Road to Entitlement: Two

I have always been terrified of the dark. Not that dark where you just sleep without turning on the lights, but the kind of dark where your whole neighborhood didn't have any electricity, causing it to be total blackout.

I have episodic nightmares, where I am alone in the dark, trying to sleep. Someone besides me sings a lullaby, It was too vivid not to remember. I can even remember her exact words, "Honey, you need to sleep. They will arrive soon." She says as she is brushing my hair with her hands, her hands, soft as silk, small like how the tips of a brush is, sends me into comfort.

It was when I heard screeching tires as if they were in a hurry and they just step into break the car couldn't adjust, feet stomping outside, disseminating stomps that sounded from them walking together, to them parting their ways.

Until I could no longer hear their steps, I fall into the state of sleep, that was easily awaken by the sound of a gunshot. I open my eyes. See how my companions, they seem to be unalarm. "Honey, go back to sleep." I could hear the person besides me speak. I hear another gunshot, it sounded near to us compared to earlier. I get shivers.

"Ernilla!" I hear someone calls. "Ernilla!" Someone says, I am starting to regain consciousness and now feel the shaking he does to my body. "Ernilla!" He calls again.

I wake up, seeing me in bed soaking in my own sweat, in a long sitting position, both of Treyton's arms are on mine. Shaking them still. I look around, how did he manage to go inside my room?

"Thank God!" He says, leaning me towards him and gave me a quick hug. "I was so scared. You got me scared." He continues. Breaking me free from his hug.

"What happened?" I ask, still confuse on how did he entered my room.

"You didn't know?" He answered, I narrow my eyes and frown my eyebrows, what else do I need to know? "You were having a nightmare." He says, finally letting go both of my shoulders.

Then it hit me. Last night, there was power interruption. Causing me to sleep in the dark, and probably triggered my nightmare. Which also explains why he got into my room. The door knob on my room is electronically powered, causing it be unlock although I locked it a hundred of times last night. I look around and he is the only person in my room asides from me.

"How did you know?" I ask, removing the blanket underneath me currently soak in sweat.

"The power interruption last night caused the heater to broke down, and since I didn't have any clean blankets, I went out of my room to ask for some until I hear noices from your room, it was you, saying incomprehensible words." He says. All eyes fix on me as if I could have a nightmare awake and says words again.

"Thank you." I say giving him my warmest smile. I glance at the clock. It is only 3 AM. I look at everything, only realizing that the electricity is back. My home never blacks out anymore since my parents made sure of it after my first nightmare. It was long gone I even forgot I had this now.

"Thank you." I say again, change my position into a long sitting position, points the door with my lips, before speaking again. "You can now leave. I'm all good." I say, tucking the sheets behind the first layer of my bed, completely ashame now that Treyton had to see all of this.

"Actually, I can stay, until morning, I didn't want to leave you alone in case there is power interruption again." He says, then standing up, turned the little pointed triangle on top of the base of my doorknob. "This is how you lock the door manually in case the power is out again, I am not advising you though, seeing how much you were shivering today." He says, returns back to my bed, going over to the other side then taking out the soaked sheets I had tuck underneath.

"It's okay." He says, when I try to snatch the sheets currently in his hand. "You go back to sleep, and it doesn't bother me since you still smell like Mandarin and Coffee, whatever your bath essentials are, they are doing their work." He says before turning the knob again, and disappearing into the door.

I turn around. This is the second time I had that nightmare, and without the presence of both my parents or Emilla. I start to feel this heaviness in my chest. I wanted to run across the walls and run until I reach my house. But I hadn't seen any news of someone who had attempted to escape the centrus, I doubt if that happens, most of the contenders wanted to join anyway, their difference to mine is, I don't.

I hear the door opens, I am relieved to see that Treyton came back. He sat again in my bed, looking over the area, looking for something, When he sees my chair, he stands up, slides it towards the bed and tuck himself to it.

"Catch some sleep, Ernilla, We both need it." He says, before closing his eyes.

The comfort of i have someone who had seen the darkest me, and decides to stay, puts me in a comfortable sleep.

