"Promises are for keeps but what if it turns out to be broken? Are you willing to give it a second chance? What if the flames of love have turned to ashes? Would you be willing to rekindle the flames?"
~Adonis
"Cheren, di ka pa ba uuwi? 'Wag mong sasabihin na magbababad ka na naman sa trabaho?"
I was cut off from my musing. "Huh? Ammm... Anung sinabi mo?"
"Hay! What are you thinking about? I was asking if uuwi ka pa?" Henry repeated.
"Ah, Oo uuwi ako." I replied. "Pasensya ka na huh... Marami kasi akong iniisip."
"Hatid na kita, if ok lang sayo."
"Sure."
Henry escorted me in our house then I thanked him and said goodbye. As I closed the door behind me I saw my mom standing on the staircase. She has this weird smile na para bang aasarin ako. "Boyfriend mo?" Tanung n'ya na parang nanalo sa lotto. "Bakit 'di mo man lang pinagkape? Eh umuulan sa labas."
"Ma, pwede ba stop that, hindi ko s'ya boyfriend... co-worker ko s'ya sa institution na pinagtratrabahuan ko. Besides hindi n'ya ko nililigawan."
"O sige anak, magbihis ka na. Tsaka kumain ka na. hmmmm concern lang naman ako sayo dahil 31 years old ka na pero wala ka pang...
"Ma, eto na naman tayo eh, hmmmm maayos naman ako, I have a good paying job, napatapos ko na si Jamie sa pag-aaral and more importantly magkasama tayo... yun ang importante sa akin."
"Sensya ka na, anak." My mom said and hugged me. "Ikaw lang naman ang ina-alala ko, marami ka nang nasakripisyo at natulungan tao pero yung sarili mo hindi mo maasikaso, gusto ko lang sana bago ako mawala eh may mag aalaga sayo."
"It's ok, I understand... bilang isang ina hindi maiiwasan ang maging concern kayo sa akin but I'm old enough and I have my own decisions... sige po."
Niyakap ko ang aking ina at umakyat na sa aking kwarto, deep inside I was hurting and I can't seem to find the reason why tears suddenly fall from my eyes. I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Bakit nga ba hanggang ngayon wala pa akong boyfriend? Am I not beautiful or sadyang malas lang ako pagdating sa pag-ibig? Maybe I was so workaholic that now I find myself alone. Hay... Ewan hindi ko alam... Maybe I've already met the one but I was too busy or naive to know...
"Anak, hindi ka ba kakain?"
I sat up and wiped the tears from my eyes, I looked to where the voice was coming. "Ma, bababa na lang ako pagnagutom ako... Salamat po."
"O sige." she replied, "Kung my problema ka sabihin mo lang... nandito lang ako, anak."
The next morning, I woke up as if walang nagyari kahapon, breakfast was ready and I feel so lazy that's when I realized na day off ko pala. "Ma, kain na po tayo. teka alam nyo po ba na darating ngayon si Jamie at ang kanyang family?"
"Ah, Oo darating nga sila pati ang kapatid mong lalaki... Dito muna sila ng dalawang araw dahil namimiss ka na raw ng mga kapatid mo."
My face lit up when I heard that my brother was coming along, it's been a long time since we spend time together, I just couldn't wait. "Anung oras daw po sila darating?" "Mga 8:30 ngayong umaga." sagot ng aking ina.
Naglinis na ako ng aming munting bahay, pagkatapos ay dumating na rin ang aking mga kapatid, I was so happy to see them lalong-lalo na si Jamie dahil nakatagpo na sya ng lalaking tatanggap sa kanya kahit nagkaroon sya ng anak sa unang boyfriend nya. Si Robert naman ay may girl friend na rin and he was working as an Industrial Psychologist sa isang sikat na companya sa states.
"Ate, kamusta ka na? May boyfriend ka na ba?" Robert asked me.
"Naku tigilan mo nayang ate mo, dahil may balak yata s'yang tumandang dalaga."sabi ni inay.
"Hindi rin, maganda naman ang ate..." sabi ni Jamie, "Baka sadyang pihikan lang."
"Anu ba kayo? Let's go swimming." sagot ko. "About my lovelife... forget it."
We have a little family bonding and I spend my time playing with Jairus, ang aking pamangkin. And our mom was busy sa pag ihaw ng isda and chatting with my sister's husband. Iniwan ko muna si Jairus at naglakad-lakad sa resort. then umupo ako sa isang bench at nag isip-isip.
* * *
"Ma, boyfriend ba ni ate si Henry? They seem compatible with each other." my brother said.
"Hindi raw sabi ng ate mo. Na aawa nga ako kay Henry kasi halos mamalimos ng pag-ibig sa ate mo." sagot ni mommy. "Hindi ko nga alam dyan sa ate mo kung nagbubulagbulagan lang s'ya eh."
"Mommy naman... baka may ibang priority lang si ate." Jamie said. "Tsaka ok lang naman si ate... as long as masaya s'ya then that's all that matters."
* * *
Maybe it was my fault after all, siguro kung di ko s'ya iniwan... kami ang nagkatuluyan. But that was 8 years ago and I was just a student in college. His face was engraved in my memory and even the words that he said... kung kami siguro eh nagkaroon na ko ng masayang pamilya... And I wouldn't be a burden to my mother and my siblings... Buti pa si Jamie natagpuan n'ya na ang kanyang prince and my brother his princess samantalang ako... wala.
(Oh thinking about all our younger years....) -cell phone ringing.
"Sis, where did you spend your day off yesterday? Alam mo bang nalungkot si Henry dahil wala ka?"
"Anu ka ba, sis... nagfamily bonding kami. We went to a resort." sagot ko. "Good morning, Henry."
"Everybody may I have your attention."
We became quiet. It was sir Edward the administrator in the" Open Arms Children's Foundation" also known as" OACF". A non-government organization sustained by a rich company in Europe. We catered abandoned, neglected and physically abused children.
"After this week we will have visitors from Europe. I want to assign each one of you to a certain task dahil hindi ordinaryong mga tao ang bibisita sa ating foundation, isang grupo ng architect ang bibisita sa atin. So as much as possible I would like everything to be in order though not perfect. Cheren and Henry you will be in charge of the program next week. The kitchen staff will be in charge of the foods and other related stuff while the remaining staff will be in charge of entertaining and touring our visitors."
"Yes sir." we chorused.
Henry and I became busy preparing the program and rehearsing our clients for their performance. I often come home late that my mother would tease me. She would tell me that after the most awaited week past Henry and I would fall for each other. But I just shove the thought away dahil bawal sa institution namin ang may karelasyon na co-worker.
"Sis, ang ganda ng sequence ng program natin. Sir Edward would really appreciate your effort." Yesha said. "Bagay talaga kayo ni Henry..."
"Sis, pwede ba. Keep it low. Alam mo namang bawal sa atin ang may relation... tsaka kaibigan lang ang tingin ko kay Henry. Pero alam mo napaka responsible ni Henry, s'ya kasi ang nakapag contribute ng magandang ideas para sa sa program next week.
August 15 came and we were already in the administration building, at exactly 7:00 in the morning the bus came and Yesha and the other staff greeted our visitors. After their tour around the campus Yesha approuch me and she was smiling. "Sis, ikaw talaga you're keeping a secret from me..."
"What are you talking about? Ok ka lang?" I asked.
"Naku sis, one of our visitors ask me about you..." she replied. "Si architect Alex James Gonzales...
"Miss Pablo?"
Lumingon ako and to my surprise a tall gentle man was looking directly at me. Napa isip ako because the face was unfamiliar besides I was busy, but nahihiya naman ako dahil isa s'ya sa bisita namin.
"Ako?" tanung ko sa kanya.
"Ou, wala namang ibang miss Pablo dito, is there?" he replied giving me a weird smile.
Chapter 2: "The Meeting"
I was hesitant to approach him dahil hindi ko talaga matandaan ang kanyang mukha but I don't want to be rude so lumapit ako. "Pwede ba kitang isama?" he asks and I haven't even said yes, he already took my hand. Then he called sir Edward's attention. "Sir Santos, I would like you to excuse Miss Pablo for 30 minutes."
"It's ok." sir Edward replied. "Kahit isang oras pa... By the way I'm just kidding."
"Thanks."
He brought me to the prayer garden and asked me to sit down. "Hay, anu ba naman itong pinasukan ko? hindi naman kita kilala then dinala mo ako dito sa garden... What's wrong with you? At bakit kilala mo ako? Grabe na 'to...
"Hey, Cheren. Di ka pa rin nagbabago. Cute ka pa rin... parang di ka tumatanda... Miss me?"
"Mister, I don't know you, kaya pwede ba tigiltigilan mo ako."
"Sa bagay, 8 years have passed between us and I couldn't blame you... Would you like me to introduce myself? I'm Alex James Gonzales yung iniwan mo sa library March 30, 2014. Do you remember me now?"
I was stunned. "How could this be? Now everything flashes back in my memory. Bakit ba bumalik ka pa? Anu bang sadya mo sa buhay ko?"
"Miss Cheren?"
"Ou, naaalala na kita. Nice to meet you again sir Gonzales. Ngayon pwede na ba akong umalis?" sagot ko. "May presentation yung mga bata kaya pwede ba payagan mo na akong umalis."
"Ok, if that's what you needed." he replied. "Ingat."
That night the program was held in the gymnasium, nagcultural dance ang mga bata and the staff thanked the visitors for coming and spending their time with the kids. I watch in silence, I remember myself when I was still in one of the orphanages, we would also perform for our visitors, talk with them and do some fun stuff with them. One of the children was asked to give a speech for the visitors and everyone clapped some even cried and I was one of them. Henry was standing beside me, he handed me a hankie but I didn't take it, siguro nahihiya lang ako and besides my panyo din naman ako.
"Cheren, Tawag ka ni Mr. Gonzales." Henry told me. "Iwan na kita, pa punta s'ya dito eh."
"Miss Cheren, I heard na ikaw ang naghanda ng program. Ang galing mo talaga." Alex said. "And for that I want to ask you for dinner, tutal maaga pa. Will you come with me tonight, Miss Pablo?"
