Chapter 7
You can put your feet up, be my senorita
We ain't gotta rush just take it slow
You'll be in the high life-
“Ladies you literally won't believe how my day went today” I quickly typed into my phone as I watched Jeremiah’s car pull away. Not expecting an immediate reply I switched my phone back off and walked into the community centre, getting ready to pack up and leave seeing how it was already 8 p.m.
“You have no idea how relieved I am that this day is over. I knew I could count on you and Maya and Jeremiah left extremely happy and had a great day today. mosquito told me as she started to pack up her belongings as well.
“I'm just glad I didn't embarrass the community centre or myself. The moment I saw him get out of the car I felt my heart jump no lie." I let her know as I picked up my bag and my phone looking up and sing a smile plastered on her face.
“Child I knew you'd like Jeremiah. There is a specific reason I made you show him around and I'm so glad he ditched that rude girl.” She said with a small chuckle and a victorious smile on her face.
“Lol, relax Miss Kay, you know he would never go for someone like me, especially with him being who he is plus he already has a girlfriend who I'm sure is more than enough for him.” I told her, not allowing myself to ever get my hopes up in that type of way. As much as I thought he was handsome and kind after we got past the initial meeting, I still didn't want to allow myself to fall for him like that especially knowing that I'm most likely not going to see him again. Also, after meeting his girlfriend I definitely would not want to get in between the two of them and have to face her.
“Girl, bye I know exactly what I'm doing ok? anyways let's go so I can drop you off at home I don't want you having to walk at night.
*30 minutes later*
Finally making it home, I quickly stripped out of my clothes and jumped into the shower, washing away all the dirt from today. Stepping out of the shower a couple of minutes later, I did my night routine using the ordinary products and finally moved into my bedroom, throwing on a pair of biker shorts and a sports bra. Walking into my kitchen and opening the fridge, I realised I barely had any groceries left and I wasn't due to get paid for another day. With only four chicken drumsticks left and rice, I decided to whip up some honey glazed baked chicken with rice and a side of asparagus that I had left.
At this point in time, I only had enough money left for the bus for another 2 days before I completely run out. I felt my anxiety slowly starting to creep in realising that I basically had no money to my name. Being in a situation like this reminded me of how things were at home when we were all together and we had no money.
*Flashback*
“Mum my period just came on, do you have a few dollars so I can run to the corner store and buy a pack of sanitary towels?” I softly asked my Mum noticing how her head was in her hands meaning that she was stressed.
“Honestly Amaya, why do you always ask me stupid questions that you already know the answers to? she asked me with a sneer on her face.
“ I-I, Sorry nevermind.” I told her, taken back by how she was acting. I was pretty sure she had money because my older brother just gave her half of his paycheck a day ago.
Feeling stuck, I knew I'd have to go to the corner store and ask Mrs Jeffrey, hoping should let me take a pack and pay her back once I got paid.
*Flashback over*
Times like this are the reason I grew up being so frugal when it came to money and not ever wanting to spend more than I should. In the beginning when my dad had just left, my mum truly did fight for us and tried to give us everything that we needed but as time went on she started to become more self-centred using the paychecks for her own satisfaction. My siblings and I all had to get jobs knowing that we would need money to take care of ourselves but once we started working, all the pay-checks went to my mum who demanded them because she raised us. Of course this created a lot of tension between her and my siblings and I went from seeing them everyday to about once or twice a week. They all seemed to have somewhere else to go and once they left, it was just my Mum and I.
I was then forced by my mum to pick up a second job at only 17, as well as having to study and keep my grades up. I would see my siblings around at the library or the mall and it looked like they were living life. They always had a new pair of shoes as well as clothes while I was stuck recycling the same clothes I had for years on end. I would be lying if I said I didn't start to resent my siblings just a little bit for leaving me to pick up the burden for all of them when it came to our mum and the house and all the bills. They not once bought me a pair of shoes or even a t-shirt and after a few months, I stopped seeing them completely.
Once I got the second job, I had to lie about how much my pay-check actually was so that I would be able to have money on my own and take care of myself. At this point in time, my mum did lose her job and that's where everything spiraled. A few weeks later as you know we were separated by CPS and despite all the promises made, my siblings never reached out to me like they said they would. I tried everything in vain to look for them but I just couldn't find them and there came a point in time where I had to give up because I was emotionally draining myself.
I remembered days where I barely had anything to eat and would sometimes go to bed without having eaten dinner. There are times I would pack the lunch we were given at school and actually keep it until I got home just so I would have something to eat. The fridge forever stayed empty no matter how much money I would give my mum so I had to resort to buying my own food and keeping it every time she was home so she wouldn't see it.
