Acceptance

Luna went to work looking different than usual, she dressed casually but looked formal with her black jeans and white oversized shirt which she tucked in a belt. She dressed like her 38 year-old self. But only her face looks younger, she doesn't use much makeup, just eyeliner and eyebrows with a bit of blush on and it makes her face look even younger. She tied her hair in a ponytail which she never had before. She's been here for almost two months and she lost a few kilos already and fit to her S size but still has to wear sized L on m)phosis thanks to her yoga combined with intermittent fasting on 20:4 and no sugar diet.

She couldn't deny that she's back to the past for good. She's been thinking; did she die? In her sleep? Was it COVID? She almost never went out ever since she went back from Dubai and Beijing except for when she had to have a meeting with a client but she mostly opted for google meeting or virtual meeting since she doesn't like driving through traffic. But she's back home three months before Wuhan's lockdown and didn't hear anything about Dubai's COVID.

She remembered her home in Jakarta. She misses the time when she's making money by clicking on the keyboard and doesn't have to meet clients face to face or go to the office from 9 to 6. She missed crypto trading and her Huawei P30pro which she just bought in China. She missed the time when she's puffing Vape instead of this bloody expensive Marlboro.

She tried to make her own Vape. But the liquid was hard to make and she almost gave up. But she realized one thing when she went to a bar at Clarke Quay last weekend, it looked so similar to hookah. But it's too troublesome to take hookah everywhere so she tried to make a miniature Hookah.

She realized that her mind often ran off like a hamster on the wheel each time she walked from the office to the MRT station. She remembers the stuff she used to like and the stuff she had in 2005 and it turns out her preference, style, haircut got no similarity from her future self except for her hate toward expensive brands that she could've afford in 2019 and she still wouldn't buy those brands.

She waited for a month to make sure that she wouldn't suddenly wake up back in 2019 to buy monochromatic color clothes with simple styles such as turtlenecks, simple shirts, and denim pants. And it's on 70% sale, she bought Mango, Zara, some Giordano and Hangteen. She kept most of her short shorts, tube top and tank top with monochromatic color. And gave out most of her clothes to her flatmate. And she's been thinking of going back to Jakarta to cut her hair. It's bloody expensive to get a haircut here, she's been self-cutting her bangs which she used to do in the future.

She's been trying to remember the stuff that's going to happen and jolt it down on her small, black diary-like notebook. She remembers most of the noteworthy stuff but forgot the exact date. She wrote a list of stuff that's going to happen in the future but she doesn't remember any toto or sweep draw winning number.

She wrote:

2005?

With no smartphone, no nonsensical thing, nothing to prevent except for satisfying break up with that arse.

Why?

2019?

What happened after I fell asleep?

COVID?

Why did I wake up on May 21st and what's the meaning of 7:10am?

She's listening to the old song she had on her phone and deleted some which she doesn't like anymore. And at times like this, she really wishes she had her smartphone. She arrived at her station and went to buy some groceries at NTUC and she remembered something, pulled out her notebook and started to write something. And she just about to walk into the elevator to the HDB when her flatmate texted her.

Tina: wanna hang out? ladies night MOS 8pm

Luna: sure, cu there