It was obvious that he had just came out of the shower.

I was making Chicken pot pie.

I placed the spoon down on the counter and walked over to him, I saw his eyes widened a little, as he watched. I was a few centimeters from him, I could smell the lavender body wash on him. His lips pale red. The top lip was thinner, but not too thin. The bottom lip had more plush. I wanted to feel his lips against mine.

"I have something for you" I said

I placed my hand around his neck, pulling him close to me.

His lips

They looked so soft, so tempting.

I stood there craving their taste.

Staring down at me with those affectionate dark eyes. Our eyes locked with soft expressions, he tucked my hair behind my ears. His fingers lingered for a minute on my ears, down to my neck. He started to make small circles on my neck.

"What do you have for me?" he said in a raspy voice

"A kiss" I breathed. Stepping closer, I planted my lips onto his, the feel of them sent my mind into a sensual state of intoxication.

I felt his hands holding my hips, pulling me closer as if he wasn't getting enough of me. His tongue glided softly between my lips. I purred. Everything blurred. His lips tasted so delicious.

Between the gentle bites and the slow licks of his tongue, made me long for something I wasn't ready for.

His fingers caressed my neck once more making its way do to my clavicle into my T-shirt. His fingers curling on the top of my breast, gliding down my sternum.

He scoop me up and placed me on the counter, his hand pressing against my back pulling me closer to him. He kissed me harder, gently biting my bottom lip. My fingers dug into his back, taking everything he was giving me and trying to give him more.

My head was spinning and my heart was beating fast. Our body weave together, just the whisper of my imagination held me incapacitated. There was no focus, only desire.

I realized I need a breath. I placed my hands on his chest, pushing him a little, but he wouldn't release me.

And then his phone rang. He still didn't pull away. He kept his lips glued to mine.

holy crap

Answer the phone please I need a minute.

I pulled away panting, he stared at me, hands still on my hips. He dropped his forehead gently against min. I could see he was hungry for me.

His phone rang again.

"Answer your phone" I said, wanting to catch my breath back.

He released me and walk over into the living room.

He reached for his phone.

"Hello Ashley, yes?. No I can't tonight. I'm sorry. Rain check?"

Ashley? Rain check? my mind screamed out at me.

was that her name, Ashley? That blonde he was talking to at the diner?

who was this Ashley.

My thoughts was suddenly interrupted by the burning smell of my chicken pot pie.