HOW LONG?

BENJAMIN.

Time ticks on, each second feeling like an eternity. I let out a deep sigh, my eyes fixed on the clock. Just a few more minutes and this meeting will finally come to a close.

My mind begins to wander, thinking about the charade I'll put on soon. I'll retreat to my office, pretending to be buried under a mountain of paperwork. It's a ruse, one I've perfected over time. My colleagues will buy into it, and soon they'll be packing up and heading home to their loved ones.

A pang of loneliness hits me, a fleeting moment of regret. But I push it aside, a mask of indifference slipping back into place.

I'll stay behind, as I always do, and head home under the cover of darkness when she's retreated to the solitude of her bed. The thought of her brings back the image of her fragile form this morning. Her eyes, once bright and full of life, now seemed lost and empty.

A pang of guilt pierces my chest as I recall the way she looked at me - a hollow shell of the vibrant woman she once was. And I know I'm the one responsible for her downfall. The weight of my actions settles heavily on my conscience, a constant reminder of the destruction I've wrought.

I've come to a stark realization: people are capable of inflicting unimaginable pain on those they claim to love. My father did it to my mother, and now I'm doing it to my wife.

The irony isn't lost on me. I took vows to protect and cherish her, yet I've broken every single one of them. I knew her deepest fear was abandonment, and I've used that knowledge against her. First, her parents, and now me.

How long was I going to do this to her? The weight of my betrayal threatens to suffocate me. I'm forced to confront the monster I've become, and the devastation I've wrought on the person I once swore to love.

The questions haunt me, echoing in my mind every time I step into our home, where the air is thick with tension and her tears. How long can she endure this? When will she reach her breaking point?

And I'm forced to confront my own complicity: How long am I willing to continue this toxic cycle? Each time I see her cry, each time I witness her fragile form shaking with sobs, my conscience screams for me to stop, to end this madness.

How long could I keep up this charade, ignoring the way she freezes when I'm near, the way my presence steals her breath? The sound of my own name shattered the silence.

"Ben!" "Ben!" "Benji!" My best friend and business partner, Aaron Smith, snapped me back to reality. His boisterous voice cut through my thoughts, a jarring reminder of the world outside my tortured mind.

Aaron's eyes blazed with annoyance as he snapped his fingers, his signature move when he was about to unleash a verbal barrage. "What the hell, man? I've been trying to get your attention forever!"

I braced myself for the impending lecture, attempting to placate him with a nonchalant tone. "Oh, sorry dude. Where were we?"

Aaron's laughter was laced with exasperation before he yelled, his face inches from mine. "The meeting ended five minutes ago, you space cadet! What's going on with you, man?" Not waiting for a response, Aaron charged ahead, his words spilling out in a rapid-fire sequence.

Aaron's expression transformed in an instant, his anger melting into concern. "Hey, man, are you okay? You look pale. Is everything alright at home? How's Rainbow doing?"

That's Aaron for you - a whirlwind of emotions, shifting from fiery anger to warm concern in the blink of an eye. He's always on high alert, sensing when something's off. And, more often than not, his instincts are spot on.

I forced a louder, more convincing tone, trying to reassure him. "Um, yeah, yeah! Everything's fine." My nod was a bit too enthusiastic, a tad too nervous.

"Paperwork," I said, attempting to sound convincing. "Just thinking about how much I still have to get through before heading home."

Aaron's gaze lingered, his eyes narrowing slightly as if searching for cracks in my facade. "Dude, that wasn't a 'paperwork stress' look," he said, his tone laced with skepticism. "But if you say you're okay... fine. Just promise me one thing: if things get crazy, you'll talk to me, okay?"

I nodded, relieved that he didn't push the issue further. Aaron's smile was a welcome respite, a reassuring reminder that, despite his brief moment of concern, our conversation was closed – for now.

"Later, man! I've got the case of the guy with the deceased pregnant girlfriend. See you tomorrow, amigo!" Aaron called out, already heading out the door.

I breathed a sigh of relief as the door closed behind him. Good riddance. I made sure to palm off the sensitive cases like that one to Aaron, keeping my own hands clean.

Being one of the best lawyers in town comes with its perks. But some cases test even my expertise. The autopsy report revealed disturbing signs of physical abuse, making my stomach turn. I couldn't bring myself to defend someone who likely committed such a heinous crime.

Ironically, this accused murderer wants the best lawyers to get him off scot-free. But the victim's parents are relentless in their pursuit of justice, and that's what got me thinking...

A chilling realization crept over me. Had I been able to mistreat Rainbow for so long because she was financially dependent on me? The truth hit me like a ton of bricks: I'm no better than the man I judged. For over three years, I've been abusing my wife, slowly draining her life from her.

Remorse washed over me. I couldn't forgive myself for putting Rainbow through this living hell. The thought of causing her physical harm, or worse, killing her or our unborn child, was unbearable. My actions could have devastating consequences, and the weight of that responsibility crushed me.

I should get back to work. That's what I told myself, anyway. Another day, another excuse to stay behind. Rainbow thinks I'm still out there, indulging in my old habits, but the truth is, that lifestyle lost its appeal after the first year.

The memories of my past actions still haunt me. The beatings, the pain I inflicted on Rainbow... it's a wonder she survived that fateful encounter. My mind recoiled at the thought of what could have happened if she hadn't received help in time.

I'm consumed by self-loathing. Who am I to call myself a husband, a protector, when I've caused so much harm? The weight of my past mistakes threatens to suffocate me.

The memory of that fateful day still sears in my mind. I recall the moment I brought another woman into our home, the sacred space I shared with Rainbow. The look on her face is etched in my memory forever – a mix of shock, pain, and betrayal.

It was the day I first raised my hand against her, shattering the vows I made to love and protect her. In that instant, everything changed. The foundation of our relationship cracked, and the downward spiral began.