The King Of Garfield

Pug stared at the little human in front of him and thought of what the human had said, putting his overworked brain cells into overdrive.

His brain was furiously working trying to piece together the meaning of the little.

'Him, King?' He pondered, he did like that idea, 'King Pug, has a nice ring to it," he muttered.

"If I, Pug of the Dark Boarman of Shanhun Valley, became King, that would be for the best." Pug said solemnly while rubbing his chin like an ancient philosopher.

Enzo clutched his gut and tried to keep tears from coming from his face attempting to keep the performance alive.

Straightening his back and clearing his throat he stated, "I agree wholeheartedly, there couldn't conceivably be a better and wiser… Boar to take the throne than you." Enzo continued his charade and walked up directly to the massive Boar who stood more than a full meter taller than him and lay a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Looking off into the distance, Enzo sighed and said regretfully, "But what is best isn't likely to be… I would love to free the Boars from the tyranny of their King just as much as you but…"

Enzo had no idea if the Boar King was a dictator or for that matter anything about him. But he knew that people who lived at the bottom always wanted more, and they always blamed the people in charge.

Trailing off, Enzo turned his head back and glanced up at the pig-headed man.

Pug's brain was now utterly fried from overthinking, and he looked like a little kid scrutinizing whether the grownup really had candy in his van or if he was about to get kidnapped.

Finally, Pug took the bait and got into Enzo's proverbial van, "What do you need me to do?"

With a slight smile, Enzo laid out the most outlandish and likely ludacris plan he had ever come up with.

Over in the Boar King's Castle…

"Oh your Majesty," purred the voluptuous Boarmaid sitting on the Boar King's lap, "please have some more beer to go with your leg of mutton. You do look so manly gnawing on the flesh."

The Boar King threw his head back and roared with laughter. He knocked the Boarmaid off his lap, not caring that she gave him a dirty look. "Next," he shouted and pointed at another Boarmaid sitting on his general's lap. "You, come to the handsome King and leave that ugly beast alone.'"

The new Boarmaid jumped up, her shiny black hooves clicking on the stone floor. "Yes my King," she squealed and the rest of the Boar's stomped their hooves on the floor, making a loud racket in the Hall of Feasts.

The hall was strangely ornate, a huge contrast to the ugly massive Boars. Tall gilded walls were separated by marble columns, etched with various beasts engaged in battles. The intricately carved dome ceiling helped project the sounds of Boars gnashing their teeth as they slurped their ale and gnawed on thick wedges of meat.

The King gripped his goblet and brought it to his lips, the bitter taste of the ale hitting the back of his throat and streaming down his gullet.

King Gardof loved debauchery and everyone knew it. His highness was famous for big parties and feasts like the one happening tonight, people from nearby kingdoms called him 'Gardof the Swine' because he would raid their cities just to have a reason to throw a feast.

No one from Garfield, the newly renamed Dark Boar Kingdom would dare call their king that though.

The people from Garfield lived in constant fear of Gardof's might as not only was Garof the King but he was a Tier-8 Warrior.

"Quiet!" Amidst the ruckus of the noise, a booming voice that was filled with power shook the tables and rattled the plates.

Instantly the room quieted and everyone turned to look at the King.

"Three years ago on this day I, King Gardof, claimed the throne by right of conquest against the Uway family."

"Since that fateful day, Garfield has risen and become a superpower in Shanhun Valley and one on the List of 1 Million!"

"Today we shall feast! Eat! Drink! Today we get drunk!"

Boisterous shouts and the clanking of goblets echoed off the walls letting the King know his compatriots mirrored his sentiment.

All those partaking in today's feast were high officials and a part of Gardof's team that helped him three years ago on that fateful night.

As the meal progressed at the far end of the right-hand table, two ministers whispered.

"Is it true what they say about the rebels? Did they really capture Garfort?" Raf, a young wiry looking Boarman leaned over and asked.

"I believe it is true." Karf, an older Boar answered with a gruff look on his wrinkled face.

"I fought for Gardof because he said he wanted to take a stand against the Dark Court, not cozy up to them," The young Boar grumbled, "Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to join the rebels, if they can capture Garfort, one of our main forts, maybe they have a chance against the capital."

"Shut up boy!" Karf said, glancing from side to side to make sure no one had heard the youngster's remarks, "This is not the place to be saying such things, and besides, rumor has it that Garfort was captured because the commander agreed to side with the rebels."

Glancing around, the young Boar leaned in and asked, "Why hasn't the King just sent someone to take back the fort then? I heard they captured it two days ago!"

Sighing, the old Boar gave up his attempt to end the conversation and replied, "In every kingdom fort there is a Fort Guardian, this guardian's rank depends on the fort's rank but generally can be anywhere from Tier-4 to Tier-8."

"But Garfort is different. It is not one of our main forts, it is THE main fort."

"Garfort has not fallen since the conception of the Dark Boar's establishment in Shanhun Valley because the guardian is not Tier-8, but Tier-9!"

Letting out a small gasp Raf paused then scratched his rubbery head and with a questioning look asked, "But why doesn't the King just go himself then? If it's our main fort then it should be worth his time to go tell the guardian to stand down."

Shaking his head, Karf responded, "It's not that simple."

"The King can't tell the guardian to stand down."

Exasperated, Raf interrupted him and asked, "Why? Why not? Doesn't the guardian listen to the King?"

With an irritated expression, Karf said, "Actually no. The guardian only listens to the fort's commander and the commander can only be changed by the will of the acting fort commander or upon his death, by the King."

"So no. If the King went to Garfort the only fate awaiting him would be death."

"Silence," thundered the King. Two hawk-like eyes trained in on Raf and Karf then on a few more ministers who apparently were having similar conversations. "It seems some of you have forgotten my might."

"You must have forgotten what happened three years ago," Shivers ran down everyone's back as memories of the carnage of what happened to the Uways poured over everyone's mind.

No, they didn't forget, but they had tried to.

"Those of you who would think to join the rebels, I say fine! But remember this," Gardof said then stood up throwing the Boarmaid that was still on his lap aside, and removed a giant falchion from his back pointing it towards the crowd, "The rebels will never take my throne! Tomorrow they will be strung up and flayed by their entrails! Tomorrow we march on Garfort! Tomorrow we reclaim what is ours!"

Everyone paused for a moment then the room became a frenzy of stomping hooves, loud pig squeals, and lots of painful chest bumps.

While the shouting and drinking continued, no one noticed a small little Kobold sneak out just as quietly as he had entered.