Chapter 10

Jane

He was just kissing me a few seconds ago and he was planning a date with another girl? What the fuck I whispered to myself. I thought he loved me. Images of Chris cheating on me with a girl from the workplace inundated me. I just snapped.

I stormed off went to my room and slam the door. I knew it!

He came to the door, open it and asked if I was okay.

"You bastard!" I screamed I grabbed the pillow and threw it at him. he ducked.

"What the fuck" he said

I reach for the next pillow and threw it, this time he caught it

"What did I do Jane?" He looked so confused, so clueless that I felt like kicking him between his legs.

"Are you kidding me?" I couldn't believe how stupid I was , I was actually starting to believe him! oh my God, I wanted to slap myself. I screamed in frustration and turned to leave. I was leaving for good!

He grabbed my arm and whipped me around, my arms sliding across his chest as our body came in contact. I twisted away but he grabbed my other arm, immobilizing me.

His face was contorted with anger, frustration and confusion. as he glared at me he said " what did I do?"

I wanted to pull away but he had me locked in his arms.

"Ashley ? Rain check?" I spat. she's the girl you were talking to at the Diner

He let out a sigh "Ashley is my ex fiancée, we broke up and she went to Europe. she just got back and wanted to catch up. You don't need to think the worst of me.

I groaned I felt like an idiot

"stop being a coward and tell me what you feel. Because I am done with all your holding back, Jane" he said angrily, I could feel his grip tightened. And the his eyes turned soft , his voice in a painful whisper as he asked "Do you love me?"

"I do" I whispered

I grabbed his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. I kiss him because he made me hope for something I thought was broken, something I thought I could never have.

His hands curled on my shoulder, before they glide down my back, pulling me against his hard body. I kissed him harder biting his bottom lip.

"I'm sorry Sebastian. This thing we have between us, it terrifis me. Every time I want to give in to you, but I am afraid, you make me feel like I can be happy with you, like I can give you.......everything. I gave Chris everything and he just... he just....."

come here he said in a soft whisper.

I felt him move beside me then held my face so that I turned toward him. He kiss my cheek

"You drive me crazy" he kissed my forehead, my right cheek, my chin then my next cheek.

He then kiss my neck.

"wait" I said

"Shh" he continue kissing me, kissing my shoulders, I just want to kiss you.

"I smile, okay" He kissed everywhere except my lips.

"Sebastian kiss me here"

"where?" he breathed .

"Right here" I placed a finger on my lip, I wanted him to kiss me everywhere. I felt hot, like my blood was boiling and my skin on fire, his lips were soft, so soft. In that split of a second before his touch every nerve in my body and brain electrified. It was the anticipation of us being together, but I wasn't ready.

His lips was not leaving my neck, his hands went to caress my legs" I want to make love to you so bad" he whispered

He moved his hands to my stomach, wanting to lift up my shirt.

It was like an ice cold bucket was thrown over my head. I grabbed his hands and stop him, I didn't want him to see my scar.

"Sebastian stop, please" He was breathing loudly, we both were but he stopped when I asked him to.

"I can't, I-I'm not ready"

he rested his forehead against mine, his eyes closed.

"It's okay, we don't have to I'll wait"

"I'm not going to push you. This is all up to you I promise"

I nodded, I wondered what he would think if he saw my scar, it was big and ugly.

"I have scar on my side" There, I said it

He looked at me with desire in his eyes, let me see, is that why you wanted to stop?

"yes" I said.

"Let me see" he asked again.

Afraid, I slowly lifted my shirt, And then he smiled. He kissed my scar and said it was beautiful.

I was shocked I didn't expect this reaction. "I love every part of you, I can 't wait"

Sebastian...How do I tell him I was damaged emotionally? I didn't know how long it would take for me to trust him enough, to be certain that I was ready

"What?" His smile disappeared when I didn't answer "I know you want to make love to me, I can feel it. But if you're not ready, then you're not. That's all there is to it" He kissed my lips

"I won't hurt you, I am not him" he whispered.

I rest the side of my face against his chest his heart was beating fast.

"I am sorry if I made you believe that I was going out with someone else, I should've told you about Ashley, when you threw that pillow though" he chuckled

I laugh and bit his chest " that surprised me too"

"ow, I love it" he murmured , rubbing his chest where I bit him

I gasped when he said love. I wanted to hear him say it again, I was ready to hear it, say it Sebastian, I want to hear it.

I held my breath. He looked at me as if he knew what I was thinking. He smiled knowingly and whispered, you're worth everything to me Jane.

I turned my eyes away. I knew I was blushing. I could feel the heat creeping up my neck. And I knew he was grinning.

"I'm hungry" he said. The food was all burnt up, so we didn't ate. But the way he said hungry though, as if he was hungry for something else other than food, I looked up in his eyes and I knew.

He was hungry for me.

