Respite

Nick

"You can finish later." I tried to keep my voice soft and gentle despite the fear and anger churning in my guts. She startled anyway, having been completely lost back in Oralia's Court. I cupped her chin, taking in the haunted look in her mossy green eyes. "I've got some soup, or granola bars here. You must be starving by now."She stared unseeingly toward me, but I knew she didn't see me at all. Her eyes remained only partially focused, and I could tell she was still lost back in Oriana's hell of a court. "Come back to me, Celeste. You're not in those dark places anymore." I kissed one cheek then the other, the simple touch allowing her to ground herself back to our reality.Slowly, her eyelids fluttered closed, her dark lashes resting against the skin of her cheeks which were even paler than usual.A moment later, her eyes opened and finally focused on me, the present reasserting itself over traumatic memories threatening to suck her back down. Wordlessly, I wrapped one steadying arm around her shoulder, gratified that she allowed herself to lean subtly into my offered strength. However brutal the revelations she still had to share, she would not have to shoulder the memories alone any longer.I understood far too intimately the scars left by Oriana's corrosive evil. The things I had witnessed while stationed at her court through endless decades… Blind loyalty and ruthless violence had been bred into my bones in that lightless place. I committed atrocities in my Queen's name that could never be undone before her evil finally touched something inside of me and made me crack. I didn't think I could ever be forgiven for the things I'd done, but I'd been trying to balance the karmic scales a bit since I escaped.Just thinking of Celeste enduring even a fraction of the horrors I'd seen firsthand ignited flames of fury licking ever hotter through my veins. She deserved only joy and trust and pleasure after dedicating her life to protecting her people. I would rip the still-beating heart from Oriana's chest myself to avenge all Celeste suffered at that monster's hands and those of her sycophants if I could. Starting with Caspian, who I knew far too well.I banked those raging fires before she sensed the gathering storm within me. Right now, she needed comfort not vengeance. I schooled my voice to remain gentle and steady. "You should rest now, continue the story another time. There's food and even a couple of pallets we brough…"Celeste's fingers tightened almost painfully on my wrist, rooting me back. "I … I need to get this poison out of me first, Nick. I want it purged from my system." Her voice dropped so low I almost didn't hear the next words. "Maybe the nightmares will go away if I can say it all out loud."Raw desperation shone bright in her eyes. My chest squeezed viciously, but I nodded for her to continue unburdening herself at her own pace. She had carried these wounds alone far too long already."Okay, okay," I reassured her. "I'll let you finish, but first eat a bite for me to keep up your strength." I could tell she wanted to argue, to ignore her basic needs in the frantic race to exorcise the demons inside her mind. "Just a short break. Please, my love, for me."She let out a breath and nodded at my entreaty. I quickly dug through the supplies and found something simple—water and a protein bar that would at least fuel her body in a basic way and give her a chance to settle herself before she started her story again. I knew she'd need the strength as I feared the worst part of her story was yet to come.Staring sightlessly into the flickering flames again, halting words spilled from her in the firelight. [RA1] I listened with half an ear for any external threats, but my main focus remained fixed on Celeste, monitoring how her breath hitched describing how her relationship with Caspian, Oriana, and Commander Malachor developed.