I am awaken of the sun rays seeping through my skin today, I glance to my left to see what time is it, and to my left and see Treyton sleeping soundly, I stand up, I have completely forgotten that he stayed here. I fold my sheets before waking him.

"Treyton." I say, tapping his shoulders. He seem to budge, I shout louder. He awakes, and stares at me. Also completely forgotting he stayed here. "Oh, yeah. I slept here." He says before composing himself.

"You need to go now, We only have 30 minutes before class starts." I say. I needed to get him out now, not when the bell rings and everyone are waiting for it outside their doors.

He stands up. Attempts to pull the chair into its position last night, I stop him and puts my hands in air and signals him to go out. He does what he is ordered and I lock the door.

I take my warm bath, now all I can think of while bathing is how Treyton paid attention to how I smell. Maybe this bath essentials are only existing in faction seven? This is what I have at home as well. Does that mean they have different bath essentials to us contenders? I didn't even want to fill myself with questions. I have enough.

I go outside, waited for the bell to ring, seeing how every one's door already have a person standing, except for Treyton and Kahlil. I stare at their doors when Kahlil, go out of his, and eventually Treyton did. I flash a smile at him and he returned the same. The bell rings and all of us ran towards our assigned room.

"Ever wonder how the faction seven became the richest faction?" I hear Alistair says, while eating his food for lunch, slowly drawing to his food using his fork. I don't know if that question is directed at me. But since lectures with Camilla usually are trivial facts about the chosen and not my faction itself, even if it was directed at me, I couldn't think of a possible answer.

"Well besides the number of trainers they had produce, what else would they be known for?" Alistair continues. That, I know what to answer. Because I've been into Dad's researches, and Dion's Dad as well. "Being a researcher pays well, even better when you acquired great results." I calmly answer before stuffing my mouth with food.

"Rich approaches." Alessia said. I am glad she finally joined our group. The privileged group won't do her well. It makes me question why on earth Amara and Marvelus approches our table. We agreed to have different sides. "I just wanna congratulate our friend here!" Amara says, lifting my face though my chin, still my mouth is stuff with food. What the hell is this walking doll is talking about?

"I happen to see, Treyton, coming out of your room this morning, so, 2 weeks into the chosen, you already gave yourself up?" Amara continues. I see how everyone started looking at me. But it was Alistair's eyes that made me want to belittle my self. He stares into me as if I had done something terrible. Treyton stands up. "See, this is why nobody wanted you for you. You always had reasons. Bad reasons." Treyton says, I am sure that that didn't appease their judgement on me.

"We have nothing to admit, but I won't give you the satisfaction of rubbing yourself to us without even knowing the truth, You could assume all you want, and I can't wait until your greed eats you." Treyton continues, before sitting down again.

"He is right Amara, I hate you, I won't give you the satisfaction of knowing the truth." Sage says, Amara replies by slaping her chest.

"Is there any other possibilities of how a boy and girl will end up on each other's room?" Marvelus added, seeing how he always backs up Amara, maybe they are the persons who are hiding something?

"Think all you want, And I will let you see how unaffected we are." I say, trying to be proud and mighty to hide that I am afraid. Treyton looks at me.

"Ernilla's right. We know the truth. You don't." Treyton says. It's not like they will tattle us to the headmistress? But If they do? What will happen? Nobody said that we are not allowed to be seen on each other's room.

They eventually left, realizing that even though they try to be hard on us, they won't get any answer. I slowly glance on Treyton. Is he also feeling this embarrassment on me? If so, how do we ignore it? How do we avoid ourselves of it?

"You can sit beside him, if you want to." I hear Alistair says. I follow his voice. His eyes is buried deep in mind. I ignore him and stare at Treyton again as he tries to eat in peace.

The privileged just harass us, I swear trying to eat in peace is out of the current options. I see Alistair stand up, walks towards me, lifts me up like I'm just a bag of rice that is easily lift, carries me to where Treyton is sitting. My food immediately follows.

"I told you, you can talk to him." He says, before finally standing up, putting his plate along with his unfinish food in the dish bin, before finally going out of the cafeteria.

