The Best I Can Offer

The tournament of swords was one the biggest annual events at Mount Hua, held every autumn and open to all disciples. During my first couple of years here, I had always wished to be able to prove myself in those matches and make Bai Ye proud.

That thought still lingered in my mind, and now that Qi Lian had mentioned it, I felt an urge to give it a try. But on the other hand, what would it prove if I were to win a tournament with someone else's spiritual power? It seemed like cheating. And what if others question my speed of improvement?

After leaving Xie Lun's hall, I was so busy with those thoughts that I barely noticed where my feet had brought me until I was already at our front gate.

Bai Ye was practicing in the garden, and I stood at the entrance watching him for a while. It was just like my usual morning routine for the past five years, hiding in the shadows of dawn and watching his graceful figure washed in the golden light. Except I was no longer in the shadows, and it was no longer dawn—because he didn't want to wake me up from my beautiful sleep.

I couldn't help smiling. I was grateful for everything that led me to where I was today.

Bai Ye noticed my presence, though he said nothing, and I watched him in peaceful silence until he completed the final move. He sheathed his sword and smiled at me, "What is it?"

He could always tell when something was on my mind.

"I …" I had readied the questions about the tournament on my way back, but when I opened my mouth to answer, suddenly all I could think of to say was: I missed you. Even though it had only been a few hours.

I felt blood rushing to my face. What a crazed and indecent thought. I took a deep breath to reorganize myself, then managed to say: "I've been thinking about the tournament of swords next month."

"It's a good learning opportunity for you," he sat down at the tea table next to him and said. "You don't need my permission for it. Just sign up on the main peak."

"But …" I lowered my head and wrung my hands nervously. The words that I had already prepared escaped me—it was oddly difficult to speak out about my worries when he was so unconditionally supportive.

"I should've explained this to you sooner, Qing-er," he added, seeing my unease. "My spiritual power can make your body stronger—which was how it helped you force out the venom—but without following a proper dual cultivation technique, you won't be able to fully control it or wield it at will through a sword. The progress you're seeing in your swordsmanship is from your own effort, not mine. Show it to everyone and be proud."

I looked up at him, too many thoughts fighting for dominance in my mind. He knew me so well, and he didn't need a word from me to see through all my doubts and worries. Maybe he even knew how much I needed that reassuring, gentle kindness in his eyes.

But if what he said was true, then where did my power come from? Was it really from Twin Stars like Xie Lun suspected?

"Senior Xie Lun told me today that some ancient swords could carry spiritual power of their own …" I ventured. "Is it true that Twin Stars are among them? Is that how I was able to improve so fast?"

Bai Ye's eyes seemed to darken for a moment. "Twin Stars were forged with the ancient technique, and they can indeed awaken hidden power in you. But the power is yours all the same. If Xie Lun were to hold these swords, they wouldn't have resonated with him as they did with you."

His answer only shocked me more. I had never heard of swords that worked differently depending on the wielder. Just what type of artifact was Twin Stars?

"If you really wish to know," He hesitated slightly, then continued, "I will be honest with you. Your spiritual root … limits your command of spiritual power over metal, which isn't ideal for swordsmanship. To break this barrier and advance further, you need a way to compensate for your lack of affinity to swords. Twin Stars help you with exactly that."

Compensate? I had always known that my spiritual root was weak, but to hear that it was to the extent of being unsuitable for swordsmanship … was surprising, and it hurt a little.

"Does it mean that … without these swords, I would never be able to get stronger no matter how hard I try?" I asked, my voice thin and wavering.

"In a way … yes," he replied softly. "But remember, power isn't the only way to measure a person's success. You have a talent in medicine, and in my mind, the art to ease pain and save lives is far more impactful and honorable than the art to kill. But you've always preferred swordsmanship, and I respect your choice. Even though that path will be less smooth for you, in no way does it imply you are weak or less worthy."

I looked down at Twin Stars. This was why he gave them to me—because I insisted on following a path that didn't suit me. "Master … I know how much these swords mean to you. If this is the price it takes—"

"Qing-er," he interrupted me, "you told me before that you were willing to risk anything as long as it helped with your progress. Is this still how you feel? Is this the path that you've chosen, out of your own desire and not just for praise and approval from others?"

I opened my mouth, but I couldn't find an answer.

"You don't have to answer me now. Take your time and think carefully. Just remember to follow your heart."

I nodded, though I wondered if there would ever come a day when I could truly follow my heart and live a life like his, free and unbound by expectations and judgments of the world.

"And about Twin Stars …" I persisted. Swords that could compensate for spiritual roots were even rarer than the ones Xie Lun mentioned, and I couldn't bring myself to think that I was worthy of them. "They are too precious. I don't think I'm entitled to keep them …"

"You are my only disciple," Bai Ye said. "Have been, and always will be. If you aren't entitled to the best I can offer, who is?"