webnovel

Cultivator Battle Royale

Every year, a group of the weakest cultivators in the planet is offered the chance to compete in the Cultivation Battle Royale, a chance for them to rapidly gain power as they defeat other cultivators and risk their lives for valuable herbs, pills, and techniques. Xing Wenghu, The reincarnation of the Immortal 9 Quadrants Chicken Wing Emperor is chosen to enter. Having failed the Thunder Tribulation of moving out of his parents house, he risks life and limb to overtake the other "Bizarre" cultivators he competes against. A satirical parody of many cultivation tropes, stories and characters.

SmilesS · Fantasia
Classificações insuficientes
10 Chs

Rise (1)

Xing Wenghu was ready to get started on his intense training regime for the Cultivator Battle Royale, he couldn't shake the feeling that out there was someone.

Someone who was clearly much more powerful than him had been training their ass off to face slap him worse than a young master in the average cultivation novel.

Sadly, the heart demon Xing Wenghu contained from his previous love and the vile jade beauty who had betrayed him made him lazy.

Every day he kept saying "Tommorow...I'll just cultivate tomorrow..." and not doing anything relevant with himself.

Xing Wenghu's mother on the other hand was ecstatic to see her son had been entered successfully into the Cultivator Battle Royale.

Finally this useless fuck was going to do something with his life!

Xing Wenghu's mother despised how lazy her son had been. She had showered him with money, all the foods and gifts he wanted and everything a young man could possibly desire.

However, all Xing Wenghu kept doing was being a lazy motherfucker, refusing to actually dedicate time to any form of cultivation or meaningful achievements in his life.

It was very disappointing to her, having to deal with her son being such an imbecile.

While everyone else's children moved on to achieve grander things, or to join a sect of some kind or to do just about anything with their lives..

Xing Wenghu's mother had to deal with seeing her annoying son all day, lazing around the house and deciding not to cultivate.

But this was secretly a blessing in disguise.

The heavens had smiled upon her, to give her such a useless son!

Xing Wenghu's weakness, laziness and delusion made him the prime candidate to enter the Cultivator Battle Royale!

Where he would either get his ass beat hard enough to make him stop being delusional.

Or he would get rich, successful and make his mother proud.

Xing Wenghu's mother was being extra nice to him in the time that she had left with him before he was taken away by the Cultivation Battle Royale officials.

She had to leave a great impression on him, so he wouldn't forget her if he won.

It was only a few days left before then. "Oh joy, the Heaven's will take that stupid boy away from me!"

Xing Wenghu's mother was in such a good mood, finally he would be gone.

She could enjoy all the time away from him to herself for once.

Right now she was preparing his favorite chicken tenders to take up to his room, Xing Wenghu excitedly ran downstairs to retrieve them instead. "Thank you mother, I shall eat this well!"

Just as quickly as he had come down, Xing Wenghu ran up with his food. "Just a few more days... Just a few more days..." Xing Wenghu's mother whispered to herself.

Xing Wenghu meanwhile after eating his meal at record pace now begun his "training". He trained by reading the sacred formulas, that recorded the techniques of thousands of daoists before him!

And by that, we really mean he read Manhuas and copied techniques from them.

A shameless tactic, but if Xing Wenghu was to recover even one hundredth of the power he had in his former life. Then no tactic was shameless indeed!

Spending several hours of comprehending the dao of online Manhuas, Xing Wenghu had mastered all of the techniques he needed to bring to the Cultivator Battle Royale in merely a day.

He stood in front of his mirror, facing it and practicing his dramatic catch phrases and techniques.

"Courting Death!?!?!?!" Xing Wenghu shouted, before preforming a precisely aggressive finger poke against his mirror. This in turn would cause a great tragedy from within his soul.

As Xing Wenghu broke his finger from the force he used to press it against the mirror. He twisted it, looking down at his finger with sadness and pain.

"AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He screamed, his mother taking a deep breath. "Not again..."

Xing Wenghu clutched his finger in pain, trying to use his ancient twenty bone technique to resettle the finger back to normal.

"This daoist must burn atleast five years of his internal energy to set it right! But I must recover, for the battle royale!"

Xing Wenghu concentrated his "Qi" and aggressively shoved his finger back into place.

However, in the process he broke another finger which elicited a second loud scream.

"I hate this fucking kid..."

Meanwhile, in a land far far away. A mysterious figure was training in the forest.

Several wooden dummies were laid around him. He brandished his blade, concentrating on the sheer edge of his soul and projecting it outward.

All of the dummies one by one began to split in half, as if slashed perfectly by the sword.

Yet the figure had not made a single movement, nay it was by pure edginess that he slashed everything around him.

Even the blades of grass were neatly trimmed by his edge.

"Hmph. This will do. I swear by my honor, I will avenge the Yubiha Clan in the Cultivator Battle Royale as Nakuke!!!!"

He shouted to the woods, having to finish at-least 1 dramatic scream in solitude before resuming his training again.

This series has been picked back up by me.

I will be aiming for one chapter daily, two or three if I become able to post more frequently for this. I will soon be releasing multiple other novels this coming week.

SmilesScreators' thoughts