I look at how everyone is shocked on what Alistair just did. I am more shocked because I didn't even fight back when he lifted me.

"What do we do about Amara and Marvelus? About all of them?" I say, attempting to calmly eat my food. The weight of everything starts to seep in through me. I never heard of any sanctions if one contender is seen in the room of another. Is this the first time? Now I wanted to run into Camila to ask some things.

"We do nothing, you know our conscience is clear. Why should we even bother? Just focus on being number one." Treyton says, finishing his last piece of meat and finally standing to clean up his plate.

I know we did nothing. But even if we do, if the time comes, we have no proof. I am scared of what I might actually end up experiencing. I continue eating, forcing bites into my mouth, my anxiety starts to walk in me. I decide to stand up and throw away my food.

Why did anyone have to see Treyton leave my room?

I walk back into my lecture room. Everything that Camila says seems to be jargon, I cannot understand anything, still bothered on what will be our sanction when this got out, plus the lack of proof.

"Why aren't you listening?" Camila asks. I sigh. "Is there anything you want to tell me? Did someone bothered you again?" She asks, sitting infront of me, leveling with my head.

"What is the sanction when two persons sleeps with each other?" I ask, Camila seems to be baffled, but she composes herself. "You mean sleep sleep, or sleep sleep." She asks, elongating and emphasizing the last sleep. Since i didn't have any proof that I wasn't sleeping with Treyton, but still technically sleeps, I answer both.

Camila, is shock, however there is relief in her movements. "Well, the former nothing, since you just slept, the latter, well, bye bye the chosen." She says, every word sends shiver down the spine. At first I got terrified. What if we got accuse of this? Will I have to leave the chosen? It is okay with me, but Treyton needs this. Whatever Amara and Marvelus is plotting, they need to stop. Even if I wanted this, I didn't want Treyton to go down with me.

Camila continues lecturing me, there were days when the lectures will bore me out, there were lectures that will make me not want to even blink, and today, she is lecturing about the success of the trainers had made the faction they belong to, be richer. However, if that's the case, i see the point why Kahlil wanted to win. I now feel sympathy with him.

The lecture ended, I went immediately to my room. Last night's sleep didn't do me any good, and Amara accusing us also took a toll on how I view my day. I lay on top of my bed. Staring at the unmove chair beside me. The one that Treyton slept into. I reach the arm and hold on to it. I didn't have the chance to ask him what he felt about my nightmares. I didn't even remember I used to have those. But I am glad that someone made me feel that even tho i am here alone, I am not really alone.

I stand up and wash my self, running every finger in my body. The words Amara says still echoes in my head. How come it is so easy for someone to tell that to someone? Didn't they know how a person might feel? I always knew that a person's mouth can be treated as a shot gun, shooting words into a person, not knowing that they had the capacity to kill someone emotionally.

I rinse myself, my tasks won't do themselves. Camila assigned readings to me, and it is twice than my everyday workload, Camila must have sense that there is something I needed to take my mind off. I put on a lime green colored T - shirt, the first shorts I could reach my hand into my drawer, takes a thick jacket before heading to the library. I am starting to miss my Family. I take my backpack and head out to the library, this is how my everyday life goes, lecture, study, eating, library, repeat everyday. I know I never wanted to win this, but I also didn't want to lie down in my bed thinking how badly I miss my family.

The first step into the library always have this sense of feeling that I can accomplish anything, the walls of the library are pale yellow, with massive bookshelves that are always cleaned. Not that kind of bookshelves where if you sweep your finger to, you'll accumulate dust. Although the library houses small people at time because we're only 10, the pale yellow walls gives you sort of a happy feeling. Not bright enough to blind you, but kinda helps you make sense that somehow studying will make you brighter.

"Staring at the walls eh?" I hear someone say from my behind. I turn around to see Alistair.

"You're here." I say, changing my eyes frok the walls to him.

"Yes, very unlikely, but I'm here." He replies, I turn around to see if he's the only one here.

"Treyton is eating dinner." He says, must have sensed that I was looking for him.

"You always study, and yet you do not want this, are you sure you're only saying that but in reality you really wanted this? He says. I narrow my eyebrow in confusion.

