A Crush We Didn't Even Need to Worry About

[22nd December]

"Oh no, not again," Silas keened from beside me. I glanced up from the flashcards in my hand. In Johnny's calendar app, it stated that we were having a Math questionnaire today.

"What's wrong?" I questioned, staring ahead where Ethan, Jay and, Rikki were walking together.

"It's that girl again," Nick clicked his tongue, pacing next to his twin. I hummed questionably.

"This is like...her fifth time, right?" Dylan sighed when Nick nodded.

"Ethan!" a remarkably honeyed voice sing-songed from the front and the three ahead of us paused. I glanced at Ethan, who seemed rather annoyed. Despite that, he was still a gentleman to the girl, smiling gracefully as she approached him.

"Go out with me, please!" the girl solicited as she held up an overly decorated letter to him. Ethan softly sighed as he shook his head.

"I'm sorry. I'll have to decline," he then proceeded to walk around her. That was kind of vicious. Was I like that? The four of us followed him, glimpsing at the girl who stomped her feet in frustration.

"She's trying so hard, it's lowkey embarrassing," Dylan scoffed at her. I hummed, watching as the girl ripped the letter in her hands. Damn.

"Who is she though? I don't recall..." I suddenly asked. Dylan snorted at my question.

"Wow, you really don't remember? That's harsh...

She's your ex."

Just then, the girl looked over her shoulders, locking eyes with me. I shivered and turned around immediately.

"Come again?"

"Dumbass, did you really forget?" Silas slapped my arm.

"Right after you broke up with her, she started going for Ethan. It was pretty entertaining to watch, especially since you're not the one she's going for," Nick chuckled, glancing back at the girl.

She was already long gone.

I tilted my head, bewildered at the fact that Johnny used to have a girlfriend. He didn't look like the type to even get with anyone, much less a girl. Well, this was a little cumbersome; Johnny's ex was courting me.

"Oh, Rikki!" I called him, suddenly remembering the pictures. He hummed, turning around.

"About the pictures,"

"Oh crap. You're presenting tomorrow, right?" I nodded. He sighed and tried to think of something.

"How about this? You can come to my house today to get the drive," he suggested and I was quick to agree.

"My mum misses you too so, she'll be overjoyed to know you'll be coming over," Rikki snickered as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, noticing how his fingers brushed over my collarbones. I didn't think much of it. We were best friends, after all.

"Sometimes, I think she adores you more than me," he pouted as we recommenced our journey to class together, the others already taking their seats in the room.

"That's not true!" I rolled my eyes and lightly smacked his chest. He laughed, giving me a boxy grin.

"Shit," Rikki suddenly cursed and halted in his steps, I turned to him in surprise.

"What? What's wrong?" I looked around intuitively.

"No, it's just-" he gulped as he looked at me with dreadful eyes.

"Do we have a Math test today?" oh dear.

"Jeez, Rikki! Take my flashcards. You're lucky Math is not the first period," he grasped my cards and we resumed to class.

"My life savior," Rikki glanced at me with the biggest smile I've seen on him. I snickered and ruffled his hair.

We stepped into the classroom and I saw Ethel seated in class. I was thrilled. "Hey," I whispered to Ethel as I took the seat behind him. He was startled but waved at me.

"Sorry for leaving so suddenly yesterday. It was kind of necessary,"

"Hm, it's okay," he gave me a small smile and glanced back at the front. I assumed he didn't like to talk much in school so I didn't initiate any more conversation. My eyes casually wandered to Jay, who was leaning on his table and swiping through his phone without care which made me think back to what Johnny had told me in my dream last night.

-

"What's your relationship with Jay?" Johnny raised his brows.

"Why the sudden question?" he laughed apprehensively and it made me even more interested.

"I just wanna know. I won't tell anymore," I promised, even holding up a pinkie finger. After a moment, he sighed and held onto it.

"Okay well, something must've happened if you're asking me this so suddenly," he thought for a while before continuing.

"I've always thought of him as a brother in the first steps of our friendship. He was really caring, despite the images and labels strangers gave him. He was called the school's bad boy or the player but in reality, he has been single his whole life. He was also one of the smartest in our school!

I used to think that he came to school just to mingle and joke around-well it was plausible, he was rich after all. He basically had his future drawn out for him. But once I got to understand Jay, I felt guilty for even considering that he was a terrible person," I watched as Johnny chuckled, recalling back to when he and Jay first got to know each other.

