769. Chapter 769

After A Chill Goes Through Her Veins

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: We had a report that UCSBdad doesn't own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above

2009

"Castle! What are you doing?"

Rick looked up and tried not to look guilty. "I'm looking through the Sam and Melanie Cavanaugh murder files."

"Why? The case is over. The DA won't prosecute without something more and we have nothing." Beckett gave Castle an appraising look. "Unless you came up with something." Before he could speak she added. "Something reasonable."

He shook his head, smiling. "I was just interested in the case. So far, the murders we've worked on the victim was, well, if not totally innocent, at least not deserving to die and the killer thoroughly deserved to go to prison. This is different."

She frowned. "How is it different? Even if he was a killer, Sam did not deserve to be murdered. Punishment is the job of the State of New York. It's not up to private individuals."

"Yeah, but the idea of a vigilante dispensing justice in the old fashioned way appeals to me. Like Charles Bronson in the Death Wish movies, or maybe Eastwood as the Man With No Name. "Castle smiled. "Or better yet the Dirty Harry movies. Dirty Heat? Nikki finds out…"

Beckett grabbed the files away from him. "No! You're not going to make a murderer look like some avenging super hero. Ben Davidson is a murderer and I will not let you make him look like anything else."

Castle leaned back in his chair. "Ben Davidson is a murderer? And here I thought that people were innocent until proven guilty in a court of law." Castle looked around him. "Did I fall asleep and miss the trial or something?"

Beckett glared at him. "You know Ben Davidson is a murderer as well as I do. Do you care to deny it?"

Castle slowly shook his head. "No, you're right. Ben Davidson murdered his son in law in cold blood. But consider the circumstances, Sam had murdered…."

"No! I don't want to hear it. If this Nikki Heat is going to be a cop, and if she's anything like me, there will be nothing in the book glorifying a cold blooded killer. Do you understand?"

"Absolutely. Even if I ever make a murder suspect a better person than the deceased, I'll make sure that he goes to court and explains his motivations to a judge and jury. But, you do know that people do get away with murder that way."

Beckett just nodded, then got up and headed to the break room and the espresso machine. After a second, Castle got up and followed her.

They stood together making their coffees. Beckett finally spoke. "Is my mom's murder going to be in your book?"

"Nikki's mother will have been murdered. But, and this is a spoiler alert, she's a CIA agent, working undercover. Of course Nikki doesn't know that. People don't go around telling everyone, "Hey, I'm a CIA agent.", kindly don't tell anyone. Is that okay with you?"

Beckett snorted. "Would it make any difference to you if it wasn't?"

"Actually, it would. In spite of what you may think, I didn't come here solely to bother you. I want to write a book. I want to show people what the NYPD and its detectives are really like, and they're pretty spectacular. And I find that I get a sense of satisfaction from helping you solve murders. I did help, right? Suggesting we go to the crime scene and all?"

Beckett knew she should lie to him, tell him that she would have thought of everything he thought of, but she wasn't a liar. "Yes, you were a help." She looked over at Castle. He was beaming with pride. "What did I tell you about gloating?"

"Right. No smiling or gloating." He managed to reduce his smile down to a grin. "And I don't want to hurt you. I do see the pain that you live with. I saw it in this case where the police involved didn't try. I know that hurts you. I will not hurt you, Beckett. If I do, tell me. Okay?"

She smiled at him. "Okay." She checked her watch. "Time to go home. Night Castle."

"Tomorrow, Detective."

"That's right. You don't say good night, do you?"

"Like I said, tomorrow is more hopeful."

"Tomorrow, Castle."

2010

"Are you going to have that last hot dog?" He asked.

She shook her head. "No you take it. But I get the last of the Thai then, okay?"

"Sure." He grabbed the last hotdog and opened a package of mustard with his teeth. He noticed that she chewed slowly and stared off into space. He had to ask. "Something wrong? About Coonan? I'm sorry. I really am. If it's bothering you, you know, we can talk about it. Or not talk about it. Whatever."

She said nothing for a long while. "Do you remember the Melanie Cavanaugh murder?"

