Chapter40

#Chapter40

Lily POV

Max came over and by that time I had finished prepping everything. Max helps me paint the walls all white and when we are done, we wait for the paint to dry. But seeing that the weather is pretty overcast today, I knew it would take hours before I could start painting the wall that Damien had let me have to do as I pleased with. Max eventually went home, but the Alpha didn’t return till nightfall. All day I was left to my thoughts. Questions I wanted answers to. Damien has always been up in my business, yet he never answers my questions about himself. And with all the stuff going on with his mother just made me question his past more. Then there was the entire heat to worry about, Kade, my father’s death, everything just weighing me down and I was becoming homesick. I was watching TV when I heard the front door open. His voice echoing throughout the house.

/"Lily?/" He sings out.

/"In here/" I call out to him before I hear his footsteps walk around the corner and into the lounge room. He leans over the couch and kisses the top of my head. /"Natalia put your dinner in the oven/" I tell him, turning my attention back to the TV.

/"I already ate, sorry I took so long/" He said before flopping down on the lounge next to me and tugging me to him. He puts his face in the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply.

/"What’s wrong?/" He asks when I don’t respond to his affection.

/"Nothing, I just want to go home/" I tell him before pressing the power button and turning the TV off.

/"This is your home Lily/" He says confused.

/"No, my actual home. You know where you kidnapped me from/" I tell him and I hear him growl low, it rumbling through his chest.

/"Why?/" He asks, not even trying to hide his confusion.

/"To see my family, to grab some things from my old pack house/" I tell him.

/"Maybe in a few days when things settle down, we can go for a day or two. I can’t be away from the pack at the moment/" He says stretching.

/"I can go by myself, it isn’t that far of a drive/" Plus it would be nice to be away from everyone even if it is only a few days. Give me time to think.

/"No, Lily. You’re not going anywhere without me/" I roll my eyes before getting up. He grabs my wrist, tugging me down and onto his lap before wrapping his arms around me. I push on his chest.

/"Just hear me out, please/" He says, kissing my hair. I slump against him, knowing it is no use and will just turn into an argument. I can’t be bothered even arguing at the moment, I feel deflated.

/"In a few days, I promise I will take you. But please don’t try to leave. Kade is out there and so is my mother. What if they see you leave and attack while no one is with you?/" He asks, making me sigh. He is right. It probably wasn’t the best time to leave the Pack, but that didn’t stop me longing for freedom.

/"Fine, I will wait/" Damien pushes me back on the lounge before moving between my legs, leaning his weight down on me. Damien kisses me softly before deepening the kiss. When I feel his hands roaming, I push on his chest, making him sit up. He groans, annoyed.

/"Why? We need to finish the mating process; I know you want to. Why do you keep denying me?/" He says frustrated.

/"I told you why, just drop it Damien/" I tell him getting up. Damien gets off the lounge before walking out slamming the front door behind him making me flinch. Walking up the stairs, I climb in bed. Layla coming forward instantly, her voice ringing loudly in my head.

/"What’s wrong, Lily? You have been quiet all day and keeping your walls up. You were fine earlier until you found out about Damien’s mother?/" She asks.

/"I’m just tired, and everything is going wrong/" I tell her. Layla continues to try to pry, but I push my walls up. Layla keeps pestering me though, so I hop up. Walking down the stairs, I go to the kitchen looking for something to drown her out. Opening the fridge, I see Damien’s beers. I pop the cap before downing the bottle and grabbing another. Half an hour later, I have drunk six and am feeling a little woozy when Damien walks in naked through the back door and I can tell he went for a run. He walks over to the fridge and I lean on the counter watching him.

/"Lily, you know I don’t like you drinking/" He says looking back at me. I shrug, finishing the bottle, when I hear him sigh before grabbing two more out and handing me one.

/"That’s it no more after that one/" He says, giving me a pointed look before taking the top off his one eyeing me.

/"What’s going on with you?/" He asks curiously.

/"Nothing, Layla is bugging me,/"

/"About the entire mating process or your weird mood?/" He asks.

