19. Chapter 19

Author's Note: Just breathe. This is going to be a hard one.

Erin tapped aimlessly on the steering wheel as she sat at a red light just a few blocks from the precinct. She had just dropped Daniel off at the babysitters for an hour or so. Hank told her should could have the day off, but he needed her to sign a few things that wrapped up their last case. Normally, he'd let it slide, but with Thanksgiving tomorrow, he wanted everything taken care of before everybody disappeared for the holidays. It would be a skeleton crew even over the weekend, with the maximum number of people taking time off. Erin hated leaving Daniel when he was sick, but she knew she'd back in just a little over an hour. He'd still been a bit fussy this morning, but he'd ate some of the applesauce she'd offered and he drank a full cup of the Pedialyte. Without Jay to help with the medicine, she'd had a little more difficulty getting him to open his mouth, but eventually most of it had ended up down his throat.

Jay. Erin bit her lip, thinking about last night. Those few moments when they had given into their passion had been electrifying, yet it hadn't been their kissing that had kept her up most of the night. Instead, she'd been tortured by images of Jay playing with Daniel and a more bothersome image of Jay holding a tiny baby. The thoughts of what could be and might be someday had caused Erin to toss and turn past midnight.

Erin pulled up to the precinct and had just put her car in park, when she realized there was someone standing in front of her car. Leaning against the fence where she normally parked was a young officer she recognized. Absolutely recognized, as someone she had last seen in Jay's darkened apartment several weeks ago.

Erin slipped out of her car and allowed herself to look distracted as she pulled her bag out of the back seat of her car. She hoped the young woman would walk away. She hoped that her position was just a coincidence, and that she wasn't actually there waiting for someone. With her eyes lowered, Erin gave her a quick nod, and started to walk passed her.

"Detective Lindsay," the officer spoke out, stepping out from her resting spot against the chain link fence and blocking Erin's path.

Erin reluctantly paused, shifting the weight of her bag a bit, and looked expectantly at the officer. "Um, Officer Kane?" she inquired. Erin hadn't worked with her often, and wasn't positive on her name.

"Crane, Jennifer or Jenn Crane." The officer corrected, obviously nervous.

She looked Officer Crane over, and Erin was less than pleased. The girl was cute. Not cutesy or drop dead gorgeous, but attractive. Long brown hair, braided tightly in the back. Striking blue eyes, that caused Erin to be reminded of Jay's own eyes. A little taller than Erin, slender but athletic. Erin waited to hear whatever was on the girl's mind. She was sure this was going to be an uncomfortable conversation.

"Is it even over between the two of you?" Jenn inquired, and Erin saw the nerves that the young officer was dealing with. She admired that Jenn didn't beat around the bush, even if it wasn't something Erin wanted to talk about or think about.

"I think you're asking the wrong person." Erin responded. She tried to keep all emotion from her voice. Why was she coming to her, and not Jay? What was the exact relationship between these two? And what the hell was Jay doing kissing her last night if he was involved with someone else!

Jenn nodded, "I know. Jay told me you guys were done, but I just wanted to hear it from you." She bit her lip nervously. "I, ah, respect you, Detective, and I wouldn't want to cause a problem." Erin felt rage fill her. Jay said they were done? When exactly had he had this conversation with Officer Crane. Monday night when he was holding her hand and telling her she was all he was ever going to want, or last night when he was holding her nephew, making her dinner, or had his tongue down her throat. Erin just shook her head in disbelief. This girl was certainly going to be a problem. Not for her and Erin, but clearly for Erin and Jay.

After the last week, Erin felt physically ill finding out he actually was seeing someone. She had suspected when she had caught Ruzek and the girls in Jay's apartment, but a part of her had just told herself it probably wasn't serious. She'd kind of held out hope that maybe it was just a hangout thing. He'd spent most of the week giving her those soft-eyed looks that twisted up her heart and made her believe in possibilities. What on Earth was he doing talking about them getting back together if there was some other girl? Erin tried to slam a door on those feelings as she faced the girl in front of her.

"Listen, Jay and I broke up months ago, so he's free to do what he wants." Erin tried to keep the anger she was feeling from showing. She saw a crease form in Jenn's brow, and she could tell that she was more than just inquiring about their past relationship.

