13| Coward

Theo pov

"You've been grinning not stop ever since you got here." Dean said. I was sprawled on one of the couches in the den, looking at nothing in particular, because I couldn't focus when all I could think about was Mia.

"Yep, I noticed that too." Sav pipes up.

I couldn't help it. The feel of her lips against mine was too vivid in my mind still. I could still feel her arms gripping my neck, her body pressed against mine, her silky smooth hair in my fingers. She was too good to be true.

"Are you high, Theo?" Scott asked and chuckled. "I literally cannot stop laughing at how comical you look, smiling all goofy without a reason."

"Who said there isn't a reason?" I asked him.

"And does that reason happen to be the girl you've been quite fascinated about for these past couple of weeks?" Dean smirked at me.

"WHAT?"

"WHICH GIRL?"

"You like someone?" I turned around to find Bridget's eyes focused on me, her expression unreadable. 

I scratched the back of my neck nervously. Bridget had never really been fond of me. We'd both met through Dean and talked to each other because of Dean. I knew for sure if the circumstances had been different, we would have never spared a glance at each other even if we'd cross paths. Yes, I trusted her enough to know she would never hurt me and would want the best for me, but now I was nervous.

She was Mia's fucking best friend. And I knew for certain how much she meant to Mia. And I also knew if she would ever ask her stay away from someone, Mia would listen. Bridget had always disapproved of my way with girls, of how I never settled and wanted everything casual. I didn't want something merely casual with Mia, but Bridget didn't fucking know that. And she was overprotective of her best friend, I was sure Bridget would never approve of Mia being with me.

And that scared me. I couldn't lose her.

"And it's Amelia." She answered her own sentence.

"Holy-"

"Fucking shit." Scott hollered.

Dean chuckled while I slapped an arm on my face. Scott and Savannah would never let me live peacefully after this. I wanted to correct Bridget and say that I didn't just like Mia, that it was much more than that, but she didn't need to know that. When I lowered my hand, the nervousness I'd momentarily forgot about, came back. Bridget was standing in front of me, her hands folded on her chest, her expression like a school teacher, scolding her student.

"I-I yeah." I don't think I've ever been nervous in front of her.

Her eyes hardened. "You'll break her heart."

"No I-"

"You will fuck with her emotions and then you'll leave her like you leave every girl. You can't settle down, that's the same sentence you said to me two years back."

"Look-"

"I will never let you be with her."

That single line got to the beast inside me. Her statement made me so fucking angry that I wanted to claw her eyes out. I had to remind myself that she was my best friend's fucking girlfriend.

"I will never let you break her heart, Theo." She continued, oblivious to the glimmering anger inside me, waiting to be unleashed.

"You don't deserve her."

Shut up, Bridget. 

"You'll ruin her and make her miserable. And I will never let you do that!"

Maybe it was something in my expression, or maybe he just knew me too well. Before things could heat up more than they'd already, Dean stood up, "Baby, that's enough."

Everyone had quietened. The twins had realized now was not the right time to tease me about my crush, that it too serious right now. Dean had realized Bridget was testing my patience, that I was about to snap. And he knew me well enough to know it would not be a pleasant scene. Yes, I would never hurt Bridget physically, but what she said made me mad.

The thought of not having Mia maddened me.

I got up, slowly, trying to calm myself. But the possibilities of Bridget driving Mia away from me didn't stop in my head. Dean called out my name and grabbed my arm but I flung it away. Something was burning inside me and I couldn't control what came next.

"If you know better, you'll stay out of my life." I spoke to her, deathly calm. "And you will stay out of hers. She knows how to take care of herself. She doesn't need a babysitter."

"I'm protecting her!"

"She doesn't need your fucking protection." I roared out.

"You-" She moved towards me but Dean grabbed her hand and pulled her away, out of the room. I didn't miss the way he glanced at Scott, his eyes asking him to calm me down. 

But he couldn't calm me down. No one could.

No one but her.

I was out of the room before Scott could say something. I left the house, walking down the streets, away from Dean's house. My fingers moved on their own accord, unlocking the phone, dialing her number.

"Hello?" Her soft voice reached my ears seconds later.

And I felt all of my anger vanishing away.

"Hi angel."

"Hi. What happened?"

"Nothing, I just-" I sighed. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

She didn't say anything. If it weren't for the sound of her deep breaths, I would have thought she had hung up.

"Theo, are you okay?"

"No." I replied truthfully. "Can I see you right now?"

"I-I'm not at home. I was actually out with Uncle Mason for dinner. What happened?"

"I feel like I'm going to lose you again."