Before I could refuse naghiyawan na ang mga co-workers ko para silang mga teenagers and so I went out with Alex kahit na alam kong labag ito sa sarili ko, I just feel guilty. However, I have to smile and pretend that everything's ok. We went to a restaurant, medyo romantic yung setting and it makes me feel nervous. "Why would someone in my past suddenly show up out of nowhere? Meron ba akong nagawa sa past ko na hindi ko dapat ginawa? Hay, Is this karma? How unfortunate of me..."
"Cheren, habit mo na talaga yang matulala, speak up baka galit ka na hindi ko pa alam. I hope you don't mind; I just miss you... matagal rin since I haven't seen you. You really pursue that dream of yours... I'm proud of you."
"Alex, anu bang gusto mong palabasin?" tanung ko.
"Wala naman. May asawa ka na ba?"
"Anu?! Asawa?! Are you... You're so rude..." sagot kong na-iinis. "Mukha na ba akong matanda at losyang?"
He started to smile at first then bigla na lang syang tumawa. "Nope, it's just ang sarap mo lang patawanin... come on, Cheren... nakalimutan mo na bang tumawa?"
"Kung wala kang magawa at mapagtripan... 'wag ako. Goodbye..."
I stood up and left the restaurant at sumakay agad sa taxi. I know it's rude but I have no reason to stay dahil wala naman kaming matinong napag uusapan. I saw him outside the restaurant he was calling me but I pretended not to hear.
* * *
"Pare, how's your date?"
"Hindi maganda, nilayasan n'ya ko. Bakit ganyan ang mga babae? Pakipot."sabi n'ya.
"Naku, ano ba naman kasi yung ginawa mo?"
"Pinapatawa ko lang naman s'ya." sagot ni Alex. "I miss her so much, pero ang manhid n'ya talaga. Sige matutulog na ako."
"That girl bakit hindi ko s'ya makalimutan. Eight years past yet she still holds a place in my heart. Hay, Cheren... Why are you playing hard to get? What's with that smile of yours that it just drives me crazy... So dumb and so naive... You still haven't change... Paano ko ba sasabihin sayo na mahal kita as in mahal na mahal... Sa sobrang pagmamahal ko sayo until now my heart hasn't moved on yet."
* * *
"Alex, bakit ka ba bumalik? Maayos na ang buhay ko, then you came... Para kang bagyo that you left my heart in a state of calamity. Kinalimutan na kita pero nandito ka... What are you up to Mr. Architect. My heart is confused and my mind is turning, Now I know after this day everything wouldn't be like the day before. Because you shoot across my quiet horizon... Hay, Alex... Please, somebody save me from this nightmare! Tell me this isn't real! Tell me!"
Chapter 3: "Looking Back"
"Sis, may past ba kayo nung old bachelor na yun?" Yesha ask while sipping her cappuccino. "As if matagal din kayong nagsama."
"I would be a liar if I'd deny the fact that we know each other." sagot ko na parang walang interest. "Past is past so just forget it."
"Ex mo ba s'ya?" Henry ask. "Sorry I didn't mean to pry... mind sharing a bit?"
"Ok." sagot ko. "It's not that confidential."
* * *
I met Alex when I entered college, He was a junior college in one of the colleges in Pangasinan, it was the first day of school and after all the activities and classes. I went to the library to do my research. I felt frustrated because I could find the books I needed.
"Miss, could I help you?"
I turned around and saw a guy with a weird hair style. He smiled then lumapit sa akin. "New student?" I nodded and handed him the list of books I was looking for. He asks me to sit down while he gets all the books. I was relieved and happy at the same time dahil ang hirap maging baguhan sa isang lugar and here comes a stranger offering me help.
"Here you go." he said, placing the books on the table. "So you're a social work student? By the way my name's Alex... what about yours?"
"Thanks... I'm Cheren." I replied not looking at him.
"Nice to meet you, Cheren." he said and sat with me for half an hour and left after.
* * *
Sir Edward entered the Admin. building, he was smiling and he congratulated us for the success of the program yesterday. Then he informs us of the seminar that we will be attending in October.
"It's a seminar for social workers at the same time I was informed that there would be team building activities. The event will last for 3 days, mag enjoy kayo and I hope that you will learn a lot."
"Sino-sino naman po ang sasama sa seminar?" tanung ni Henry.
"Lahat ng social worker ng ating institution." sir Edward replied. "Good day everyone."
After he left all of us were excited about the up coming seminar, some of our staff asked us to bring them pasalubong and all sorts of things. One of our kitchen staff, aling Rosa was looking at me.
"Sana pag uwi mo eh my partner ka na." she said.
After a long tiring day, umuwi na rin ako kasama si Yesha. Mom was happy to see me with my friend and she told me that somebody sent a bouquet of red roses for me and some chocolates as well. Yesha's eyes narrowed and started poking my side.
"Sis, ang haba ng hair mo... parang teenager lang." she teased. "Kanino po galing?"
"Alex James Gonzales ang nakalagay sa maliit na papel."
"What?! Hay, naku sister mukhang hindi ka tatantanan ni Architect Gonzales."
"Yesha, tumigil ka nga." sagot ko na hindi ko man lang pinansin ang mga bulaklak at chocolates. "Wala kaming relasyon kaya stop teasing me."
"Talaga? Bakit ang Bitter gourd mo?" she ask laughing.
"Bitter? Anu? Hay, maliligo lang ako."
Yesha and my mother was chatting about me and Alex while they were preparing our dinner. I went down stairs and told them na my tao sa labas ng gate.
"Why don't you let him in?" mom said. "Hindi pa kami tapos eh."
"Ako na po tutulong kay Yesha, Ma." sabi ko. "Besides baka bisita n'yo yan."
* * *
"Sino ang kailangan mo?"
"Ma'am, dito po ba nakatira si Miss Cheren Pablo?"
"Oo, Ina n'ya ako... Sino ka ba?"
"Ako nga po pala si Alex James Gonzales." sagot nya sabay mano.
"Tuloy ka, anak."
* * *
The table was set together with all the cuisine, I went to get the plates and silverware. Yesha was surprise to see Alex and mom inform her na kakain s'ya kasama namin. I didn't know but I became red when I saw Alex sitting with them sa hapag kainan. We only have four chairs and the empty seat was next to him. At that moment I wished I'd dropped dead but I swallowed my nervousness and sat beside him.
"Anak, baka gusto mo namang ipakilala sa akin yang bisita mo."
"Ah, Ma, school mate ko po si Alex sa Pangasinan." sagot ko.
"We're really good friends though. Right Cheren?" sabi ni Alex.
I just nodded in agreement para hindi na humaba ang usapan. My mom keeps glancing at me and Alex, maaga silang natapos kumain after that umalis sila na hindi nagpasabi kung sa'n sila pupunta. I was left with a total stranger, I felt uneasy but Alex just acted cool. "Anu ba naman 'tong taong 'to. Nakapa relax and parang hindi man lang s'ya na iilang sa akin."
"You look pretty tonight." he said. "By the way why did you run away from me yesterday?"
"Forget it wala lang." sagot ko. "Would you like some desserts?"
"Sure." he replied. "You still have the habit of Cinderella and because of that you haven't met my fiancée."
"Is that so? Sorry for being rude." I said softly. "Congratulations. She's lucky."
He smiled and nodded. And he asks about my work in the Open Arms Foundation. I manage to answer all his questions even though I'm really tired. After an hour nag paalam na s'yang umalis dahil may date daw sila ng kanyang fiancée.
"Alex, you already have a fiancée... so why send me flowers?" I asked.
"Oh, those flowers... It's to congratulate you for the good program." he replied smiling.
"Ah, next time don't bother." I said seriously. "That's a part of my job."
"Good night, Miss Cheren."
I closed the gate behind me and walked slowly, my mind was somewhere. I felt hot tears falling from my eyes. "Cheren, you need to calm down... Paki alam mo if may Fiancée na s'ya? Besides he's moved on with his life... You need to move on with yours... Bakit naman kasi bumalik ka pa? Para anu? Para saktan ako? Para guluhin ang tahimik kong buhay? Anu ka ba Cheren? Anu ba 'tong pinasukan mo?"
I went upstairs and cried myself to sleep... Kahit na alam kong hindi ako makatulog, narinig ko sila mama at Yesha na dumating but I didn't bother to wake up... Ayoko lang na magtanong sila 'coz I don't know what my reaction would be then.
* * *
Alex arrived in their hotel, his aunty was with him and his niece. They ask about his whereabouts. He just looked at them and went to his room then his aunty followed.
"You went out to see her, didn't you?" she asks. "You're just hurting yourself, dear."
"Good night po." was all he said. "I just want to be alone."
"Hay, Alex... Kahit siguro sabihin mong my cancer ka, she wouldn't bother. Bakit ka ba naghahabol sa wala? Is she that important na you came all the way from Europe just to see her. That girl… what kind of spell did she cast on me... the more she pushes me away the more na I'm determined to get close to her."
Alex sat on the soft bed with his head buried in his hand, He was thinking about Cheren and wondering if she was alright. Then he laid down, staring at the ceiling, the memories started to rewind in his mind.
* * *
The girl I saw in the library that day, her face was so serene and her smile it just caught my heart. Her mind was preoccupied with her assignment that she didn't notice me staring at her and following her around the room. May trabaho pa ako kaya iniwan ko na s'ya pagkatapos ko s'yang tulungan but even on my way to Chow king, the sound of her voice kept playing in the back of my memory.
"Bro, parang inspired ka... who's the lucky girl?" one of my co-workers asked.
"Oh, her name's cheren." I replied. "A cute girl with a cute name."
"Pare lakas ng tama mo."
Acquaintance night was after 3 days I can hardly wait to see Cheren but with all the freshmen student napakahirap maghanap, it's like looking for a needle in the darkness. However, I would take my chances pero kung di ko s'ya makita sa acquaintance night then the library would be my second option.
I had a lot of girl friends in my high school days but I was just messing around, this time I wanted something for real. But with this type of girl, I guess I wouldn't have a hard time. I'm the kind of person who always gets what I wanted... maybe that's because may kaya kami sa buhay.
The acquaintance night has come and I feel so nervous and excited. The party was excellent and there were a lot of pretty girls looking at me, I danced with some of them. My friends were betting on who would be able to have a girl friend before the night ends.
"Pare, anu ka ba?" one of my friends asked. "Haven't you found a girl?"
"Sige, mag enjoy lang kayo." sagot ko.
"You're avoiding the question?"
"Nope, excuse me."
