80. Chapter 80

After Overkill and After A Deadly Game

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Really? Not mine. Rating: K+ Time: See above.

September 2014

Since he had been a child, Richard Castle loved to watch the sun rise over the ocean at the Hamptons, and he loved the tangy smell of salt water. But he had found that more than anything else, he loved to watch his beautiful wife. Castle propped himself up on one elbow and looked down on Kate. He smiled as he saw her chest rise and fall. After some five minutes of watching, Kate's eyes opened and she looked up at him.

"Castle, watching me like that is creepy." Her smile told him that perhaps she didn't mind creepy.

"It is not creepy. I'm just watching my beautiful wife and reflecting on how lucky I am to have you."

Kate stretched, then pulled Castle down beside her, kissing him lightly. "Luck was not involved, Mr. Castle."

"Then how come I feel like I just won the biggest and best lottery jackpot of all time?" He teased.

"Because you are a writer and you are blessed with a vast overabundance of imagination."

"So if it wasn't luck that brought you to me, what was it?"

She looked him in the eye, then smiled. "Do you remember when you proposed to me? What you said?"

"Sure, I said I couldn't imagine my life without you. And I meant every world of it."

"No before that."

"Okay, the part where I asked you to marry me?"

"No. Do you remember telling me that I didn't let anyone in? That you had to scratch and claw for every inch?"

"Okay, I do. So?"

"So we got together because in spite of the fact that I didn't let anyone in, you did scratch and claw and you fought for me for three plus years. Any sensible man would have given up on Kate Beckett as a lost cause."

"I have never claimed to be sensible." Castle said very seriously.

"You said that, not me." Kate winked at him. "But, I do need to let you in, to tell you so many things, so I'll start. Do you remember the first time you invited me up here to the Hamptons?"

"How could I forget? A dead guy in the swimming pool? Our own murder case?"

She shook her head. "No, not the first time I came here, but the first time you asked me."

"Sure. I was headed up here to write for the summer and you were off with Demming."

She shook her head again. "I broke up with Demming. I broke up with him so I could come to the Hamptons with you. I was going to tell you when I asked to see you outside the going away party and…"

"Oh, no! Crap! No! You were going with me and in walked Gina." Castle pulled Kate to him and held her tightly. "Kate, I am so sorry. I am so sorry, honey. I never knew…"

"There's no reason for you to apologize. What had I done to you for a year but belittle you, berate you, criticize you, complain about you, threaten to shoot you or break your legs? And then right in front of you I started going out with Tom Demming. I got exactly what I deserved. You broke my heart, Castle, and I deserved it. I had no reason to think that after all I did to you that you'd have any interest in me."

"I had nothing but interest in you, Kate."

"But you were leaving. Do you remember talking to Espo just before the party?"

May 2010

"Headed for the Hamptons for the whole summer, Castle? You have such a rough life."

"It's a tough, dirty job, but someone has to do it."

Espo laughed. "Maybe I should try writing? I'm ex-Special Forces and a homicide cop. I could do it. You've seen my writing in reports. What do you think?"

Castle frowned. "Writing? I've seen where you've cleaned your pen off on pieces of paper, but writing? No, never seen any of that."

Espo glared at Castle and then laughed. "Okay, maybe I deserved that. But tell me, was this really your last case?"

Castle nodded, looking serious. "Yeah. Time to move on, I think."

"Will you ever come back?"

"Sure, sure. I'll drop by sometime to see everyone. Let everyone know how I'm doing."

"But you won't come back and work with us?"

"You already have a replacement detective here. What do you need me for?"

"She likes you, you know."

Castle laughed. "If the last year has been Kate Beckett liking me, I don't want to see what it's like if she hated me. She isn't exactly in the running for the president of the Richard Castle Fan Club. " Castle became serious. "Look, Javi, she made her choice. I may be egotistical, but I'm not stupid. She was closer to Demming in a week than she had been with me the whole time we were together. Time for me to go."

"So, you're going to be all alone for the summer?"

"No, Gina's coming up to the Hampton's for the summer with me."

"Gina? You're ex?"

"Yeah, and my publisher. She'll keep me working. Among other things."

"We'll miss you, bro. Especially Beckett."

"Come on, Espo. You don't have to try to make me feel better. With Demming around, she'll never even notice I'm not around."

September 2014

"I did notice. I noticed every day that you were gone. But you were off with Gina, who at least could give you all the things I was incapable of."

"I love you. I love you. I love you, Katherine Houghton Beckett Castle." He whispered in her ear. "I never felt towards anyone else the way I feel for you. Not with Gina, not with Meredith, not with anyone else. Only Alexis and Martha come close, but it's different with you. I love you. And no one has ever given me what you've given me."