He was confused by the question. "Sure. What about it."

"You wanted to make Nikki some kind of Dirty Harry vigilante with a badge. I blew up at you for suggesting that Nikki or I would ever do anything like that."

"Whoa? You aren't talking about Coonan are you? He had a gun and it was pointing it at someone. And if memory serves me, he was pointing it at me. You had every right to shoot him. I'm happy you shot him. Well, maybe not happy. I'm happy I'm alive, and I do wish you could have just wounded him so he'd talk, but on the whole…"

"Castle, you're babbling. It's not your best trait."

Castle stopped talking and waited for Beckett to speak. It took a while, but she did. "Just for a second, I enjoyed it. Coonan, the man who killed my mother, was dead and I killed him. No interrogation, no investigation, no grand jury, no trial, no appeals. Just one shot to his heart and he was dead. And rotting in hell. I never had to watch him as he tried to trade what he knew about the Afghan narcotics trade for a lighter sentence. I never had to had to listen to his attorneys try to spin this as a vendetta by an out of control cop or sit on the witness stand and justify my involvement in my own mother's murder investigation. And for that one brief second, I understood exactly how Ben Davidson felt and I agreed with him one hundred percent. I wanted revenge, not justice."

"And what happened next?" Castle asked.

"I tried to save him. You know that."

"And you cried. I know that too. So, Detective Beckett, you were human. You didn't walk over and shoot him when you found out he'd lied about this Rathborn. You confronted him. You didn't shoot him when he had a gun on me. You shot him when you had no choice. And for one brief second, you were happy you did. Hell, I'm still happy you did. I'll be happy for the rest of my life. Not just because you saved my life, but because Coonan deserved to die. You were happy for a brief second, like anyone would be, and then you acted like a good cop. Not just a good cop, but the best cop in New York. Maybe the best cop in the world. Don't beat yourself up over this."

She smiled at him. "You're not such a bad guy, you know, Castle. Not that you can't drive me crazy, because you do. But there are things about you…" She left the rest unsaid. She pushed the nearly empty cartons of food away. "But now I have work to do. The report on Coonan won't write itself."

"No, I'm taking you out for a drink. You need a break and a drink."

"You think so?" She challenged.

"I know so."

"Let me get my jacket."

2017

She crawled into bed with her husband and slid into his arms. "I had my last medical review today. I don't have to go back for any more."

"Is it a problem? I noticed you didn't talk about it until now."

"Not a problem, exactly."

"What is it, exactly?"

"Because of all my wounds I can retire now on disability and actually get a little more pension than I'd get if I waited until I had my twenty in."

Castle ran his hand over her cheek. "We don't need the money, you know."

She giggled. "I know, silly. But the chief came and talked to me, very unofficially. They're not happy with the way I handled Loksat."

"You took down a terrorist who was using the CIA for his own ends and they're not happy with that?"

"No. The chief said I shouldn't have gone all rogue and done this all by myself. With the help of a certain ruggedly handsome man, of course."

"I never thought of Vikram as ruggedly handsome." Castle said softly.

Kate slapped his chest. "The chief was right. I did go totally rogue and became Kate Beckett, one woman vigilante army, out to stop Loksat."

"So just tell them you don't want to retire."

Kate was silent for a moment. "The chief sort of implied that if I stayed, he'd transfer me to a desk in One PP and make sure I stayed there."

"What! They're going to punish you for stopping Loksat? That's absurd. That's worse than absurd. First thing tomorrow I'm calling Washington and talking to Bob Weldon. We'll see about punishing you."

"I told the chief I'd have to talk it over with you before I made my decision."

Castle stopped his plans for his talk with Senator Weldon. "Do you want to retire?"

"I've been Officer Beckett, Detective Beckett and now Captain Beckett. I think I'd like to try being Mrs. Castle and maybe…Mommy?"

"You know I'll always back you one hundred percent in what you want to do."

"You always have." She kissed him. "I think we should get some sleep, Mr. Castle. I have a lot of things to do and not much time to do them."

"Goodnight, Mrs. Castle."

"Goodnight, Mr. Beckett."