492. Chapter 492

After Rise

Episode 4.01

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Shoot me in the heart if I say I own Castle. Um, I take that back. Rating: K Time: See above.

One Week After.

Josh had taken it reasonably well, up to a point. "It isn't working. Your job, my job, we're never together. And, really, we're not going anywhere with this."

He smiled at her. "But we're great when we are together, right?"

She shook her head. "Sex every once in a while isn't what I'm looking for. It isn't enough."

"It's really all I can give you. I'm not a nine to five kind of guy. And you aren't either."

"Then we're agreed?"

"Just don't end up with Castle. Please, don't do that."

"I don't think that's of any concern to you now."

"Kate, he's the one who almost got you killed. You can see that, can't you?"

"No. The one who almost got me killed was the sniper who pulled the trigger and the guy who paid him to shoot me."

"He pushed you into this. You had given up on your mom's case." He said gently.

"I'm a cop. I'm the one who looked into her case. It's what a homicide cop does, whether it hurts me or not. I couldn't do anything else."

He shook his head sadly. "Do you really believe that?"

"I know it."

"I don't think I ever understood you at all."

No, you never did, but he did. She thought.

Three Months Later

She ran through the darkened garage chasing Dale Landers. She ran past oddly shaped things that seemed to move in behind her. Landers turned around corners and disappeared for a few seconds, but always reappeared ahead of her. The further she ran, the darker it got. He came to a door. It was locked. She had him. He whirled around, gun in his hand. "Don't come any closer!" He screamed.

She stopped. She was positive her pistol was in her hand, but she couldn't feel it. She tried to move her hand, but nothing happened. She just managed to look down and could see a strange, dark form in her hand.

She looked up at Landers. His sniper rifle was pointed right at her heart. It would go right through her heart. He couldn't miss at this range.

"Beckett? Where are you?"

Castle! He had followed her. Why? What was he doing here?

"Beckett, what is…?"

She saw the barrel of the rifle move and heard the shot. She turned around to see Castle on the ground, blood pouring from his chest.

She started screaming and couldn't stop.

Her eyes opened. She looked around while simultaneously grabbing for her pistol which was in her dresser and not on her hip, and turning on the light. She looked around. She was in her bedroom. Another nightmare. According to her alarm clock, she had been asleep for just over an hour.

I can't do this. I have to tell Castle that I heard him say that he loves me. I have to tell him that I don't love him. I have to tell him to leave. He has to get away from me. He said everyone connected with this case is dead. Montgomery died protecting me. I can't let Castle die. I can't screw up like I did today and get him killed. Or Ryan. Or Esposito. I can't have another death on my hands. I can't let myself love Castle. I can't…Kate laughed. I can't do what? Tell Castle to stop loving me and get him to listen? Tell him to stay out of my life and my mom's case and make him do it? He's never listened to me and he never will. All I can do is do my best to make sure nothing I do gets him killed and work very hard at getting myself to a place where I can love him back. if I can.

It took hours, but she finally got back to sleep.

Three Months and One Day Later

"Something wrong, Beckett?" Esposito asked.

She shook her head slightly. "Of course not. Why would you think that having a sniper who can become invisible to a bunch of cops after shooting me is wrong? It's not like he's still out there. Oh, wait. He is still out there." She was only slightly sarcastic.

"I know how you feel. I feel the same way."

"Why do you feel the same way?" She asked, puzzled.

"Whoever this guy is, this Dragon, he's ruthless. If I were him, I'd figure you told your whole team all you know. I'd make sure I got them, too."

Kate felt like a block of ice had suddenly been dropped in her stomach. "You and Ryan?"

"And Castle." Espo added.

"He isn't a cop." The block of ice grew bigger and began to churn in her stomach.

"He's as much a part of the team as I am. Everyone knows that. The Dragon's got to know that. And, he's at least as dangerous to that guy as Ryan or me."

"Dangerous? Espo, he's not dangerous."

"He's a millionaire. He knows people. People like Sal Tenor, the capo. He knows CIA guys. He knows lots of dangerous guys. If I was this Dragon, I'd put Castle right with you at the top of my hit list."

Kate nodded. She felt like being sick. How the hell did I get him into this? No. I didn't get him into this. He got himself into this. How do I get him out? Can I get him out?

Three Months and Five Days Later

The nightmare had been particularly gruesome. Castle had been shot by Dick Coonan and Roy Montgomery walked Coonan out of the precinct, both of them smiling. Castle had lain on the floor, bleeding and calling for help, but Kate couldn't move and no one else seemed to care.

"Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate." He said before he died.

Kate had woken up, pounding her fist into her pillow and screaming. She sat up and checked the alarm clock. It was only a few minutes before her usual wake up time. She finished her morning routine in record time and then called Castle.

"Body drop?" He asked, at once.

"No. But I need to talk to you. The coffee shop in half an hour?"

"I'll be there."

From the moment she hung up the phone to the moment she walked into the coffee shop, she had steeled herself and gone over what she had to say. I can make him listen to reason. He cares for me. He loves me. He'll do what I want. Just for a while. When this is over, we can get back together again. I can love Castle and he'll love me. We'll be together. I can do this. I have to do this!

As soon as she walked into the shop, she saw him with two cups of coffee. He as smiling at her. She could see from just the look on his face that he loved her. I can do this.

She took the coffee from him and she sat down. He was still smiling at her. She knew he wasn't just giving her coffee, he was telling her he loved her. I can do this.

"What did you want to talk about?"

Her resolve collapsed. "I wanted to apologize to you for the other day. I did lose it and you could have gotten hurt. Killed, even. I'm sorry. But, I think your help with Mitch Yancey got me going again. I'll be alright. But thanks."

"Forget it. That's what partners do."

She tried again. "Castle…" She stopped. I can do this.

"Yes?"

"You were right. I do need to step away from this for a while. Thanks again." I can't do this.

He smiled at her.

Coward! Liar! Her conscience screamed at her, but she smiled back at him.