Chapter XIV : Silent Morning – Lonely Lonely Tears

29 of Worldscrown, 998 A.N.E.

A black haired girl woke up in panic in an unknown room… at least she tried. Her body was too much in pain for her to move so she only let out a painful moan.

Looking more attentively at the room, she recognized a hospital room. She would often get set to one so she kind of knew the atmosphere of a hospital. Those white and almost featureless walls, that big window on the left, that bouquet of white roses on the table close to the bed, Zazzera staring at her from her chair…

"Huh?!" Alexandra exclaimed. 

"What? Have you seen a ghost?" Zazzera asked.

It seemed as if this wasn't a dream... or was it? Zazzera was sitting close to her bed, a book in her hand and her hair down. She was wearing the ample white dress attributed to patients though she didn't seem so injured. She had bandages here and there, but that was it. It was very contrasting to Alexandra bandaged right arm, shoulder and stomach (as she could feel). 

She squinted her eyes as she looked at Zazzera again, "What are you? A zombie?"

"That's rude. Can't you say something like 'good morning'?"

"My morning isn't good! You were in a sorrier state than me! How did you—"

Alexandra was interrupted by a painful coughing fit.

"Don't talk so much. You have been unconscious for almost 4 days, you know?" Zazzera remarked.

As the last coughing subsided, Alexandra sighed heavily.

"4 days, huh? I will have to wait for… at least 2 days before going there…"

"..."

Zazzera closed the book she was holding and put it on her lap.

"Actually, my family objective is perfect immortality through resurrection," she explained. "My ancestor, Schneeweißchen Grimm – one of the Grimm sisters who founded the LIBRARY and wrote the grimoire [Snow White] – was apparently immortal. She could resurrect from any form of death given she used her clones as a catalyst. We have a legend in the family – actually, she is still alive to this day and will appear to any family member who succeeded in using the grimoire to its full power… or so they say. All I can do is regeneration by consuming my clones. If I died, I would stay dead though, my clones aren't that real yet. That's more or less it."

Alexandra eyes widened and her strand raised like a needle. She tried to get up, but the pain kept her on the bed. She wanted to yell something, but she was caught by another fit of cough.

"What? What is wrong?" Zazzera asked.

"Don't… *cough*... Don't give a 'what is wrong'!!! How can you talk so easily about your family research subject?!! Isn't that supposed to be a secret?!!" Alexandra yelled.

"What is the problem? Aren't you going to die soon? Then there's no problem telling you, is there?" 

Alexandra's eyes narrowed, "You are still saying that?"

"That is what is going to happen," she stated as if it was a certitude.

"... you truly aren't my friend, huh? Ah~... where is Fresne? She would understand me, her!" Alexandra said, rolling her eyes.

"That is why I am here. Actually, Lefresne is dead."

"... wait, what… what did you say?"

"I accidentally killed Lefresne last time, and I was condemned to exile like you. That's a shame, but we will stay around each other for a while. Thanks for having me," she said, extending her hand to Alexandra. 

Alexandra didn't answer anything or take Zazzera's hand. She was just horrified at how that girl exposed the situation so casually. She killed Lefresne and that was how she reacted?

Zazzera smiled slightly and put her hand back on her lap.

"Sorry, I lied. Lefresne had a pretty serious cerebral commotion, but you know her mother. She made sure the three of us would receive the best treatment possible.  Lefresne left the hospital yesterday."

"... hey…"

"Yes?"

"I don't like that kind of joke!!! Do you know how worried I was?!!"

"Then, do you understand how much Lefresne is worried about you?"

"I… um… well…"

Zazzera got up from her chair.

"I… I won't be a sore loser. Even if that fight was interrupted, I admit my defeat," she said, her voice slightly uneasy. "That's why, I will stop trying to make you stay. You are too stubborn for me to do that while keeping you alive."

"Eh~... So you really tried to kill me at the end, huh?"

"I won't apologize for that," she declared.

"I won't ask you to but… Well, that was to be expected… Um… And? Are you here just to tell bad jokes?" Alexandra asked. 

Zazzera shook her head. "No, I also come with bad news."

"What are you? An angel?" Alexandra asked with a sarcastic tone. 

"Ha… ha… Anyway, I must warn that Lefresne and her mother are currently making negotiations with the LIBRARY so that your exile gets canceled and then, they plan to marry the two of you to avoid this kind of situation in the future."

"Huh?"

