Chapter 9: City of Brotherly Love

Pauly’s POV.

“Hey.” I gently nudge Eleanor’s knee with my hand.

The last hour of our trip had eased into a familiar silence, as she had finally found a comfortable position and lulled herself into a semi-peaceful sleep. There was no question that my mind was torn between the mental preparation of what lay before me and the delicious memories of the night before. The way Eleanor eagerly responded to our heated, passionate exploration of one another. I had never struggled more in my life for self-control than I did laying in that bed with her.

If anything, it solidified my feelings and the decision that I couldn’t take it any further with her until the threat was gone. I was feeling so protective of her even without a commitment. I didn’t know how I would respond if she was mine and something happened to her because of my connection to the Syndicate in Philly.

Setting the boundary was the hardest thing I had to do, knowing I completely deflated her. Feeling the strength give way in her hand holding mine was almost enough for me to retract my words and vow my love for her.

But I was determined even now as my hand settled on her knee slowly nudging her awake. I prayed that she would remain patient. That this large obstacle standing in our way would crumble fast. I intended to survive to not only follow through with my word but finally settle every debt in Philly so I could once and for all close that chapter.

“Are we there?” Eleanor asks sitting up in her seat, and pushing her hair back from her face.

“Yeah. Where am I going, sweetheart?” The term of endearment slipped out from my lips before I could catch it.

Feeling like a complete asshole for sending her mixed signals, I internally cringed, glancing over at her to gauge her reaction. Noticing an adorable blush tinting her cheeks only made me feel worse.

I had wanted so badly for as long as I have known her for her to return my feelings. It felt so wrong to be the one to put a stop to it, especially when I should have done it that night in the hotel room.

“I need to check in with the Firm in town.” She gracefully moves past the whole sweetheart thing.

“I sent a text to my friend letting him know of the change in plans, that I was coming in person instead of working the case long distance. He said I’d need to physically drop in to get the keys to the apartment they’re lending us while we are in town. It probably wouldn’t hurt to put a face to the name of the case worker who's working on your sister’s case as well, while I’m there. If anything, at least to try to get a timeframe set in place.”

Apparently, Eleanor’s coping mechanism was to keep her head down and focus on the task at hand when she was confused about a situation. Or even worse yet—heartbroken. My palms grew sweaty at the thought that I had caused irreversible damage to our budding relationship.

Words that I needed to say escaped me, as the feeling of panic crept up my spine. Fishing for my phone in the center console, I quickly pulled up the GPS with the already-programed address of the Philly firm. I listened to the robotic female voice guiding me through the crowded city streets.

“What are you going to do?” Eleanor’s voice pulled me out of my mental prison.

She pulls down the mirror of her visor, frantically combing through her hair before she pulls pins out of her purse. I find myself dividing my attention between the road and watching her expert hands wind her hair into her signature low bun, pinning it into place. I watch as her easy comfortable relaxed self melted into her professional mask, as she was most likely mentally scrolling through her task list.

“I need to check in with a few associates now that I’m physically in town. Strategically show my face in town. Start the buzz that a Russo man has arrived.” I sighed, dread settling into my stomach. “How about I pick you up for dinner, do you think that would give you enough time? I don’t want you working too late tonight babe. No one expects you to do this all in one day.”

“Babe? Sweetheart?” I panic looking over to see her pinning me with her lawyer stare. “I wouldn’t be so tired if I wasn’t kept up all night. Probably would have napped a little bit better in the car if my mind wasn’t trying to process that even after that make-out session. I’ll have you know was my first—”

“Your first?” I couldn’t restrain the shock in my tone.

“Not kiss. But first time doing that yes.”

“Oh.” Like an idiot, I gave a one-word reply.

“What are you doing, Paul? You think you’re being kind to me by sparing me in this some small way. But did you even stop to ask yourself if it’s too late?” Eleanor isn’t cruel in her tone, she’s a good lawyer for a reason. Able to argue her point with articulation and grace.

“What do you mean? Too late for what?”

“I’m already all in Paul. If I wasn’t do you really think I would have done what I did inside that hotel room with you, especially after what I told you? I chose you. I choose you. I choose to come with you on this trip not because you needed me to help you with your sister’s case. But because I like you. I like the way you make me feel. I don’t want to put a pin in this or pause it and wait for the world to be safe enough for us to quietly pursue our feelings. Because the world never is quiet. There’s always something. Someone wanting to pull our attention away.”

I wove in and out of traffic as I let her words settle around me. The warmth that filled me because of them was more than I had ever experienced. I had to focus on the traffic to resist the temptation to pull over. To take her in my arms and show her exactly how she made me feel. That I chose her too.

The GPS showed our destination was slowly closing in, and there was a dread that filled my gut at the thought of being separated from her. The idea of trusting her to the elements without me filled me with fear.

“I… I’m no good at this Eleanor. No good with words or feelings—”

“I don’t need you to speak to me in flowery proses Paul. I just need you to stop pushing me away whenever you feel like you might be threatened, or the situation is dangerous,” Eleanor states as I pull the car over, parallel parking in front of the tall glass building.

“So, which one do you prefer?” I ask out of the blue. “Babe or Sweetheart?”

I turn to face her in the car, the sun reflecting off of the building bounces back shining a beautiful halo behind Eleanor’s head. My breath catches in my chest at the sight of how stunning she is.

“I don’t really have a preference. As long as you call me yours.” Her words do me completely in.

“I’ll pick you up for dinner. Stay close to your friends. If anything happens that makes you uncomfortable, trust your instincts and dial my number and leave. I’ll find you.”

“Are you telling me this because you’re my friend—”

“I’m telling you this because you’re mine.”