Closure

I woke up the next morning still not fully recovered. He still wasn't there. The two sticks we used for training were left there. Romuald usually woke me up pretty early at that. So it felt odd to be left to my device. After waking up, and looking around me, at the light orbs, that cast a cozy warmth.

I went on my toes. Took a deep breath. And climbed up the ladder.

Opening the trap door, even though the sky was clear, I was in the dark. The gigantic shadow of the X trees drowning me. I went outside tippy toeing. I was about to run, not too sure where, but somewhere.

And as I was walking away, from behind me a mana-filled voice said.

"You're finally awake."

I turned around and looked up in the voice's direction. On the gigantic X, Romuald was sitting aloof. He wasn't even looking in my direction, instead looking at the lit part of the forest. He was wearing some kind of coat, but this low and gritty voice was recognizable amongst a thousand.

I didn't respond. My head was full to the brim with questions.

Why had he done that?

How come I was totally healed?

Am I in danger here?

The view that I had of him had been totally shattered, and I had quite a hard time putting back the pieces.

I turned away and ran.

I was no more sure where than three seconds ago, but I dashed as if hellhounds were on my heels. I did the only thing I could do in this moment, after thinking back about the trauma he had put me through,

Run.

"Wait!" a voice roared.

My muscles froze in surprise as I stumbled and rolled forward.

I had run quite far in this lapse of time, but I turned again and looked at his stature.

I oddly didn't feel any danger, or killing intent from his aura; instead, he looked confused.

It was Romuald still. Still looking at the lit forest. Still turning his back to me.

After a moment of silence that felt like an eternity, where the sweat that had formed on my face had now dried off, leaving me to wonder what to do, he said.

"Please wait."

His voice contained none of his usual pride. He seemed pensive, looking for his words.

I waited. I figured if he wanted me to die, I'd have crossed to the next world already. But, I still felt really conflicted.

His behavior of yesterday felt off and despite my reason telling me to get the hell away from there, I needed to know why this had happened. For sure, I had known him barely 2 weeks, but they were 2 weeks during which we were together almost every waking hour.

I fucking hate myself…

I felt weak. I had told myself that I would run away, that I would never let myself be cheated again, that I would make him pay. But I lacked the resolve to do it. Running away right now was scary. I didn't want to be alone again.

And more than anything, I wanted closure.

FUCK!

I yelled in the empty throne room of my mind, smashing my feet against a rock and jumping in pain due to my own stupidity.

Going against my best judgment, I sat down cross-legged and rubbed my throbbing feet. It was dangerous; it was reckless; it was stupid; but I needed answers. I needed closure.

You fucker... you better have a good reason.

My world had already been turned upside down. As much as I acted like a tough man in my head, I really didn't want to be alone again. I really didn't want to be abandoned ever again. And more than anything, I didn't want to be betrayed ever again.

You better have a good fucking reason.

I said while crossing my arms. At the brink of tears.

You… I bit my lower lip.

I stayed there and breathed with my eyes closed, trying my best to calm myself. Trying my best to make sense of something that simply couldn't be explained.

I stayed there to let him explain himself; I stayed silent until I felt like I had waited too long.

[…]

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?"

I wasn't thinking. As much as I had tried to calm myself, the incomprehension was driving me crazy. I didn't want to talk to him, but I felt I was owed an explanation. I had been beaten far beyond anything that was reasonable in a spar before waking up fully healed in my bed. The sheer idea of reliving through that again sent shivers down my spine. My thoughts, an incoherent rambling. One part of me asking me to run as far as possible to here, the other stubbornly staying seated.

I opened my eyes, ready to dart out, and as I did, there he was.

I reflexively backed away and tensed up, not out of some sudden realization of what I had just blurted out, but by reflex. The pain from having my bones snapped, still fresh in my mind.

His face was hidden. His head was like devoured by the jaws of a feral beast..

I couldn't see his face and wondered why he was wearing this unusual clothing.

Still, somehow, even with that loud beast skin, his figure looked smaller than before. As if he was crushed by its weight — or something else's.

"I don't know how to say that," he said in a meek voice, totally contrary to his usual self.

"but I am sorry."

"Uh?" I was taken aback. It didn't help that he was speaking weirdly.

"I said that I am sorry." He said louder, but still in an unintelligible voice.

I looked at him, ticked off. 'Uh?'

"WHY THE FUCK AM I HERE, SPEAK CLEARLY"

"I AM SORRY! THERE YOU GOT IT? I AM SORRY!"

"WHAT!?"

"I AM SORRY!" He said even louder.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU YELLING!?"

"I DON'T KNOW!!"

"AAAAAAAARGH" I yelled, punching him the stomach, not knowing what else to do.

"..."

"WHY!?" I said, crumbling to my knees. Finally tearing up, the culmination of everything that had happened not only now but also these past few years. I hadn't allowed myself to cry. I couldn't. I couldn't be weak.

"WHY!?" I yelled, punching the ground, softened by my tears.