The girl looked away for a moment, before meeting Erin's eyes, "He said that, too, but you showed up at his place that one night, and then in the last week, he hasn't returned any of my texts or calls. A friend saw you guys at Molly's a few nights ago." Her eyes looked so vulnerable. She shrugged a bit. "I just really like him, and I don't want to get played."

Damn, Jay. Erin was pissed that she was being put into this situation. She had her own mixed up feelings toward Jay, yet here she was trying to placate another girl that was falling for him. The girl seemed so sweet, and it irritated her to no end that Jay was playing games with her. Apparently with both of them.

Erin sighed audibly, "Listen Jenn, Jay and I are not together." She cringed at the relieved look that crossed the other girl's face. "But…do you want me to be honest with you?"

Doubt filled Jenn's face, but she nodded.

Erin continued, "I'm not saying this as a jealous ex-girlfriend. You came to me, so I suspect you might already realize this. Jay and I do have some unresolved…issues...feelings? I don't know how to describe it. It's over, but it's not done, if you get what I mean." She saw a pained look cross Jenn's face, "He's probably not looking for something serious if that is what you are hoping for." As she watched tears fill the girl's eyes, Erin felt bad for her. She knew that girls fell easily for Jay. I mean, she'd had a crush on him herself, probably less than a week after she met him.

Jenn sniffed a bit, and Erin could tell that she was trying to hold back her tears, "No, I think I did know. I was just hopeful, you know?" Erin did know. She knew what it was like to hope for something with Jay. She'd hoped for it secretly for so long, and then been delighted when a relationship with him was all that she had anticipated. Jay had been a great boyfriend, and Erin wasn't surprised this girl had hoped for something real with him. Of course, right now, Erin thought he was scum. Trying to play two girls at once.

As if the fates willed him to appear, Jay's car pulled into the parking lot. Erin noted the moment he saw the two women standing together. His car jolted to a halt, despite only being partially pulled into his parking spot. Both ladies just stared at his car as he eased it into its spot. Several seconds went by, and Erin believed that Jay could have easily have exited his vehicle by now.

Jenn, obviously having had enough, muttered a quick bye and scurried away toward the building. Once she had left, Erin just leaned against the fence and crossed her arms, waiting for the little chicken to emerge from his car. Jay did, with a clearly, hesitant look on his face. He gave her a nod in greeting as he approached.

Despite the turmoil she was feeling, Erin decided she was going to try and be the better person. "You should probably go after her."

Jay have a quick look the way that Jenn had gone, then he turned his attention back to Erin and gave her a long glance. "No, I probably shouldn't."

Erin leveled her eyes at him, "She's a nice girl."

Jay made a face at her, "So? You giving me dating advice?"

Erin shook her head, "No, but she doesn't deserve to be ghosted. If you want to break up with her, call her and break up with her."

"I'm not ghosting her!" Jay complained. "There's no breaking up that needs to be done. We went on a handful of dates and that is it." He looked down at Erin, "I wasn't feeling it and you know why." His voice was low as he said the words.

The calm that Erin had tried to hold onto during her talk with Jenn started to evaporate. "If you are dating her, you shouldn't have been kissing me!"

Jay looked around in frustration, "I have not talked or texted her since the moment I found out the truth, Erin."

Erin shook her head, anger and pain, filling her. "I can't talk about this with you, right now. I need to get inside and then leave." She turned and started hurrying away.

"Erin!" Jay chased after her, his hand reaching for her elbow. "Stop! This doesn't change anything and you know it!"

Erin spun around in anger. Her eyes blazing. "How can you say that the fact that you are seeing someone else doesn't change anything?"

Anger now flared in Jay, "You are just using this as another excuse to run away, Erin!"

Erin looked at him, fighting tears of anger. She just stared at him in disbelief. Shaking her head, she took a few steps back. "Stay away from me, Jay." At that, she spun away and raced toward the building, leaving Jay standing alone on the sidewalk.

She had put herself out there so much for Jay. Telling him the truth about Daniel and Olive. Sharing what was going on in her life. Sharing her fears and concerns. He'd always been the only person she'd trusted with her heart. Maybe her thoughts were irrational, but she just felt so betrayed.

Erin had managed to partially calm herself by the time she made it into the squad room. She'd did a quick wave at everyone and bee lined it straight into Hank's office, slamming the door behind her.

Hank looked up in surprise, "Erin! What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" She dropped into the chair, "What do you need me to sign?"

Hank eyed her worriedly. "Is it Danny?"

