Entry No:- 374

River's admission that she liked me came as a surprise, leaving me mildly curious as to what she exactly meant by it. Despite being uncertain about how she expressed her feelings, I was not going to prod on it or ask her anything further. For all I care, she can say she likes me like a puppy, and I would still take it.

The utter shock I experienced upon hearing her words is something I cannot express right now, especially considering how she staunchly defended me without my knowledge. Unlike others, River never wanted any recognition for her kind deeds, which speaks volumes about how much she actually cares for me without expecting anything in return. In my case, other than a few friends and my family, no one has ever been that good to me.

I was already deeply moved by her gestures, but then, unexpectedly, she unleashed a bombshell that shattered every wall that I had built around my heart. I was literally going to expose my own feelings and tell her everything. However, what saved me from completely letting my guard down was the alarm and panic that flickered in her eyes. Her body had grown incredibly still in my hands, and I even doubt she was breathing at all. I couldn't say exactly because the deafening throb of my own rapid heartbeat drowned out any voices from my surroundings.

Fortunately, I quickly regained my composure and told her that I liked her too, cautiously presenting it as a platonic sentiment. In all honesty, my love for her was not just romantic; it included friendship, respect, and understanding, yet I chose to disclose only a fraction of my adoration for now. I was unable to stare at her piercing gaze for more than ten seconds, so I instinctively embraced her, burying myself in her neck.

I don't know why, but I am scared that the more she tries to reveal her emotions, River will take two steps back from me, and the thought itself terrifies me.

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