She smiled at him. "And I love you, too."

"I'll make it up to you, Honey. I will."

"Castle, you don't owe me anything for that summer. It was all my fault. I remember talking to Javi about you after you and Gina left."

May 2010

"You knew he was going off with Gina and you didn't tell me?" She said coldly.

Espo shrugged. "What's to tell? You knew he was leaving. What do you care who he goes with? You're with Demming now."

"Did it ever occur to you that I might be interested?"

"No. Not at all. Like Castle said, it's not like you're the president of the Richard Castle Fan Club. What did you expect him to do, Beckett?"

"Sorry." She said." Just forget it, Javi. It's okay." Castle loves irony. How's this for irony? I am a huge Richard Castle fan. Not just a fan of his books, but I'm a fan of the man as well. All I had to do was say a few god damned sentences and I'd be with him right now. But I was too afraid. I lost Castle because I'm a coward. Tough Detective Kate Beckett is a coward.

"Any way, he said he'd come back." Espo said.

"To work with…us?"

"No, just to say "Hi".

September 2014

"You are not a coward. You never have been. You're the gutsiest person I know."

She shrugged and rested her head against his chest. "You have your opinion and I have mine."

"I'm still going to make it up to you."

She frowned and shook her head. "Rick, it's not your fault. You have nothing to feel bad about. You did nothing wrong. I screwed up our relationship and I paid for it. End of discussion."

"No. I've known since I first met you how much pain you've been in. My mission in life is to remove that pain and replace it with joy and happiness. It doesn't matter what the cause of the pain is, my job is to remove it and replace it with joy."

She nuzzled against his chin. "Don't you know how much joy and happiness you've already given me?"

"Sure, but you can always use more."

"Then I should tell you about the rest of the summer."

June 2010

Kate Beckett took a sip of her coffee. In spite of being the same coffee from the same coffee shop that Castle had always gotten her coffee from, it wasn't the same. It was definitely bitterer. In addition, the coffee was lukewarm at best. She looked over at the break room at the coffee machine that Castle had bought for them. Did he buy it for the team, or for me? She wondered. I've only used the machine a few times since he's been gone. Like so many things, it makes me think of him.

She saw Ryan and Esposito grab their coats. "We're off to CSU. They have something for us." We'll be right back." The Irish detective said over his shoulder.

Kate looked around. Captain Montgomery was on a conference call with One Police Plaza, and the only other detective was at the other end of the bullpen, facing away from her. She quickly took out her copy of the New York Ledger and turned to the Society section. There! A page and a half of wedding announcements. She scanned the photos and the names quickly. There was no ruggedly handsome author and blonde ex-wife. She breathed a sigh of relief. She read Page Six and found no mention of Castle, nor was he mentioned elsewhere in the section.

She tossed that section in the trash and looked at the Entertainment section. There was nothing about Naked Heat or about Castle. She threw the rest of the paper away.

Why do I do this? What difference does it make if he marries Gina, or if he dumped her and has had a dozen girlfriends since then? He isn't coming back to me. I saw to that.

September 2014

"You thought I might re-marry Gina?" Castle asked, trying not to laugh.

"It's not like people have never married an ex-wife before."

"You should have called me. I'd have been back in the city before you hung up."

"No you wouldn't." She said softly.

"Whoa! What do you mean, I wouldn't? I was in love with you, Mrs. Castle."

"You're not the type who'd just leave Gina and rush off to another woman. You're a gentleman."

"Yeah, but I'm not stupid."

"And I'm not the type of woman who'll throw herself at another woman's man. You were a gentleman and respected my decision with Demming. You conceded defeat and left like a gentleman. I couldn't do any less for you."

"I don't care. You should have called."

"I didn't. But the summer went on."

July 2010

Esposito sat in what Beckett still considered as Castle's chair. "I've gone over the Reynoso financials, both personal and business. The guy is clean. Squeaky clean."

Kate nodded tiredly. "We never thought he wasn't, but we had to check. Now we're back to square one."

"Beckett, we've been here since five AM, how about we go to lunch. I'm starved."

Kate was about to say no when her stomach rumbled. She grinned. "I think that was a yes. Remy's?"

Espo and Kate took the elevator. It stopped after one floor and Tom Demming got on. He grinned at Kate. "Beckett. How's it going?"

Kate didn't reply and looked down at the floor. Demming smirked at Kate until the elevator stopped on the ground floor. "See you later, Beckett." We walked away as Kate and Espo headed for Remy's.

