11| Bluff

Amelia pov

I walked along the hallway, gripping my books in my hand, pressing them against my chest. Somewhere inside me I hoped it would reduce the pain I was feeling, but then I let go of that thought. I wanted to get away from this mess I'd created, but I knew it was too late now, I was too deep in it.

I was well aware of him following me, so I made sure to walk only on that path where I could see many students. I didn't want us to be alone, I didn't know what he would do if we were. All I knew was that if we were alone, I would be too fascinated to accept anything he says, and I didn't want that.

"Mia!" I heard him call my name, but I kept walking.

"Stop." I didn't.

"Jesus, Mia!"

Hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me to a stop. He turned me around to face him, his green eyes swirling with anger, but passion as well. Just like the last time he grabbed my arm and pulled me in another direction. But we passed the hallway we'd stood on the previous time, instead he took a turn.

Leading to the washroom.

"That's the men's room." I blurted the first thing that came in my head, "I can't go in."

"You can when I make you." He replied back hotly.

That shut me up. He pushed me inside, and before I could make a run for the door he entered, slamming it shut behind him, the click of the lock echoing. My breathing was harsh and my heartbeat had increased drastically when he turned around to look at me.

"Why were you ignoring me?"

"I-I wasn't." I stuttered.

"Really?" He took a step in my direction, raising an eyebrow in a mocking way.

"I was late to class. I need to go Theo, I've got a class."

"So do I. But you aren't going anywhere until we have this conversation."

"What conversation?" I asked, much faster than I should have.

"The 'us' conversation."

"There's no us." I said. I saw his face drop at my statement. I felt the powerful waves of frustration and anger coming out from him. I saw the raged control in his eyes, as if he was restraining himself from doing something he desperately wanted to do. His fists clenched at his side, his nostrils flaring.

He walked towards me as I stepped back. Then eventually my back hit the wall, much sooner than I'd expected, and I looked up to see a satisfied smirk on his lips.

He got me where he'd wanted me.

His steps slowed down, as if he wanted to savor the moment. Then when he was an arm's reach from me he reached up to cup my face, his rough calloused hand brushing my cheekbone.

"What-what're you doing?" I squeaked out.

"I'm calling out your bluff, angel." Then he bent down to capture my lips. Even though his fingers were gentle on my skin, his lips were bruising. He pushed me further into the wall, his hands moving up and down my body, after which he settled on wrapping them around my waist. My body scorched wherever he touched me. When he lifted my up a bit, my hands automatically clung on his shirt and I gasped, giving him the perfect opportunity to enter my mouth. I felt him everywhere after that. His tongue was soft enough to tease me as he licked my lip. I moved my hand up in his hair as he groaned.

He tore his mouth away from mine, bending down, pressing feather like kisses against my jaw, "Tell me you don't feel that." 

He was pouring his everything in the way he kissed me. For some reason it made me emotional. The fact that I was making him suffer was killing me. The fact that he had to be the one to deal with this because of my shitty fucked up past was suffocating me.

"Tell me to stop, Mia." He whispered again. His tongue came out to lick a soft spot beneath my ear, his mouth captured my earlobe and tugged softly. I couldn't tell him to stop. Even when my brain was screaming at me to end this before it even started, my heart said the exact opposite. My heart asked me to risk it for once.

"Mia," He whispered. His voice was so soft, soft like velvet. When we parted we both were breathing hard. His lips were red, swollen. His eyes were shining with passion, a raw adoration reflecting in his green orbs. His face was open, I could see everything, he was making himself vulnerable in front of me. His jaw was as sharp as a knife, a very light stubble visible. His golden skin appeared to be shining even though there wasn't much light.

He was so perfect.

I didn't deserve him.

He didn't deserve to be burdened by my life.

So I did the only thing my irrational mind told me to. I pushed him away, making him stumble back after which he regained his posture and looked at me with a confused expression. I couldn't look at him, at the hurt in his eyes, so I looked away.

"You can't deny this." He said, his voice sounding pleading. "We have something. You know that, I know you feel it. I don't know why you're always pushing me away, Mia. Why are you fighting something when we both want it?"

I didn't say anything. I knew if I opened my mouth I would either blurt out everything, or start sobbing, both of which I didn't want. So I kept my mouth shut.

"I-" He closed his eyes as if he were in pain. My heart clenched at the thought of him being in pain because of me. "Do you not want me? Am I wrong to assume you reciprocate my feelings? Did I really read the signs wrong? Please tell me." His voice broke, "Please, I need to hear you say it so that I can convince my heart. Just-just ask me to leave. I'll go, I won't bother you again. I have to hear you say it." 

Even though he didn't say this, I could hear it in his voice, 'Please don't say it.'

