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Bad Luck Kline Gets a Yandere

Kline has a curse. Whenever he makes a woman smile, she shows up half-traumatized the next day—assuming she doesn't have broken bones. If that wasn't enough, he has the worst luck. It was so bad that he survived Truck-Kun and woke up in a hospital with 45 broken bones instead of a fantasy world. The combination made him destined to die a handicapped virgin on the cusp of despair. That abruptly changed when he got a system to overcome his bad luck. Twenty-seven brutal days later, he was a handsome superhuman with a female-attracting pheromone and cheat codes for becoming a billionaire with a harem. Life was supposed to be easy. Unfortunately, the system exposed the main source of his lifelong misfortune—a gaggle of obsessive yanderes. Neither Kline nor anyone could've guessed the women stalking him were yanderes. They were stable, successful, and exceedingly normal—unless triggered. Unfortunately, when women aggressively threw themselves at Kline, the yanderes came out into the open. With each trying to "protect" Kline from losing his virginity, their love quickly devolved into a battle royale. Kline tried to escape but quickly learned that even the most extreme cheats weren't enough to win a misfortune chess against the AIs on max difficulty. Therefore, he abandoned his dreams to live the easy life and began grinding the system-recommended skillsets necessary to bring out his system's potential and fight for his cultured dreams. - - This is a hardcore comedy. Prepare to sacrifice a catastrophic number of brain cells for truckloads of undeserved dopamine. - There will be romance, harem culture, and Kline will eventually love his yanderes. The yanderes may stop trying to kill one another. Maybe. - These are real yanderes; expect delusional mindsets and no-holds-barred criminal behavior. Seriously. — [Mature Content] — Comedy | Harem | System | Weak to Strong | R18+ | Yanderes | Yanderes! | YANDERES! | Slice of Life | ;) | Get it? | Satire | Parody | Landslide Comedy | Weeb Humor | Good Ol' Fashion Dick Jokes | Immature | Mature AF | Speaking of Which | Mature Content | Eechi | Softcore Smut | Lol wut? | Read It | No Murder | Probably | Have Fun!

Margrave · Fantasia
Classificações insuficientes
19 Chs

Let Us See Him!

Kline and Rebecca held their breath as they filed in, preparing to strip and join the bath. Neither of them dared to move. They were breaking boundaries!

It was entirely professional for them to be in the bath together, with her washing his naked body.

However, and colossal fucking [however] at that! There was a transpicuous problem with her being on her knees between his legs as he groped her breasts!

Naturally, keeping in their position was highly irrational, but they both seized up. It didn't help that he could feel her beating heart in his hand. It reinforced his fears tenfold.

"Did you hear there was a cute boy here?" A woman asked excitedly.

"Boy? Try man! I saw him when he checked in, he's… perfect looking."

"Don't exaggerate, Sarah."

"No, seriously! He's damn near perfect."

"I'll second that. If he's the guy who was there around noon, than I agree!"

Kline's heart pulsed when he heard the praise! Rebecca felt the same jolt, considering she was somehow lucky enough to get him naked in the bath alone and to touch her breasts!

The more they heard, the more they listened without moving. Until—

"Ahem!"

—a quiet yet gruesomely confrontational cough sounded from behind them.

He turned his head to the side with the fluidity of a rusty cog.

Bell stood to their side with her hands on her towel-covered hips. Her eyes flickered with bloodlust, devoid of mercy or adjudication. "What are you doing here?"

"U-Using the bathing service." Kline stuttered, staring at the barely visible demon who stalked through the mist like a predator.

"Is that so?" She smiled maliciously, "If you're receiving the back cleaning service, can you explain why you're cleaning [her] front? That couldn't get more backward."

His eyes widened, and he looked down, realizing he was still holding her breasts! He was so distracted and comfortable groping them that he forgot about them!

They separated, each covering their chest and blushing furiously. Naturally, it was awkward for him also to hide his chest and blush, but he did it by instinct.

"Don't misinterpret the situation." The busty woman whispered, "We couldn't see each other in the mist, and I fell into him. That's all."

"And that happened a couple of seconds before I showed up? Hmmm?" Bell hummed.

Kline dry-swallowed. "We were just surprised you showed up. I asked to bathe without the women present and got offered the service."

"Is that so?" The brunette mused, genuinely mulling it over with a mysterious expression.

"Once again, please don't misinterpret this situation." Rebecca whispered confidently, "I'm here doing my job. This service is available to Mr. Noble, due to his sexual nature."

Kline's heart pulsed excitedly. It was available due to his sexual nature? Nice!

Bell frowned and looked at him with a semi-pitying gaze that made him feel nervous. "I guess that is the case, isn't it?

So I suppose it'd be impossible for this to be misinterpreted. Is that right?"

The virgin teen's eyes widened in shock. Impossible to misinterpret it as anything other than a grope sesh? If that were the case, the brunette would be flaying his ass and grilling it on skewers! So why was there pity in her voice!?

"Exactly." Rebecca replied in a low voice.

Not exactly!

"Even if he asked to touch them like other women, it wouldn't matter beyond unprofessionalism." The busty brunette said, releasing her arms from her chest. "He's harmless."

Harmless!? He appreciated trust in his character, but something about that term was horrifying!

"Is that so?" Bell mused mysteriously, "You're right. I've known him for most of my life, and I can verify he's harmless—and innocent. You wouldn't be trying to change that, would you?"

What do you mean you've known me for most of your life, you crazy woman!? Don't improvise stories to feed your cockblocking agenda!

