41. Chapter 41

After The Limey

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: What we have here is failure to communicate. That is, I don't own Castle. Rating: K Time: Guess.

"Castle, wait up."

Castle turned and saw Lanie hurrying after him as he headed out of the precinct to his date with Jacinda.

"What is it?" he asked when she reached him. "I'm busy and in a hurry."

"It's important. It's about Beckett."

Castle shook his head. "Important? That's your opinion. Like I said, I'm busy."

"Hold up." Lanie said, taking ahold of his arm.

Castle glared at Lanie. "Dr. Parish, what part of I'm busy and I'm in a hurry did you fail to learn in medical school?" He pulled his arm away from her brusquely and walked away in a hurry.

"Damn it! What is the matter with that man?" Lanie muttered. She thought for a moment. "Espo! He might know something." Lanie turned around and headed for the homicide bull pen. When she got there, she was happy to see that Esposito and Ryan were there, but Kate Beckett wasn't.

"Espo, Ryan, is Beckett still here?"

Espo shook his head. "She left with her coat on about fifteen minutes ago. Why?"

"Do either of you two know what's going on with her and Castle?"

"Nothing." Ryan replied.

"Kevin Ryan don't you smart mouth me, or I swear I'll slap you silly."

"I'm not smart mouthing you." Ryan said defensively. "I'm being accurate. Nothing is happening between Castle and Beckett. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. Bupkis."

"Well, something happened. First Castle roars up with some blonde bimbo and literally rubs Beckett's nose in his new sex toy. Then he leaves in the middle of an investigation for his lunch date. Since when has lunch been more important than work?"

Ryan nodded. "When he is here, he acts like Beckett is invisible. He just ignores her, when he isn't bragging about his extra-curricular activities."

"Well what the hell is wrong with the Writer Boy?" Lanie asked sharply.

"Like you really need to ask?" Esposito said sarcastically.

"Well, I guess I do, Mr. Detective. Can you please tell me?"

Espo rolled his eyes, then took a deep breath. "Castle's been here for, what, a little over three years?"

"About."

"And he's doing research for his Nikki Heat books, supposedly. But he's done enough research to write a whole library full of books. So why does he hang around, as if we all didn't already know?"

"Okay, he hangs around for Beckett." Lanie admitted.

"For three years."Espo added. "And from where I'm sitting Beckett is doing a really good impression of a woman who isn't Interested in Castle. Why should he hang around? Why shouldn't he have some fun in his life? What's he risking? What's he missing by having a good time with a nice friendly blonde? A blonde who seems to have decided she likes him in something less than three years."

"You know Beckett's history. She has issues to work through."

Espo nodded. "It looks like she'll have plenty of time to work on her issues without any interruptions."

"Well thank you, Mr. Caring and Concerned." Lanie said snidely.

"Lanie, everyone has issues, Beckett isn't alone in that."

"So just what kind of issues does Castle have?"

Espo shrugged. "How about a woman who's been pushing him away for three years? As Beckett is so fond of telling Castle, he's not a cop. He doesn't have our training, he doesn't have our years of experience. Hell, he doesn't even have a gun if he needs one. He could end up in a body bag any day of the week. I think he's finally figured out that he needs to get out while he still can. I'll tell you one thing, if I was a writer with no police or military experience, I wouldn't hang around for three years waiting for a woman who might never be there for me. No way. I'd need a hell of a lot more encouragement than Beckett has ever given Castle."

Ryan nodded. "Besides, Beckett and Castle are adults. We can't run their lives for them."

"And we're just going to do nothing?" Lanie said.

"Why don't we talk to her?" Espo asked. "Then she can tell us that there's nothing wrong, everything is just fine. Just like she always does. Then what do we do?"

"Lanie, "Ryan said, "I'd like to see Castle and Beckett together, too. I remember the old Beckett. This one is a lot happier. But we have to consider the possibility that it's never going to happen. Beckett's whole adult life has been about her mom's murder. Do you think that's ever going to change? She's likely to end up like all those cops who never had any life outside of the NYPD, sitting around with a lot of other old Fudds talking about the good old days. I'm with Espo on this. I think it's maybe time for Castle to move on. Get himself a life while he still can. Maybe Beckett never will get to a point where she can have a relationship with Castle. "

Lanie crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the two detectives. "Fine! You two be that way with your friends. I won't." Lanie turned on her heel and strode off.

Later that night, Lanie heard a knock at her door. It was Kate. "Kate! How are you? Where did you go after work?"

Late went to Lanie's couch and sat down. Lanie offered her some wine which she accepted. "Colin Hunt offered to buy me a drink before his plane went back to London."

"Oooh! Tell me all about it, sweetie."