Nothing happened, I went home devastated and my parents were surprised to see me so early, kung ako ang tatanungin nagulat din ako sa sarili ko. I told them all kinds of excuses but I just can't lie to myself coz the truth is; I went home because I didn't see Cheren. I just went to my room at humiga sa kama. "Hmmm m, Cheren... You're playing hard to get. Where could she be? My boyfriend ka na ba? You're such a mysterious girl... ok lang, I have the whole school year to win your heart but if not... good luck na lang sa akin."
"Hijo, hindi ka ba kakain?"
I sat up and told my mom that I don't feel like eating, she just hugged me and said good night.
Chapter 4: "Welcome and Goodbye"
After a week of seminars in Baguio, we toured around in their tourist spots. Then on our way back to our respective places. Henry sat beside me on the bus. We were chatting about the activities that we did and all the mischief we got into. It was already late in the evening when I arrived home, everything was quiet and I found a note on the fridge.
"Anak, I'm spending my time with your stepfather and our son. Baka matagalan ako. Take care, I hope na nag enjoy ka sa seminar n'yo."
I woke up and got myself ready for my work. Pagdating ko sa foundtation sir Edward was already meeting with the other staff, they were so serious that I just stood at the door. After an hour pumasok na ako, I was told that sir Edward was going to resign because he has a better job opportunity in Canada. It's saddening news to me coz matagal ko rin nakasama si sir Edward sa trabaho, he's like a big brother to me at isang ama sa aming institution.
"Sir." I called as I knocked on the Administrator's office.
"Come in."
I opened the door and saw Sir Edward organizing all his things. "What do you need?"
"Aalis na pala kayo, Sir?"
"Ah, Cheren ikaw pala." he said and turned around. "Oo, but don't you worry 'coz may papalit naman sa akin... I hope you still stay the same. I want you to do your best, malay mo one day maging administrator ka rin dito or in some place better."
"Do you find this place boring?" I ask. "Or mababa po ba yung sahod?"
Sir Edward smiled and patted my head like he always does. "Ikaw talaga, I have a family who needed me. So I need to work abroad para makasama ko na sila, besides my condition will be better dahil I can be with my wife and kids."
"Hmmm m, good luck po, sir." I said. "Kailan po yung flight n'yo?"
"On Wednesday." he answered. "But I'd be leaving later para malapit na ako sa airport."
We held a little farewell party for Sir Edward, maraming umiyak at kasama na ako doon. Sir Edward was no ordinary person to us dahil he was always ready to help everyone lalo na kapag my problema ang mga workers sa institution. The kids perform a song number for him as well, then he gave us a little gift in remembrance of him.
"Mag iingat po kayo, sir." sabi ni Henry. "Wag kayong mag alala I will take care of Cheren."
Kahit na malungkot na ang scenario nakuha pa ni Henry magpatawa, then hinantid na namin si Sir Edward sa gate and we went back to work kahit na namumugto ang mga mata namin.
At 5:00 pm may dumating na white pickup sa harap ng gate, sumilip kami sa labas ng bintana. The guard opened the gates and a couple came out together with 3 kids.
"Baka my client na naman tayo." Yesha said biting the tip of her pen.
Lumabas kami to entertain them but the lady wasn't that friendly. "Nasan ang bahay ng administrator nyo?" she asked. "Ako ang bagong administrator, so don't just stand there."
Nagtinginan kami at tumulong na lang maghakot ng gamit nila, Yesha was making faces and Henry couldn't help but laugh at her. "Pagod lang siguro sila... Intindihin na lang natin." Sabi ni Henry. We nodded in agreement but deep inside I felt something weird when I looked at the lady.
"We would like to welcome you in our humble foundation, we hope you would enjoy---
"Never mind the speech." the lady said. "Just go back to your work, you're wasting time..."
We turned to go and when 6:30 came nagtime out na kami, while walking outside the gate we talked about how the wife of the administrator acted. Yesha even imitated the way she spoke We had a good laugh but Henry was serious.
"Hey!"
"Huh?! Sensya na, I was just thinking na this would be a different year for us." he said. "Bakit naman kasi umalis pa si sir Edward. Para tuloy nabuhay si Marcos dun sa pagkatao ni Madame."
"Hmmm m, tama ka." I answered. "Pero let' s just hope for the best. By the way day off ko bukas, wanna sleep over my house? Mag-isa lang kasi ako."
"Sure." sagot ni Yesha. "how about you, Henry?"
"Thanks pero expected kasi ako sa bahay."
We had pancakes and vegetable soup for dinner then after the clean up, we went up stairs to do some girl stuff like nail polishing and some beauty rituals, we chatted until Yesha ask me to tell her about Alex and me.
"Come on, sis."
"Alright."
* * *
I didn't attend the Acquaintance night because for me it was just a waste of my time. But the next day I went back to the library to do some research and relax myself. Then I saw a familiar figure and I went the other way but he noticed me somehow.
"Miss Cheren?"
"Yes." I answered. "Have we met?"
"Alex. Remember me?"
I looked at him and after a minute I nodded, he followed me around the bookshelves. Then after an hour lumabas na ako at sumama s'ya, he asks me to come with him. I felt obliged to walk with him dahil sunod s'ya ng sunod sa akin. Dinala n'ya ko sa tabing dagat and told me na maganda raw pagmaasdan ang sunset sa lugar dun.
"By the way, wala ka sa aquaintance." he said. "I was looking for you."
"Sorry, I don't like socializing with people." I replied. "I'd rather stay home or spend my time in the library."
"Where do you stay?"
"I stay in the girls dormitory."
We became quiet as the sun sets, the sky was turning red orange and the colors reflected on the salty waters. It was a breathtaking scenery and I felt so peaceful inside that I didn't notice Alex just staring at me. Pinatong n'ya sa likod ko ang kanyang polo at sinabing 6:30 na ng gabi, nagulat ako dahil nawala sa isip ko ang oras.
"Hatid na kita?"
"'Wag na, nakakahiya naman." sagot ko. "Tsaka baka hinahanap ka na sa inyo."
"Even if you say no, ihahatid pa rin kita." sabi n'ya. "Babae ka and it's dangerous for you to go home alone."
Hinatid n'ya ako sa dorm at hindi s'ya umalis hanggang hindi ako nakakapasok sa loob ng dormitory, nagtilian ang mga kasama ko at tinatanung nila kung boyfriend ko yung lalaking naghatid sa akin. I just shook my head however my roommates just smile at parang sila pa ang kinikilig para sa akin.
* * *
"It's already late..." sabi ng mom ni Alex. "May sasabihin ka ba?"
"Hinatid ko lang si Cheren." sagot n'ya. "The girl I told you about."
Alex ate dinner with his dad and had a little chat about his whereabouts then he went to his room. And threw himself on his bed, closed his eyes and pictured the girl so naive of her beauty. He pictures her sitting inside the four corners of the library. Then he said to himself, "Wala na, naloko na... hmmm I just hope this time it's meant for me... heaven, this time please be on my side... And if that happens I ain't gonna let go of her ever."
"Goodnight Philippines... goodnight miss cheren."
Chapter 5: "Angels in Disguise"
The new administrator acted good and concerned about the welfare of our institution in spite of his efforts I can't help but wonder if they're really doing it for the kids or maybe there's a hidden agenda behind their good front. Pag kami lang na mga staff ang kaharap nila grabe sila mamahiya nang katrabaho, na para bang hindi tao ang pinagsasalitaan nila. There was an instant where I accidentally forgot the files that our administrator needed for the meeting, then Mr. Ginto suddenly raises his voice.
"What kind of social worker are you? Kung yun lang na folder ay nakalimutan mo pa!"
"I'm sorry, sir. Hindi ko po talaga sinasadya."
"Either you bring that tomorrow or file a resignation letter!!"
Pero they are so sweet in front of our visitors and donors and his wife can't mind her own business. Halos lahat ng department ng institution meroon s'yang masasabing negative. There was an incident na pinaki-alaman n'ya ang progress report ni Yesha, my friend was pissed off and she was controlling her temper. And when the wife of our administrator noticed that she had been the center of attraction, she left the room without an apology.
"Sis, sabihin mo nga kung ano ang pumasok sa lugar na 'to."
"Just calm down, wala naman tayong laban." sagot ko. "As long na hindi ka pa pinagbubuhatan ng kamay at minumura then stay put."
"Tama si Cheren. Besides think about the kids kung magre-resign tayo." dugtong ni Henry. "One more thing... our new administrator and his family are like an angel in disguise... bad angels nga lang."
* * *
November 15 in the morning pag pasok namin sa administration building, everything was in the right place except the large boxes of packages near the table in the receiving area, nagtanong kami sa mga staff if they knew the person who opened those boxes. Then one of the children told us na si Ma'am Celeste ang nagbukas ng package. I was really annoyed dahil I am the director of children's services and I'm in charge of the packages na dumarating from our donors. As respectfully as I can, I went to their home and frankly explained to Mr. Ginto's wife made the mistake she commited but instead of listening she just called her husband to take her side. Alam kong walang mapupuntahan ang usapan naming iyon and I decided to file a report about the incident. Tinulungan na lang ako ni Henry at Yesha na gumawas ng list of items na nasa loob ng boxes, and unexpectedly we have visitors from Melbourne, Australia. They inform us that they were volunteers who would like to share their blessings as well as help us around the campus. We welcome them and Mr. Ginto talked with them. To be honest Mr. Ginto has an up to date knowledge of what is going around the country and abroad kaya madali n'yang nakukuha ang attention ng mga nakakasalamuha n'ya.
Hind namin inakala na tatagal kami sa Open Arms Children's Foundation, umabot din kami ng 6 months pagkatapos magresign ni Sir Edward kahit ang iba sa aming mga kasama sa trabaho ay umalis at naghanap ng mas magandang trabaho at mas mabuting work environment. Nahihirapan din kami pero kinakaya namin dahil kailangan kami ng mga bata. And when we feel bored and pissed off dahil sa wife ng aming administrator nag kakantahan kami at nagkakaro'n ng get together.
* * *
"Mommy, one of the children in the Emerald house took my doll." Jessica the daughter of the administrator said.
"Don't you cry now, dear one." her mom replied. "We'll get even with that dirty rag."
They went to the Emerald house and scolded the child, the parents tried to explain what really took place but she couldn't defend the side of their client. The poor creature just cried and cried even though she was afraid to speak.
