549. Chapter 549

After The Good, the Bad, and the Baby

Episode 6.10

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Baby, I do not own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

She sat on the edge of the bathtub, looking at nothing in particular. Finally Castle stuck his head in the bathroom "You okay?"

She nodded, but said nothing and didn't move.

He walked over to her and sat next to her. He looked at what she held in her hand. "Kate, are you…Um, are you actually...I mean…Is that?"

"I'm pregnant." She said quietly.

He kissed her. "That's great." He waited for a reply and when she didn't speak, he added, "Isn't it?"

She rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm terrified. I don't know how to do this."

"No one does, at first. Before Alexis was born I read every book there was on raising a baby. Meredith bought maternity clothes until she discovered that they made her look fat. I don't think she ever accepted the idea that she was fat. But, in spite of all the books I read, I decided the first day we were home with Alexis that I knew absolutely nothing about raising a child. I was terrified. And by that time I had figured out I'd be doing most of the baby raising, even though Meredith and I were still together."

"Castle, Alexis is the best kid ever. You did a great job of raising her. You'll do a great job with ours. I just don't know if I'm going to be any help. I just…I just…"

"Don't worry about it, honey. You'll be great." He paused. "You do want a baby, right?"

She nodded. "Up until my mom was murdered, my goal in life was to be just exactly like her. A great lawyer, caring about people the system had forgotten, and a great mom. I wanted to make those great breakfasts she made every Sunday with my own daughter. If she had her tonsils out, I wanted to sit with her and eat ice cream and watch Temptation Lane. I wanted a great husband to share all this with, and I knew back then that that's exactly what I'd have. There was no way my dreams weren't coming true."

"And then your mom was murdered."

Kate nodded slowly. "I dropped out of Stanford, enrolled in the Academy and became a cop. I knew I had time for only one thing: To find her killer. I stopped thinking about a husband and a family and all that. There wasn't any time. And after three years I had to go into therapy and I gave up the idea of finding Mom's killer and I pretty much gave up on any idea of having any life except being a cop. My walls were firmly in place by then, but I didn't really care. I was doing something important and the fact that I'd never be able to love someone for fear that I'd lose them didn't bother me. Most of the time."

"And then you met a ruggedly handsome writer."

Kate grinned. "I did. And things slowly changed. Very slowly. But I was in love with a guy who I knew, absolutely knew, didn't love me as much as I loved him."

"You were wrong. Very wrong."

"And things started changing faster. The man who murdered Mom was dead. I tried to find someone I could love as much as I loved you, and didn't. And before I knew it, Bracken was in jail and I was married to a wonderful man who loved me as much as I loved him. And I'm still trying to get used to that. And now this…"

Castle slid one arm under her knees and one behind her shoulder, then lifted her up. "And that means I'm going to have to really go overboard pampering you from now on. Come on, Mrs. Castle, we need to go to bed."

"I hate being pampered." She insisted, but not as convincingly as she once had been.

Kate's dreams that night were anything but comforting.

"Mrs. Castle, "Principal Gates said sternly, "we've discovered that little Johanna has been extorting the lunch money from the other students in her kindergarten class. That is not acceptable behavior. You are not a very good mother."

Kate sat in a very small chair looking up at Principal Montgomery. "We try to be liberal with our students here, Mrs. Castle. We expect a bit of rebellion from our fifth grade students, even a bit of mischief. However, writing dirty limericks about me and Miss Jacinda with a flamethrower on the front lawn of the school is too much. You are a bad mother, Mrs. Castle."

Mrs. Jordan Shaw, the head of the school board, loomed over Kate, her voice sounding like thunder. "Although Johanna did release the hostages, taking them in the first place is not acceptable. Lots of girls aren't invited to their prom. We have rules, Mrs. Castle."

"I know," Kate sobbed, "I'm a terrible mother."

"You'll have to take care of him after I give birth." Johanna said coldly. "And, no I have no idea which member of the Visigoths Motorcycle gang is the father. This never would have happened if you weren't such an awful mother. And Dad was always such great dad."

The TV anchor seemed to be looking straight at Kate through the TV. "After blowing up the Empire State Building and the UN buildings, the Johanna Castle gang escaped leaving behind her mother, Kate Beckett Castle, whom the UN unanimously voted today as being the worst mother in all of human history. Meanwhile, the damage…."

Kate sat up in bed, crying. Rick woke and pulled her to him. "What is it?"

Kate told him about her dream.

"Kate, no one could be that bad a mom. It was just a nightmare. Don't worry about it."

She shook her head. "No, it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I think I'll be a bad mom, I will be a bad mom."

Rick held her and comforted her and eventually she went back to sleep.

When she got back from the precinct the next day, Castle called her into his office. "I have a present for you." He handed her a few sheets of printed paper.

"What is it?"

"Read it."

Mother Castle

By

Richard Castle.

"Little Johanna is a joy to be around, Mrs. Castle." Her kindergarten teacher gushed. "She's so smart and so helpful, it's like I have another teacher with me. Could you possibly come in and give a class to the other mothers? They're all dying to know how you became such a great mom."

Principal Montgomery was beaming with pride and joy. "I'm absolutely amazed, Mrs. Castle. No one has ever been accepted at Harvard at age twelve. It's even more amazing when you consider that she won fourteen gold medals at the Olympics just before she took her SATs. And of course she was also the Homecoming Queen. I was glad that she decided to pursue her education and not sign the record deal. Although, eighteen trillion dollars is a lot of money. You must be so proud to know that your abilities as a mother have gotten Johanna to where she is today."

Kate just smiled shyly. "Oh, it was nothing."

Johanna smiled at her mother. "Of course I wasn't afraid, mom. I just remembered all the things you talked to me about. Then it was easy figuring out his problems and what some solutions were. And then he allowed me to go ahead and disarm the bomb. I'm just glad I could help him and keep Manhattan from being vaporized."

"In giving her speech in Stockholm, Ms. Castle credited her sweep of this year's Nobel Prizes to the outstanding upbringing given her by her mother, Mrs. Katherine Castle. She further said…"

"President Castle, in the company of her mother, announced the final peace treaty bringing peace to the Middle East had been signed. Along with our reconciliation with China and Russia, war is no more on our planet. With more on our amazing President and her perfect mother, we now switch to Sarah Ryan, our White House correspondent. "Sarah, can you hear me?"

Kate giggled all the way through the short story. "This is how you see me as a mom?"

"Absolutely." Castle said as seriously as he could manage. "Who wouldn't see you like that?"

She kissed him. "And there was nothing about the great job that Mr. Castle must have done?"

He shrugged. "This story is about you."

"No, Rick. This story is about us."