Kate shook her head. "There's nothing to tell. It was probably the most boring couple of hours he's ever spent. I was so upset about Castle that I hardly knew what he was saying. Or what I was saying."

"Kate, did it ever occur to you that it might work out better if you sat down with Castle and not some other guy?"

Kate looked sharply at her friend. "Sure. Maybe I can get him between his lunch and dinner dates with the blonde. How can he just bring her into the precinct like that?"

"And that's different from you and Demming smooching in the break room or you with Josh?"

"Of course it is?" Kate snapped. "How can you compare them?"

"So it's okay for you to fool around in front of Castle, but when he does it, it's wrong? Oddly enough, most men don't buy that."

Kate glared at Lanie, then dropped her eyes and stared at the floor for a long time. "It's different because Castle told me he loves me." She said quietly.

"What?" Lanie shrieked." He brought that bimbo to a crime scene and then he told you he loves you? Is that man out of his mind? You should have shot him, right there and then."

Kate shook her head as she started to cry. "No, he told me he loved me after I was shot."

"What? There in the hospital?"

"No. At the cemetery. It was the last thing I remember before I passed out."

"What did you tell him when you saw him again? What happened?"

Kate stared at the floor again. "I lied. I told him I didn't remember anything about the shooting. I never told him a thing, about what I heard or how I feel."

"You've known Castle loves you for almost a year and you still can't do anything about it? Are you serious?"

"Lanie, I've been a mess since my mom was murdered. In addition to that, I have some vast conspiracy trying to kill me, I have PTSD from my shooting. I just can't face Castle saying he loves me. I can't handle it. I just can't face that right now. And, I don't want to lose what we have. Our friendship."

"Kate! Are you even listening to what you're saying?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your friendship? He's heading off for weekends in Vegas. Castle brought his girlfriend to the crime scene. He's squeezing in case work between dates. Kate, you're no longer in a position to decide anything about your so-called friendship with Castle. He's the one making the decisions about your relationship. And in another month or two, this friendship you seem to want so badly is going to consist of you calling Castle and getting his voice mail."

Kate began crying again, but Lanie went on. "And all you'll be facing is Castle's back headed away from you. You've approached your relationship with Castle with the idea in your head that you're in charge, like you are when you're on a case. But you're not in charge now, he is." Lanie put her arm around Kate. "Sweetie, he's been waiting for three years. In that time you've never had a date with the man. You've never kissed him. You two have never…"

"We have kissed." Kate said suddenly. "We did kiss. And we've had dates."

"When did you kiss him?" Lanie asked suspiciously.

"We kissed when we took Lockwood down. There was a guard out front and we pretended to be drunk to let us get close enough to the guard to let me knock him out. But the guard wasn't buying it, so Castle kissed me. Twice."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Of course I did."

"And what did you do after that?"

"We rescued Ryan and Esposito and took down Lockwood. What do you think we'd have done?"

"No, sweetie. What did you do about the kiss afterwards? With Castle? In the more than a year since then?"

Kate sadly shook her head. "Nothing."

"And these dates you say you've had?"

"We go out for a burger at Remy's after work, or we go to lunch. We have drinks together sometimes."

Lanie shook her head. "Kate, you've done that with Ryan, Esposito, Montgomery and dozens of other cops you've worked with over the years. Do you feel you've dated Ryan, or Esposito or Montgomery?"

"No." Kate whispered.

Lanie hugged Kate. "Sweetie, I talked to Ryan and Esposito about you and Castle today. They told me something and maybe they're right."

"What did they say?"

"Maybe you aren't ever going to be ready for anything with Castle. Maybe this is as close to Castle as you'll ever allow yourself to get. Perhaps you should let Castle get on with his life and you get on with yours."

Kate pulled away from Lanie. "No! I'm not going to do that. I've put too much into this. I've tried too hard to just walk away. I can't just let it all slip away like it doesn't matter."

"Let it all slip away?" Lanie said softly. "All what? A kiss? You would have slapped Castle into next week if he'd kissed you other than in the line of duty. And your non-dates?"

"Kate, you have no trouble attracting good men, people that can make you happy. Look at Tom Demming. You were further with your relationship with Tom after knowing him for three days than you are with Castle after three years. Just accept it and…"

"I was not further along in my relationship with Demming than I am with Castle!" Kate said with a fierceness that surprised Lanie. "I was never any place in my relationship with Demming."

Kate suddenly stood up. "Lanie, thanks for the drink and the advice, but I have to be going now."

She walked to the door and opened it.

"Kate, you're not going anyplace and you know it. Think, sweetie. Think."

Kate closed the door behind her and walked away. I know what I should do. I should go to Castle's loft and drag him into his bed. No, suppose that damned Jacinda is there? Damn! Damn! I'll have to try to see him tomorrow.

She walked into he night.