"If any of you messes with my children malalagot kayo sa akin."
Then they walk out of the house. "Tahan na, anak. Bukas i-rereport natin ito kay ma'am Pablo." The children of the house gathered around her to comfort her, one the eldest said, "'Wag kang mag-alala 'di to palalampasin nila ate Cheren at ate Yesha... kaya matulog na lang tayo."
* * *
We came earlier than our usual time in and the three of us went for a stroll in our institution, everything seemed normal until we heard something strange, the screaming of children. We ran toward the direction and to our dismay we saw two children with their legs bleeding.
"What happened?" Henry asked. "sinong gumawa nito sa inyo?!"
They became quiet na para bang mamamatay sila kapag nag salita sila ng kahit kaunti. "Sige na, 'wag kayong matakot." dugtong ni Yesha. "May ginawa ba kayong masama kaya nangyari to?"
"W-wwwala p-p-po." nanginginig na sabi na masbata. "'di lang po namin binigay yung regalo ng sponsor namin kay ate Faye... pinalo kami ng stick ng mama n'ya."
"Tapos pag magsusumbong daw po kami sa inyo palalayasin kami dito." sabi ng nakakatanda.
Henry and Yesha carried the children while I called the police, this was so much at hindi pa sila tumatagal sa institution ay parang hari na sila kung umasta. Naawa ako sa mga bata, they've been through traumatic experiences tapos mangyayari ulit ang mga bagay na iyon sa lugar na kinikilala nilang mag aalaga at prorotekta sa kanila.
Yesha was trying to compose herself habang inaasikaso namin ang mga bata. Then isa-isa nang naglabasan ang mga reklamo at hinanakit ng mga staff at lalo na ng mga bata. The two kids were calm though you can see the pain in their eyes, some of the staff carried them.
Dumating ang mga pulis at nireport namin kung ano ang nangyari, then Mr. Ginto came and was surprised to find the men in uniform. "What's this commotion? Bakit may mga pulis dito?"
"Sir, inaaresto namin ang inyong asawa sa kasong child abuse."
"Huh? Anu to? Wala kaming kinalaman sa mga pinagsasabi n'yo. Kung gusto n'yo sa korte tayo magharapharap!!"
"'Wag na po kayong lumaban." sabi ni Yesha. "Eto may ebidensya na, nag reklamo na ang mga bata."
"This could not be! Pagbabayaran nyo 'to!! Kayong lahat! Humanda kayo!"
"Sumama na po kayo sa amin kung ayaw n'yong masaktan. You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be used against you."
Mrs. Ginto was in denial, pinipilit n'ya na gumagawa ng kwento ang mga bata and that she could never do such things. However, she was still arrested and the police saw the evidence of the incident sa mga bruises at sugat ng dalawang bata. Then unexpectedly some of our board members arrived and we were shocked at their revelation. Ang mag asawa ay kasama sa mga wanted dito sa Philippinas, ang pamilya na dapat magtratrabaho bilang administrator namin ay pina export nila sa Thailand.
"Last week the family was rescued in one of the remote places in Thailand. Buti na lang nakipag tulungan ang pamahalaan sa Thailand." one of the boared said. "Gumamit sila ng mga pekeng documents para makapasok sa ating institution. And it's been reported by someone that they have been stealing money from the bank account of the institute. So we came up with a solution na ipasara ang account and have them arrested however lagi silang wala dito kapag narito ang mga pulis." Mr. Hermosa said. "But now nagka-alaman rin tayo. Were it not for you and all the staff in this institution... this place would have been a den of murderers and evil people."
"Ma'am, Sir... mauna na po kami." paalam ng isang police officer. "Maraming salamat po sa inyo." sabi namin.
Patong-patong na kaso ang hinaharap nila, samantalang ang mga bata naman na kasama nila ay kidnapped from Davao. And later we learned that those kids were from a wealthy family. Agad inasikaso ng police ang mga bagay at bago lumubog ang araw naibalik nila sa kani-kanilang pamilya ang mga bata. After the long day we were just so happy and relieved of our burden pero may proteksyon ang OACF dahil sa incident. Sinigurado ng goverment ang safety ng mga staff at lalo na ng mga bata.
"Buti na lang talaga matatag ang loob natin." sabi ni Henry. "Dahil kung hindi paano na kaya ang mga bata dito? At ang lugar na ito?"
"Kaya nga we took Social Work eh, dahil defender tayo ng mga bata at mga taong naaapi." sagot ni Yesha. "Mabuhay tayong lahat."
Chapter 6: "Unfortunate Event"
That night of May as I was walking home marami ang tumatakbo sa aking isipan. I felt too tired and my head was spinning, the next thing I knew I was lying on the ground. But everything was blur and everything was red and I couldn't move my body then nothing. NOTHING.
* * *
"Excuse me, nurse."
"Yes, Sir."
"How's the patient?"
"Ok na po s'ya." she answered. "She has a minor wound on her head and some bruises more than that she's responding now and her vital signs are normal."
"Salamat."
* * *
I heard the voice of my mother, she was crying and I don't know why I couldn't move. I want to come to her and comfort her. Then I heard the voices of my siblings, they were whispering. "Bakit anung nangyari? Sinong iniiyakan ni mommy? Anong pinagbubulungan n'yo? I need to wake up from my sleep, I need to wake up for these people but I couldn't find the strength to do so... teka patay na ba ako? Is this the judment day for me?! Wait! Kailangan kong magising, I'm not yet finished with my mission. I need to ask forgiveness from someone... please give me another chance... PLEASE...
* * *
Henry and Yesha arrived in the hospital and they hurried to room 206, there they saw Mrs. Pablo together with Jami and her husband. Mrs. Pablo looked up and thanked them for coming, Yesha embraced her and told her that everything will be alright. "Sana nga, Hija."
"Ano ba'ng nangyari kay Cheren?" Henry asked.
"Nabanga s'ya ng sasakyan habang naglalakad." sagot ng asawa ni Jamie. "Yun ang sabi ni Sir Gonzales."
"Ano ka ba naman, Ren?" sabi ni Henry habang hinahaplos ang kamay ng dalaga. "Hindi ka man lang nag ingat. Kung alam ko lang na mangyayari 'to sayo dapat sinamahan na kita."
"Sino po'ng nakabangga sa kanya?" tanung ni Yesha.
"Hindi kilala." sagot ni Jamie. "Hit and Run buti na lang may tumulong kay ate."
"She's awake." Henry said. "Kamusta? Huh?"
"Ok lang ako... teka bakit nasa hospital ako?" I asked. "At anu 'tong nasa ulo ko?"
They told me I have an accident and that the person na bumangga sa akin ay tinakasan ako. Mabuti na lang daw at may tumulong sa akin at nadala agad ako sa hospital. Jamie told me about mom's reaction halos maglumpasay daw sa sahig ang inay ng malaman ang codition ko. Mabuti na lang daw at maliit ang sugat na tinamo ko sa aking ulo at gasgas lang daw ang inabot ko. I told them na I wanna thank the person who offered me a helping hand. Dahil baka patay na ako kung hindi dahil sa kanya.
"Saglit lang, anak." sabi ni mommy. "Nasa labas s'ya tatawagin ko lang."
* * *
After 5 minutes later the door opened---
"Kamusta ka na, Miss Cheren?"
"Alex?" tanung ko. "Ikaw ang nagligtas sa buhay ko?"
"If that's what you want to believe in." sagot n'ya. "You should have been careful. Hindi ka man lang nagpasama kay Henry para at least kung may mangyari sayo eh may makakatulong sayo."
"So you're blaming me for this?!"
"You should have thanked me. Hindi yung parang galit ka pa sa akin." sabi n'ya. "Kung wala ako paano ka na?"
"Sa bagay tama ka but you don't have to preach... besides 'di ko naman akalain na I will have migraine habang naglalakad ako." sagot ko.
"Alright I'm sorry." he said. "It's just You scared the hell out of me... Bakit ba pinapag alala mo 'ko ng ganito?"
"I'm so sorry Mr. Gonzales... I really didn't mean to." sabi ko. "But sincerely I want to thank you sana hindi ka na nag abala baka mag away pa kayo ng fiancée mo."
"Hindi naman. Mabait yun tsaka very understanding, By the way gusto mo na bang kumain?"
"Wag na. I can feed myself." sagot ko. "Umuwi ka na lang."
That night naka uwi na rin kami at nalaman ko na si Alex ang nagbayad ng hospital bills ko. I couldn't argue about dahil kailangan ko pang magpagaling but I promised myself na babayaran ko na lang s'ya. Yesha offered to stay with me in the house dahil si inay ay pupunta pa sa kapatid kong may sakit. Nagpasalamat ako kay Jamie at sa kanyang asawa dahil nag abala pa silang puntahan ako sa hospital.
"Basta, ate magpagaling ka. 'Wag ka masyadong stress alam mo namang bawal sayo yan eh." sabi ni Jamie. "Una na kami dahil nanay lang ni Oscar ang kasama ng mga bata."
"Sige, bunso salamat."
Kumain talaga ako pagdating namin sa bahay dahil nagutom ako at naiinis sa sarili ko dahil sa nangyari sa akin bakit kasi of all people na pwedeng tumulong sa akin ay si Alex pa. But at the same time I'm thankful for dahil kung hindi dahil sa kanya eh baka pinaglalamayan na ako ngayon.
"Sis, stress eating ka huh." Yesha said. "Mabuti pa ilabas mo yan."
Pagkataops kumain inalalayan ako ni Yesha paakyat sa aking kwarto. I tried to sleep but I just couldn't maraming gumugulo sa isip ko at kasama na dun si Alex, Yesha was sleeping beside me pero nagulat ako dahil gising pa pala s'ya.
"Di ka ba makatulog?"
"Oo, sis." sagot n'ya. "I'm curious about you and Alex dahil he seems to care for you a lot."
"May fiancée na yung tao... 'kaw talaga." sabi ko. "tigilan mo na nga yan, sis."
"We'll kwentuhan mo ako tungkol sa inyo tutal ikakasal na naman s'ya."
"Fine."