"He was anything but that, in all honesty. He was the most pleasant person I knew. The other boys even gave him the nickname 'honey' because he was just that sweet and caring, especially to his youngest peers," Johnny spoke with sparkles in his eyes.

"I've always thought of him as a brother. I really didn't know what changed,

I didn't know why I'd suddenly catch feelings for him." Johnny let out a jittery sigh and rested his head on his palms. My eyes widened at his confession. I was surprised he'd pour out his feelings and let me see his vulnerable side.

"Did...did Jay ever noticed?" I tentatively questioned and he gave a few small nods.

"I think...he did," he lowered his gaze.

"At one point, I got really drunk and Jay brought me home. My family was out for dinner then, so he took me to his house instead. I couldn't recall what happened after that, but when I woke up, he sat on the edge of the bed. I began to panic because he looked so conflicted. Then, he told me we needed to talk," Johnny looked up at me all of a sudden, tears prickling his eyes.

"Out of dread, I ran as fast as I could. Bolted out of his place all the way to mine," I stayed silent as I listened further.

"It was unwise. I ended up missing school too because I vomited so much once I returned," he frantically rubbed away the tears that threatened to fall.

"We didn't talk for a while after that-" he chuckled, waving his hand lightly.

"Let me rephrase that; I started ignoring him in school and while we hung out. It was actually quite challenging because every day, he attempted to talk to me. It was depressing to avoid him but I thought I'd get over him as time passed," Johnny let out a deep sigh and stared at his feet. A single tear dropped onto the fabric of his jeans.

"It never happened. If anything, I missed him even more," he laughed ironically, wiping his eyes again.

"I regretted everything. I longed for his warm embraces, his smiles that were directed towards me, and his usual good morning texts. I couldn't take it anymore and I had intended to confess on the first day of the carnival-but your dumbass came and destroyed my plan!" Johnny chuckled and harmlessly kicked me in the leg. I let out a guilty laugh and scratched the back of my head.

"Yeah, I wanted to tell him everything and let him reject me so I could move on, and coincidentally, Ethan assigned us two to buy food while Rikki fought the machine for that god-forsaken hideous plushie," I laughed lightly.

"He ended up winning it," I told him. Johnny rolled his eyes with a smile.

"Good for him,"

"Jay was acting pretty normal when we were at the vendors," Johnny perked up when I started to speak.

"He didn't ask about what happened or anything out of the ordinary...it was a blow to me when you said you had been neglecting him up until now," Johnny was hindered and his posture slouched.

"Oh..."

"He tried to kiss me today though-"

"What?!" Johnny abruptly Stood up with a blush on his face.

"It didn't happen! Nick interrupted us before we could even...you know," he sat back down with mixed feelings.

"Does that mean..."

"It might be," I beamed at him and softly clapped. He brought his lower lip in between his teeth to bite back a smile.

"Hey you," he suddenly called.

"Give me back my body now! I'll go kiss him myself!" Johnny tackled me onto the bed.

"Oi!" I giggled at his silly behavior and we bickered for a while.

"So, now you know," I hummed questionably as I glanced at him. He was staring at the ceiling as he laid alongside me on the bed.

"That I'm gay," he turned to me and I grinned.

"There's no problem with that. I'm pleased you told me," his shoulders dropped in ease.

"You're the first person I've told," he admitted. I was quite surprised to perceive that.

"Not even Dylan?" he shook his head.

"I have a feeling he'd out me,"

"Oh..." he sighed, getting up from the bed.

"Well, I guess I should go now,"

"Why?" I asked, watching as he sauntered to the door.

"So, you can actually get some sleep. You're starting to have eyebags," he pointed to his eyes and made a face of loathing. I laughed with a nod.

"Don't destroy my face, alright? And court Jay for me," he winked and twisted the doorknob.

"Alright, I'll try," I chuckled at him and got under the sheets.

"Good night, Ethan."

-

"Psst, Johnny...Johnny!" Dylan roughly shoved my shoulder from beside me.

"H-huh?"

Was I daydream for that long?

Dylan side-eyed the front of the classroom. I turned and jerked in my seat to notice the teacher staring at me with a raised brow.

"Daydreaming again?"