"Wait, what are—" Kline tried to clarify their relationship but stopped when he heard a stampede of women entering the bath from the other side of the fog, "Never mind, I'd like to leave now!"

Bell knew he was straight somehow. Hashtag stalking hacker suspect on the precipice of an open-shut slamdunk case!

She also had an aggressive mood-nuking regimen that she adhered to without fail!

Not nice!

That's why he wanted the hell out of there—and fast!

"I suppose it is time to leave, isn't it?" Rebecca asked, standing up with her breasts in his face, with subtle pink peaks attempting to break through the mist like mountains under cloud cover.

She reached out her hand. However, there was a problem; he abruptly got a raging boner again, and walking around naked was impossible!

The hopeless virgin bit his cheek aggressively, drawing blood to make it go down. However, his eyes deadened when they healed instantly, and Rebecca's breasts immediately gave him another.

Luckily, his disdain for the situation made it droop a moment later, and he gratefully took her hand. However, as he stood—

"Who's in here already?" A cute voice asked through the fog.

"I thought we'd be the first. Damn, you're fast at undressing!"

"Right? It's been two minutes!"

Three voices waded into the bath quickly, approaching them with record speed.

"I hate my life." Kline whispered, "I hate it so goddamn much."

"It's okay." Rebecca giggled lightly, "You're allowed to be in here. So let's just leave, and I'll explain if we run into anyone."

"Explain what?" Another woman asked from behind. Her voice sounded sweet, curious, and innocent.

The voluptuous brunette jumped, startled by the sudden shift. She didn't hear or feel anything before the woman talked. It was eerie.

Kline was also surprised. For some reason, the voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't remember. The feeling was annoying him more every time he experienced it—so constantly.

Rebecca turned around and found a petite woman with b-cup breasts and soft features staring at her.

The woman's golden eyes and breast-length straight brown hair made her look extremely cute, but the delusional look in her eyes shattered that reputation instantly.

"Kline was bathing before we arrived, but we didn't see because of the steam." Bell explained dryly, rolling her eyes, "He wants to leave, but he's shy and afraid to walk around."

"Wait! What!? Kline's here!?" A blonde cried, materializing slightly from the mist, "Taryn! He's here!"

"What did you say, Caitlyn!?" Another cute voice cried in the distant fog, "Give me a moment! I'll be there in a second!"

"W-Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa! I don't think this is a good idea, ladies!" Kline said in a cracking, panicking voice.

"What part of shy and wanting to leave don't you get?" Bell scoffed in exasperation, "Receptionist, go get him a towel."

"Don't call me receptionist!" Rebecca snapped with a twitching eyebrow, putting her hands on her hips, "My name is Rebecca!"

"Rebecca, Becky, Lexi, whatever." The fiery teen replied, "Just do it so we can get him out of here."

"You do it!" The busty woman laughed, "You're out of the bath; I'm covering him from the eager women trying to see him."

"I'm sure he'd rather get exposed than get motorboated to death." Bell scoffed in annoyance, "So stop speaking for him and do your job."

Rebecca looked down and saw Kline's face an inch away from her cleavage. "I'm so sorry!"

Sorry!? Sorry!? About what!? What type of—

The busty woman couldn't see his cross-eyed face drooling with excitement as her breasts inched forward. So she immediately pulled away.

Kline's face filled with indignation. He was hit with yet another misinterpretation facilitated by the anti-cock-hawk patrol!

An explosion of excited whispers rippled through the mist as the women got near, hearing the juicy motorboating talk.

"There's a lot of people and… I appreciate getting shielded." Kline pleaded shamelessly, trying to get Rebecca to stay, "I'm very embarrassed."

Bell scoff-laughed and stepped down into the bath, still wearing her towel. "Fine, I'll shield you. Just hurry up with getting the towel, you wannabe Capricorn."

No one understood what her trailing statement to the brunette meant. However, they knew it was an insult, and not knowing what it meant made it more offensive somehow.

Rebecca scoffed, rolling her eyes. She wanted to lay into the woman but was still at work. It hurt her soul, but she was officially an adult, so she moved aside as the firey teen waded over to replace her.

Kline was moderately excited at first. Bell's perfectly proportionate c-cup breasts and volleyball bubble butt made her body his type.

However, the wet white towel around her—showcased nothing! All he could do was look at the back of her neck while she stared down the woman throngs of women like a guard dog.

"Come on! Just let us see him, at least!"

"Isn't that okay, Kline?"

"We're not trying to make you uncomfortable."

"I…." Kline dry-swallowed, "I don't think that's a good idea. I can almost guarantee this is a bad idea."

"Does anyone here think it's a bad idea?" Caitlyn, a beautiful blonde, asked cheerily.

"Why would it be?"

"Yeah, there's nothing wrong with him being here."

"You know we got a heads up about you, right?"

"We're excited to have you here; you don't have to hide from us!"

"I, uh, w-wait up, ladies! I think there's a major misunderstanding." Kline stuttered awkwardly from behind Bell, "I'm just the writer for the retreat.

So what alternative universe makes that a reason to be excited about me bathing with the women communally?

I'm not complaining; I'm just very delightfully confused. Definitely afraid… but delightfully confused."

The women looked at each other from the mist.

Taryn, the beautiful curly-haired Caitlyn called too, decided to take the plunge.

"Forgive me if this sounds insensitive." She began, "But you're gay. That means you're basically just like us, right?"

Kline's eyes glazed over, and he willingly walked to the gatekeepers leading him to the beyond.