I couldn't breathe. My mind was too foggy, too deep in his thoughts. Emotion curled up my throat.

"Mia?"

The way he was saying my name made me feel like a fucking bitch. Why the fuck was I doing this? 

"Please say something."

At that, I couldn't control my tears. Everything came out, every emotion, every memory of his eyes looking at me with rawness, him taking care of me and making me laugh. He mattered, and I was making him feel like he didn't.

So I sobbed.

Theo pov

"Shit, no." My chest constricted painfully when I heard her sobs. The fact that she could possibly be crying because of something I said just made me mad, mad at myself.

"Angel, please don't cry." I tried to keep my distance. She didn't want me, I had no right to invade her personal space. I respected her enough to give her space. 

She didn't want me.

She buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably, her whimpers the only thing I could hear at that moment. Seeing anyone cry killed me, but when I saw the tears on her face, I felt my heart being literally ripped out my chest.

I'd promised her I'd always protect her. I'd promised to catch her if she fell.

At that, my legs moved forward and within seconds she was in my arms. I held her tightly as she wrapped her hands around me and sobbed in my shoulder. I rubbed her back, trying to soothe her, doing everything to make her stop crying. 

"Mia, shh angel, please don't cry. I'm here, everything's fine."

Eventually her sobs died down, but she kept her hands around my neck, not letting go. She didn't want me, but I'd still always be there when she needed someone. 

"Will you tell me what happened?" I asked her softly. I know she had trouble opening up, that she still had so many things I didn't know. 

"I don't deserve you." She hiccuped. "You're perfect, I don't deserve you."

That made me freeze. No, she had it all wrong. I uncoiled her hands from around my neck and looked at her. Her eyes were pale, tinged with red. Even in that state, she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. She managed to leave me breathless every time I looked at her. 

I pushed a stray curl behind her ear, wiping off her wet cheeks using the pad of my thumb, "Why do you think that?"

"I'm fucked up, Theo. Can't you see? You could have any other girl, you deserve someone who'll support you and protect you and-"

"I don't want any other girl. I want you, only you. You aren't fucked up, you're a normal human being with certain complications in life, but they aren't going to push me back. You know what that makes you?" When she looked at me I continued, "The fact that you've faced everything in your life makes you strong. You're so brave, Mia. When I look at you the only thing I see is a confident and independent person who's going to grow up and be such a strong woman."

She closed her eyes, "Why do you like me?" She whispered so softly that I had to bend down to hear her right.

"What I feel for you is not like." She opened her eyes and gazed at me. "What I feel for you cannot be expressed in words. It's something so deep that I get lost in it sometimes."

Her lower lip quivered. "I don't deserve you."

"Look at me." I pushed her chin up to make her look at me, in my eyes. I know she could read them much better than what I could say, "Stop saying that."

"It's true."

"No, it is not." I replied forcefully. "You deserve someone who'll take care of you and give you everything, someone who'll support you no matter what and make you laugh. You deserve love, Mia, pure and raw love. Anyone would be lucky to have you."

My vision reddened at the thought of someone else having her. But I knew this had to be done. She didn't want me, I had to let her go. "I want you to be happy, angel, even if it's not with me. I'm sorry I caused you so much pain these past days, but I promise I'll leave you alone now. I'll go."

I turned around, my footsteps becoming heavier with each step I took. As much as I tried, my heart wouldn't listen to me. My heart wouldn't accept that the first girl I'd truly ever wanted didn't want me. It hurt, it pained me, but I had to turn around and let go.

And then just like in movies, when my hand reached for the doorknob to turn it, I heard her soft voice, "Theo."

My head whipped around to find her looking at me.

"Don't go." She whispered, "Please."

Hope blossomed in my chest but I willed myself to not hope much. Yeah, she wanted me to stay, she needed someone at her side right now, and I was close by. That didn't mean anything.

I walked to her slowly. I didn't expect her to throw her arms around me the second I reached her. She clung to me, pulling me down, holding tightly. I encircled her waist, burying my face in her neck, smelling her sweet scent. If this was the last time I could hold her, I wanted to remember everything.

"I'm scared." She said in my shoulder.

"Scared of what?"

"Of getting hurt. Getting my heart broken. Losing you." Her voice broke off.

"I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." I said back to her.

When she looked me in the eye, I could see my emotions reflecting in hers. "What do you want, angel?" I asked her softly.

She sighed, not saying anything, just tightening her hold on me, getting up and pressing her lips against mine.

She wasn't good with words. She wasn't good at saying things out loud. But she didn't need to. Actions speak louder than words. 

And right now, I could hear everything she wanted to say as I gripped her waist and kissed her.

*