"Lady Zezzola was very angry at you. She said something like 'Once Adulteress wakes up, I will force her into a bibliomancy duel, beat the crap out of her, and then force her to stay under 2 meters away from Fresne!' or so…" she said, mimicking Zezzola's voice.

"That… is a joke too, right?" Alexandra said, a strand of hair waving in Z fashion. 

Zazzera shrugged. 

"I would like to say yes, but…"

"That can't be serious, right?! Is Fresne okay with that?!"

"What about you?"

"That isn't the issue?!"

"... Lefresne decided to take action now. She won't let you escape and throw your life away if she can stop you, which is why she will marry you even if you don't want to."

Alexandra sighed before laughing nervously, "Oh come on, Fresne isn't a forceful person! She would never do that!"

"Like I said, she changed. She even said that she would play the prince's role at your wedding. As her princess, you will have to accept her demand and live happily ever after, like in the stories."

"Wait, how hard did you hit her? That clearly isn't something she would do normally!"

"Too hard maybe, but the result is here. Given enough time, the two of them will convince the other great families and the motion will be passed," Zazzera admitted, putting her hand on her hips. "At this rate, you will have to stay here, marry Lefresne and bear her children. In short, the classic 'happy ever after' trope."

"What is 'happy' in that?!" Alexandra yelled.

"You don't want to bear her children? Well, I am sure she wouldn't mind bearing yours. What will they look like, I wonder?" Zazzera said, taking a reflexive pose. 

"You know that isn't the issue!! I need to clean my family name by accomplishing something for the city! Something at least as great as the wrong we caused! If I marry Fresne now, especially as her princess, my household will disappear and only be remembered as a family of monsters whose last spawn decided to hide in the Aschenputtel household! That would be bad for both Fresne and me, and I don't want that! You should understand, right?! No matter what you say, I know you hold Fresne dear deep inside your heart. You understand why I don't want that for her too, right?!"

"I wouldn't really mind…" Zazzera mumbled before talking louder, "Don't worry, the LIBRARY won't accept easily since another powerful house is against the Aschenputtels. You should have the time to run away. That's your speciality, after all," she added with a smile.

Alexandra looked at the girl's pale face as she smiled at her. She had the impression someone was crushing her heart with one his hand, and asphyxiating her with the other. Zazzera didn't usually smile brightly, and somewhere, she always wished to see her do that, but not this way… not now…

"Your… Your smile looks horrible," Alexandra said, turning her head toward the window, the strand of hair on her head twirling harder and harder.

Zazzera twitched and let the book she was holding fall to the ground. As her smile disappeared, she looked at her feets for a moment. 

"I suggest you to heal quickly," she said, going toward the door. "That way, I won't have to see your face ever again, stupid dog."

The girl closed the door behind her leaving Alexandra alone again as her left hand crumpled her bedsheets.

"I… I am a bad person, am I not?" she said to herself as she looked  at the birds flying in the blue sky past the window. "But… I can't give up… I can't let the Wolf's name become a symbol of infamy. Even if I can't wash your name, I won't let your legacy decay without doing anything… That's what I decided – our line will either die with me, or be reborn as heroic. I promise you, mother…"

Alexandra realized her hands were trembling yet again. However, she smiled at the fact.

"Looks… like I am not strong enough, huh? I… I am not even determined enough… to not monologue about my motivations… I guess they sound a bit too empty in my head…"

Tears started rolling down her cheeks. She crumpled the bed sheets even tighter.

"Sorry Fresne… Sorry Zera… I… I won't cry anymore… forgive me… I am sorry…" 

The girl started sobbing louder and louder until she burst into tears. Alone inside this white room the lone Wolf was truly lonely for the first time in her life.

***

Behind Alexandra's door, the crow was standing, her forehead against the door. She could hear the girl crying inside, those apologies she couldn't bring herself to really make, that objective, too heavy for the shoulder of an adolescent.

"Adults at 15 because you can read some books? What kind of joke is that? That is less funny than anything I ever said…" she mumbled, clenching her fist. "Those books are stupid… The LIBRARY is stupid… That woman is stupid… This town, that law, that girl, your damn pride, all of this is so stupid…"

She slowly fell to her knees, her body gradually becoming too heavy for her thin legs.

"I… I am so stupid…" she mumbled as she closed her tears filled eyes.

And so, in her usual white and silent desert of snow, the crow cried without letting out a single noise.