/"Both/" I tell him honestly. I knew Layla wanted to finish the mating process, but she would not force me, she understood my reasons.

/"I’m just in a weird mood/" I tell him while walking out of the kitchen.

Damien follows me upstairs, before turning the shower on and walking back out. /"I can put you in a better mood/" He says, walking over to me still naked and standing in front of me. I raise an eyebrow at him when he stands in front of me with his junk in my face.

/"Tempting but no thanks/" I tell him, he walks off hopping in the shower, I lay back down on the bed feeling a little tipsy.

Damien walks out before going into the walk-in and I hear him groan. My lips turned up slightly. Earlier, when I got the washing off the line with Natalia, I just jammed it in the draws.

/"Lily/" He groans, I hear him pulling everything from the draws, he walks out with a pair of shorts on and an armful of clothes. He dumps them on the bed. I watch as he folds, and I sit up to help him. Folding one of his shirts, he snatches it from my hands in frustration and refolds it.

/"You know you would make an excellent housewife. Maybe we should switch places. I will be Alpha and you Luna/" I tell him, and he raises an eyebrow at my words before shaking his head.

/"Maybe learn to clean up after yourself and I won’t have to/" He says, grabbing a pair of pants and folding them neatly.

When he finishes, he puts them away and I just let him go. No matter if I help, he will just rearrange anything I do. Damien comes out before shoving my legs apart and lying between them. I raise my knees getting ready to kick him off, but he just folds his arms over my hips and props his chin on them watching me. I brush my fingers through his hair, and he closes his eyes.

/"Are you going to tell me what’s eating at you?/" He asks. I roll my eyes at him and go to move when he holds me in place by pushing his weight down on my hips.

/"Everything/" I tell him. He seems to think for a second. Before he speaks, I ask him a question.

/"What did your mother do?/" His eyes snap to mine.

/"That’s what you have been wondering all day, your emotions have been way off. Darian has been pestering me all day about it/" I nod, and he sighs.

/"Nothing bad like you are probably thinking,/"

/"Then what, Tabitha said she was worse than your father/"

/"My mother never beat me, Lily./"

/"Then what did she do, and how did you get all those scars?/"

I trace my fingers over the one that wraps around his shoulder and he shivers. He sighs before answering.

/"She used to seek me out, I would run and hide, my father would become enraged and beat her if I weren’t there. Mum would come find me; promise she would help me. She almost seemed like an actual mother in those moments. She’d hug me and comfort me and I always fell for it. Then she would hand me over to him. Tell me I had to protect her, that it was my job as the next Alpha to protect the Luna. That if I took her beatings, she would love me, basically. That it was my duty as her son, that I owed it to her. Guilt me into coming out of hiding or returning home just so my old man would focus on me instead of her. Then when he was done with me, she would come in, patch me up and tell me it was my fault that, if I helped her more around the house, or was a better son my father wouldn’t hate me/"

Layla was growling in my head. She was furious with his mother. Wanted to kill her for what she did. A mother’s first instinct should be to protect her kids, not force them to be a punching bag. I didn’t understand how she could look at her own son and subject him to that and not try to protect him.

/"Don’t cry Lily, I am fine. I’m here, aren’t I. Still alive./" He says. I hadn’t even realised I was crying till he brushed my tears away. I should comfort him, yet here he was, the one wiping my tears. This was the most he really spoke of himself or his mother. I knew he had a dark past. Everyone knew. Now though, I kind of understood why he was a neat freak. Not only was it a sense of control, but an old habit.

/"What about your scars, they look like cuts?/" I tell him looking at his chest, you could just make them out under his tattoo’s. Damien’s back was littered with them all the way to his waist, long jagged lines trailing over his back like a map.

/"I was ten/" My stomach dropped just by hearing how young he was. At ten I was still playing with barbie dolls while he was being tortured.