"What was that all about?" Espo asked when they were seated.

"Nothing." Kate said shortly, her face buried in the menu.

"You know, Beckett, things would go better if you didn't assume we're all dumb."

Kate's head shot up. "What the hell do you mean, Esposito? I have never called you or anyone else on my team dumb. Where's that coming from?"

"The thing with Demming in the elevator."

"What about it?"

"He said that you dumped him to be with Castle, but that Castle dumped you to be with his ex. Demming thinks it's very funny. We, Ryan and I, know what you looked like when Castle's ex walked in. And we know how you've felt since he left. We're not brain dead, Beckett. And we don't think it's a very funny joke like Demming does."

"I couldn't care less about Demming or what he thinks." She snapped.

"His smile wouldn't be so happy if he was missing a few teeth." Espo said quietly.

"No! Espo forget that. You'd lose your badge. And I don't need you to fight my battles for me."

"You should call Castle. It's been two months. He might like to know you're available."

"If Castle wants to know if I'm available, be can call me himself. I will not throw myself at him. And don't you dare call him. Promise me you won't. Promise, Javi."

"I promise. I won't call Castle."

September 2014

"I'm going to have to have a long talk with Esposito." Castle grumped.

"You will do no such thing!" Late shot back. "I made him promise."

"Sure, but you didn't make him promise not to tell Ryan and have Ryan tell me, did you? I work with words, Kate. I know how to use them."

Kate thought for a long time. "I wonder what would have happened if we had gotten together after the first year. I like to think we'd have stayed together."

"I'm sure we would have." Castle said quietly.

"We would have missed the whole Gina/Josh debacle. And I wouldn't have spent a year lying to you about knowing that you loved me. Castle, what kind of person lies to the man they love like that? What kind of a bitch am I?"

"As I may have mentioned a few thousand times before, this week, anyway, you're the woman that I love. And a woman who had been hurt very badly, starting when you were nineteen."

Kate nodded. "Thank you. But I finally worked up the nerve to tell you how I felt and I've been happier than I've ever been."

"Me, too."

"Did you think about me?"

"I thought about you a lot that summer, you know. Not as much as I might of. I kept seeing you with Demming in my mind's eye."

"I thought about you, too. A lot."

August 2010

Kate was drenched in sweat by the time she'd gotten back to her apartment. She stripped off her clothes and ran the shower. The temperatures had been over a hundred for the fourth day in a row and she had spent almost the whole day outside in the burning sun. Even when she got back to the precinct, the air conditioner was so overloaded, it was still hot inside. She stepped into the shower and relaxed. Gradually, she began to feel better. Finally, she stepped out of the shower and let the cool air from her air conditioner wash over her. She saw the reflection of her naked body in the mirror. Not bad. She thought. Not bad at all. It's odd. I went to bed with Demming without a thought. But I didn't care for Tom a tenth as much as I do for Castle. A tenth? Not a hundredth. But I've never done anything with Castle. I never kissed him. I never hugged him. I've never even held his hand. How could I be so cold to him? She knew the answer. Because Tom couldn't hurt me. If he dumped me, it wouldn't break my heart. Castle is different. He broke my heart when he left with Gina. The best I can hope for is that he'll want to come back and be my partner again, maybe my friend. I can't let myself think that he'll ever really care for me. I can't. But, God, I'd love to have him in my bed for just one night. She ran her hands lightly over her body, imagining what it would be like if Castle were with her. I want him so badly. If I could just…

But I can't.

September 2014

"I think we do all right in bed." Castle teased.

She smiled. "Yes, we do. So, what now?"

"Do you know what today is?"

She shook her head.

"It's International Be Nice to Kate Day. We're required to be nice to all women named Kate."

"So?"

"So, you take your shower and I'll make you your favorite breakfast. Then we'll go into town. Maybe I'll buy you a tee shirt, or a cute pair of shoes, or maybe…a yacht." He kissed her.

"You don't have to, Mr. Castle. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Rick got off the bed and pulled Kate up with him. She hugged him and then kissed him. She smiled. "We're it worth the trouble?"

"Eh…What trouble?"

Author's note: First, does anyone recognize the source of the last lines of dialogue in this story? It's from one of my favorite movies.

Secondly, as I've mentioned, I started this series after watching the audio commentary for A Deadly Affair. I thought I might write a couple of stories about what happened after various episodes. The next episode is A Deadly Affair and I've already written two "After A Deadly Affair" stories. And I've written a number set in Season Three. The point of this is that I'm not sure I can find anything more to write about for all of the episodes in Season Three and beyond. So you may not be getting the story a day you've been used to. Then again, who knows?