779. Chapter 779

After When the Bow Breaks

Episode 2.05

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: If I claimed to own Castle, I'd probably come crashing down, cradle and all. Rating K+ Time: See above.

Beckett slammed the door as she came into her apartment. It didn't slam hard enough and she almost slammed it again just for the hell of it. Then she settled down. She shook her head angrily and headed for her bedroom. She stopped and looked at herself in the mirror. What a waste. A dress and shoes I can't really afford. Hours wasted getting my hair done and having a manicure and a pedicure, and for what? So that arrogant prick can tell me that there isn't enough to the character of Nikki Heat for more than one book? Okay, so I was wrong about Nikki needing a better writer. Heat Wave is the best thing he's ever written. He's good enough to write Nikki Heat books until he's old and fat and ugly. The thought of an elderly, obese Castle chasing some young woman around to try to get her to let him sign her boobs made her laugh. If he wanted to he could write a dozen more Nikki Heats. But what does he want? The big payday! The fame and adulation of writing the next James Bond books. He'll probably want to sign all of the Bond girl's boobs.

She looked at herself in the mirror again. I'm good looking. Hell, I'm gorgeous. I'm a hell of a good cop and I do important work, but does Rick Castle care about solving crimes and trying to bring some closure to the people left behind after a murder? Does he care about the victims? Hell, no. Well Richard Castle can…

She was interrupted by a knock at the door. Who can that be? It can't be the precinct, they'd call. A neighbor?

She walked to the door. "Who is it?"

"It's me." Castle sounded drunk.

"What do you want?"

"I need to talk to you."

"I'm sorry. I don't need my boobs signed tonight or any other night. Go away."

"Beckett, I need to talk to you."

She opened the door part way, keeping the chain attached. "What?"

"Can I come in?"

"Are you drunk?"

He thought about that. "No, not drunk. A bit tipsy, maybe, but not drunk."

She opened the door. "Come in, say what you have to say and leave. I'm sure there are unsigned boobs out there."

"I came to apologize to you."

"After almost a year of annoying me you want to apologize now?"

He shook his head. "For the last year or whatever, I've tried to get you to enjoy life a little. Have fun and think outside the box. I'm not about to apologize for that."

"For what then?"

"For what I said tonight. There's a lot more to Nikki Heat than I could cover in one book. I could write a hundred books about her, about you, and never do more than scratch the surface."

"Then why don't you?" She asked, before she had quite realized what she'd said.

"You hate having me around. It wears on me after a while."

They stood there looking at each other for long seconds. Finally Kate spoke. "Sit down, Castle. You look like you're ready to fall over anyway."

Castle sat and they resumed looking at each other. Beckett spoke first again. "It's called social isolation or withdrawal. I was in therapy for a year trying to get over my failure to solve my mom's murder. He said he saw that in soldiers in combat. They avoided getting friendly with people because that made the pain of losing them when they got killed or wounded that much worse. I do that, sort of. Lanie is my best friend, practically my only friend. Ryan and Esposito….I do keep some social distance from them, but I don't know if I could handle it if anything happened to either one of them. The same with Montgomery." Kate took a deep breath and went on. "And that's why I try to keep you at a distance. If I let you be my friend, close friend, and something happened to you, or the relationship just went south…It would hurt. And after my mom's death, I just can't handle that kind of pain. I'm sorry."

Castle nodded. "I'm going to have to stick with you for the next murder."

"Why the next murder?"

"Because Paula will kill me when she finds out I'm turning down Bond to write more Nikki Heat."

"You're what?" Kate was shocked.

"How about that. I solved a murder for you before it was committed. Am I a help to you or what?"

"You want to stay with me?"

"How could I possibly leave you all alone and isolated? It's my duty to stay with you."

Kate felt that she had gone too far, but there was really no going back now. "Castle, you should go home. I have to go to work tomorrow, even if you don't. Are you driving?"

He stood up. "Nope. Car service. Waiting outside."

She stood up and walked him to the door, feeling much better. When he got to the door, he kissed the top of her head. "I do that to Alexis when we've had a fight. Am I forgiven?"

"Of course. Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow, Detective Beckett."

Rick Castle woke up slowly and felt the sunshine on his face. He had finally gotten Beckett to come to the Hamptons with him when Alexis was off at Princeton and Martha was in a play. Life was good. Then he heard the sound of crying. He sat upright and looked around him. "Beckett? What's wrong?"

"Go back to sleep, Castle."

"With you crying? No way. What is it?"

Instead of replying, Beckett got up and ran to the bathroom. Castle followed her, but the door was locked. "Kate?"

"Go away." Then he heard the sound of the shower and couldn't hear her crying.

"I live here. I won't go away."

Five minutes passed and Kate came out, still naked as was Castle. "My plan failed."

Castle frowned. "What plan?"

"I've been with you figuring that after you slept with me, you'd get tired of me and move on before I liked you so much that it would really, really hurt when you left. But you stayed with me and now…." Kate began to cry again.

Castle, shocked at seeing his tough as nails girlfriend cry, put his arms around her, only to have them batted away. "You've been trying to work up the courage to tell me something for two weeks now, Castle. I can tell. So I'll make it easy on you. I'm breaking up with you. You don't have to tell me it's over now. Please just let me leave with some shred of dignity."

Castle laughed and threw his arms around her even though she struggled. "Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate."

She stopped struggling at once. "You what?"

"I love you."

She slapped his chest. "And you put me through two weeks of hell because you couldn't figure out how to tell me that?"

"Beckett, even after being with you for all this time, I still have no idea where I stand with you most of the time. I was afraid you didn't love me, too. You do, don't you?"

Beckett glared at him. "You expect me to answer that after what you did to me?"

"Yes."

"Forget it. Maybe after breakfast I'll tell you."

"Promise?"

"I said maybe, Castle.'

And so they went to breakfast.