Repeat Till You Remember

"I'am home," Fara half-shouted as she stood at the door of her parents' house.

Sultan and Melinda, who were enjoying dinner, stopped what they were doing. Melinda quickly wiped the corner of her mouth, still stained from the spicy sambal she had bought online, and half-ran to see if that was really her beloved daughter's voice.

"Fara?" she said, full of excitement as she watched Fara close the door while carrying a small rolling suitcase.

Fara didn't answer, instead, she hugged her mom and kissed both of her cheeks.

"Come on, eat, I made grilled chicken." Melinda was so happy she didn't even let Fara go to her room to drop her stuff first. She pushed Fara toward the dining room.

Fara obeyed since her stomach was already growling, having forgotten to eat the grilled shrimp from Bonita earlier that afternoon.

"Come on, baby, let's eat," Sultan said.

Fara sat down at the table, and Melinda quickly served her a generous portion of rice from a large white plate.

"So, you're staying here again now?" Melinda asked.

Fara shook her head after taking a big bite of chicken thigh.

"I'm here to tell you some news. My company won the ministry project bid." Fara beamed with pride, eager to show Sultan what she had accomplished.

Sultan smiled.

"Well, you have to get your hands dirty on this big project. It's your first mega project, after all."

Fara furrowed her brow, sensing something was off with Sultan's reaction. It was different from her mom's excitement. Something wasn't right here.

"Aren't you surprised, Dad? Hmm… Could it be?"

"We, as social beings, need help. But asking for help doesn't mean it's an insult," Sultan said calmly, not even looking at Fara.

"Oh," Fara responded, understanding what Sultan meant. A little pang of disappointment stirred in her heart.

"It's not an insult, but I didn't ask for help," she added sarcastically.

Melinda stopped eating, sensing the tension between father and daughter.

"Help doesn't need to be asked for. What's wrong with that?" Melinda chimed in, trying to ease the situation.

"No one's saying it's wrong, but I know what I'm capable of!" Fara raised her voice, her appetite dwindling as her stomach seemed to quiet down.

"Consider this a stepping stone, not a handout. It's not about how to get it, but how to prove it. If you really know your abilities, then show it. No more help in the future," Sultan said, putting down his fork and spoon. He rested his chin on his hand, locking eyes with Fara, who was glaring back, holding back her anger.

"Prove it," he added.

Fara huffed in frustration. If this were a cartoon, steam would probably be coming out of her ears.

"Thanks," she muttered, looking away.

Sultan smiled. His daughter had grown up. She was better at controlling her emotions now. He felt so proud. In his heart, he prayed that the help he offered in securing this project would lead to even greater success for Fara in the future.

Fara was annoyed because she realized this achievement wasn't all her own doing, but even more so, she was upset about the challenge her dad had laid down. The only way to salvage her pride was to finish this project with an excellent score.

"Come on, eat before it gets cold," Melinda said, breaking the tension.

After dinner, Fara went to her room. She felt so tired. She tossed her bag on the floor and threw herself onto the soft bed. Ah, the bed and the familiar scent of home helped her body relax a little.

She stared at the high ceiling of her room.

"Fall at first, not fall in the end," she whispered, repeating Ziggy's words in her mind.

Fara turned around and hugged her pillow. She didn't expect that a silly quote would actually stick with her.

Could he be related to Jim Rohn or something? Fara's mind wandered.

"Fall at first, not fall in the end," she repeated the words again until her eyelids grew heavy, and she finally drifted off to sleep.

~~~

This week was pre-production time, and Fara, who had to get directly involved, was kept busy making various decisions. From gathering ideas that fit the requirements, choosing the production team, to selecting the actors and actresses who would promote this project successfully. Fara also had to go back and forth in meetings with the ministry team to discuss concepts and ensure they aligned with the client's wishes.

It turns out that being the person in charge of making decisions is exhausting, both physically and mentally. For some reason, after one concept was approved, there were always those 'magical' requests that came up. There was always some extra work that complicated things, and moments when Fara had to sit through arguments between the client's team.

"Hhh…" Fara exhaled deeply after finishing her fifth meeting that afternoon. She was accompanied by her driver and Bonita, who seemed just as tired as she was.

"Do you want me to get you some coffee, Boss?" Bonita glanced back at Fara, who was sitting in the backseat.

Fara looked out the window at the bustling streets of Jakarta and the blazing hot sun.

"Sure. Two shots with almond milk and caramel sauce." Suddenly, Fara was in the mood for something sweet and cold. She needed to recharge and face the next task before heading to Kalimantan for production.

"Okay, let's go to Nin's Coffee first," Bonita said.

"Ah!" Fara suddenly realized something was off. She didn't want to go to that place. Not anymore. She didn't want to see that person.

"Why, Boss?" Bonita asked, hearing Fara's tone change.

But Fara knew that the coffee there was the best, and she especially loved Nindy's coffee. She couldn't resist; she was craving the taste of Nindy's brew.

"You go in and get it, Bon. I'll wait in the car."

That was the only way. She'd wait in the car so she could still enjoy the coffee but avoid running into Nindy.

Bonita nodded, understanding Fara's request, although she found it a little strange since Fara usually made sure to greet the owner of the café. She realized Fara had stopped asking her to get coffee from there recently. Fara only drank the coffee Bonita brought without any complaints.

Ah, maybe it's just exhaustion, Bonita thought, brushing off the odd feeling.

The drive back to the office was smooth, taking just fifteen minutes. The atmosphere in the car was quiet as everyone had no energy left to even comment on the traffic.

They arrived at the building where Nin's Coffee was located. Fara had the car parked in the basement, as she didn't want Nindy to see her car there.

After Fara handed Bonita some cash, Bonita went inside to get the coffee. It was just Fara and the driver left in the car.

Around lunchtime, the place would usually be crowded. Bonita might take a little while.

Fara tried to close her eyes, hoping to catch a quick nap. But then, she felt the sudden urge to pee. Ugh, she had no choice but to get out of the car and use the bathroom. It would be awkward to leave Bonita with three coffees while she was so tired.

"Hey, I'm going to step out for a minute," Fara said.

"Sure, Boss," the driver replied politely, unlocking the door.

Fara entered the building and searched for the restroom. She hoped she wouldn't run into Nindy. She didn't want to see her face again. The hatred had consumed her, especially after everything with Sean had ended just the way Nindy had hoped. The pain felt even worse. Fara foolishly thought this was some kind of karma from God and had been blaming herself for days.

But along with the hate, Fara also felt something else stirring, something she couldn't ignore. She hurried her pace, barely making it to the bathroom in time.

"Shit, that was close," Fara sighed in relief as she sat down. After finishing, she flushed the toilet and went to wash her hands.

Her steps halted when she saw a woman in the mirror, staring at her.