913. Chapter 913

After In Plane Sight

Episode 7.21

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: It's not up in the air whether I own Castle or not. Rating: K Time: See above.

Kate Beckett rested her head on her husband's shoulder. "It's a shame that Alexis got sick and couldn't come to London with you, but I'm happy I could come with you. I was surprised that Gates gave me the time off."

"She was probably just happy to get rid of me for a couple of days." Castle said, darkly.

"Come on, Castle. She's really warmed up to you. She almost likes you."

Before Castle could reply, the plane hit a pocket of turbulence and then another.

"Are you okay, Kate?" He asked quickly.

"Yes. How about you?"

"I'm fine. In fact, I've learned a trick while traveling. As long as the flight crew is smiling, everything is okay. It's when they stop smiling that things are bad."

Kate looked over the seat in front of her at the flight crew. "Castle, not only aren't they smiling, but one of them is crying and another is downing those little bottles of liquor like….there's no tomorrow. Wait. The pilot's coming out of the cockpit wearing a parachute." Beckett undid her seatbelt. "I'd better see if I can help."

Castle followed her. "It's probably nothing, but I'll come, too."

Beckett showed her badge to the crew. "Detective Kate Beckett. NYPD, Is there a problem?"

"Yes." Said the pilot, taking off her parachute. "The Air Marshal on this flight is missing. A Mr. Fudd. We've looked for him, but we can't find him."

"How through a search was it?" Beckett asked. "I didn't notice anything."

"We just checked where the passengers were sitting. I was about to order a more thorough search, starting with the overhead bins and carryon luggage."

Kate gave her a quizzical look. "The overhead bins and the carryon luggage? That seems a bit unlikely."

"Not at all." Said an Arabic looking flight attendant, whose name tag identified her as Ms. Jihadi. "Mr. Fudd worked his way through college as a circus performer. He was a contortionist, billed as Bendo the Magnificent. He'd often hide in the overhead bins or in a carryon."

"Okay, my husband and I will help you."

The flight attendants explained over the intercom that a piece of airline equipment had accidently been stowed in one of the overhead bins and that the crew and two volunteers would be searching for it. Kate and two flight attendants were on one aisle and Rick and Ms. Jihadi were on the other.

Rick opened a bin and was overwhelmed by a brown blur that attacked him furiously. Rick defended himself as best he could until his attacker stopped hitting him."

"Ere now, mate. Don't be upsetting my Joey like that." Complained an Antipodean voice.

"Your Joey?" Beckett said, coming to Castle's aid.

"That's right, luv. This is Joey, me boxing kangaroo. 'E's the junior lightweight champion of Oz. I'm takin' 'im to London to fight against some bloody Pommy."

"Sir," said Ms. Jihadi." Joey will have to travel in the cargo hold. We can't have animals travelling with the passengers."

"Try that an' I'll have me solicitors on you. Joey is worth millions. If 'e gets sick or hurt, I'll sue the bloody airline and I'll end up owning it."

Leaving the flight attendant to argue with the kangaroo owner, Castle moved on down the aisle. He was half way through first class when he saw a carryon bag on the floor move.

Castle looked at the man whose bag it was. "Sir, your bag just moved. I'll have to inspect it." When he did so, a bear cub jumped out and grabbed hold of his arm, shredding a bespoke suit coat. "Get this bear off of me!" He yelled.

"Get you off of my bear!" Demanded the man. "Do you know who I am? Am Boris Badenov, Russian oligarch, livink in Londongrad and plottink, I mean plannink, my return. Just ask my woman. Tell clumsy would be bear thief, Natasha."

An attractive, dark haired woman in a purple dress nodded. "I am Natasha Fatale. We keep bear around in case moose and squirrel show up."

Castle grimaced and tried to pull the bear off his arm. "We're thirty nine thousand feet over the Atlantic. And you're worried about a moose and squirrel?"

"See how well bear work?" Boris said, proudly.