"You didn't want to admit you wanted this, your actions says the otherwise." He continues. Running his index finger to the book infront of him I watch how he repeats it.

"I only wanted to pour my energy into this, because if I didn't, my heart will only long for my family. I had nothing else to do. I wanted to put my mind into work, because if I didn't, my heart will only collapse." I say, I watch as he change his gaze from the corners of the book to my eyes. He was staring at them so deep, I begin to see why he seems so familiar.

Those eyes, they resembles my father. They didn't have the same color, they didn't have the same orbit shape. But they look at me the same way. My father always have this thought of me that if he didn't guide me, my curiousity, my outburts, my knowledge will end me. He looks at me the same way. He looks at me with caution. As if I am some kind of princess who's about to fall of the edge. Nobody would have pushed me. Because I jumped myself.

I hear the door open, the door charm creates this serene sound of chime. Alistair and I look at it and it opens to Treyton. He replies with a smile before heading to our table.

"Hey! You're here!" Treyton says, even surprised to his reaction, he changes it. "I mean, ah, yeah, of course you're here! How are you?" He says, lowering his body on our table to reach Alistair and I.

"I'm all good." I reply. All of a sudden I remember that after my nightmare incident, We didn't have the time to actually talk about it.

"Okay, that's good to hear. I'm going to my table. Happy studying." He says, packing his things before heading to the table behind Alistair.

Alistair looks at me, I stare back to read his expression. He composes himself before speaking, "Uh, Your room is exactly beside mine. Therefore if Amara reports you for misconduct, I will stand witness. I know about your nightmares. I heard them. I just didn't have the guts to go inside like Treyton. Why would I? I treated you wrong."

He fixates his eyes on the pile of books infront of him. I continue to stare. My nightmare was that loud? I turn my back on my own readings as well. I didn't know if I felt relieved, but I know I didn't exactly want to let Alistair know about my nightmare. The last thing I want is to have him know. He was right, he used to treat me wrong, how could I trust him now?

The next morning, instead of waking up to the sun rays, I wake up to weeping. No, wailing. I can hear as it echoes to the corridor. I don't know where it came from but I know it was from a female. "Let me go. Please, Let me go." I open my eyes, she then wails again. I started to recognize the voice and the cries. It was Alessia.

"Please she needs to see me please." She says, with every word she lowers her voice. She sounded desperate rather than pleading. I stand up, head towards the door. I see Alessia on the floor, with Alistair supporting her upper body with the use of his arms, Treyton on the floor, I stare at Alessia's blood shot eyes. She stares at me before returning her gaze to Treyton.

"Let me go." She say, weakly. Before passing out. Good thing, Alistair already had supported her trunk, she catches Alessia without difficulty. Alistair picks up Alessia, give me a one quick stare before going inside Alessia's room. I stare at Treyton. Looking for some answers. I know one of us will had to breakdown eventually. I just didn't expect Alessia to be the first one.

"She received the news. Her mother got killed last night." Treyton says, killed. The word echoes in my mind. Not just of any natural cause. Killed. Her mother got killed. Someone, a person, took away her mother's life. I stare at Treyton. Waiting to clarify that what I heard is not right. Nobody ever got killed in our faction. Nobody...

"Why." I say, I remember my nightmares, I remember how I force myself to ask that word. I had so many questions. But that is the only word I can force myself to ask right now. Everything hurts, imagine what Alessia feels right now.

"Robbers." He says, calmly. As if it wasn't news to him. "Faction 9, is swarmed with robbers. Not all could gladly accept their faith in riches, one of them are robbers."

I start to notice how different our faction are to others. It pains me. How come I never knew this things existed? I didn't know how shallow I was. Why didn't the trainers do anything about this? The bell rings. Everybody seems to be unbaffled. Nobody even reacted. They just went to their own room. I didn't have the strength to continue on with mine. Knowing someone's mother died tonight.

"Go get ready for your classes. Alessia is breaking down because she wasn't allowed to leave centrus. She wasn't allowed to see her mother. There is nothing you could do." Treyton says, before going inside his room as well. My heart sank even further.