I had to stay strong.

"Why..?!" I said, choked by my own tears.

"I am sorry," Romuald said in a trembling voice. "I am sorry," He said, holding me in his arms too. This time I didn't flinch, too, in my feelings to realize what was happening.

In this explosion of emotion.

I cried.

He cried too.

I wasn't quite sure why he was crying, but I didn't really care. I didn't want to be alone. I wasn't ready to give hope in others yet. I didn't want to be wary of everything. These 6 years had already drained me. I didn't want to give up hope for good.

I ugly cried, and it took a lot of time for me to calm down.

After some time, after I had let out my emotions and finally felt a bit more at ease. He sat me down and sat down in front of me.

He didn't start, as if he was looking for the way to start.

"Wh—"

He put his index against his lips.

It was clear he was about to explain himself, but was placing his ideas.

He then took a big breath and started.

"Before... No.. As I said earlier, I am.. deeply sorry."

"It all started back from our spar from yesterday…"

He then explained how he had felt a weird oppressive sensation during our spar, as I was riling myself up. At that moment, while explain I was yelling to prime myself up, I had unconsciously released hints of pressure, pressure that couldn't possibly come from an unexperienced fighter such as myself, especially one without mana. The pressure wasn't even human, more likening to the one of a beast, a terrifyingly powerful one at that.

At that moment, he hadn't needed much to put two and two together, and to realize that this power had something to do with the weird emblems I had on my arms; and had something to do with what I had met in the cave.

Thus, after making sure I was asleep, he had gone to find Albert to set up something. It was clear that this power had activated at the same time as my fighting intent was shown, but he needed to find out what potential that thing had, how strong it could be. And the simplest idea was to push me to the brink of death. During the fight, he lashed out when called a 'coward', because of reasons that I didn't need to know.

"WHAT?" I said, vexed. I wanted answers, but I wasn't sure this was what I expected.

"How the fuck... How the fuck does that make sense?!"

He looked at me, his beast skin head dress still hiding his eyes.

In fact, he didn't reply at all to my outburst. He just looked at me, or so I assumed, and nodded in understanding. My face was tense, brimming with anger.

He then said, "You have every right to be angry". He paused for a while.

"I am not expecting you to forgive me either"

"The—"

I reigned myself. I was angry, but after having calmed down, I was now noticing. This weight that seemed to crush him was obviously not the coiffe. He felt guilty.

"... Just"

He then sighed, looking up at the sky, and as if he had found his tongue again, he continued.

"Ok. let me tell you what I noticed"

From the fight, he had gathered that while this power was potent had pretty glaring drawbacks. I couldn't use it as freely as one used their aura. After all, with aura, it was mainly a release of mana laced with strong killing intent (or other intents). This power, however, was much more foreign, almost divine. He had described it as "Forcing your will upon creation".

It was so potent that until I had fallen unconscious, he was crushed to the ground. It wasn't like pressure from gravity and it wasn't painful at all, but it was as if his body was submitting itself to a divine will — refusing to follow his owner's. To his surprise, after the pressure disappeared, his body was pretty much perfectly fine, except for cold sweats down his back.

But...

my body simply wasn't made for it, as shown by how tired I was from using it.

As proof, after being healed I should have woken up fairly quickly, not instantly for sure, but at most an hour or two after, despite that I had slept 20 hours.

Trauma aside, all of my physical damage had been healed perfectly. So for me to stay asleep for that long, along with the drop in performance, was all one needed to know to realize this power wasn't as good as it seemed. I'd have to be strategic with it only using it when absolutely necessary, and even with strategic use I'd have to consider my state afterwards and if I'd be able to react well after.

"I am both glad you got such a terrifying power, and concerned. This power while strong could kill you." He said, looking at me.

"There's just not enough time," he said after a long sigh.

I hadn't forgiven him, no matter the reasons who would forgive that quickly? Still, I also felt happy. Somehow, even if I wasn't happy at all with the extreme lengths he had reached, I was happy to have someone on my side.

Someone that openly said it at least.

After he went on one knee as if to look at me in the eyes, and lifted the headdress, finally revealing his eye.

"We talked enough, and as I said there's not enough time."

"Do you want to keep training, or will you leave with Albert right now?"

"..."

"You want to leave? At this point, I won't fault you."

I didn't know if I could forgive him for that. No matter the excuse, what he had done was horrifying. Even so, right now, I couldn't be a picky eater.

I'll become stronger, even if it means going through that again.

Urgh.. okay, maybe not literally… I shivered.

"Urgh... I am already here. Might as well get as much as possible."

"Good!" He then burst out laughing. His laugh still sounded embarrassed, but now lighter, as if a big burden had been lifted off his shoulders.

"Don't worry, you'll be glad you did!"

"I better," I said, bursting out laughing too. We both knew this wouldn't be forgiven like that, but we chose to leave this event in the past. After all while I didn't agree with the method he did it for my sake.