Erin let out an exasperated sigh, "No. It's personal." She grabbed a pen off of Hank's desk, and she held it poised to sign. She looked at Hank expectantly. "Let's do this. I want to go pick up Daniel."

Erin knew that by saying it was personal, Hank pretty much knew that it had to do with Jay. His eyes rose, and looked out the window behind her, where he had a clear shot to see Jay. Erin assumed he had just arrived at his desk. Hank narrowed his eyes a bit, then decided to drop it.

He pulled out a few folders and pushed them across the desk toward Erin. She spent a few minutes signing and reading over things, and then she was done. She stood up, and she took a deep breath before heading out into the squad room. She'd hoped to make a quick exit, but was stopped by Ruzek.

"Hey, Erin. How's that nephew of yours? Heard he was sick. Thanksgiving still on?" he asked.

Erin stopped mid stride and turned to face Ruzek, who unfortunately sat right behind Jay's desk. "Yeah, he's getting better. Tomorrow is still on. 4 o'clock."

"You need any help with the turkey?" Ruzek questioned, "Cause I am counting on a delicious bird."

Erin forced a smile, not allowing herself to look over at Jay. It was bad enough she could see him in her peripheral vision. "Hank's going to come by tonight to help prep the turkey for tomorrow." It wasn't true, although he had volunteered this morning when he had called her in. At that time, she'd imagined Jay would more than likely be stopping by and she'd assumed they would prep together. Now she made sure Jay heard that Hank would be at her place tonight. She knew that would detour him from trying to stop by and talk to her. She had no desire to talk or hear his excuses at this moment.

At that, Erin quickly said good bye and left. As she drove to pick up Daniel, she had to keep taking deep breaths to control her emotions. She knew that she didn't really have a right to be angry at Jay. Her brain just wasn't functioning rationally. All she could imagine was Jay with this other girl. The thoughts made her sick and cause a panicked feeling. Last night she had seriously considered that maybe, just maybe, she could imagine a forever and family with Jay. She just knew this was a sign that it just wasn't in the cards for her. She couldn't even hold on to the dream for a day.

…

By afternoon, Erin questioned if she had lost her mind when she thought she could cook Thanksgiving dinner by herself. Her kitchen was a disaster of preparations. Her only saving grace was that Daniel had decided to take a nap after lunch. Eyeing the clock, she hoped he would sleep another hour or two at least.

Suddenly she heard a knocking at the door. Wondering if maybe Hank had decided to stop by after all, she hurried over. She wanted to grab the door before another knock potentially woke Daniel. Swinging the door open, she resisted the urge to slam it back shut. Jay shouldered his way in, not waiting for an invitation that he rightly would not get.

"I don't want you here." Erin stated, crossing her arms over her chest as he passed her.

Jay strode into the living room, ignoring her. "Well, you are going to listen to- what the hell happened to you?" He stared at her in disbelief.

Erin glanced down and realized she was covered with a variety of ingredients from egg to flour to cream. While she was confident that she was a decent cook, neatness was not a trait of hers. Especially when she was out of practice with the whole cooking and planning thing.

"I'm cooking!" Erin stated obviously. "And I'd like to get back to it, so leave!"

Jay's eyes ran from her head to her toes and back up again, a look of concern. "Are you sure about tomorrow, Erin. I mean. It looks like you are having a hard time." He reached in his pocket for his phone. "I can call somewhere and see if we can get one of those meals you just go and pick up-"

"Jay! Go home! I don't want to talk, and I certainly don't need your help." Erin walked away from him, and headed back into the kitchen.

Ignoring her command, Jay made his way over to the kitchen as well, and his mouth dropped open in horror. "What did you kill in here?"

Erin pursed her lips in annoyance. "I don't have time for this."

Jay shrugged, "Well, I have the next 48 hours off, so I do have time for this."

Erin just glared at him. "Fine. You want to have your say. Talk. Then leave."

Jay looked at her and opened his mouth to talk. Then he shut it and just grinned. "I'm sorry. I just can't talk to you when you look like that." He motioned to his face, then to hers. "You've got flour all over here, and…" He scrunched up his nose and tilted his head in confusion. "I think there's…peanut butter? Or something brown on your ear."

Exasperated Erin stalked out of the room and headed to her bedroom. Once there, she tried to quiet her movements as she made her way to the bathroom. She cringed when she looked at the mirror. At least know she knew why Jay was looking at her with horror. It looked like a kitchen had exploded in her face. She quickly scrubbed it, and then slipped into a new shirt. When she returned to the other room, Jay was still standing in her living room, surveying the disaster of her kitchen in amazement.