* * *
Alex and I became friends though hindi laging nagmi-meet ang schedule namin. He seems to have a lot of questions about me and my family. So I told him everything na I'm an orphan and it's been a long time since I saw my dad. He was attentive and he seemed to know a lot of things, sometimes he'll take me to amusements and we would just spend time with his friends and mine. Every now and then sinasama n'ya ako sa bahay nila at pinakilala pa n'ya ko sa parents n'ya. My dormmates were telling me na may gusto sa akin si Alex at 'di raw magtatagal eh liligawan n'ya ako. At that time I was 21 years old but I didn't act like one, maybe because I lost a lot of my childhood kaya para akong bata but I cared for him as a friend.
After one school year I went back to the orpanage and Alex would always text me, asking kung sa Pangasinan pa rin ako mag aaral. I told him na dun pa rin naman ako. One week before class I was already in Pangasinan at nag enroll, Alex assisted me. Kapag kasama ko s'ya everything seems easy to accomplish dahil alam n'ya lahat ng department na dapat puntahan.
"After mo makapag enrolled the treat kita." he said smiling.
"For what?" tanung ko sabay kabig sa kanya. "Dami mong alam."
"Dahil nakapag enroll ka na." sagot n'ya. "Is it reasonable enough?"
"Sige na po."
* * *
Tiningnan ko si Yesha, tulog na tulog na s'ya. Pumikit na lang din ako dahil napagod ako sa pagkwento at tinulugan lang pala ako ng kasama ko.
"Umiinom ka? Gabing-gabi?" tanung ng kasama ni Alex. "Don't tell me s'ya na naman ang dahilan."
"Oo, pare." sagot n'ya. "I couldn't sleep lalo na gan'on ang kalagayan n'ya."
"Naku, pre tulog mo na lang yan. May mag aalaga dun. Eh sayo...
"Tumigil ka na, sige akyat na ako."
Alex went upstairs at nagtinginan na lang ang parents n'ya at kanyang pinsan. Then he went to his room and set the wine on the table. Humiga sa kanyang kama at pumikit may na alala s'ya:
* * *
June 4,2014
"Cute, pwede ba kitang isama?" tanung ni Alex. "May gimik kasi mga tropa kailangan daw may kasama."
"Okay, anung oras?" sagot ko. "Para tingnan ko schedule ko."
"Around 6 p.m."
Without her knowing Alex prepared something special, hindi alam ni Cheren na magtatapatna si Alex ng kanyang pag-ibig. Time flies slowly that Alex became so nervous, hindi n'ya alam kung bakit but he assured himself na kailangan n'yang maging handa sa pwedeng isagot ni Cheren sa kanyan.
5:30 pa lang ng hapon nasa labas na ng dormitory si Alex, nakamotor at medyo nakaporma. Nakita s'ya ng mga kasama ni Cheren sa dorm. Nagtili-an ang mga kababaihan at ang roommate naman ay dali-daling umakyat sa hagdanan.
"Mare, nandyan ang prince mo."
"Ano ka ba? Ano ba yun?" tanung ni Cheren.
"Si Alex dear nand'yan."
Bumaba si Cheren at sinabi na marami pa s'yang ginagawa but Alex just nodded and said that he was willing to wait. Nagprepare na ri si Cheren after finishing her schedule, medyo natagalan din s'ya dahil hindi n'ya alam kung ano ang kanyang isusuot.
"Mars, magdress ka for a change. lagi ka na lang naka-jeans." sabi ng kanyang room mate.
"Ok, sige." sagot n'ya. "salamat, mars."
Cheren went down stairs at nagpaalam sa kanilang landlady, sinabi n'ya na uuwi s'ya bago mag 9:00 p.m. and she was free to go. The dormitorians wish her luck, natawa na lang s'ya at nagpasalamat then she closes the door behind her.
"Wow, you look pretty." sabi ni Alex. "No, beautiful that's what you are."
"Panalo ka na sa basketball." biro ni Cheren sabay tawa.
"Bakit naman." tanung ni Alex. "Sakay na."
"Binobola mo ako eh." sagot ni Cheren.
"No. What I'm saying is true." sabi n'ya. "Come on wear your helmet.
Dumating sila sa isang resort, the place was quiet but all the lights made the place warm and approachable. Alex leads her to the table and assists her as she sits, "Al, anong meron?" Alex sat on the opposite side and then soft music began playing. "Kala ko ba may gimik barkada mo?"
"Well, if I were to ask you for a date siguradong hindi ka papayag kaya I tried my second option." sagot ni Alex. "I just want to take this moment to tell you how much you mean to me."
"Alex--
"Just hear me out, I know this seems crazy 'coz we're friends but I couldn't lie to myself... not anymore." Alex said. "I like you from the very first time that I saw you, I picture mysel with you as my girlfriend but I don't know how to approach you then kaya I ask that we become friends... Ms. Cheren, when I'm with you the world seems a better place and you make me feel like I can do anything."
Cheren became quiet and she just looked at Alex then she stared at her lap with her hands held together, she couldn't explain how she felt inside. Parang tama naman pero parang may mali, alam n'ya na the feeling is mutual but what's this feeling? She seems scared pero hindi n'ya alam kung bakit. Then Alex took her trembling hand and held her close to him, they danced as the music was playing in the background.
"Cheren, ano na ba ang sagot mo sa pangliligaw ko?" he asks ever so gently. "I love you... and I'm willing to prove my love for you until my last breath... since you came into my life... my black and white world starts to come alive... you're like a paint on the empty canvas... I just can't live without you."
Then she felt a gossamer kiss on her lips, she closed her eyes and Alex smiled. "You know what I really like about you---
"Ssshhh... What if sasagutin kita? You'll be my first... I'm so afraid that I don't know what to do."
"You don't have to be afraid... I'm not playing around." Alex said. "I promise you today na hindi kita paglalaruan... just give me a chance to love you. Will you, my sweet Cheren."
She nodded. Alex looked at her na hindi makapaniwala, "Tayo na ba? Mahal mo rin ba ako? Please tell me."
"Oo, mahal kita at sinasagot na kita."
"Yes!!! Girlfriend ko ni si Miss Cheren Pablo---
"Alex, anu ba baka may taong makarinig sayo." sabi ni Cheren na hindi alam ang kanyang magiging reaction.
"Hayaan mo, walang tao dito family resort namin 'to. Pinasara ko sa parents ko para sa 'tin." sagot n'ya. "I'm the luckiest guy alive!!! I love you, love you, Cheren!"
Nakangitin na lang si Cheren habang pinagmamasdan n'ya si Alex na sumisigaw at talon ng talon. She was also happy coz for the first time she will trust someone with her heart. And she vowed to be faithful to him no matter what.
Alex escorted her and left. As Cheren was climbing the stairs, she received a text message: "Goodnight, miss beautiful. I love you." Then she went inside her room and her roommate was so happy to hear the news. "Mars, ang swerte mo. hay kailan kaya ako makahanap ng katulad sa boyfriend mo."
* * *
"How's your date, hijo?" tanung ng kanyang ina.
"I feel like exploding, I never felt this way with the past girl friends that I have... Oh mom."
"That's because it's real." sabi ng daddy n'ya. "Anak, 'wag mong sasaktan si cheren sa kahit anong paraan. Love her and I assure you hindi mo pagsisisihan kapag ginawa mo ang sinasabi ko."
"Salamat, dad." sagot n'ya. "Goodnight po. May trabaho pa ako bukas."
Habang nakahiga s'ya sa kanyang kama, he pictures Cheren's face when he gives her a kiss, napangiti si Alex. "Napaka inosente mo pa talaga, Miss Pablo but for me it's alright 'coz that's the reason why I fell in love with you." Then He wrote in his journal:
June 4, 2014
You're so innocent that you caught me unaware, I'm falling for you and I just don't care; Because with you I feel like I could face the world, Time seems to stop as you walk across the hall way.
Your eyes are ebony black with the twinkle of the stars, your lips are like springs of water so sweet and refreshing. I don't know why I feel strong when I'm with you, I wonder how your sweet smile makes me weak in an instant.
I never felt this way before though I have had girlfriends in my past, none of them made my heart beat so loud and fast; This might be what they call "True Love" and it just hit me like a lightning, Miss Cheren, for you I'm willing to go through thick and thin 'coz you're my everything.
Alex James Gonzales
Chapter 7: "The Theatre"
After a week I was able to go back to work, we have a new administrator who was a friend of Sir Edward. The place was like a hive for everyone in their work but they are happy except for Yesha, I asked her why and she told me that Henry resigned from our institution. Then she handed me an envelope, I opened the letter and it said:
May 13, 2024
Dear Cheren,
I know you won't be around to see me say good bye, so I wrote you a letter. I just want to thank you for being so kind and for being there for me always. Siguro nagtataka ka kung bakit ako nagresign... Frankly salary is not the issue, it's just I couldn't stay one more day with you. Not because masama ang ugali mo, it's just I'd be lying to myself if I stay.
Ren, you're such a good friend and you support me sa lahat ng mga bagay but there's more to friendship that you couldn't offer. Maraming beses gusto kong sabihin sayo ang totoong nararamdaman ko but I hesitate coz baka lumayo ka na sa akin. I have no regrets by the time you read this letter I'll be in Canada.
One more thing mag iingat ka palagi 'coz wala na ako to remind this to you. Cheren, I love you so much. Lahat na ginawa ko pero wala pa rin... Siguro hindi tayo para sa isa't-isa however hope you pray for me always and I hope na matagpuan mo na ang hinahanap mo.
Yours truly, Henry Cruz
I folded the letter with tears in my eyes, everyone is leaving and some are coming back while others are new in this play we call "Life." Of all the emtions I hate the most, it's crying... the pain of losing someone. After a long tiring day umuwi akong masama ang pakiramdam, mag isa lang ako sa bahay since my mother decided to live with my uncle.
I got my mail and saw a wedding invitation from Alex, I felt so deppress and I don't know what to do. Then I heard a knock from the gate, it was Yesha and I felt so happy and relieved. "Sis, grabe nawala lang si Henry eh parang na lugi ka ng isang milyon. Tell me may problema ka ba?"
"Wala nakatanggap lang ako ng invitation sa kasal ni Alex at ng pakakasalan n'ya." malungkot kong sagot.
"Ikaw nga Cheren magtapat ka sa 'kin. More than friends kayo ni Sir Alex noon ano?" tanung n'ya. "Coz you wouldn't act like that kung wala. Girl be honest..."
"Sige na sige na." sagot ko. "One-year kami then my phone was stolen, got transferred to another college then tapos na kami."
