In a Heartbeat

Many things can happen in a heartbeat. You can fall in love in a heartbeat, love, cry, and so many other things. In a heartbeat....someone could die.

Every time your heart beats, another one stops and another one starts. Isn't it ironic? That your heart beats to keep you alive, and yet every beat of your heart brings you closer to death?

In a heartbeat of mine, a truck ran a red light and myself included [1]. I died before the pain even registered, before my death even registered. Your life doesn't flash before your eyes like the stories say, the only possibility of that happening is if you already knew that you were going to die.

Truth be told, I carry the fault of my death. If I were not reading on my phone while crossing the streets, I surely would've noticed the truck racing towards me. Besides, you never know why the truck was racing, perhaps the driver had just received a call that their mother was on her last breath. I just so unfortunately happen to be the price of his rush, and the price for reading while walking. I knew there was a reason why my parents told me not to use my phone when I was crossing the road.

Would I be missed, I wonder? Even if I am only remembered for a hundred years, as long as I am remembered after my heart stops beating, that is my dying wish. To my friends and to my family, how long will it take for all of you to move on? To forget about me? The selfish part of me really wants you all to never move on, to keep crying for me. But what's the point when I'm not there to witness it? Even if I was there, it will only pain my heart to see you all weep.

Do you think that it is only the living that has to learn to move on? Even the dead need to learn, though there isn't much time to. At least when you're alive you might have someone to cry with you. When your dead, you won't have anyone to cry to, to cry about everything you have loved and lost.

I could feel myself fading away, from my childhood memories to my teenage years, all of it eroding into nothingness. I was losing myself and I didn't even have the tear ducts to cry about it. I know, the memories I think I have are just the after images. You can't have memories without a hippocampus, but you can retain the memories for a short period of time. In that period of time, you have to learn to let go of your past life, lest you carry it on to your next one. When all logic leaves you, all you are is emotions, and those emotions will always stay with you.

Amongst all those deep thoughts and emotions that ran rampant around my non-existent head, the thought that spoke the loudest of all was, 'I still haven't read the last chapter of 'Changing Fate'!'

[1] get it? The truck RAN a red light and RAN over our MC? hahahaha, I'm so funny XD