One; Trouble in Paradise

It's been a week since I got here.

I really miss home cooked meals, my mom and everyone at home. Here we oftenly skip meals then combine them into one meal. Also we have an unhealthy diet. I guess our busy schedules don't allow us to focus on healthy living. Being a comrade isn't as easy as I thought.

But all in all, I am trying to get used to being far from home although I call them thrice a day and we text whenever I'm free.

I keep thinking about every one back at home and the challenges they are facing while am away. It's not like I prevent challenges from getting to them but I make them feel better as life's brutal stages keep knocking them out.

For example my mom is trying to handle the intense pressure of having a cowife just because she doesn't have a male child.

Her in-laws think that mom must have a son so that she can be a good, capable and respectable woman in the society.

Yep, it sounds extreme, I know.

This situation has made her self-esteem drop and she doesn't value herself anymore. She thinks it's her fault. But I know they don't deserve her.

We keep reminding her that she is the best mother in the world and that she has managed to raise beautiful ladies who love and adore her.

Living in a society that is learned and yet has high levels of backwardness can be considered a waste of knowledge and education.

We are in the 21st century where somethings do not matter. Where boys and girls are equal and all children are blessings from God whether it's a girl or not. Where both genders have equal opportunities and they have high chances to succeed.

That is what motivates me to be successful so that I can prove the society wrong.

So that I can cover up my mom's " nakedness" from the face of society. I hope to bring pride, value and glory upon what they see towards my mother.

When I'm at home, my sisters and I try to remind her that we are strong because of her. I guess that keeps her going despite all the opinions and insults.

As my mind is wrapped around my family, Lilaa walks in. She appears to be gloomy, she doesn't even say good morning.

"Didn't they teach you etiquette at school? After a good night sleep, we usually say good morning to people we met after waking up! It is the little things that count Lilaa, the little things." I say sarcastically.

On a normal day, she would have smiled and told me to shut up but today, she gives me the look.

That look that gives you chills and makes you feel like you're having all symptoms of Malaria from high fever to dizziness, a headache, name them all.

That side eye look that parents give their kids when ever they mess up.

An awkward silence feels the air. Something doesn't feel right.

I struggle to remember anything inappropriate that I could have said to her that could have damaged her feelings.

She then throws herself on the bed and begins to cry.

I rub her back telling her it's ok.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I genuinely ask.

She doesn't answer me for a while then she shakes her head and says it's nothing.

"It doesn't look like nothing, I mean look at you, your so, your so blue today." I tell her.

She then takes her phone and shows me a video of her that was sent to the school's social media group and had been circulating in the internet.

I view the 42 second video and what goes through mind is that who ever made the video had an intention of destroying her social life.

The video was clearly ment for body shaming her and burying her strong personality.

Then the comment section was even worse . No one bothered to stop the injustice taking place or should I say crime. Yeah , that was a form of cyber bullying which is legally considered to be a criminal offence.

But people view it as a petty thing. Others say it is harmless fun.

I give her tight hug as she bursts into tears, sobbing. I have never seen her like this, she mostly doesn't care what people think of her. She has that 'I don't care' personality.

I remember when we were kids and Lilaa got hurt while playing. Yeah it was a serious injury and she had to be stitched. She never shaded a tear. And I guess from that day I believed she was so tough that nothing could ever hurt her.

So me seeing her like this, really surprised me.

On the other hand, I felt so bad for her.

They talked about her hair, her weight, to the shape of her nose, her hairline, her lips and they went on and on that I couldn't continue reading since it was getting too personal.

I held her in my arms assuring her that she will be alright.

To add salt to the injury, everyone reposted, and shared the video. Even her friends.

The video spread like wild fire.

" I'm sick of this!" She says this as she pushes me away, disgust being written all over her face.

" Sick of what, " I ask her so innocently.

" Everyone treating me like trash. The person who sent the video captioned,'Lilaa, no hard feelings LOL' As if I'm supposed to let it slide and laugh about it. Like am supposed to accept the joke. Just because I'm so called strong doesn'tean I don't have feelings. " She talks with a lot of pain in her voice

"Don't generalize people who love and adore you with those who have hurt you. At least now you know the type of people your friends are and your family is always with you. That is because we love the real you. And I know it going to be hard for you but I'm here if you need anything." I try to reassure her.

"You know it's going to be hard? What do you know Lis? You can't even understand half of what I'm going through and that's because you have never experienced it. You are not the one who's face is being revised like a textbook. So when you tell me that you know it's going to be hard and no one has ever bullied you, that is mockery."

I try to keep my mouth shut but still her words stings me.

"Why are you vexed with me? I'm not the one who wrote those comments on the video or shared it and yet I get to pay for being cornered about you. I'm not the enemy Lilaa . I'm on your side and I care a lot but why are you putting all your anger towards me?" I say those words as I look right through her eyes.

"Oh please, stop pretending like you care. Maybe your just happy about my current situation. I know I'm not as smart as you or caring and I know I'm a rebel and rude that's why our family loves you more. So when I decided to find people who won't judge me and who will love me for me and you saw how popular I am on social media and how I have so many friends at school, of course it made you jealous. I'm sure since my friends have turned against me your happy because your competitor has fallen." The rage that Lilaa had while speaking this words made me believe that she sincerely ment what she said.

"Lilaa, what are you saying? First of all I'm not jealous of you let alone being your competitor. Secondly, and I'm sorry to say this but I think you have been soo busy proving yourself to people who don't care about you that you have created this perspective that your family don't see who you are. Your family loves you, I love you, the real you, whether you use filters or not you are beautiful in my eyes. Listen, stop focusing on what we think of you and show yourself a little love. Be your number one fun. And don't compare yourself to me cause in my eyes you are a goddess and I really admire you."

I knew if I waited for Lilaa to respond to what I just told her, we would continue arguing and so, as soon as I told her those words I took my books and left for class.

I know she is angry and she just wants to use me as a punching bag but I want her to absorb what I've told her so I'll avoid her through out the day and if she wants to talk, I'll be there.

I don't know if it's the right thing, leaving her alone at this time when she needs me the most but I want her to think things through.

I want her to conquer this moment and be an inspiration.