Pulling myself out of that sorry state, my food was done so I served up a plate and went and sat on the couch putting on Netflix and watching another episode of Love Island. Finishing up, I washed my dishes and quickly realised that I hadn't checked my phone since the community centre. Turning on my Wi-Fi, I quickly saw so many messages rush in from the girls in our group chat
Kerry: Girl wassup?
Jessica: What’s the tea sis? You finally met a man who gon knock your walls?
Kerry: Lmaoooo! Girl please!
Jessica: Hahaha I mean, that’s exactly what I’m hoping for
Jessica: Where exactly is this girl? Texting us that she has something to tell us then going offline like a whole bird!
Kerry: Lol she better come correct quickly!
Me: Ladiesssss! I’m back lmao! Sorry I got home a while back and went into my whole routine completely forgetting.
Jess: Girl stop with the apologies and tell us wassup.
Kaykay: Exactly! Got me all anxious
Me: So remember how I told you that we're going to be visited by Mr Brown at the community centre and miss kay made me be the one to take them around?
Jess: Yeahhh
Me: Obviously I thought Mr Brown would be some old man you know who was just giving back to the community and all that, but when I tell you ladiessss! He is young and FINE!!!!
I'm telling you when he stepped out of that car honey my heart started beating hella fast.
Kaykay: He got you feeling a little moist lmaoooo!
Me: I can't even! When I tell you guys his body is a 10, his muscles are just the perfect size-they're not stupidly big they're just right ! Ouuu when he hugs you, you just disappear. And he has such a tough exterior but after I got to know him he is soft on the inside.
Jess: Yes girl, get your mans!
Me: But tell me why he actually came with his girlfriend who had a whole attitude with me. She looked super disgusted and when we were in the conference room, she basically talked down on me and said how I wasn't all that and ughh I hate that I let her get to me!
Jess: Girl you need us to beat her up?
Kaykay: You know I'm a stalker finding her won't be too hard loool.
Me: Guys please, I know for a fact that I'm not going to see her again neither am I going to see Jeremiah so it is what it is.
Jess: Doesn't mean anything. You should have punched her in her throat the moment she looked at your sideways. Hold up though. Who is Jeremiah?
Me: That's his name.
Kaykay: Okay! We see you guys, all on first name basis. Just hold up let me find this girl on Instagram. But anyways you guys know we haven't hung out in a while we need to hook up and go out.
Jess: Kay! Tell me about it! Yasss ma'am, you are speaking my language for sure.
Me: Hehe it's not like that! Name a time and place and I'll be there. Ayt my girls, I need to catch up on some school work and try to finish my fyp. Love you guys see you later.
Kaykay: Love you too babes bye.
Jess: Much love talk to you ladies later.
Going out of the group chat I noticed I had another message from Shari and I was shocked that she had finally reached out to me after all the times I had tried to talk to her.
Shari: Hey, some of my friends are planning a bridal shower for me. I would like it if you took time out of your busy schedule to come and actually support me since you seem to be so busy these days.
Me: You know I’ll be there! Date and place?
Shari: 10th December. Roscoe’s Lounge and Restaurant. 6pm. Just so you know we do have a dress code. Please wear a yellow dress, any shade. Try not to wear something cheap looking that will embarrass me especially in front of these girls.
After reading what she said, I became self-conscious about the fact that I barely had any clothes to go out in. As much as Shari is my best friend and I love her, she has times where she will put me down so bad knowing that she has a man to buy her everything and that I basically have to fend for myself. I know so many people would tell me to end this toxic friendship, but I started from the bottom with Shari and I'm genuinely happy for her and where she has gotten in life.
As late as it was and considering I had work at the bakery tomorrow, I quickly pulled out my laptop and decided to go on Shein, to see if they had any dresses that were cheap, as well as accessories that I could afford at this moment in time. After scrolling for about 15 minutes, I found the perfect dress for me. It was an off the shoulder knee-length bodycon dress with a split on the right hand side that went up about mid thigh. This dress was extremely daring for me seeing how I wasn't used to exposing so much of my body. After adding it to my cart, I decided to scroll through the shoes just in case and lo and behold I was able to purchase a cute pair of heels that were on sale.
I also bought some really cheap jewellery to much the outfit and tie it together. Feeling satisfied I finally shut my laptop and got into bed, saying a small prayer before drifting off to sleep with Jeremiah on my mind.