CHAPTER 38 - COMFORT

Two days later, it was that time of the month again. As much as I despised the cramps and the discomfort, there was a silver lining to this monthly ordeal. Eugene had always been there to cater to my every need during these days. And boy, did he go above and beyond!

The moment I mentioned my period, Eugene sprung into action. He transformed into my very own personal caretaker, armed with hot water bags and an endless supply of comfort food. He knew exactly what would make me feel better, and he spared no expense in securing those things for me. But what truly melted my heart was his thoughtfulness toward Lorraine. Whatever goodies he bought for me, he made sure to pick up an extra set for her, too. It was these slight gestures that truly spoke volumes about his character.

We lounged around, binge-watching our favorite shows. The pain seemed to fade away, replaced by a comforting warmth that emanated from our shared warmth. It was a stark reminder of just how lucky I was to have Eugene.

"You know, it feels like I am the one benefiting from your pain."

Lorraine commented as she took a sip of the hot coco handed to us by Eugene and pointed at him, who was now preparing lasagna in the kitchen.

"I know, right."

I groaned, but a small smile played on my lips.

Sometimes Eugene and I had a relationship filled with fiery debates and unyielding stubbornness. We clashed over our differing opinions, and there were times when we couldn't even stand the sight of each other. Yet, despite our disagreements, I always knew that, deep down, Eugene cared about me.

My stubborn nature was both a strength and a weakness. While it fueled my determination, I feared that it might push Eugene away. I didn't want to lose someone so special, so I made it a point to swallow my pride and apologize first whenever I was at fault. Even if it wasn't entirely my fault, I would be the one to initiate the conversation, knowing that our bond was far more valuable than winning an argument. And Eugene, being perceptive as ever, understood the unspoken language between us. If I didn't make the first move, he would take the lead, knowing that he had made the mistake this time. Our connection was too strong to let petty disagreements get in the way. So, even when both of us were seething with anger, we would flood each other's Instagram with hilarious and relatable memes until our anger dissolved into laughter.

"Do you have any cousins that resemble you, Eugene?"

Lorraine inquired, and Eugene paused his onion-chopping. He brushed his tears away and turned to face us, blinking quickly. He was really adorable.

"I have. However, they already have girlfriends or are married. And from what I recall, you also have a boyfriend."

Eugene remarked, waving the knife at Lorraine as if condemning her. Yes, he was both adorable and hot. If I wasn't on my period, I would have ripped that apron off his body and smeared whipped cream all over him so I could lick it off. God, he's turning me into a beast.

"I'm just shooting my luck."

Lorraine said it with a sly smirk, and Eugene shook his head, chuckling.

"He's a keeper."

Lorraine whispered to me before getting up and heading back to her room, where we could hear her phone ring. Yes, he's a keeper. But did I deserve him? I wasn't lowering myself, but I didn't want him to be with someone who could only provide him with temporary affection and happiness.

Lost in my thoughts, I was jolted back to reality by the insistent ringing of my phone. I glanced at the screen and saw Cathy's name flashing across it. Cathy was one of my ever-reliable subeditors who had a knack for calling at the most inconvenient times, but right now, she was a welcome distraction from the apprehensions that had been creeping in. With a sigh, I answered the call, preparing myself for another task to add to my never-ending to-do list. Cathy's voice came through the line, brisk and efficient.

"Hey,"

"Hello?"

I groggily replied, secretly hoping she wouldn't ask me to come back to work. I had already spent a good part of the morning video calling her and tying up any loose ends. But there were always a couple of pesky tasks that lingered.

"Hi Landon. I am extremely sorry for disturbing you, but we are kind of stuck now. So I really, really, really need your help."

As much as I wanted to resist, I knew I couldn't evade my responsibilities like that. Plus, there was a part of me that secretly enjoyed working with Cathy. Her infectious enthusiasm somehow made the most tedious tasks bearable and, dare I say, even enjoyable.

"It's alright. You don't have to be sorry for doing your duty. So, what is it?"

"Do you perchance have a copy of Scene 26, the unedited one? Apparently Nathaniel lost it."

"Why? The old man can't even remember where he kept his copies?"

I asked jokingly, and I heard Nathaniel's groan from the other side. Of course, I knew the call was on speaker, and he was the one who pushed Cathy to call me. The old man resembled too much of my father, and I was growing to become quite fond of him.