Yesha look at me then pinch my side, "Ganun lang kadali? Your cellphone was stolen from tapos wala na kayo. Okay ka lang?! Bakit di mo s'ya hinanap? I mean hello may fb naman... no official break up tapos ngayon mag e-emote ka nang ganyan?!"
"'Wag ka ng magalit, past is past."
"Past is past? Eh kung hampasin ko kaya yang mukha mo, sis." sabi n'ya. "Kung maka- past ka naman, so are you going to the wedding ceremony next month?"
"Let me think about it." sagot ko. "For now I need to rest, I'm having migrain. You can sleep in my room."
* * *
At the airport Alex waited for the arrival of his best friend, the lady arrived at exactly 8:00 in the morning. He escorted her to a hotel and after an hour they went for a ride to a nearby café to enjoy a cup of hot coffee.
"So you want me to act as your bride?" Hazel ask. "Sa tingin mo gagana yang plano mo, best?"
"I think so." sagot n'ya. "I just want to see kung masasaktan s'ya."
"Then what? Why complicate things?" tanung n'ya na nakakunot ang nuo. "Bakit 'di mo na lang sabihin yung totoo? Pero sige dahil best friend kita... gagawin ko."
"Thanks." Alex said. "I just want to know kung mahal n'ya pa ako."
"Anu ba'ng nagyari sa inyo?" tanung ni Hazel. "Eh, hindi nga kayo mapaghiwalay noon."
"I don't know. It goes like this."
* * *
June 2014 came, pasukan na naman. Alex was excited to see Cheren; he just misses her. Pumunta s'ya sa school then dumiretso s'ya sa classroom ng mga social work students. Nagtanung kung dumating na si Cheren.
"Ay. Hindi n'ya ba sinabi sayo na she'll transfer to a different school?" tanung ng isang istudyante.
"Nung 1st week ng May n'ya kinuha yung mga transfer credentials n'ya."
"Ah, ganun ba? Sige salamat."
Then he walks to his class, malungkot s'ya dahil 'di man lang nagpa-alam si Cheren, but he shoves the thought away. And texted her to let her know how hurt he was but if she really has to study somewhere then iintindihin n'ya.
"'tol, baka humanap na yun ng iba." sabi ng kanyang ka-tropa.
Alex shook his head and told them na Cheren's too good to do that thing to him, besides they promised each other na walang 3rd party. But deep down he was depressed and was wondering what if mangyari nga yung sinasabi ng mga kaibigan n'ya. Day after day he waited for her text until days became weeks and weeks became months.
That's when he stops believing na babalik pa si Cheren, his mom told him na maghanap ng iba but he was too hurt to love again. "Bakit kung kylan seryoso na ako, nawala pa? Bakit sa lahat ng karma si Cheren pa?" Binuhos n'ya ang kanyang oras sa pag aaral at nakagraduate with flying colors.
* * *
"Ngayon may trabaho na ako." Alex said. "And we met again, my love for her was still the same."
"Best, ang hirap naman ng sitwasyon mo." sabi n'ya. "Niloko ka lang nung Cheren na yun."
"Ewan, but she's too kind para gumawa ng ganung bagay." pagtatanggol ni Alex.
Hazel just looked at him with pity and amazement then gave him a pat on the shoulders. Then sinamahan s'ya ni Alex sa hotel at umalis na para puntahan ang building project n'ya sa Pampanga.
* * *
At the institution after all the reports and program organizing Yesha and Cheren took a walk at nagtambay sa prayer garden, they chatted until they came to the topic that Cheren hated the most.
"Sis, hindi mo na ba mahal si Alex?"
"Hindi na, ikakasal na s'ya kaya pwede ba wag mo ng itanong yan, as if it will change everything."
"Sige na nga, sama ka na lang sa 'kin mamaya. A friend invited me to a party, ok?"
"Sure. What should I wear?" I ask trying to sound interested.
"Dress dahil formal party yun." she answered.
* * *
Hazel was busy preparing for the party and kung pa'no s'ya magpapanggap na fiancée ni Alex, medyo kabado s'ya pero kailangan. Whatever may happen she has to be prepared and to make it look real. Yesha felt bad about not telling Cheren na ang pupuntahan nila ay Bridal shower ng papakasalan ni Alex but she was not allowed to say anything. She was just asked to play a part in the game she never thought of playing. Meanwhile Cheren was nervous but she doesn't know why as if her heart would burst if she would not calm herself, her mom cautioned her not to attend dahil may kutob s'ya na may mangyayaring hindi maganda. She explains na nakapayag na s'ya and she would be a liar if hindi s'ya pupunta besides it's just an ordinary party and Yesha would be there also.
Chapter 8: "Revelation"
Everyone in the room was enjoying the music, and ladies were being asked to dance with the gentlemen. Cheren's eyes move around the room to see her friend's familiar face, the room was scented with roses designed on the table, she was enjoying the scene until she saw Alex. "Ano ba'ng ginagawa nito? Why is he here? Para s'yang stalker. Hay, nasa'n ka na ba Yesha?"
"Sis, dumating ka na pala."
"Oh, Hi!" sagot ko. "Kanina ka pa ba dito? Ba't nandito si Alex?"
"Ah, bridal shower kasi 'to para kay Hazel---
"Hazel?"
"S'ya yung babaeng papakasalan ni Alex." paliwanag ni Yesha.
Then dumating si Alex with Hazel holding on his arm, he introduces her to me. At first I didn't know about kung anung sasabihin ko it's like may nakabarang bagay sa lalamunan ko. I just wanted to scream but nothing came out. "Nice to meet you, congratulations. I wish you all the best."
Then Alex went to the lectern and made his speech:
"I want to thank you, all for coming. This is a special day for me and Hazel." he held her hand. "I want you all to know that this woman standing before you, is the woman I intend to marry. She was there for me lalo na nung mga oras na iniwan ako ng dati kong minamahal. Masakit halos di ako makapag moved on then Hazel came into my life, and she gave me the reason to love again. Sa kanya ko naramdaman na mahalaga ako and I pledge na hindi ko na s'ya iiwan. This girl who gave her everything makes me want to give my all to the point that I want to spend my life with her. Hazel, I love you. Without you I wouldn't have reached this far."
Everyone cheered. I smiled and Yesha and I decided to rest a bit. I saw Hazel smile and how Alex acted when she held him, and there's something in the way they look at each other. then I felt a pinch of pain in my heart but I tried to set the pain aside. Tiningnan ko si Yesha.
"Sis, why didn't you tell me na bridal shower pala pupuntahan natin?" tanung ko. "At yung sa papakasalan pa ni Alex. Ano ba'ng tingin mo sa 'kin? Manhid?"
"I thought ok lang sayo and besides it's no big deal naman nung malaman mo na magpapakasal na si Alex." paliwanag n'ya. "Kala ko ba past is past?"
"Tama ka. But it makes me uncomfortable." sagot ko. "Excuse me."
Maraming tao and his parents were there pati ang kanyang mga kaibigan. I felt my chest tighten and I made my way through the crowd until I found the way out. Nag elevator, sumakay ng taxi at nagpahatid sa bahay. Nag bihis ako at pumunta sa aming institution, I sat there on my office chair. "Damn...Ang tanga mo dapat nakinig ka na lang at hindi pumunta... What now? IIyak ka? It doesn't make any sense."
Then I received a text message: "sis, na sa'n ka?" I replied, "Pesensya may emergency sa bahay, Sis." I sent the message. Then I went back typing my resignation letter, I have to go coz I have no reason to stay. Kung pipiliin kong manatili dito baka mamatay lang ako sa sobrang sakit ng puso ko. I gather all my things and place the letter on the administrator's table.
"O, ano yan." tanung ni mama. "Aalis ka ba?"
"Opo, sa laguna muna ako." sagot ko. "Pag may nagtanung kahit kakilala n'yo 'wag n'yon sabihin kung nasa'n ako, please."
"Pero anak?"
I went upstairs at nag impake ng mga gamit. I was in tears with no one to talk to but this is not how I wanted things to happen kaya ako na lang ang aalis. But where? Then I remember I have work offered in Singapore and any time pwede akong umalis. I guess this is it. My mother was looking at me habang nagliligpit ako. "Anak, hindi ko alam ang pinag dadaanan mo pero ang pag alis mo lang ba ang makakapag ayos ng mga bagay?" she said and embraced me. "Ma, pagod na ako. Ayoko na and this is the only way I can think of para makalimot." "Sige, basta anak, mag iingat ka." Nung handa na ang lahat umalis na ako pa puntang Laguna, I decided to stay for a month with my eldest brother. Alam ko na maiintindihan ako ng kuya ko at mastahimik sa lugar namin kaya ginusto kong dun muna mamalagi. I was on the bus, it felt like ang haba ng byahe at malungkot ang gabi as if nakikiramay ang kalangitan sa aking nararamdaman.
* * *
"Yesha, where's Cheren?" Alex ask. "She was here awhile ago."
"Ah, may emergency daw sa bahay nila." sagot n'ya. "But I don't believe her."
The party was over and Alex was alone in the room then Hazel came. "Best, tama na. Mukhang 'di naman s'ya affected..." "No, on the contrary... she was hurt and so was I. Kanina when I introduce you to her I saw the pain in her eyes but she manages to mask it with her smile... that girl, I don't know kung bakit napaka misteryoso n'ya." He let out a sigh and gazed outside the window.
"Mahal mo pa rin ba s'ya?" tanung ni Hazel.
"Yes... I love her more than life itself. Without her in my life I feel so empty... Mahal ko s'ya and for that I became so foolish..."
"Then habulin mo."
Alex sat down with his face in his hands. "What did I do? I was just trying to know if masasaktan ka. But your pain became my own... My... Cheren." Umalis na sila at si Hazel ay dumiretso sa kanyang hotel, si Alex naman ay umuwi sa vacation house ng parents n'ya. On his way back all he could think of was Cheren and the pain that he saw in her eyes back at the party and the way she tried to project her smile.
The next day Yesha was surprise that Cheren was gone, She tried to call her but she couldn't. After her work pumunta sa bahay ni Cheren but the gate was locked. She asks the neighbors and they inform her na umalis ang ina ni Cheren at hindi nila alam kung kailang babalik. She tried to contact Cheren's siblings but to no avail they couldn't tell her kung nasaan s'ya. So Yesha told Alex about what happened to Cheren, he was devastated to hear the news. They met at the institution. Nagtanung-tanong s'ya kung may dahilan ba kung bakit nagresign si Cheren. The administrator said that Cheren was offered a job in Singapore according to the resignition letter. After three weeks nagbakasakali silang pumunta sa bahay nila Cheren.