"Sorry," I shrunk in shame. Shortly after, the teacher resumed her class. I peeped at Jay only to lock eyes with him. He mouthed an 'are you okay?' and I quickly nodded before clutching my pen to write whatever the teacher had scribbled on the whiteboard. I sighed softly.

Should I confess to Jay for Johnny? Well, it was technically my blame that Johnny didn't get to confess...

-

"That test was easier than I had thought!" Rikki laughed in relief; his arm wrapped around my shoulders. The seven of us were wandering to the cafeteria in the crowded hallway. I chuckled and hugged my winter coat tighter. Even with the indoor heaters, it was still pretty crisp.

My eyes roamed to Jay, who was pacing ahead of me, laughing at Silas' jest. I recollected Johnny's request.

Should I?

The two were mindlessly joking about our Math teacher. Jay's uniform hugged his form so flawlessly. He suddenly took off his blazer and hung it over his right arm, revealing his broad shoulders. I blushed and looked away. It was already bad enough that I have a crush on him, and so does Johnny. But I might as well make use of the time I had before Johnny comes back.

I fiddled with my fingers, trying my best to listen to what Rikki was saying from beside me. "Fuck it," I sighed and marched towards Jay, tapping him on his back. He stopped laughing and turned around with a hum.

"What is it, Johnny?" he stared at me with wide eyes laced with concern. The others halted in their steps too and I immediately grew hesitant.

"Uhm," I lowered my gaze to the ground.

"Can I talk to you? Privately, I mean," he exchanged glances with the rest and nodded for them to go ahead. Rikki's gaze lingered as he followed the boys.

"Yeah sure," with that, I turned around and started making my way up to the rooftop, Jay just followed along wordlessly. It was best to speak someplace quiet and the rooftop was the most suitable option in my opinion.

"Everything okay?" he furrowed his brows, his eyes never leaving my face and it made me even more uneasy. "I have...

something to confess," I glanced up at him, and as if on cue, the wind started blowing on us. I shivered lightly and Jay hurried to my side to wrap his unused blazer around me.

How is he not freezing right now?!

"Yeah? What is it?" he questioned, now closer to me than before. And his hands were still on my shoulders! Shit. I blushed and looked away. Here goes nothing-

"I like you," I blurted out and fixed my gaze on his shoes, not daring to make eye contact.

"...what?" he blinked and leaned towards me. Is he for real?

"I said I like you!" I screamed in his face; my cheeks warmer than they could ever get. After a while, he stood up straight and took a step back to face me completely.

"You mean...you like like me?" he emphasized, eyes wide with astonishment. I nodded and fiddled with my fingers, nervous for his response.

"Oh my God," he grinned in relief. "So, whatever you said when you were drunk that day...

...they were real?" he looked at me with twinkling eyes.

"Well, I was drunk. I forgot what I said-"

I was disrupted when he suddenly grabbed my face and slammed his lips on mine. It was so unexpected that I froze in my spot for a good second before letting myself melt in his hold.

His lips were so fluffy and warm that I felt like I was wrapped in a cozy blanket next to a fireplace in the midst of the snow. His blackberry vanilla cologne clogged my mind and I wasn't able to think straight as my heartbeat rapidly increased. He swiftly turned his head and held onto my nape to push me closer, kissing me like there was no tomorrow. My eyes almost rolled back at the feeling; it felt like a dream and I'd never want to get out of it.

Jay slowly pulled away with a fond smile, his hands still caressing my face. I exhaled and met his eyes. He looked like a child on Christmas Eve. Out of the blue, a white drop delicately landed on his nose. It caught Jay off-guard as he tried to scoop it up with his finger but it had already melted.

I would've thought it was bird poo, but I had quickly realized that it was snowing as I looked around.

"Oh my God, it's snowing," I grinned and glanced at Jay to see him already staring at me, his eyes filled with so much emotion.

"First snow of the year," he stepped closer to me and took my hands in his, softly rubbing my fingers with his thumb.

"And it's with you," Jay chuckled and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before laying his on mine with the biggest smile I've seen on him. The giddy feeling inside of me was starting to build up.

"God, I've liked you for so long, you have no idea," he said, pulling me into a hug and I let out a sigh of relief for Johnny. Jay lightly swayed us both as light snow gently fell from the sky, its earthy smell lingered in the air.