Trying to cope

**Meier's Manor****

I squinted my eyes, as I felt sudden rays of brightness on my face, the sensation was too unconfortable, so I shielded my face with my hand.

''Ugghhh ! '' I don't appreciate the early disturbance, I tried opening my eyes, but the process was taking forever, it was like my eyes were glued together, compelling me to give up my protest, and go back to sleep. But I can't ! I felt exposed, as if I was in a public conference with a lot of cameras' lights flashing at me, like its prey. At least that was how my brain interpreted it at the moment. I could feel the tinkling of my lashes on my cheeks, as my eyeslids were fluttering involuntering.

Slowly, I opened my eyes, but immediately turned to my right side, as it was too bright on my left. I was still a little dazed, as I stared blankly on a wall, that was in my line of view. I felt empty, in fact, I don't even know the colour of the wall! What's a wall? What's a colour? What language is this?.....

The click of the door being shut, helped my foggy brain to clear. I abruptly sat up, as my eyes darted warily across the room, it was spacious, colourful, with a lot of unnecessary things, that were not even needed in a room, the walls looked bright blue. Slowly, I came out of my daze...OH! This looks more like my room...It is my room!

I turned my focuse to my window, and saw that my curtains, had been pulled aside, exposing my room to the harsh sun rays.

'' Fudge nuggets!!!! '' I cursed under my breath, what a cruel thing to do to a sleeping beauty, like me. My lips pursed, as I glanced at the door. I had an idea who came in, and I hope she won't come back any time soon.

I slumbed back on my bed and buried my head in my blanket, forcing myself to get more sleep. Not ready to face the day yet.

But I wasn't sleepy any more. [Better get started with the day already!] my brain advised, but my petty mindset won't listen.

I will show them I can still sleep peacefully, in a bright room. I was literally suffocating myself under the blanket, it was getting hot, and I could feel sweats forming on my hairlines, and dripping on my forehead. Summer was never my best season, but I never had problem with it, until now.

I stilled my body, as I heard my door creek, even held my breath, as I tried to pretend asleep.

'' Ebele?....'' Footsteps approached my bedsides.

'' Ebele?" The tone was kind, Mrs Ranchi Pandey, had a gentle soul.

Although, I wanted to stay longer in bed, just like the spoiled brat, that everyone sees me as!, yet I equally don't want to make her work stressful.

I peeked through my blue blanket '' Yes, Ranchi'' I answered in a low voice. She had always preferred, I address her by her first name. I had no problem with it too, it made me feel more closer to her.

She was towering over me, but nothing was intimidating about it, because her expression was friendly just like always.

'' Your parents are waitng for you at the breakfast table '' She informed me.

I frowned. '' How so ? Isn't it too early for that?'' I got up from the table, and stretched my arms.

'' Ebele, it's almost noon '' she answered with a light chuckle.

'' What!!!!! '' I was sure my eyes popped, like those of my favourute anime!

I picked my alarm from my bedside, and sure enough it was 11: 25 a.m. I placed it back, where it belongs. My alarm was a fish, its colour was of blue, and white stripes.

'' But why do I still feel exhausted, after sleeping for more than seven hours?'' I wondered quietly.

'' Ughhhhh !!!!! '' I groaned, as I saw my face and hair in the mirror. My black liner, and shiny eyeshadow were smeared on my eyes. I looked like a zombie, that has been electricuted! Can you picture that ?

I wonder how Mrs Pandey was able to keep her smile with me looking like this. And it was all my fault. I would have to freshen up, before going down, and it would take a while. My family like eating lunch even before 12 : 00 noon.

'' I don't think I can make it, just tell them I won't be coming down for lunch'' I took my huge blue pin from my pin stack, and pin my sturbbon hair, into a bedhead bun.

'' I'm sure they won't be happy about it, darling. You missed breakfast already ''

'' Geez! But I don't want them to wait!!'' I bit my lips.

'' Then tell them I'm on my period, and it's driving me crazy. AHHH!'' I began shedding crocodile tears. ''Just don't stand there, go tell them. Ahhhhh!...Ughhhhh!' I raised my voice more and more.

'' Ebele, will quit behaving like a baby '' Her tone was serious, but her eyes were still smiling. I pouted my lips, with my big brown eyes blinking, like a sad puppy.

'' Okay! okay! now stop already I will get going now. '' She looked so done with my childish behaviour.

'' If you need me for anything let me now, okay? '' I nodded with a sweet smile. She returned the smile, before leaving. I felt relieve, that I won't be facing any family drama soon.

This was actually the first time, in forever, that I've woken up so late. I wonder why MrsPandey did not bother waking me.

My morning ritual was all messed up, and it was his fault, I felt so angry at myself for calling Hut last night, even Rupert had not replied to my chat yet... These two brothers are just driving me crazy.

Before closing the door quietly. I let out a sign of relieve, as I was not ready for any family drama. My morning routine was messed up, and it was all his fault. I shouldn't have called him last night, the conversation only worsened my mood.

I almost don't have anything to do everyday, unlike my classmates who had works or family to keep busy with. I slept by 4:15 a.m, and was too tired to carry out my usual night routine, as a result my skin was covered in tiny red rashes. I couldn't stand my bad breath any longer, so I hurried to the bathroom.

** ** ** **

I was strugling to wear my earring, because my long curled hair was getting in the way, It was starting to get frustrating.

