71. Chapter 71

After The Third Man

By

USCBdad

Disclaimer: The amount of Castle that I don't own is incalculable. Rating: K Time: See above.

Author's note: Yes, I did write another After The Third Man. It's Chapter 14 in this series. Also my series Dinner at Remy's started after The Third Man. Well, I think that's enough plugging my own work for a while. Of course, I could plug more if…No?

Kate Beckett sat across from Castle at their table at Remy's and tried to figure out how she felt as they ate their dinner. I'm angry with him. No, I'm not really angry with him. I was but now I'm…Still angry with him, but not that angry. But if I was angry with him, I wouldn't be here. I'm…

Kate stopped and tried to put her thoughts in order. Okay. After I killed Coonan, I told Castle I liked him. No, damn it! That's not exactly what I said. I may have meant it, but I didn't say it. I told him I'd gotten used to him. That's not the same as saying I like him. And I said I wanted him around when I found the people who hired Coonan to kill my mom. Okay, I didn't tell him I liked him. But I had hoped he got the point that we were past the point where I'd threaten to shoot him or break his legs.

Kate remembered the shock of reading the blurb on Page Six of the Ledger. It said we were dating and that we'd probably be married by next year. I couldn't imagine why Castle would tell the paper such a ridiculous story that was so obviously untrue. I assumed that it was some stupid joke he had thought up to make me look ridiculous. Oh, much later, he did explain to me that it was something that the writer had decided based on the fact he had talked so much about me in the interview. Actually, I thought it was funny, once he explained. I mean those celebrity gossip columns are always publishing wild rumors that have no basis in fact. Flash: Castle and Beckett an Item! Film at eleven. Extra! Cano Vega abducted by aliens and meets Elvis. They do it all the time and no one takes it seriously. Well, obviously Castle takes it seriously. If he had just laughed it off as tabloid celebrity gossip, I would have accepted it. I would have given him a hard time about it, but I wouldn't have stayed angry.

Then he really made me angry. He acted like being publically linked to Detective Kate Beckett was a deadly insult. That his silly reputation as a ladies man would suffer horribly because someone thought he might be dating a cop. I was very angry with him. Maybe I shouldn't have reacted that badly, but I thought that after all we'd been through, he was reverting back to his annoying, childish ways.

Now that I think about it, it's kind of sweet that Castle spent so much time talking about me that the reporter, Donna What's-her-name, thought we must be dating. And seriously dating. If he had only emphasized that part, rather than whining about being publicly linked to me. Didn't he realize how that would make me feel? It hurt! Oops! I didn't exactly point that out to him. I was too busy letting him know that article was a problem for a "hot cop". Oh, to hell with Castle! He should have known he was hurting my feelings. This is all his fault!

So I got a date with Brad "Ya Wanna Have Sex With Me Later" Decker. He can save all the puppies in the world and he'd still be a creep. That's the last time I let Lanie set me up with a pin up boy. Pin up man!

And all of a sudden there was Castle at Drago. For a second I really thought he went there because I went there, but I'm sure he didn't. He would pick the best restaurant for his date.

For his date! Amanda Livingston is just what I pictured his date, any of his dates, to be like. Rich, gorgeous and thrilled to be with Rick Castle. I mean, she told that reporter she wanted to meet Castle. Knowing Castle's ego he must have been over the Moon!

And he kept leaving her to talk to me. Beckett wasn't too sure where that thought had come from or what it meant. He did leave her twice to come talk to me about the case. He thought that talking to me about the case was more important than his date. And she wasn't at all happy about it from the way she grabbed onto Brad. She was happy to see the last of Castle. The second time, when I told Ryan and Esposito to meet us at the pet store, it never occurred to me that Castle might not want to come. And he never gave it a thought either. He just followed me out and got a cab.

And I know what that means. It means that there is an "us". But what does it mean that there's an "us"?

"How's your burger?" Castle asked, breaking into Beckett's thoughts.

"Oh, it's perfect. We should eat here more often." Kate realized what she'd just said and added. "It's so close to the station and all. We could all come over here."

"Right." Castle said with a smile.

This has been strange. Bizarre, even. Castle thought to himself. Donna was right. I did talk an awful lot about Beckett. And I have to talk to her now.

"Beckett?" He said, putting down his burger. "I'm sorry. I over-reacted about the article in the Ledger. I shouldn't have acted like I did. I apologize."

Kate managed to keep her smile from showing. This is more like it. "Apology accepted, Castle. Don't worry about it. Homicide is a high stress environment. Sometimes things get to be too much. I've seen people who have been friends, partners, for years get into screaming matches over absolutely nothing. And then they're friends again. It was nothing." Now she let her smile show. "I've forgotten about it already." I've forgotten about some of it. The part about you talking so much about me to that reporter I'll remember. And how you kept coming over to me and leaving your date, and "us" leaving together.

Castle relaxed. I'm glad I got that over with. We're back on an even keel now, although I'm not sure what that means any more. I was upset when I saw that article. I was upset because I'm definitely not ready to marry anyone. But I was upset because I knew Beckett would be angry. And I was so psyched when I found out that Amanda wanted to date me? How cool was that? Number Three wanted to date Number Nine. But I spent the whole date thinking and talking about the case and wondering what Beckett was doing. I had to go talk to her. I'll have to face it. I was more interested in Beckett and our case than in Amanda. For that matter…Castle stopped and looked at Beckett who was working on her French fries. For that matter, I'd rather be here at Remy's with Beckett that be with Amanda at Drago.

But I have to be careful. I would like more with Beckett, but I know that I can't be what she wants and needs.

Can I?