"It's not that I don't remember; it's just that I forget."

I could practically hear the eye roll in his voice as he responded to my jocular inquiry, and I laughed but stopped immediately as my stomach cramped because of the movement.

"Same thing. Anyway, I have it."

"Great! I will drop by in fifteen."

Cathy said and hung up before Nathaniel and I could enter into one of our infamous banter sessions.

"All okay?"

Eugene asked, taking the empty coffee mug from my hand and readjusting the blanket on me.

"Nathaniel lost the script. Again."

As I tried to push myself up from the cozy cocoon of my blankets, I let out an exasperated sigh, and my legs felt heavy, as if they were made of lead. The mere act of standing suddenly resembled a Herculean feat.

"Just lie down and tell me where it is."

I informed him where it was since I too felt that it was better than me getting up. Three minutes later, Eugene returned and gave me a blue file.

"Yup, that's it. Can you please drop it off at the reception? Cathy will come and get it."

Eugene nodded and took off his apron as he prepared to leave. But before he left, he leaned down and kissed me firmly on the lips, which caught me off guard. His eyes were burning, and I nearly believed he was going to say, "I love you." But he did not. Instead, he simply walked away, smiling widely.

As Eugene strutted out the door, I remained there, dumbfounded. His unexpected kiss left me reeling, my thoughts racing a mile a minute. There was something so intoxicating about the way his lips met mine—a magnetic pull that left me breathless even after he was gone. And why did I feel disappointed when he didn't utter those three treacherous words? Was I truly expecting him to profess his love for me? Wouldn't that make me a cunning bitch? As I pondered my own desires, I questioned myself about whether it was fair to hope Eugene would say something I, myself, couldn't confess.

Conflicting emotions swirled within me—a concoction of curiosity, fear, and longing. Deep down, I knew that the walls I had built around my heart were impenetrable, and those vulnerable words would never escape my lips. But a part of me couldn't help but wonder, What if? What if Eugene defied the odds and declared his love for me? Would it shatter the delicate balance I had created or set me free from my self-imposed restraints?

From the moment Eugene walked into my life, subconsciously, I knew he was going to be a game-changer. Sure, I had always struggled with commitment in the past, but there was something about him that set my heart ablaze. It's been nearly three months since we started this rollercoaster of a relationship, and boredom has not even dared to knock on my door. I mean, seriously, who has time for monotony when every day with him feels like a wild adventure?

I have to admit, though, that there was a part of me that was terrified. I was terrified of how much I wanted him. It was like an insatiable craving that only grew stronger with each passing day. At first, I brushed it off as mere infatuation, but as time went on, it became impossible to ignore. I wanted to be with him, to know him inside and out, to hold on to every precious moment as if it were my last.

This constant desire scared the living daylights out of me. I had always prided myself on being fiercely independent, guarding my heart like a ferocious dragon protecting its treasure. Yet, with Eugene, it was as though my walls had crumbled, leaving me vulnerable and exposed. The fact that I wanted him more and more, despite my deep-seated fear of commitment, was both exhilarating and terrifying all at once. It was like teetering on the edge of a cliff, unsure whether to leap into the unknown or retreat to the safety of solitude.

Eugene returned fifteen minutes later and still had a smile on his face. I wanted to ask him what it was all about, but when Lorraine came back from her phone call with Matt, I decided to leave it for the time being. We all had lunch together, and Lor retired to her room, saying she had to check the financial statement for the month, but I knew she was giving us our privacy. She must have noticed the strange looks I was occasionally giving Eugene or the latter's constant vibrant grin, which was unusual as well.

As I crawled into bed, my body craving the sweet embrace of sleep, my eyes caught sight of a familiar set of papers neatly arranged on my desk. I couldn't resist my curiosity, and I flipped through the pages, my eyes widening with a mixture of panic and disbelief. It was the very same set of printed papers that Eugene had typed for his superior—the ones that I had surreptitiously taken from John.

"Care to explain how the report I gave to John ended up in your closet?"

My head snapped to the doorway, and I found Eugene leaning nonchalantly on the door frame like he had just walked off the pages of a romance novel. Caught in the act, I couldn't help but feel a pang of embarrassment, but I wasn't about to let that show. No, I had to match his effortless composure and play it cool myself. With a quick flick of my hand, I indifferently closed the file and placed it back on the table.