"Okay. Talk." She told him curtly.

Jay walked close to her, and tried to place his hands on her shoulders. Erin ducked out of his embrace. She didn't want his physical closeness confusing her anger. He sighed at her reaction but began. "That girl means nothing to me. She never did, and she never will."

"Jenn." Erin stated, giving her a name. She wasn't some nameless girl. It was someone in the outskirts of Erin's life. Someone she was going to bump into and have to see over the years.

Jay exhaled a deep breath, "Yeah, Jenn." He looked deeply into Erin's eyes. "I met her a month ago. We went on a few dates, but I knew it wasn't going to be anything. It wasn't anything important."

Erin just glared at him.

"I called her as soon as you left. I made sure it was clear that she knew it wasn't going to happen." He looked at her pointedly, "I told her that I still want you."

Erin let out an exasperated breath. "You shouldn't have done that. Cause this ain't going to happen."

"Erin. Stop acting like this. I told you. The second you even gave me the slightest hint that there might be a possibility for us, I never called her again. I meant what I said, you're all I've ever wanted." Jay was looking at Erin with such desperation, that she knew he was telling her the truth. It didn't matter though, and Erin knew why. She didn't want to hear the truth, but she had to ask.

Her voice was barely a whisper, "Did you sleep with her?"

The pained look on Jay's face said enough, and Erin didn't even need to hear the words. That was why she was so upset. She knew the second Jenn had asked her if they were really over that it was because they had been sleeping together. A girl didn't get that crazy over a guy that they were just hanging out with.

"Oh my god," Erin turned her back on Jay, and closed her eyes to try and block out the image.

"It didn't mean anything, Erin. I promise." His voice sounded so distressed, and Erin knew that he regretted it. Her mind was just filled with so much pain that she couldn't even speak. Jay tried to explain. "We had been broken up for months. I was certain there was no chance for us. I was hurt and angry. It was just a few weeks after the Harris case, and I was still pretty messed up over that." She felt him step close to her, but smartly didn't actually touch her. "It was just one time, Erin, and I felt guilty immediately. I knew it was wrong because I wasn't over you."

Erin still continued to give no response. She just kept her back turned and eyes closed as she tried to keep some kind of control over her emotions.

Jay continued, his voice rising a bit, "I knew you were dating that Garcia guy. I couldn't handle that. I was crazy with jealousy and anger. I wasn't over you."

At that Erin spun around. "One date! I went on one date with him." She laughed bitterly, "And we talked about you during most of it."

Jay eyes her suspiciously, "So nothing happened there?"

Erin shrugged, "I didn't sleep with him, if that's what you are asking."

She saw a fountain of emotions fly across Jay's face, with relief winning. "I didn't know that." His expression moved into regret. "I didn't know," he repeated.

Erin just shook her head sadly. "It doesn't matter." She felt her anger start to leave. All she was left with was emptiness, hopelessness. Pain.

This time Jay wouldn't take the brush off, "No. I'm not going to let you use this as an excuse to push me away again. We weren't together, and I didn't think we'd ever be together again. I still want you, Erin. I know you still want a life with me. Last night showed that we are still great together."

"Just cause we get turned on when we kiss, doesn't mean we are great together, Jay. That could happen with anyone." She gave him a disgusted look, "Obviously."

Irritation shone in his blue eyes, "I didn't mean that part. I meant just us being together last night. Having dinner, talking, helping each other, playing with the kid. All that is what makes us great!" This time he did reach for her, his hands cupping her cheeks. "We fit, Erin, and I know you realize it, too. That's why we can never let each other go."

Erin looked at him defiantly, "You let me go."

"I didn't want to."

Erin just glared at him, "But you did. You say I pushed you away, but the truth is, you walked away from me this time. I wanted us desperately to stay together, but you left me. You moved on."

Jay let his hands drop. "What was I supposed to do, Erin? I asked you to marry me. You rejected me! Was I supposed to just hang around forever hoping you'd change your mind?" Jay let his own hurt out.

"Yes!" Erin yelled. "You were supposed to wait. You know I am not comfortable with this kind of stuff. Love, relationships, commitment. It was all so new to me, and I just felt like you were rushing me. It just took me longer to realize that I wanted it, too."