Her mother just died, and she isn't allowed to leave the centrus? Why? I can feel my body collapsing as well. I tighten my knees grip. Instead of going inside my room, I went to Alessia's.

I see Alistair on the edge of the bed, Alessia is tied on her hands and feet to the frame of her bed. My first instinct was to untie her. I run to her bed. Alistair stops me. "Trust me. I didn't want to tie her. But she keeps jumping over the walls." He says, tigthening his grip on my arms. Only then I see the bruises, the wounds, even the big cut on her shoulder.

"We need to stop her from hurting herself. She cannot continue jumping on the walls, no matter how hard she tries, she will only get knock back here." He says, I can feel his grip loosen.

"Is there something we could do?" I ask, then sits also at the edge of the bed. He shakes his head.

"Cynthia said, nobody can ever leave the centrus, as long as the chosen is on going." He reply. I can feel the heaviness in his words. I never thought the facilitators could be this mean.

"Alessia can only leave if she forfeits her chance of winning, in which she can't, if her mother just got killed, she needs this. She needs this more." Alistair says, brushing his hands on Alessia's hair. Alessia's eyes open. She notices the ropes on her, she tries to break free. She looks at Alistair.

"Why are you doing this to me? I need to go! My mother needs me!" She says, I see a drop of tear rolls down from her right eye to her cheeks. "Even if I had to climb the walls over and over again, I won't stop. My mother needs me!" She says, before biting the ropes in her wrist. Alistair pulls her hand away from her.

"You don't know what's there! There could be another wall, what will you do? You don't know Faction 7's map, you could die trying!" Alistair says. His words echoes in my mind. She didn't know but I did.

I go near her. Trying to hold her. I wanted to say I know. Dion told me. "Stop holding me!" Alessia snaps to me. I ignore her. She just lost her mother. She's unstable.

"I said, you can't touch me!" Alessia says, I start to notice, her anger is getting more and more deep. I look at Alistair for answers.

"The robbers came from your faction." He says. How may times can my heart drop today?

"You know about all those reseachers who succeeded? But how about those who didn't?" Alistair asks me. I don't have any answer so I let him speak.

"Those who didn't succeed gets thrown to Faction 9. Instead of being a faction 7 researchers they become faction 9's, but since researches doesn't really thrive on their land, they become robbers instead. Robbing from people who have stable jobs, like Alessia's mom." Alistair says. Now I can feel my tears forming. I am lacking in too many ways. Why are this things happen? Is there much more I have to know? Why are we blessed? Why is my faction ruining other faction?

"Get away from me! You're faction didn't do any help, and now you want to win this? You are already blessed without you trying, you're a robber! You don't have to do research and fail, you are already robbing people chance who needs it the most! Get away from my room!" Alessia says, before spitting on me. I move backward, but it wasn't enough to not reach me. It did.

Alistair hurriedly stand up and picked up some tissue. Everyone have been treating me like the faction I came from defines me. I start to think it really defines me. I shrug off the tissue he gives me. I don't need to be taken care of.

I walk out of her room. I am not expecting anyone to follow me. But I kinda hoped someone did. I go to my room. I lock the door and sits down to the floor, my back lying on the door. I don't know which is more breaking me. The life I believed barely existed, or my eyes trying to open up when I have it closed for some time.

I let out a huge cry. This is not what I want, I never wanted any of this. I would have settled being Father's servant rather than knowing all of this. My heart could not carry it's weight.

I rest my head on my knees. I try to empty my mind. Father always taught me, whenever I arise with a problem, and emotions is clouding up inside me, I take a breath, I try to clear my mind. I only ask questions that could end up solving the main reason why I wanted to cry.

Is there anything I could do to help Alessia? I ask myself. I know the centrus from a brief moment when Dion made me see the outside. But I can't really take that as a Yes. It is more complicated than that. I don't know what else to do.

Am I willing to go against odds to help Alessia? I ask myself. That stuck me for a moment. I know it is a yes, but executing a plan will only make it difficult.

But it is supposed to be difficult, nothing is easy. I tell myself. I can feel my eyes getting heavier, I know that even if I prevent myself from crying, I know I will have to cry.

