Chapter 10: About Last Night…

Janelle's P.O.V

I yawned and stretched on the tiny bed, my eyes opening to the soft light flooding the room. 

Taking a deep breath, I inhaled the unfamiliar smell of the floral room freshener, a stark contrast to what I was used to - the smell of smoke and wet wood and gunpowder. I heard a clock ticking somewhere in the room, and the sound of birds outside, but other than that, the place was blissfully quiet.

I was lying on a cozy and comfortable mattress. The feeling of luxury and the smell of home enveloped me. It had been days since I last heard a siren or bang of a gun being fired. I wasn't at the war ground anymore, I was safe in the city. I survived the war that claimed the lives of several of my colleagues, my brothers and sisters who had joined the unyielding sandy terrains with me. 

But it was all over now. My job was done…and I was in a motel on the outskirts of the city. Safe and sound.

It took a few minutes of deep thought before I recounted how I got here. Last night after I had slept with a man I knew nothing about, I got out into the chilly street looking around for a cab. I strode down the street, through unfamiliar paths. My eyes scanned buildings and the signs inscribed on them for a place to stay.

"Excuse me," I halted a teenage boy who seemed to be rushing down the street to get somewhere…probably his home.

"Good evening ma'am." He looked around, and then he peered into my face. "May I help you with something?"

"Yes, actually." I gave him a weary look. "Can you tell me how I can get to the less populated part of the city? The outskirt I mean. I need to find a motel to stay."

The last time I was here, most of this town wasn't so developed. A year and six months later, I can't even find my way around the place that I moved to after getting enlisted in the army.

The boy looked at me with discomfort, taking a few steps back, away from where I stood. "I don't think it's a walkable distance. Besides, it's not a safe path to thread by this time of the night." He turned to look at the road and confirmed that there were little to no cabs passing by. "Do you have your car with you, ma'am? It's not safe out here alone for anyone, especially not females."

I smiled warmly, touched by his kindness. "I'm okay. Just tell me how to get there."

He explained the direction, and even offered to walk me down to a junction where I would find my way. But I told him not to bother, that I was fine.

"You seem to be in a rush. You should head back. It's dark already."

"Yes, ma'am." The boy grinned. "My mom has been calling me for dinner already. Got to go! Be careful on your way!"

I waved the enthusiastic boy as he rushed down the street, hoping that he didn't get scolded by his mom for arriving late. He seemed to be a very well behaved boy as per teenage standards.

Following his directions, I reached the outskirts in no time. The road was a bit dark and many of the street lights were out, but it didn't bother me one bit. In fact, it gave me time to think as I walked lazily, my mind wandering as I looked for a motel that was far away from the sights and sounds of the city, on intent.

Not only did I not want constant reminders of all that happened yesterday, I didn't want to hear an ambulance or a police car passing by in the middle of the night. I would instantly be alert and weary and falling back asleep would be difficult. Not that I wouldn't get nightmares already.

PTSD was a very real struggle for me and the sound of an ambulance or a police car could make me jerk up at night, looking for my gun. It had been that way ever since I returned to base. Even the smell of gunpowder and blood refused to leave my nostrils.

After walking for an hour, I arrived at the motel where I lodged. It was a little house with no security. Just a receptionist, and a few attendants. A lot of thugs, pickpockets, and robbers were outside, loitering. But none of them dared to halt me, nor did they harass me. My carriage might have told them that I wasn't one to be messed with.

Because I was on the outskirts of the city, I slept with no worries, no fears, no thoughts, no traumatic reactions, and not once did I stir on the bed. I hadn't slept so peacefully in months, I was so glad to finally get a good rest.

The sun was streaming in the window. I looked up at the gold-plated clock above my head and was surprised that it was almost eleven. It had indeed been ages since I had slept this late. My discipline wouldn't allow me to sleep past seven. But today, I told myself that I deserved that little treat.

Now that I was up, I calmly reflected on all that happened yesterday. How I lost Daniel in a nanosecond and then lost my house and my sense of security. I didn't really understand why, but the more time that passed, the more I found myself reflection on Daniel's behavior and how I should've seen this coming from a mile away.

Daniel had started to pull away months ago. The calls that used to arrive every single night without fail had started to become weekly calls rather than daily, and then…they became a monthly thing, with hardly a call or two to last the entire month. Still, I hadn't thought much of it, because we were both busy with our respective jobs and I had started to withdraw into myself after the bloodshed at the battlefield.

No matter how my father had prepared me for this kind of life from my childhood, I hadn't seen it coming until it was already too late. Now that I think back to it, I had always known military people to have a difficult love life, most of them had broken homes and were divorced. And those that still persisted eventually became distant in the future.

Not everyone can handle being married to someone whose priority is their country.

Maybe that was why my mother had left my father. She probably was lonely during the times my father was away, and faced with the responsibility of raising me alone. Maybe she didn't want to cheat, so she rather walked out. 

Putting Daniel in my mother's shoes, I recalled the many times we talked about my choice of career. And the tears with which he pleaded that I change my mind. I felt selfish but reminded myself that I didn't do any of it for myself but for my country. Maybe my mother had begged my father, too…until she couldn't take it any longer. 

I could only see things through the lens of the military woman. And in the past, not once did I wonder how it felt to be the civilian in love with someone who didn't reciprocate your affection as deeply as they wanted. But rather devoted all attention to safeguarding their country.

 My thoughts were cut off when I heard a gentle knock on the door. The first time I heard it, I felt it was in my head. 

After all…who would be up here? This wasn't a decent hotel with classy services, so it was not the housekeeping or room service. I wasn't expecting any visitors either and nor did I have any friends, family, or relatives around in this part of town.

But because of my last few months of experience in the field, I became instantly alert, waiting to hear the knock a second time. I rose up immediately to perch on the edge of my bed, my eyes on the door as I listened for any sudden movements.

It came again. A little more persistent than it was the first time. Probably robbers or pickpockets. Probably rapists. The location where the motel was located had a lot of rumors about these cases happening to solo travelers, and from what I saw last night, they were probably true.

I took my belt and wound it in my hand, ready to strike anyone who tried to rob me. Using my gun was a last resort and I didn't want to end up going to jail for firing while I was off duty. That would be a hell lot of paperwork on my part.

I got down from the bed noiselessly and slipped my feet into the loafers that the motel had provided. It was time to check who would want to mess with me at this time of the morning.

I calculated every step I took as I headed for the door, breathing with caution just so whoever it was wouldn't notice my movements. 

Seconds later, I was at the door. Unfortunately, there wasn't a peephole that I could peer out of to judge if I was in any kind of danger or not. So I placed my hand on the doorknob…and yanked it open, raising my hand with the belt to get ready for a strike if necessary…

Only to come face to face with the last person I had expected to find me here.

"Cameron?"