Castle shook his head and moved to the next bin. Oddly enough, the occupants of then next seats strongly resembled a moose and squirrel. But, since the squirrel was wearing a soft aviator's helmet with goggles, Castle thought nothing of it.

Finally finishing with the overhead bins, Rick and Kate met with the flight attendants. "We found nothing." Kate said.

"I've noticed something odd. The newlyweds in seventeen C and D disappeared. I think they're in the first class bathroom." That was Debbie, the woman who had been downing the little bottles of booze.

"Castle and I'll go check."

They stood on either side of the door and Castle wrenched the door open. Immediately, there was a female scream and Kate slammed the door. "They were both nude, Castle. And they had a video camera. They're making porn!"

The cabin crew told them to come out as soon as they got dressed, and Beckett interrogated them.

"We used to be hedge fund managers, but when the economy tanked, we had to find some way to make money, so making videos of us joining the mile high club seemed a natural. This is the first time we've ever been caught."

Since they had bigger problems, Kate let them go back to their seats.

"Have you checked the hold?" She asked Ms. Jihadi.

"No. Should we?"

Rick and Kate went down the ladder to the baggage hold. Once down, Kate turned on her flashlight. As soon as she did, Rick saw he was confronted by a gigantic boa constrictor. He screamed.

"Please, don't hurt Dudley" The speaker was a scantily clad young lady who, in fact, we wearing only the boa constrictor. "I'm an exotic dancer and I use Dudley in my act. I had an idea for a new routine and slipped down here to try it out with Dudley."

"I'm afraid you'll have to put Dudley away and go back to your seat." As the woman dropped Dudley, Kate added. "And if you go near my husband before you get dressed, I'll have a new pair of snakeskin boots made in London." She put her hands over Rick's eyes until she was gone.

Ms. Jihadi came down as soon as the snake lady left. "I forgot to tell you something. The Saudi Arabian Women's National Camel Racing Team is down here and…."

Kate just barely pulled Rick out of the way as a dozen camels sped by to the ululations of several dozen Saudi women

"They need to be exercised regularly." Ms. Jihadi said.

Luckily, Rick and Kate looked out into the aisle before stepping out and avoided being trampled by a herd of stampeding elephants.

"A shipment to the London Zoo. I probably should have mentioned that to you."

"Are there any other animals lurking down here we should know about?" Kate demanded.

"No."

The words were no sooner out of Ms. Jihadi's mouth than a three foot wall of water sped down the aisle and knocked the three of them down.

"Then there is the tank with the dolphins in it. They do love to play. They're fish, not animals, right?" Jihadi asked.

Rick just shook his head, then took a deep breath. "There's no other kind of animal life of any kind down here?"

"No, not animal life, per se, but…."

"Castle!" Beckett screamed. "Help me!"

Rick saw that she was being pulled away by two vines wrapped around her wrists.

"There is the giant mutant Venus fly trap, but it's not an animal. I'll be right back with the fire axe."

Once Castle had freed Beckett, they headed for the stairs.

"The air marshal can find his own dammed self." Rick muttered under his breath.

As the three walked down the aisle, they heard a rhythmic clattering. "That sounds like an old fashioned typewriter." Rick said. "I'd recognize that sound anywhere."

They turned a corner and found a sight that amazed them.

"It's an infinite number of monkey's sitting at an infinite number of typewriters." Rick said, then went to look over a monkey's shoulder. "They seem to be writing the eighth season of some television show. A police procedural by the looks of it."

"Mr. Fudd isn't here. We've covered the whole hold." Ms. Jihadi said.

"We've found him." Debbie came down the stairs. "He was making out with the pilot in the cockpit. She was too embarrassed to tell us. He was actually hiding in the parachute pack she was carrying and she didn't even know it. Weird."

Once back in their seats, Kate leaned against Rick's shoulder. "Castle, I do want to join the mile high club with you, but let's go to Denver and do it there. I don't think I want any more excitement on airplanes."

"Denver it is."