I feel my shoulders shake. There you have it, I am bailing my eyes out. Everything I ever believed in... Everything I didn't know. I am filled with protection, that makes the wound hurt more...

I hear my phone ring, I stop my shoulders from shaking, I compose myself. I wipe the tears in my eyes using my fingers, the absense of cloth between my skin hurts my eyes. But my heart hurts deeper to even notice the friction between them. I force myself to stand up. I see Dion's caller ID flashes on my phone. I take a deep breath before answering.

"Dion." I say, I try to sound as calm as possible, but the hiccup after the last syllable of his name gave it away.

"Why are you crying?" He asks, I notice the change of background noise from loud to serene quiet. I notice as his footsteps become louder.

"Nothing. Why did you call?" I lie, Dion always rushes to me whenever he knows I am crying, I know he can't rush into my place right now, but this burden is hurting me too much. I don't know if I can let him handle such burden...

"Nila." He says my name. My name in which he choses to call me. I can feel my self crying again. His words reminded me of home. His voice reminded me of what I am, of what I used to be. How badly I wanted to go back. How badly I never thought it will be like this.

"Ernilla San Diego, You know I won't drop this call until I know what you are crying about!" I hear him raise his voice. There is no point in lying now. He will know. I know he will.

"I miss my Family." I say, which is not a total lie. I do miss everything.

"I know your snot since we were five. It is deeper than that." He says. I miss Dion. I miss everything. Funny how I am in Faction 7's land but it feels more. It feels far. I am afraid of anything.

"The chosen is too much. I have to study everything, and now I have to sympathy with one of the contenders. She lost a family member and she can't even go home." I say, completely cutting the mistreatment I received, not saying about anything with regards the faction 7. I didn't want Dion to know. I tell him almost anything but not this.

I hear a pause on the other line. I hear Dion breathing. I hear him sigh.

"I guess right now is I have to tell you. I didn't want to. But I can't let this pass through." He says, I don't know what he meant, and the sighs aren't helping as well.

"Since the chosen started, I am trying to figure out how to take you out of there." He says, I can sense he lowered his voice. I stand up.

"Elaborate." I say, trying to find a pen and paper which I kinda hoped I will be needing.

"The walls, open, whenever there is someone who is leaving. And to be specific, A contender must leave." He says, His voice is completely lowered. As if trying to avoid any possible eavesdropping. I wrote everything he says.

"The walls will open for an hour, to give way for the leaving contender. And what defines a leaving contender is that, that person must forfeit the game." He continues. I write the word forfeits. I don't know anyone who can voluntarily forfeit the game. I would have. But not now. I wanted to know why everything is like this. Not unless I change everything, I will be here.

"Are you saying I forfeit the game?" I ask, maybe him asking will make me forfeit the game. Maybe him giving the idea will make me actually want the idea.

"No, I don't want to impose any idea." He says, drawing the line.

"Okay, if someone leaves, what happens then?" I ask, I wanted to obtain as many informations as I can, If I am selling this plan to others, I needed information.

"The north walls will be open, that's good for an hour, since the trainer will award them certificates, or if they got thrown out, sanction." He clarifies. So, It is better to forfeit the game than to be thrown out.

"How do I sneak out, when they are also at the north gate?" I ask. Please don't tell me secret tunnels, I have enough revelations already.

"We only wanted to ease the lock, so we can hack the south gate. The awarding is distracting enough to let us work our way to the—gate." He says. I hear a pause. Suddenly, the weight of this attempt is pushing me down.

Hack? When did Dion learn how to hack?

"You learned how to hack? Why didn't I know?" I say, trying not to sound like a mad girlfriend or a jealous competitor.

"I wanted to see you, even when the competition is ongoing, I didn't want you to end up being strangers to me." He say, then let goes a chuckle. It sounded real. However, the reason was not deep enough to make me believe.

"I will call you back." I say, staring at the piece of paper infront me. I fix myself. I needed to help Alessia go outside the walls. I don't know how else she would reach her faction. But as my father would have say, One step at a time.