"Tao po."
"Sandali lang." sagot ng taong nasa loob. "Anung kailangan n'yo?"
"Nand'ya po ba si Cheren?" Alex ask. "Gusto ko po s'yang maka usap."
"Pasensya na kayo, hindi ko kayo matutulungan." sabi ng nanay ni Cheren. "Bilin ng anak ko na 'wag kong sasabihin kahit kaibigan n'ya pa ang magtanong."
"Please lang po, tita." sabat ni Yesha. "May kailangan pong malaman si Cheren."
"Pumasok kayo."
Then pinaghanda sila ng meryenda ni Mrs. Pablo at nagsimula nang ikwento ni Alex ang nangyari sa kanila ni Cheren. Nagulat ang ina ni Cheren at na-iyak. "Kaya tita for my sake, please tell me where she is. Para malaman ko rin ang kalagayan n'ya."
"Sige na po, nay." pilit ni Yesha. "Baka makakabuti ito kay Cheren."
"Pero nangako ako sa anak ko." paliwanag ng ina. "Pero kung sa ikabubuti ng anak ko. Sige, nandun s'ya sa kanyang kuya sa Laguna. Pero hindi ko masisiguro na nandoon pa s'ya ngayon."
"Maraming salamat po, tita." sabi ni Alex. "Mauna na po kami. bukas na bukas eh pupunta kami sa kanya."
Napahinga ng maluwag si Alex at Yesha dahil sa wakas alam na nila kung nasaan si Cheren. "Baka naman sayangin mo pa itong oras na 'to, huh Sir Gonzales." sabi ni Yesha. "Maawa naman kayo sa sarili n'yo at sa kaibigan ko."
"Oo, naman Yesha." sagot n'ya. "This time it's for real... no more lies but I still need your help. salamat nga pala."
They bid each other goodbye and Alex was thinking to himself kung pa'no na ipagtatapat kay Cheren ang katotohanan and how will he be able to make Cheren speak her mind. Marami ang gumugulo sa isip n'ya. Pero alam n'ya na sigurado na s'ya at handa ng malaman ang sagot sa matagal n'yang katanungan. At kahit ano pa ang maging kasagutan ay tatanggapin n'ya na walang pag-aalinlangan. Dahil ang mahalaga sa kanya ay si Cheren and what's the reason behind her early disappearance.
Chapter 9: "Tears and Torture"
Cheren stayed with her brother at nakahanap s'ya ng pagkaka-abalahan at ito ay ang pagbabantay ng tindahan na pinapatakbo ng kuya n'ya. Tatlong linggo na rin aang lumipas mula ng nagpasya s'yang umalis at mamalagi sa bahay ng kanyang kapatid, tatlong linggo na rin s'ya walang tamang tulog at nangangamba ang kanyang kapatid sa maaaring mangyari sa kanya.
"Ano ka ba, Ren?" tanung ng kangyang kuya. "Sinasayang mo ang buhay mo para lang sa isang lalaki. Bakit kasi hindi ka gumawa ng paraan noon para nakapag communicate kayo sa isa't-isa? Tapoz ngayon umi-iyak ka ng ganyan. Alam mo ba'ang nasasaktan akong nakikita kang ganyan. Paano na ang pangarap mo? Tutuloy ka pa ba sa Singapore?"
"Opo naman." sagot kong nanglulupaypay. "Naduwag lang siguro ako, maybe I was too selfish... kuya, hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Ikakasal na s'ya 3 days from now..."
"Iiyak ka lang? Bakit 'di mo sabihin sa kanya na mahal mo pa rin s'ya? Mag paliwanag ka at baka maintindihan n'ya."
"Hindi na kailangan, aalis na rin ako." sagot kong umiiyak. "Ayos na ang mga papers ko kaya 'di na impotante yun."
"Sige, kung sa tingin mo yan ang makakabuti sayo, masgugustohan ko na rin ng ganyan kesa nakikita kitang malungkot at gabi-gabing umiiyak."
Every night she cries herself to sleep, every now and then she would be awakened by her regrets. For the past 3 weeks this has been her routine and every time she experiences nightmares, her brother would be there to wake her and comfort her.
"Please, leave me alone. Hindi na kita kailangan, kung pwede lang tigilan mo na ang panggugulo sa aking isipan. Sana hindi na kita nakilala... sana hindi ka na lang naging parte ng aking buhay... dahil iniwan mo rin ako katulad ng iba... teka bakit gano'n lahat na lang ng mahal ko sa buhay ay iniiwan ako? Sadyang nakatadhana ba ako sa ganito?"
"Ren! Ren!" her brother called shaking her awake. She opens her eyes.
"Bakit po." tanung ko.
"Nilalagnat ka." sabi ng kanyang kuya. "Ano ka ba naman, kapatid. hay."
"Pasensya na po, kuya."
"'Wag kang humingi sa akin ng sorry kundi sa sarili mo." sabi ni kuya. "You're killing yourself."
* * *
Kinabukasan umalis sila Alex pa puntang Laguna kasama ang ina ni Cheren. "Sana may maabutan pa tayo." Pagdating sa bahay ng nakakatandang kapatid ni Cheren nalaman nilang wala na s'ya. "Flight n'ya bukas ng maaga, kaya kung ako sa inyo puntahan n'yo na ngayon."
"Salamat po." sabi ni Alex. "At pasensya na rin sa abala."
"'Wag na kayong magpasalamat." sagot ni Mark. "Saka na kapag nagka usap na kayo."
* * *
Nahospital ang ama ni Alex kay nagmadali s'yang umuwi para maasikaso ang kanyang ama. Pagdating sa hospital nalaman n'yang nadisgrasya ang kanyang ama habang nagpapalit ng bumbilya sa bahay. Kaunting fracture sa binti ang tinamo ng kanyang ama maliban doon ay maayos naman ang kalagayan nito.
"Kamusta na po kayo, pa?" tanung n'ya. "Dapat kasi naghire na lang kayo ng pwedeng gumawa ng ilaw."
"Ayos lang ako, anak. Ikaw ba? Naka-usap mo na si Cheren."
"Hindi pa po." sagot n'ya. "Bukas po ang flight n'ya around 7:30 in the morning."
"Ano pa'ng ginagawa mo? Puntahan mo na s'ya." sabi ng kanyang ama. "Kaya ko'ng umuwi ng mag isa."
"Pero pa-
After hours of waiting Mrs. Gonzales arrived and she asked him na pumunta na kay Cheren habang may oras pa. She assured him na kaya n'yang bantayan ang kanyang ama at magiging ok lang sila pagkatapos ng mahabang pilitan ay napasang ayon din nila si Alex.
"Napakabuti mong anak." sabi ng kanyang ina. "May heaven be at your side this time."
"Thanks, ma."
There was no time to lose kailangan n'yang umabot sa airport at gumawa ng matinding dahilan para maka-usap si Cheren. Pero wala s'yang ma-isip na paraan, all he wanted was to tell her that she meant everything to her. "Heaven, I pray this time give us a second chance... And if that happens I won't let go of her ever again."
* * *
I was at the airport waiting for my flight, I was too early for the scheduled flight pero wala na akong dahilan para magbagal. "Eto na yun, I would be free from the pain and sa wakas malayo na ako sa taong nagbigay ng sobra sobrang sakit sa puso ko. But why does my conscience tell me to stay? Why does it feel like something is holding me back?" I look at the clock 30 minutes before my flight, my heart starts to flutter.
"Calling the attention of Miss Cheren Pablo, you are needed in the security area. Calling the attention of Miss Cheren Pablo, you are needed in the security area."
Nagulat ako at nagtaka kung bakit ako pinapatawag sa security area. "Baka nagkamali lang sila." I said to myself at dumiretso na ako sa departure area, nakapila na ako para sa flight ko pa Singapore. Then one of the security officers approached the place where I was standing. "Kayo po ba si Miss Cheren Pablo?" I nodded and asked them kung ano ang kaso ko but all they did was tell me na hindi nila alam at inutusan lang sila. Nagtinginan ang mga tao sa akin and I felt so humiliated, naiinis ako dahil hindi ko lubos maisip kung anong nilabag ko at kinailangan ko pang ma-iwan ng eroplano. "Anu ba naman 'to? Anak ng tipaklong... of all people ako pa." Pagdating ko sa security area I was told na may taong naghahanap sa akin at nasa waiting area daw s'ya. Lalong kumulo ang dugo ko dahil because of that person hindi ako nakasakay sa eroplano at mukhang sikat na personality dahil kinuntsaba pa n'ya ang mga tao sa Airport para dito. Naglakad na lang ako pa punta sa waiting area at hinanap ko yung taong sinasabi nila, sa dami ng tao sa airport na walan ako ng ganang maghanap and decided to just go home. sa pagmamadali kong maglakad nakabanga pa ako ng tao.
"Miss, ok ka lang." he asks catching my cellphone. "Here."
The voice was familiar. "Alex?" I ask looking at him. "Anong ginagawa mo dito?" without waiting for his answer naglakad na ako palayo.
"Where are you going?" he asks me to follow. "Saglit lang pwede ba?"
Binilisan ko ang aking pag lalakad and as much as possible dun ako nakikisiksik sa maraming tao dahil ayoko s'ya makita at maka-usap. "Hey, stop. Ok stop! Your airplane has left. So sa'n ka pupunta?" he said pulling me from the crowd and dragging me outside. "Ano ba, cheren? Talk to me."
"How did you know about my flight?! Ikaw ang nagpatawag sa 'kin sa security ano?!" I ask angrily. "Talk to you? For what? Would you just leave me alone!" I shouted and started running.
"Cheren! Stop! Ganyan ka ba talaga?" He said in a loud voice while trying to catch up with me. "When will you ever stop running away? Just hear me out."
But Cheren didn't even bother to look back and Alex was left in the middle of the crowd, he went out and saw Cheren stop a taxi. Then he followed the car from a distance, to avoid being noticed by her. Sinama n'ya rin si Yesha para gampanan ang pinag usapan nila.
