I guess we could pretend? (Part 2)

Ben's POV.



I'd gotten off work early yesterday because i wasn't feeling too well, but the moment i walked through the door into my home Rainbow was sitting on our kitchen island; her back to the door with what i can only assume was an iPad and of course that's her mama's voice emanating from it.



She didn't have any other friends apart from me so i couldn't think of anyone else she'd be talking to...at least i used to be her friend. I didn't hear most of what they were talking about but one word made me stopped on my tracks "adoption" I already knew it was a matter of time before she brings it up and I'd already thought about it before as a cover up after the whole "we're trying to have kids" thing gets old. 



I didn't really think of the effect it will have on me to actually hear her mother say it out loud. Truth is...we've never actually discussed kids before. Like never! I just always assumed it will happen naturally after the honeymoon phase of our marriage.



When she turned around, we just stared at each other for what seemed like eternity then after blinking without words; i just walked away. I heard her cries as i walked away but i couldn't go back to her, Its been so long since we talked i don't even know how to communicate with her without hurting her physically or emotionally. 



Before i met Rainbow my life was a straight up nightmare. I guess i should tell you a little bit about my family. You know how in movies the small town girl moves to the big city with dreams to make it big as a country singer and then she mets the love of her life and they live happily ever after? Yes, that was my parents story...except my father was a druggie and they didn't live happily ever after. 



The only times i ever saw my father at home as a child was when he's abusing and fucking my mother. I remember times when he'd hit her so hard that she passes out for days and i will just sit by her side and cry till she wakes up. He'd get angry at the littlest things when he ran out of drugs and no cash to buy more, or mother couldn't give him more money because she'd either used it on me or to treat herself of his previous beatings. 



He'd call her such awful names and start hitting her again but mother always makes sure he doesn't hit me too. At least not when she was around. First he will just call me names too, then he started hitting me till i was around ten years old...that was when he brought one of his whores home after mother had gone to play a gig at the club she usually works at night.



"Benji boy...daddy's got a surprise for you" He'd called out in that sickly sweet voice that has never stopped hunting my dreams. I ran with both hands in my ears as if it will block his voice or existence, i told myself he'd go away if i didn't answer so i hid myself under mother's bed...Oh! but he found me alright. 



No seconds later after I'd almost breathed a sigh of relief, i felt myself being yanked out from under the bed by my ankle, kicking and screaming i begged.



"No, no, Please stop! mummy save me! Please don't hurt me...I'll be a good boy, please!" I begged. Then i felt it! something deathly cold on my neck. No, not that kind of cold you feel when your ice cream drips on your skin, that kind of cold that fills your heart with fear and makes your spine go numb. 



"Shh...Benji boy" He'd calmly said.



"You're a good boy aren't you?" Nodding rapidly i said "Yes! yes i am" And he said. 



"Good, very good" Bringing his mouth close to my ears he said. 



"Good boys do as they're told, you know that right?" I nodded again too scared to talk and he continued.



"Alright, i'm gonna need you to listen me very carefully alright?" Nodding i muttered a silent. "Yes" And he held my face like you would when prepping kisses on someone face and said. 



"I need you to help me get money from a friend downstairs so your mummy won't have to work so hard anymore alright?" A grin broke on my face with just the thought of my mother not having to leave me alone every night, so i asked. "How?" And he said go play with my friend downstairs" That's it? I'd thought, if that was all it will take for my mummy to stay home with me every night of course i could defiantly it. So with a boyish determination i held my head high and walked downstairs only to be met with a sight of someone twice the size of my mother. 



I remember being so scared, i wanted to go back upstairs and hid but when i turned around my father was standing there holding a knife and mentioning for me to go ahead which i did...and so it began. 



I was groped in places a ten year old kid shouldn't. I remember her sloppy attempts at kissing me because i was trashing and screaming uncontrollably. I still remember the way she slaped in order to get me to stay still as she tries to undo my pants. After she was done with me, father wasn't happy because she didn't pay in full but pardoned me, saying it was my first time, that I'd do better next time.



Two years later I'd been repeatedly molested by different men and women brought home by my father each night mummy was out, she didn't have a clue of what was happening behind her back, not until my twelfth birthday that is. 



























Author's Note...

This chapter was getting quite long so i had to split it into two and make another chapter again. 

Enjoy...