/"My father beat me up pretty bad, and I left, escaping the pack determined to live as a rogue. Mum tracked me down and dragged me home kicking and screaming. My father was having a pack meeting, the entire pack was there. I remember seeing Tabitha as she came running over crying. I didn’t understand why at first. Her mother came over and pleaded with my father before removing her. I didn’t understand what was going on. My mother dragged me over to the flagpole that used to sit in the centre of town and handcuffed me to it. Then she just walked away, saying nothing at all. I didn’t know at the time but heaps of Pack members had tried to leave the Pack, wanting to be free of my father. My father said that they should punish those who betray the Pack and try to leave and that even though, I was the Alpha’s son it wouldn’t reduce my punishment and that he would make an example out of me/"

/"Your father hurt you in front of everyone?/" I asked. Damien shook his head.

/"No, he made the pack do it, every single member that was old enough to hold the whip. Three days I was stuck to that flagpole. As soon as I would pass out, he would make them stop and wait for me to wake again,/"

/"The third day, he made a whip out of razor wire, said he wanted me to never forget, wanted the pack to never forget the repercussions of betraying him. Pack members refused; they hated the idea of hurting their next Alpha with a normal whip let alone a razor wire whip. My father forced them and killed those who refused. They stained the concrete with my blood, I prayed for death, prayed so hard. Then Darian awoke. His voice kept me conscious. I couldn’t shift, so I couldn’t heal. Darian kept telling me over and over that he would save me, that he would kill my father, that I just had to wait till I could shift, endure it a little longer and he would fix everything. My father handed Tabitha the whip. She refused every other day, refusing to hit me with it. She has a scar across her lower back for that refusal. I told her to just do it and she still refused, so my father hit her instead before her father threw himself over her, protecting her. I felt terrible, I was nearly dead and the only thing I could think about was saving them, saving my Pack and with Darian now awoken I knew I would./" Damien sat up readjusting himself before kissing my fingers that were touching his cheek. He didn’t seem upset considering I was a crying mess, like he came to terms with it.

/"So, when I shifted for the first time when I was thirteen, not long after I actually met you for the first time. I started training with the patrol guards in secret. They wanted to see him fall. Then one night he beat me again and Darian lost it. Forcing the shift and ripped him to pieces. He wanted to kill my mother too, but I begged him not to. So, he didn’t. After that I took over and became angry, which is where the rumours come from. I hated Alpha’s. Wanted to kill them, convinced they were all like my father. My father’s Beta taught me how to run the Pack until I was seventeen, so when he retired the job went to his son/"

I didn’t know what to say after hearing all that, but I wanted to know so badly. Knowing now, though, I kind of wish I didn’t. I couldn’t imagine living through that, I know Aria lived through some horrific shit from my father protecting me. But what his father and mother did was disgusting. I don’t even think my father back then would have been that cruel.

/"What?/" He says when I say nothing. I shake my head and I can feel Layla pacing in my head. She wanted to kill his mother and get revenge for him.

/"Well, you make my childhood sound so much better after hearing that/" I tell him, using sarcasm. I honestly didn’t know what to say and sarcasm was my go-to when I was left speechless. Damien chuckled softly.

/"It wasn’t all bad, I have some good memories/" He says.

/"Like what?/"

/"They might upset you because they involve Tabitha,/" he says. I used to hate Tabitha but now after knowing everything and how things had changed between her and I. I was grateful he had her, that he had one real friend who stuck by him and I could now understand why he was involved with her and I actually felt bad that I caused the rift between them.

/"I want to hear them, Tabitha isn’t so bad,/"

/"She isn’t?/" He said mockingly. I slap his shoulder.

/"She has grown on me; I understand her better now. Besides, I have to like her now she named her daughter partially after me/" I tell him. Damien smiles before lifting himself up and placing his arms on either side of my face as he moves closer. He brushes his nose on mine and I kiss his lips.

/"I love you, Lily, and no I am not just saying that, so you sleep with me, but I won’t say no if you want to/" He says chuckling softly.

I smile before kissing him and pulling back. /"I love you too, but you can wait another night,/"

/"So tomorrow?/" He asks hopefully.

I laugh before pushing him off.

/"Where are you going?/" He asks when I get up.

/"To shower, you can join me if you like/" His eyes light up before I see him get up following me to the shower.