Not really a fan of long hair, the only reason I wear my hair long was to make my face appear smaller than they are. Did I say that out loud?.....

Well, since I'm likely going to stay at home all day, I would rather bundle them up..

I styled it in my usual chic bun, but I did add a little twist, by pulling out a few face~framing pieces, and clipped my bun with a big blue flower hairpin. I was satisfied with my work.

I actually felt much better after I had taken a shower. My peach shampoo did its wonders, just as usual I felt smooth and silk like a newborn. I rolled my eyes at my childlike thoughts.

''Your mum made me prepare a hungover soup for you.'' Mrs Pandey said, as she entered my room, wearing her usuall smile.

'' And she also knew you were lying.'' she winked at me.

My eyes widened. '' How is that even possible? '' I exclaimed.

'' You didn't say anything, did you?'' I squinted my eyes at her, in suspicious.

''Of course not!'' She was quick to cover up.

''you're just very bad in lying darling, wasn't it two weeks ago, that your period ended? ''

Ohh! Why didn't I think of that? I taped my forehead in disbelieve.

'' Was she mad? '' I asked sheepishly.

Mrs Pandey shook her head. '' She's in fact in a very good mood today!''

'' Then why do I have to drink this soup? I told her last night, that I was not drunk!! Why can't she believe me for once?''

'' Your mum is just worried about you. '' She commented in a gentle voice.

'' She's simply trying to punish me?'' I stared at the soup in disgust.

She let out a hearty chuckle at my protest, but suddenly stopped smiling, as if she just remembered something.

'' How was your night ? '' She enquired, with a worried look.

'' I'm no longer a child now. Whatever they say, doesn't hurt me anymore'' I gave her a reasuring smile.

'' I was not asking about that silly, I knew by now, you can handle anything thrown your way. I just wanted to be sure you had a good night of sleep. It's unlike you to skip your morning Yoga.''

'' I came back late, so I couldn't wake up early.'' I sighed.

Having little to nothing to do everyday can be very depressing, but my daily To~do list really helped me to cope up. Unfortunately today, I felt so lost, I'm kind of someone that don't take changes lightly, I would always need a little time, to let it sink.

'' Is that all, so nothing is you? '' I nodded, not wanting to worry her. I didn't blink my eyes, as she studied me for a long moment.

'' Okay cupcake, I will believe you this time'' She tilted her head.

I felt like shrieking. '' I'm not a baby!!!!! Please '' She smiled lovely at me, I was almost tempted to return the gesture.

Mrs Pandey, then helped me with my earring, that I was struggling with.

'' Drink this up, I will be on my way now. Do you need anything else?'' I was about to shake my head, but recalled etwas.

'' Yeah! I would like these blanket to be changed. The summer isn't taking it easy on me, I nearly suffocated '' I might be exasgerating a bit.

'' I will send for your Vellux blanket'' She was about leaving, but I stopped her.

'' On a second thought, I would prefere cotton this time around, it also get cold in the night sometimes.''

''Okay, then I will send Cora to make the changes.'' She glance at the soup.

'' Hattie will be here soon, so you better be through with it '' I nodded, and watched as she made her way out.

I glared at the soup [Katzenjammersuppe] like my worst enemy. ''Why should I drink you? '' I muttered under my breath. My headache felt better than it was last night, so I totally don't need this. But in order not to fall on my mum's bad side I will try and drink it.

I scouped few spoons of the soup, but avoided the sausages, and was careful not to eat the onions as well....**

I finished up my soup with this methode, by the time I was done, I realized just how gross my table manner was at that moment. I was someone that cared a lot about what I eat and how I do so. And I'm typically picky. I covered the soup bowl, took my cutie handmade hobo bag, and sprang out of my room, and headed towards the steps, because I would go crazy soon enough, if I don't go out a bit. I was relieved my parents were not in the living room, so I sneaked into the kitchen, and took some fruits and sandwitches.

I wouldn't consider it stealing, since Mrs Pandey specifically always make them for me, she knew and to top that, I missed both breakfast and lunch. Why

I went straight, and swung the refrigerator aside, so I can access the fridge, then took out the blue lunch box, one apple and a bunch of cherry.

My bag was big enough to contain them, except for my bottle of water, that I held in my hand. I went outside, following through the backyard patio that lead down to our garden.

****

The sun was exceptionally happy today, as it shone brilliantly in the clear, blue sky. It's rays dabbling through the trees, creating interesting shadows. A sap floral scent of flowers wrapped around me, as I walk through the garden, it has a hint of fruity flavour, that was comforting to the soul. I headed towards the pergola and got seated on one of the wooden carved chairs, I leaned back with my eyes closed, as I maintained the exact position for some time before checking my phone. Rupert had already read my message but no reply from him yet.

Yah! I get that he might be busy with school, but it's pass noon already!, for God's sake! there is always multiple break period in Germany. The only explaination was that he doesn't want to talk, I'm so not liking this sassy side of him.

I took out my lunch, and began chewing down on them, inflicting all my frustrations at every bite. Sandwich was my favourite food, so it helped calmed my nerves. After I was done eating, I took out my iPad and started working on my designs, occasionally, biting on my fruits in between.

I felt stress~free, as I poured my creativity and concentration on my work, this was like my own self therapy, whenever I felt the need to escape reality.

though it's always a momentary fix, it was much better than sucidal thoughts.

***