Entry No:- 373
We did it. Well, we partially did it. I had concerns that River might experience a panic attack during the process, so I had the necessary medication prepared in my bag before coming to her cottage. Fortunately, we didn't need to use any of it. Of course, we didn't actually have sex, but I swear it was far better than that. The experience surpassed mere physical intimacy, leaving us both feeling immensely fulfilled. At least, that was my case.
The way her dominant side took over was really a sight to be seen with bare eyes. I have never seen something more enticing before. Her eye color changed, and the lust in those orbs was literally drawing me closer to her. I felt like both a deer caught in red lights and a starving predator, ready to devour her. But I was taken by surprise when she went down on me—something I had never imagined before. River, the River Alecia Landon gave me a…. God!!! I can't even think about that look on her face without blushing… And I am not someone who easily blushes, for heaven's sake…
The overwhelming pleasure I experienced made me feel like I was on Cloud 9, completely immersed in a dream-like state. Despite a few slight discomforts caused by her teeth, I couldn't help but feel an incomparable sense of satisfaction. It's strange to think that I was her first in everything, and I couldn't have asked for anything more in this life. If I were to leave this world now, I would do so as a content and fulfilled man, without any regrets whatsoever.
Earlier, I noticed her trembling and the instant changes in her behavior. I knew she was having a recollection of her past, and it pained me to think just how much she was suffering. After the fourth try, I saw how pale her face was and decided not to push her any longer, but I didn't want to embarrass her, not that she had any reason to. It was a miracle that she lasted that long without breaking. River was so much stronger than she gave herself credit for. I joked about my size being too big to distract her, and it somehow eased her tension. She was sleeping like a baby in the middle of my boasting, and I have never felt more content.
River doesn't know that today she made me the happiest man alive. Just when I believed my love for her had reached its pinnacle, her actions continue to prove me wrong. With every passing day, my affection for this remarkable woman grows deeper and stronger. She is everything I have ever dreamed of, and even more. I am actually scared that something will inevitably go wrong in the near future. It seems almost impossible for a person to experience this level of happiness consistently. A person can never be this peaceful all the time, right? Something should go wrong. That's the physics of life. But I don't know how I could face it. I am not ready to let go of this phase. I don't want anything to happen to us. F*ck, I am scared.
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