Jay took several deep breaths. He looked at her in confusion. "You-you want it too?" A light sparkled in his eyes at her comment. He tried to take a step closer to her.

Erin's hand flew up to stop him, pushing hard on his chest. "No. Not now."

He looked at her in disbelief. "Are you really going to blame me for something that happened when we weren't together?" His eyes blazed with emotion, "You know I would never cheat on you Erin. I love you."

"Yet, you were sleeping with someone else and didn't think to share that with me." Erin replied.

Jay's frustration at her was starting to turn to anger. "Why can't you forgive me, Erin? You know it didn't mean anything. We weren't together! How can you not forgive me when I-?" He broke off, shaking his head.

"When you what?" Erin crossed her arms in anger. She knew exactly what he was going to say. "Say it, Jay."

Jay just glared at her in anger, "Fine! I forgave you for sleeping around after Nadia died."

Erin just laughed, a hollow empty sound, that didn't truly show the hurricane of emotions that were inside her. "So what? This was payback for that?"

"No! It was just me trying to get over a broken heart, Erin." His eyes held a depth of emotion, that Erin didn't know if she'd ever seen before. "Do you have any idea how much that hurt? When we were together, I loved you so deeply. I literally could not imagine not waking up with you every single day for the rest of my life. After we broke up, I'd still wake up and think you were there with me. For months, I kept that stupid ring with me, thinking that you were going to just turn to me one day in the car and just tell me you wanted me. That you wanted us." He took a deep breath, "It wasn't paypack, Erin. It was just me trying to find out if I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life."

Erin's voice was low, almost a whisper as a realization dawned on her. "All we ever do it hurt each other."

Jay shook his head, "No."

Erin disagreed, "It's true. I hurt you, you hurt me. We can't move on because we just keep holding on to these dreams that are just that: dreams. I'm done dreaming, Jay."

Jay looked at her, "This isn't over. We aren't over."

"Yeah, I think we are." Erin stated. She needed him to go. She didn't think she could hold it in any longer. Her heart was breaking, and she didn't want to fall apart in front of him. Erin strode to the door and opened it. "Please go, Jay."

Jay stood still for a moment, just staring at her. Finally, he slowly walked to the door. He stopped when he got there. He looked down at her in anguish. He whispered softly, "Please forgive me, Erin. I love you."

Erin looked up at him, and saw tears in his eyes. Her heart broke, but she managed to keep her resolve. She didn't speak, just opened the door for him to go. Jay finally turned and angrily strode off, almost crashing into Hank who turned the corner at the same time he did. Jay just stormed on, continuing to the stairs and out of sight.

Hank made his way to Erin's door, "What's up with, Halst-? Erin, what's wrong?"

Seeing Hank, knowing that Jay was gone, every emotion that Erin had been holding back all day, suddenly flooded through her. Tears flowed freely and she started to cry. Great, big sobs that shook her whole body. Hank stepped forward immediately, taking her into his arms.

"Shh, shh, it's okay. I'm here." He carefully moved her back into her apartment, and shut the door behind them. "What happened? What did he do?"

Erin continued to cry, "Wh-why-why didn't I j-just say y-yes?" She looked up at Hank through the tears, "I loved him. I want to marry him. Why couldn't I just say yes? Why can't I just let myself be happy?"

Hank stroked her hair as she continued to cry, comforting her the best he could. When her cries started to subside, he spoke, "It's not too late. You know that boy still loves you."

Erin shook her head violently. "I ruined it. I hurt him and now he-" Even in her emotional state, Erin knew that she couldn't share the rest with Hank. While Erin might be angry and hurt by Jay's actions, there was no telling what Hank might do to him. He didn't deserve that.

"He what?" Hank questioned sternly.

Erin pulled back, wiping the tears from her cheeks and sniffing. "He wants me to forgive him."

"For?" Hank's eyes narrowed in concern.

Erin shook her head, "It doesn't matter. We don't work. We just need to get over it."

Hank waved her comment off, "Bullshit." Erin looked at him in surprise. "Erin, you know from the beginning that I didn't want you two together. That I was certain it was going to end in nothing by drama."

Erin interjected, "I get it. This is an I-told-you-so."