Tumakbo ako at sumakay ng taxi at nag pahatid sa tabing dagat. I feel peaceful pag nandun ako kahit na mabigat sa kalooban ko ang mga nangyayari. There I stood to watch the sunset, wala masyadong tao dahil maraming kwento ang dagat na iyon pero para sa akin mas ok na yung mga kwento kesa ang harapin ko ang kinatatakutan ko. Sinundan ni Alex ang taxi na sinasakyan ni Cheren hanggang sa dalhin s'ya nito sa tabing dagat, hindi agad s'ya nagpakita dahil baka umalis ulit si Cheren pag nalaman n'ya na nakasunod si Alex sa kanya. From a distance he saw her body shaking and heard the sound of rocks she threw into the sea.
"Sandali lang, maghintay ka... h'wag ka ng umiyak... alam mo ba'ng ayaw kitang nakikitang malungkot at nag-iisa..."
* * *
Alex parked his car and asked Yesha to go and talk with Cheren for a while. "I would be there pero hindi muna ngayon. Ihahanda ko muna ang sarili ko. Please do your best to ease her pain."
"I'll try, Sir Gonzales." She replied getting out of the car. "But about the pain... only you can ease her from that... sana maging maayos na ang lahat."
Pinuntahan ni Yesha si Cheren. Thought she doesn't know what to say, she gathered all her strength to play the last part she was given. Meanwhile Cheren was still crying herself out and she was screaming to ease the pain she kept inside but no words came out from her lips. The sun has set and the cool breeze starts blowing, she felt cold not just from the outside but she felt heart cold because of all the happenings. This was not the same sunset that she came to love, everything was dull and it makes no sense at all.
"Dito lang pala kita makikita."
Nilingon ko ang pinanggagalingan ng tinig, medyo madilim na ang paligid and to my surprise it was Yesha. I felt so relieve at hindi na ko nag alinlangan na tumakbo at umiyak sa harap n'ya, Kung pano n'ya nalaman na nandito ako... wala na akong paki alam basta ang mahalaga nandito s'ya bilang kaibigan.
"Anung ginagawa mo dito, sis?" she asked embracing me. "Kala ko ba may flight ka?"
"Na iwan ako ng eroplano." sagot ko at umupo sa buhanginan.
"Ano? Na iwan ka ng eroplano? Anu ba'ng nangyari?
I started to tell her about what took place hours ago. She just listened and never blamed me.
* * *
Meanwhile Alex receives a call from his dad.
"Have you talked with her?"
"Not yet, dad." was his reply. "But I'm about to... Wish me luck."
"Sige, anak."
He hung up the phone and stared outside the window. "This time there would be no more lies... I would never lie to you again and to my heart. Cheren, I'm just here. You'll never cry 'coz of loneliness again."
Chapter 10: "Thorns and Roses"
I cried like I had never cried before. "Sis, how did you know I was here? Buti dumating ka. Pagod na ako sobra." I said between tears. Yesha just comforted me and we sat on the sand. "Sis, bakit ba tinatakasan mo s'ya? Hindi ka ba talaga affected?" she asked as she rubbed my back. "Mahal mo pa s'ya ano?"
"Oo, sis. Mahal na mahal pero para sa'n pa na sabihin ko 'tong mga bagay na 'to?" I ansewered as tears kept flowing from my eyes. "Mahal ko s'ya that up to now I don't know how to move on without him---
"Then why don't you tell him?" tanung n'ya. "Pretend that he is here right now, try it."
"Para sa'n pa? Sige nga ikakasal na s'ya bukas... Bakit pag sinabi ko bang hindi ko kayang mabuhay na wala s'ya will it change the fact that he already met someone na mas kaya s'yang mahalin." I said running my fingers through my hair. "Mahal kita, Alex and I never meant to hurt you. I love you so much that I can't trust my heart with someone else... If I could just bring it all back maybe, I woud have made a different decision... I'm sorry..."
Alex was standing at a distance and he heard everything, he felt like his heart would come out from his chest and he walked to where they were talking. Cheren was sitting with her head burried in her hands, she didn't notice na umalis na pla si Yesha at iba na ang taong nasa tabi n'ya. "Alam mo, sis. When I saw him for the first time after 8 years, gust ko s'yang yakapin... but when I found out na may papakasalan na s'ya. I told myself na masmabuti kung lalayuan ko na lang s'ya para hindi na ako masaktan... pero bakit habang lumalayo ako pinaglalapit kami ng tadhana. It felf so wrong...
"I feel the same way, too."
Nagulat ako nang makita ko na si Alex na pala ang katabi ko, suddenly gusto kong mawala pero he was there at hindi ko alam kung paano n'ya nalaman na nandito ako. "Anung?"
"Sshhh, so totoo ba yung narinig ko?" he asks looking into my eyes. "Mahal mo pa rin ako?"
I became quiet. "Narinig mo ba ang lahat ng 'yon?" I ask looking away, afraid that he'll see the depths of my soul. "Kasal mo bukas ba't nandito ka?" I stood up para umalis.
"Hindi ako magpapakasal sa taong hindi ko mahal." sagot n'ya.
"But--
"I'm not yet finished." sabi n'ya at hinawakan n'ya sa aking kamay. "Lahat ng nangyari ay hindi totoo, it was a play. And Hazel, she is my best friend and the wife of my cousin...
"How could you?" I asked as tears gathered in the corners of my eyes. "Bakit mo 'to ginagawa sa 'kin? You make me look like a fool! Are you happy?"
I started punching him kahit na alam kong kulang pa ang lakas ko para masaktan s'ya. "I did that to find out if you still love me." he said and pulled me in his arms. "Nagawa ko lang 'yon dahil sa pagmamahal ko sayo. Na-isip ko na baka magising ka, I just need to hear from you na mahal mo pa rin ako."
I struggle to get away from him but no matter what I do, hindi ko kayang kumawala sa kanya. I became silent dahil hindi ako makagalaw sa yakap ni Alex. Then I felt my body relax, we became quiet, all I could hear was the wave and the sound of the wind in my ears. Suddenly I was taken to the place I love most 8 years ago, niyakap ako ni Alex.
"Cheren, I love you. Yung tipong hindi ko kayang wala ka sa tabi ko. Mahal kita at walang ibang babaeng makakapalit ng lugar mo sa puso ko... Please stop running away... 'coz no matter where you go, I will follow you."
There were tears in his voice, then I felt an urge to apologize. "I'm sorry for not finding you in the first place... alam ko wala akong karapatang saktan ang taong tulad mo na walang ginawa kundi ang mahalin ako... Ina-amin ko nagkamali ako. I deserve all this and maybe more than this... But I just want you to know na hindi kita pinag palit sa iba kahit minsan and I regret--
"Tama na, Miss Cheren." He said gently caressing my face. "For now all I care about is you and that fact that you love me, too. That's all that matters."
Then I felt a pain in my head, the next thing I knew I was lying on the soft bed and Alex was sitting at the bed side. "Hay! Ikaw talaga, Miss Pablo. Lagi mo akong tinatakot." he said giving me a glass of water.
"Anu ba'ng nangyari, al?" I asked. "Thanks."
Hindi s'ya sumagot. "Hon, ba't 'di ka sumasagot?" I asked him to sit beside me. "Ikaw kasi, I like hearing you call me, honey." sagot n'ya. "By the way, nagcolapse ka kagabi that's why I brought you home... natuwa nga sila mama when they found out na nakuha ulit kita. Don't worry I told your mom and siblings na ok ka na. At dito ka na titira sa bahay."
"You, What?!" I asked. "Honey, naman eh... Anung dito titira?"
"Calm down, I was just kidding them." he replied wrapping his arms around me. "Wanna walk outside? may magandang mga bulaklak sa garden I like you to be the first person to see those beauties."
It was already 4 in the afternoon and we strolled down the path to the garden. The place was beautiful, all the roses were in bloom and the sweet aroma filled the air. I was busy admiring the flowers. And I didn't realize na maraming tao pala sa bandang unahan ng garden until I heard Alex's voice.
"Miss Cheren, you made my life burst with colors. You're the one who taught me that if you believe nothing is impossible. Hindi ko alam kung pa'no ko sasabihin sayo na I want to spend my life with you, I can't live another day without you."
"Hon, anu ba? Maraming tao." I whisper to him. "Why are you kneeling? Tumayo ka nga."
"Cheren. My love, will you marry me? Will you promise to stay by my side forever?"
Nagpalakpakan ang mga tao, I didn't know what to say. "Oh my, is this the feeling when someone is kneeling in front of you? Parang napakaganda ko naman at importante." "Sagutin mo na, sis." I was brought back to reality. There was cheering and he was there waiting for my answer with his eyes looking straight into mine.
"Yes." I said as tears started to fall from my eyes.
"Hindi namin narinig!!!" the crowd shouted. Alex gave me his mischievous smile.
"Yes!! I will marry you." I shouted at the top of my voice. He put the ring on my finger.
"You make me the happiest person alive." he said. And Kissed my lips, my heart was fluttering as I heard the cheer of the people around us. "Hon, maraming nakatingin."
"Let them be." he answered. "Your lips are sweet, alam mo ba 'yon?" I gave him a little push and he gave a chuckle. "Totoo naman."
* * *
The wedding bells are ringing and I was in the waiting room, "Sa wakas anak, panatag na ang loob ko na magiging maligaya ka na." My mom was standing by my side. "Opo ma, this time I'm not running away anymore." I was so nervous as I walked down the aisle. All eyes on me and at the altar I saw Alex.
"Parang masgwapo s'ya ngayon. hmmm m.I promise to love you kahit sa huling yugto ng buhay ko... I will try my best to be a worthy wife to you."
As Cheren was walking down the aisle, Alex couldn't stop the tears from his eyes. Here at last the love of his life, walking towards him dressed in white.
"How beautiful you are, my love. How does the sun shine from your eyes? I may not be the perfect guy for you, but I promise you. I will always be there for you in your ups and downs I would hold you, care for you. I will love you 'til the last beat of this heart of mine."
The vows were said and at last they were husband and wife. After the long exciting day Alex brought Cheren to their new home, He carried her in his arms. "Hon, welcome to our palace. I have not much to give but myself and all that I have." "Al, I don't care kung wala tayong karangyaan sa mundo as long as we're together that's all that matters. Thank you, honey. Thank you for not giving up on me."
* * * WAKAS * * *
*None of the names and events pertain to a person dead or alive. This story is based on fictional characters by the author.