Oh God

"Do you-" I cleared my throat. " Want me to cook something else for you?"

He blew out a breath "I think we need to go to bed, before I eat someone"

My mouth fell to the floor. He bit his lips grinning, and turn to walk to his room.

I was stunned by what he said that I just nodded before he left. In a daze, I padded to my room.

****

Time had passed since my arrival in Burlington, It was now a holiday, Sebastian wanted us to go out to eat and he wanted me to wear a dress.

I was in a dilemma. I had no dress, I never wore a dress. I let out a frustrating breath. This was ridiculous. I couldn't afford new clothes.

Sebastian made me want to look beautiful for him, I wanted to impress him. I stared at my image in the mirror and for the first time I loved all of me. My hair fell down in my back, Should I curl it I thought.

Sebastian walked in , I have something for you, I smile whiling taking the gift from his hand, I reached into the bag and pull out a beautiful red dress.

"I hope you like it" he said as he walked away.

My boobs looked enormous, were my hips too wide? They looked really wide, would he think I wasn't sexy in this dress? He didn't even ask me on a date he told me.

Should I pay or should I allow him to pay or we should we split the bill? What if he brought us to an expensive restaurant? What if he forgets his wallet? I had no money.

Ahh I was overthinking again. I was just going to be myself and enjoy myself with him.

I will never hurt you

He said this to me earlier. I knew he wouldn't but my brain was programmed after Chris and that's why I always overthink things.

Opening up to Sebastian meant opening my heart and getting hurt. Digging up old wounds that I would rather not open. There was so much I haven't told Sebastian.

I took deep calming breaths.

I gave myself another glance in the mirror before stepping out of my room. The red dress molded my body like a second skin, accentuating all my curves, it showed a bit of my thigh. I had on a pair of heels, what if I fall on my face.

I held my breath when I spotted Sebastian leaning against the door, waiting on me. His eyes caressed me, sweeping my body , his eyes lingered at my boobs.

I felt nervous after that sweep.

He was wearing a dark blue dress shirt, a tie and dark pants.

My hands tingle, itching to touch him.

I could look at you all night, he said, his voice lower than normal.

I could smell his cologne coupled with his lavender body wash.

This is our first real date, he stepped towards me until he was touching my face with both hands. His head dipped down to kiss me gently on my lips, he lingered taking a deep inhale. "you look beautiful"

I was blushing, What was he doing to me.

It was as if time stood still, his lips were moist and soft, slightly parted, teasing. I leaned up on my toes to catch more of his kiss. he smiled and licked my bottom lip. His arms around me, pressing me against his hard chest.

When at last he lifted his head, I opened my eyes, out of breath.

After you he said gruffly, his eyes held that hungry look again. We would never get out of here if he kept looking at me like that, I had a feeling he was checking out my butt. I almost reached the door when his hand caught mine.

"Wait please" he held me kiss me again.

I smiled, melting.

He took us to a restaurant, told me to chose a table while he ordered for us. He had a polite smile.

It was fascinating the way he ate. He ate like a guy, taking big bites, but he ate with his mouth closed no sound. Perfect table manners.

We started asking each other questions, some serious, some ridiculous,. He asked a lot of inappropriate questions but in his own goofy way.

I felt full but Sebastian insisted we should try ice cream. He bought us cheese cake ice cream and we ate them as we walked to the park.

I felt so stuffed, like I had ate an elephant. He patted his stomach, how could he eat and still have such flat stomach. I feel like a hippopotamus he said

I laughed trying to picture that. I couldn't remember when last I laugh this much.

We laid down on the grass for a long time, comfortable in our silence and just looking at the sky and the stars. Sebastian made me feel normal, special, like I was a flower in a garden.

he turned on his side facing me, I reached out and touched his face.

His eyes watched me patiently.

I traced his nose with my finger, down to his top lip, swirling it to the angles of his cheekbones. He closed his eyes as I slowly played with his ears, I moved in and slowly and kissed him.

He curled his arms around me.

He kissed me wildly as if he was craving me all day. He moved so he was on to of me, his hard body pressed against mine, "Jane" he whispered, sucking on my bottom lip.

When he released my lips, he was panting. He rested his forehead against mine for a minute before moving away and laid on the grass beside me, placing his arms on his eyes.

"Sebastian?" I called uncertainly.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry I need a minute" he answered his jaw tensed and body hot. I reached out to touch him. "Unless you change your mind and you are ready to make love with me then just stay there and don't move" He said

"Don't worry, I told you I'll wait" he removed his arms and gazed at him. "Sometimes I just want to take you" Do you understand what I am saying?

I nodded, unable to say anything

"Wanna come back here again some time with me?"

"Yes" I answered

Look at that you're already falling for me he said with a grin on his face

my eyes got wider, he pull me tighter to him "You're worth the wait" and then he kiss me under the moonlight.