She didn't say anything again. I'd noticed this hundreds of times that she never responded when I said things like that, when I confessed my feelings to her. I didn't expect her to say anything back, but I did want some kind of reaction, some kind of reassurance. She gave me none.

"Mia?"

"I'm here." Her voice was breathless.

"Am I going to lose you again?" I asked her. 

"I-I don't know."

"The thought of losing you scares me."

I heard the sound of a siren, loud and wailing. I glanced behind to find an ambulance rushing forward, the siren on its top gleaming red. I shifted to the side to let it pass. Then my eyes took time to register a lone figure running forward, in the direction of the ambulance, but not fast enough to catch it. When he passed by me, I caught the words 'please' and 'I love you' escaping his mouth, tears running down his face. My heart clenched.

No, I couldn't lose her. I just couldn't.

"Mia-"

"I have to go now, Theo. I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later."

I started at my phone screen as the call disconnected. For some reason, my heart didn't stop clenching. There was a fearsome feeling inside me that I was going to lose her, that she going to run away from me, yet again.

But this time, I wouldn't be able to catch her.

Amelia pov

"You should go." Uncle Mason said, taking a bite of his taco.

"What?"

"Go to him." He corrected.

"Why would you say that?" I asked defensively.

"Because I know what you're doing. You're pushing him away because of your father. And you know what your father would have wanted for you, Amelia? He would have wanted you to be happy."

I blinked, trying to register his words.

"Your father was strict because that was his way of protecting you. I'm not justifying his actions. I agree his way was shitty. But he did it because he didn't want you to settle for just anything, he wanted the best for you."

"So you're saying Theo's the best for me?" I asked him, looking down.

"You won't know unless you give him a chance." He replied softly. "You have to try, see how it goes. You can't keep pushing everyone away, Amelia."

His words did something to me. They made me realize how stupid I was being. I'd never let a guy get too close to me because I'd always thought that's what dad would have wanted. But when Uncle Mason said this, I realized everything was absolute bullshit.

I was pushing away the person who cared for me.

My phone was in my hands in a second and I was dialing his number. 

"Mia?" His smooth voice flowed in my ear, almost sounding unsure and hesitant.

"Where are you?" From the corner of my eye I saw Uncle Mason smiling.

"Why?"

"You wanted to see me, didn't you?"

He was quiet for a second, but then when he replied, I could hear his smile. "I'll text you the address."

Uncle Mason decided to head over to the house on foot. So I took the car and reached the address he'd sent me. I didn't know what I would say or do when I got there. Everything was just too overwhelming right now and I didn't want to think much. I knew I tend to do shitty things when I overthought.

Theo had texted me the address for a huge twenty five floor building. When I parked my car and got out, I was awed by its height and the way the shining white lights danced on the roads. He'd mentioned it once that he didn't live with his parents, he lived with his brother in a penthouse. I hadn't known it would be this huge.

I was walking towards the entrance when a grey car rushed past me. The driver got out hurriedly and opened the door for the person to get out. The first thing I saw were the gleaming heels and the long legs. When I raised my head to look at the face, my steps faltered. 

Claire. 

She was dressed casually as if this was a routine. That thought made me stop completely in my tracks. I respected Theo and Claire's friendship, but I also knew what kind of relationship they used to have. Theo barely even knew me, but he'd known Claire for a very long time.

Would he pick her over me?

My breathing became harsh. The walls which were coming down, I felt them go rigid again, cutting off my emotions from the rest of the world, from him. I couldn't be vulnerable in front of him, I was just giving him an opportunity to hurt me.

And I was too much of a coward to take a risk.

He didn't know about my fucked up past, he didn't know and I didn't know if I could tell him. I didn't know if I could accept the thought of him hating me forever. My past was a burden and he didn't deserve it.

Then another horrendous thought came in my brain. He deserved someone who could give him everything, someone like Claire. 

He deserved someone who could support him, love him, protect him. I couldn't do anything like that. I was too fucked up.

So I turned around. I turned around before I could fuck things up more. I'd already hurt him so much, I couldn't hurt him anymore. The thought of hurting him made me cry. I turned around and hurried my way over to the car, not wanting anyone to see me. He would make a fit tomorrow, I knew that. He would demand answers, and I would do the only thing I was very good at. 

Running away.

I didn't deserve him. I didn't deserve the way he cared for me, the way he made me laugh, the way he protected me, the way he never gave up on me. I didn't deserve that. I'll run away so that he could be happy, because he deserved all the happiness in the world.

He was perfect.

And I was flawed.

So I turned away even when that was the last thing I wanted to do.

*