"No," Hank countered, "This is me telling you that I have never seen you happier then when you were with him." Hank pursed his lips as he thought about it. "The kid might get on my nerves, here and there. Likes to overstep, but there's never been a doubt that he cares for you, Erin." Hank shrugged, "I don't know if you two need to run off and get married, but I do know that you two work." He looked deep into her eyes, "That doesn't always come more than once in a lifetime, Erin. Trust me. I know."

"It's not supposed to be so hard." Erin begged. "Why can't we just get it together?"

"Marriage is hard. You think it wasn't hard for me and Camille? You think we didn't argue and fight. Making up and forgiveness was sometimes the best part."

Erin shook her head, "No, this is different."

Hank looked at her directly, "Is it? You don't know how things were." Erin looked at him. She had always imagined Hank and Camille as some sort of perfect couple. Two people who just loved each other and were devoted. But the truth was, she knew that Hank lived life that often crossed the line. How much of that life Camille had been aware of, she didn't know? Had that caused conflict? Hank looked at her seriously, "Do you love him?"

Erin nodded. "I do, but..."

Hank interrupted, "Can you imagine spending every day with him for the rest of your life?"

Erin let out a shaky breath, "Of course. We already do."

"Then is there really anything that is so unforgivable to keep that from happening?"

Erin just stared at Hank, lost in thought. Could she forgive him? Her heart just hurt so much, knowing that he'd been with someone else so recently. That while she'd been struggling and dealing with Olive and Daniel, he'd been hooking up with someone else. Her brain kept telling her that they'd been apart. He'd been free to do what he wanted, but how could she really explain that to her heart. It had been so bruised throughout the ending of their relationship, and she knew opening herself back up to him could just hurt it worse.

Last night after Jay had left, she had seriously daydreamed about what a life would Jay might look like if they got married and had kids. While the idea had terrified her, she also had been filled with a kind of excitement. To go on that adventure with Jay, it just didn't seem as scary. Then everything fell apart again.

She tried to put herself in Jay's shoes and how he must have felt last year when it became clear to him that she was with someone else. While they'd never discussed it, during their time apart, she'd been with other men. She'd tried anything to block the grief of Nadia's death. That one night when Jay had stormed in, guns blazing, to find Landen on her couch. The look on his face and been clear that he knew the guy wasn't just some buddy she was hanging out with. After she'd sobered up and they'd resumed their relationship, it had seemed that he was just happy to have her back and that he truly didn't care about what had gone on. It had bothered her that he could let it all go, but that had also been part of what made her love him. His ability to forgive and see the good in her. Why couldn't she do the same?

A few more tears filled Erin's eyes, and Hank wiped at them. "Come on, Erin. I can't be your relationship therapist. This is about all I've got."

Erin gave him a watery shrug. "I know. Thanks for the advice. I just don't know how…"

"You just do. Cause that's what you do for the people you love."

Erin nodded. She wanted to. She really wanted to erase the image of Jay with someone else. Maybe she could someday, just not right now.

Suddenly, Hank looked around her apartment. "Erin? Did Jay do this to your apartment? Is that why you are mad at him?"

Erin followed his gaze to see the disaster of her kitchen. "No! Shut up. I was cooking." Hank just raised his eyebrows at her in disbelief. Erin was indignant. "I was going to clean up. I just got distracted. I've had some uninvited visitors today."

Hank seemed unconvinced. "Okay, as touching at this father daughter conversation has been, I really came over to check on my sick grandson. Where is he?"

Erin took a deep breath, trying to regain some control over her emotions. "He's sleeping." She checked the clock. "He's been out over an hour. Might sleep a little longer."

Hank nodded, "Okay. Well, then I can help you 'cook,' I guess." He started rolling up his sleeves. "Where do you need me?"

Erin smiled at him. She wasn't alone. She had her family. Maybe that was all she really needed. Maybe everything else was just unnecessary.

Author's Note: Okay, I know some of you absolutely hate me right now, and a few might even stop reading the story. I actually considered rewriting this and having him not have slept with someone else, but I felt like it wasn't being honest with my original idea. As much as I love my readers, I wanted to be true to the story that is spinning in my head. I know a few of you are all about them getting back together, but the characters in my story have some issues. I didn't want to leave some plotlines dangling, and Erin had seen him with another woman. She had to know that there was a chance. They were broken up for months, and he was very angry and bitter at that time. Her rejection had consequences. I think it is realistic that this could happen. Jay was being an ass, and now he has to earn her trust. But….. on a good note, this probably has been the very last relationship complication that they have to figure out how to get over.