Conformist

We enter our first lecture hall. Ever. I feel like I've got a bodyguard with me, Ross is tall and any guys that look at me see him and decide better of talking to me.

It's quite busy and as I'm walking down the aisle ahead of Ross I notice other students turning to look at us. The girls particularly look over Ross. I mean I can't blame them. He looks like a total badass buy little do they know he's the biggest softy.

Then I spot Jay, he's watching me. Lord this is going to be a long hour. I must not let him get in my head. I'm here to learn, not worry about him and his games. Of course he's saved us a seat. We move in to sit next to him. I pull the seat down and sit.

I shake off Matty's jacket and place it on my bag down by my feet. Retrieving my tablet and a pen and notebook. I extend the little table and set up. I look up to see Jay staring at me, with an expression of fascination.

"What?" I ask him self consciously.

He laughs.

"Nothing" he says smirking.

"No please do tell" I say again with a hint of sarcasm.

"I like your top" he says grinning.

Stuck for what to say I decide to ignore him.

I lean slightly into Ross as to avoid being close to Jay. Ross looks down and smiles at me. He's got out his laptop and he's switched on speech to text. He shows me how to do it on my tablet and I thank him.

Our first lecturer is a middle aged man dressed in a turtle neck sweater, he introduces himself as Mr Carter. As soon as he begins talking, my tablet notes down what he is saying and I smile over at Ross. I use my notebook to write down my own thoughts and questions that come into my head.

Carter is going off about social conformity and social norms today. It makes me think about Matty, to be fair it's not hard for my mind to stray to Matty. I'm thinking about how Matty always subverts conventions of what you think people normally do in situations. Unlike a guy like Ross who seems to follow through on most social conventions.

Jay shuffles in his seat and it drags me out of my thought. I glance over at him and see that he is indeed looking at me. I look away. Another complete non-conformist in pretty much all aspects of life. As I'm trying to focus back in on Mr Carter Jay passes me a sheet of scrap paper. He's written on it in his surprisingly neat and legible handwriting.

"You're a total conformist"

Normally I would ignore his shit but because it's about me I have to reply right?

"You're a total idiot" I write back. Smiling and pleased with myself.

I hand it to him. He looks at it and bites his lip smiling.

He looks forward again clearly plotting his next silly comment. Pathetic. Ross looks down at me to see if I'm okay, he instinctively brushes his hand on my leg. Then he mouths shit sorry, I laugh. He's so used to touching me and we haven't really gone through boundaries as of yet. I look over his notes over my shoulder, and see he has come up with some really good valid points and notes. I copy some into my own and he chuckles refocusing on the lecture.

Halfway through we have a short 5 minute break, we decide to stay in our seats. Jay stretches out his legs lounging in his chair the girl next to him looks him over, it's not the first time she's checked him out. I begin to wonder what happened between him and Rach. And decide I probably do not want to know.

I grab my phone. I text Matty quickly telling him I miss him. I sip my drink aiming to quietly reflect on the first half of the lecture.

"That really is a nice top, you got on there Taylor" Jay says under his breath as I'm leaning over my bag putting my phone away.

"Oh just come out with it" I tell him.

He laughs.

"What you have a sexy back" He winks when I look at him.

"Thanks and it's not a top it's a leotard I have dance after this" I tell him.

He shuts up.

The rest of the lecture goes really well. Jay has been focusing on his piece of paper and not me thankfully. Soon I realise we're nearly at the end. I consolidate my thoughts in my notebook. I note down a few questions I'm going to answer later.

As we're leaving I grab my bag and Matty's jacket. I walk in line with the two guys. Now I have two bodyguards.

"Are you going to freshers?" Ross asks.

"Ugh Im not sure actually" I say non-committing

"Some of it is totally stupid but there is normally a good party on Friday, lots of dancing and cheap drinks" Jay tells me.

"Tay you're a total social conformist I know you'll be there" he laughs.

"You'll be there too right being a total idiot?" I ask

"Of course" he laughs.

"Catch you guys later" he says and saunters off.

Ross sighs.

He has English lit next but he walks with me outside to smoke.

"Want one? They're menthol" he asks me.

"Thanks" I say taking one, he lights it up for me.

We walk together for a bit towards the dance block.

"I've missed you" he says out of the blue. Looking straight ahead. Not daring to look at me at all. I glance at him.

Ive missed him. Honestly I have but I've kind of been trying to stay in my own little bubble with Matty for the past two weeks. The difference here is that I've been with my boyfriend and he has been single.

"I know I get you're with him. But I have missed you. Don't say anything back. You don't have too." He smiles looking at me finally. He hugs me again and holds onto me just a fraction too long.

"I'll see you at lunch yeah" He says pulling away from me and I realise he's now got to walk all the way back.