"He gave it to me."

I suggested, and I must admit that it was not completely untrue, isn't it? Commonly, such reports are delegated to our assistants and not dealt with directly by us. It would be naïve to assume that he was unaware of this fact. Eugene, with his perfectly tousled hair and a hint of mischief in his eyes, raised an eyebrow at me. It was as if he read me like an open book, and I was just making a fool of myself by pretending to be unconcerned.

"Really? I guess I now know why John suddenly began to treat me fairly. It always confused me."

I shook my head, feeling a rush of blood on my cheeks, a clear sign that I was blushing. With a mix of awareness and trepidation, I climbed into my bed and pulled the covers snugly over me, deliberately avoiding making eye contact with him. Deep down, I knew he had the ability to see right through me and decipher the intensity of my emotions.

An initial silence hung in the air, amplifying the sound of my heartbeat, which thundered in my ears. Then, a faint rustling broke the stillness, signaling the movement of my bedsheet. Before I could fully comprehend what was happening, I could feel the warmth of his body pressing against my back in a comforting and intimate proximity. His long arm gently enfolded my body, providing a sense of security and solace. And then, in a tender gesture, he planted a soft kiss on the nape of my neck, electrifying my senses and sending tingles down my spine.

"Thank you."

I could feel wetness on my skin, and my eyes flew open in alarm. Was he crying?

I tried to turn to face him, but he held me tight so that I wouldn't move.

"Don't. I won't be able to talk if I see you."

So I didn't move. Instead, I placed my hand over his and stroked the warm skin.

"You know I am double-racial, right? My mother is Thai, while my father hails from England. Unfortunately, throughout my school and college years, I faced constant bullying and harassment. In an attempt to fit in and avoid becoming a target, I resorted to becoming a people-pleaser. I adopted a class clown persona, hoping that it would deter others from picking on me. Over time, this led me to lose touch with my own opinions and individuality. It was a difficult experience that I never shared with my parents, although my sister, who faced similar challenges, was aware of what I was going through. Although she tried to be there for me, there was only so much she could do, and I don't blame her. She had her own demons to fight."

I grasped his hand firmly, fully understanding the gravity of his words. The traumatic effects of high school bullying cannot be underestimated or dismissed as a trivial matter. Its impact on an individual's life goes far beyond the comprehension of those who have not endured it themselves. The behavior exhibited by teenagers during these times can be nothing short of monstrous. I know of many incidents where students have committed suicide because they couldn't suffer bullying anymore.

"I allowed others to take advantage of me, but you, on the other hand, are completely different. Around you, I feel comfortable being my true self. And now, knowing the ways in which you have protected and supported me, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I am deeply touched by your actions. Does that make me pathetic? Less manly?"

Eugene asked, chuckling nervously, and though he didn't expect an answer from me, I was going to give him one. I turned around slowly, feeling the persistent reminders of my uterus, and as my gaze met Eugene's, I observed a steady stream of tears cascading down his face. Tenderly, I cradled his sorrow-filled face in my hands, instinctively reaching out to gently wipe away his tears while peppering his dampened cheeks with affectionate kisses.

"I feel honored that you confided in me. In a world where societal norms make it difficult for men to cry in the open, I am glad you found me comfortable enough to show your emotions. And I will protect you, just like you protect me. You deserve nothing less. I am a feminist, you know. I believe in equality."

I stated, and a heartwarming smile adorned both of our faces. Waves of relief descended over me, witnessing his beautiful smile and carefree expression reclaim their rightful place. In that moment, a staggering surge of emotions coursed through me, and I had the sudden urge to cry along with him. Blaming it on the erratic nature of my hormones would be convenient, but I know it was something more profound. Knowing how much Eugene suffered in the past pained me deeply, igniting an indignant fire within. I wanted to look after him, to fiercely confront those who had ever made him feel unworthy or flawed in any way.

"I like you."

My hand abruptly halted mid-stroke as I looked up, bewilderment etched upon my face. Time seemed to stand still as my eyes locked with Eugene's, our wide-eyed gazes mirroring each other's astonishment. I couldn't find the words to articulate the swirling thoughts within me.

I just didn't say that!

.............